The girls had been over Emily's and Paige's houses countless times to check on the girls, Spencer leading the group. She knew she had wronged Paige and desperately wanted to make it up to her, realizing the trauma her faults, but all Paige wanted was admittance into their group, and that Spencer could provide. As the unofficial momma bear and resident pit bull of the girls, Spencer took Paige under her wing. It was her personal mission to help Paige and was a key factor in bringing Paige home her school work and relentlessly making sure she was academically on track, even bringing up her Trigonometry grade to a solid A-. The two shared a matched intensity that Spencer found both intimidating and heartening as well as the common wellbeing of Emily. Together they were a force to be reckoned with and no one would think to cross them or anyone they cared about. If A was out to get them, these two powerhouses were ready.
Upon waking up that morning, Paige held a weight in her chest that was like no other. She and Emily had worked on school work for the past week and she was ready for classes but there was no way she could prepare herself for the countless looks of judgment or pity from her school mates. As she rolled over and she noticed that once again Emily was already awake looking paler than she had ever seen her. Their honeymoon was over, their parents had discussed the fact that the girls had moved in and thought it was time that they needed to focus on school and a return to normalcy. Much to the girl's displeasure, the understood that they needed some time apart and didn't want to begin to smother each other. Paige would be spending the night in her own bed alone and that reality hit her like a pile of bricks. Rolling over she threw her arm across Emily's stomach and curled up to her body, resting her head of the girl's chest. She was afraid for Emily, who was going to wake her up from her nightmares? Last night had been horrible and she didn't want to leave her alone. She crawled up and kissed Emily's neck and made her way to her lips.
Emily was distant from Paige, lost in thought, barely responding to her kiss, laying there in a trance. Paige only curled tighter around the girl, resting her head on her shoulder. "Come back to me, Em. I'm right here, you're okay. Em" she whispered into Emily's ear. And as Emily felt Paige's breath on her ear, she returned to her bedroom, noticing the fan blades slowly turn above them. I'm losing it. Emily thought to herself. How am I supposed to listen to any teacher in class when I can't even pay attention to Paige? Aren't life's lessons strange? I should be focused on European history, not the specifics of murder or nightmares. Everything is telling me to stay in bed all day again. Why should I fight it? She rolled over into Paige and buried her head in her embrace. It was ten of six, it wasn't too early for the two to be awake, often swim practices started at 6:15, which meant the girls would already be on their way, if not at school already. Life had gotten in the way of swim practices and Paige was missing the water desperately, she felt that innate need to be free, to push, and to be pushed beyond her limits. She craved physical exertion and a full recovery was still a few weeks away. Paige was always overly athletic, excelling in swimming and field hockey, as well as running and biking. She craved those endorphins and self-medicated through the ache of sore muscles.
As they laid together, Emily began to realize how much she was going to miss sleeping in the same bed as Paige. Physical touch had always grounded the girl's relationship, but even though they drifted apart most nights, feeling the weight of the girl beside her was going to be a tough adjustment. Pam casually knocked on Emily's door to make sure the girls were awake and as she opened it she was greeted with a disgruntled wave from Emily, signaling they were indeed already awake. Allowing the girls to get ready for school in privacy, she moved downstairs to begin making breakfast for the inseparable pair. Pam was worried for her daughter and most nights heard her screams in her sleep, comforted by the fact Paige was there, usually kept her from getting up to check on the girls, but tonight would be different as Paige would be returning to her own house. It was an arrangement that Nick had been bent upon and although Anne and Pam were not as keen on the idea, it would have to happen sooner or later.
Paige stirred first, guilty for unraveling the broken girl from her embrace, kissing her forehead, Emily replied with a heavy sigh. Leaving Emily laying on the bed, she left the room and went to shower. As she undressed she checked her reflection in the mirror, tracing the outlines of her bruises with her fingertips, they were fading nicely, but she could still see them, she would always be able to see them. She turned on the water and stepped in even though it was bitterly cold. The combination of hydrogen and oxygen went from a cold shock to the hottest she could stand. She needed all the power she could muster before heading to school and she knew she had already started the day in a dark place. Once she realized that Emily had fallen back to sleep after their nightmare episode in the middle of the night, she slipped into her own nightmare.
Chasing Emily through the woods was a recurring dream Paige had had several times, each experience more complex than the last. She was barefooted and the brush underneath was sharp and dug into her toes and heals with each passing step. It was in the middle of the day and she could not keep up with the running brunette, always just a step behind from grabbing at her shoulder or her arm. Calling out, Emily ignored her as if she was deaf and continued a strenuous pace that even Paige was having trouble keeping up with. All of a sudden Paige was knocked onto the ground and with a heavy thud the wind was knocked out of her. Standing above her was Alison wielding a knife. Jumping onto her torso, Alison held the blade to her throat. "I own you now!" she screamed.
Standing under the blisteringly hot water Paige recalled the dream and wished she could just crawl back to bed with Emily for a very long time. She had no need to analyze it, she knew all of these things were weighting on her subconscious, and she prayed she could forget them, to turn away and never look back. Forcing herself to wash up, she reached for Emily's body wash and applied it to her own body. If she couldn't be with her all day, she was going to smell like her, use it as a comforting measure during the classes they didn't have together.
Getting out of the shower and returning to Emily's room, she noticed the girl was dressed already but was lying back in bed under the comforter. Leaving her there in silence, Paige began to dry off and get dressed. They were pretty much the same size and since they had been staying with each other their wardrobes were very mixed with items that weren't necessarily theirs. Paige now dressed in her underwear grabbed a pair of charcoal jeans and a black fitted v-neck t-shirt. It was colder fall than usual which caused Paige to also grab a gray zip-up out of Emily's closet. Unaware of the intensity Emily was watching her, she sat on the edge of the bed to put on her socks and boots, when she noticed that Emily had begun to giggle for the first time in weeks. Shocked at the sound Paige jumped and looked over at the beautiful sitting next to her. "What's so funny Fields?" she chided.
Emily pulled down the comforter to reveal that she had on a pair of black jeans and a gray v-neck. "If no one knew we were a couple, they definitely will get the memo once we get in the parking lot." "A couple of what is the better question" Paige teased. It was nice to hear Emily laugh and for just a moment it lightened the pressure they had both found each other under.
Paige crawled up to Emily and laid herself on top of her. Propping herself up, Paige leaned in and kissed Emily with such veracity it took Emily's breath away. Emily quickly threw her arms around Paige's neck and drew her in closer all the while Paige was kissing her supple lips. Emily's eyes opened and studied Paige's features closely, the dark circles under her eyes were apparent and the freckles that lived on her nose were faded, she felt the cracks in Paige's usually soft lips. She was so caught up in her own head she failed to notice Paige was failing herself. She drew the girl in tighter feeling the weight of the girl on top of her. It felt amazing to be so close, yet she knew there were miles of distance between them. Everything in Emily screamed to her to take the weight from Paige, she had already been through more heartache for one person in a lifetime, she wished it was humanly possible to save the girl from it all. With a heavy sigh, Paige lifted herself up from Emily "We should get down to breakfast and get this day over with, huh?"
Rolling out of bed the two stood up, Emily grabbing her chapstick from her dresser and catching Paige by the wrist brought her in closer to her. Uncapping the chapstick, she applied it to Paige's lips. "One step at a time love." and then kissed her. They would make it through the day together, Emily was certain of it. After barely eating breakfast Pam saw them out the door, lunches packed, and the two hopped into Emily's car and made the fifteen minute drive to Rosewood High. The two held hands the whole time, listening to Emily's ipod, surfing through her "Swim Meet Win or Die" playlist. Today was just another game the two had to win, but they were champions and thankfully had anchors in each other.