Disclaimer: No, I don't own Artemis Fowl. But you already guessed that, didn't you?

Warning: This chapter is a little bit intense, so I've upped the rating. just warning you.

"Hey, bro, I'm home!" Juliet shouted as she and Holly walked through the front door and into the entrance hall.

The house was no different in appearance than it had been the last time Holly had been here, but it seemed completely void of occupants.

"Where is everybody?" Holly asked, peering around as they dropped their bags and headed to the living room, where they assumed someone would be. Someone was.

"Ah, Juliet. Glad to have you back, dear." It was Angeline Fowl. She was sitting on the living room couch with a book on her lap. Holly and Juliet waked closer and Juliet threw her arms around the woman. "Hello Mrs. Fowl. Glad to be back."

Angeline nodded and glanced down at Holly. "Ah, and this must be the famous Holly Short. Welcome to our Manor, Captain."

Holly's eyes were as wide as saucers. Mrs. Fowl knew her name?

"Artemis." Juliet and Mrs. Fowl said simultaneously, by way of an explanation. Ah. Of course.

"Oh." She said, narrowing her eyes in annoyance with the mud boy. "Well, I guess you know the whole story, then."

"Yes." Artemis's mother smiled and bent down to holly's eye level. "And I'm glad that such a hard-working officer like you get's a few days off. "

"Yes. I'm glad too." Holly smiled. She really liked the mud woman.

"So, where is everybody?" Juliet asked, thumping down on the couch and looking quizzically at Mrs. Fowl. "Where's Butler and Arty?"

Angeline Fowl suddenly looked incredibly downcast. Juliet noticed and jumped up to put an arm around Mrs. Fowl. "Angeline, what's wrong?"

"It's..." Angeline could barely speak and her voice was low and croaking. "It's Artemis."

Holly suddenly felt ice-cold shivers going down her spine. Angeline's expression was so sad and downcast, what in the world could make her sound so depressed?

"He-" she hiccuped. "He's been in his room for a week. He hasn't come down since before you left. Something's wrong with him."

Holly blinked. "Have you tried to open the door? Have you asked him to let you in?"

"No." Fresh tears were streaming down Angeline's face. "He won't let me or Butler in. Butler tried to pick the lock, but Arty had blocked the door with something heavy. Like a bookcase. He hasn't eaten anything for a week. I'm so worried about him."

Holly stood up. "Let me talk to him. He'll let me in."

Angeline's head shot up and the expression on her face was one of purest hope. "Oh Holly, will you? Will you please try?"

Holly nodded, wondering what she was getting herself into. "I will do whatever I can."

Angeline suddenly jumped up and threw her arms around Holly. Holly was surprised. "It's alright..." But Angeline just held on to her, sobbing two words in her ear. "Thank you. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Fowl."

Mrs. Fowl pulled away, but still held on to Holly's shoulders. "Holly, after all you've done, call me Angeline."

Juliet was watching the two women with a worried expression on her face. "Angeline," She said after Angeline had let Holly go. "Angeline, where's Dom?"

Angeline glanced up at Juliet and said regretfully, "Oh, Juliet. Yes, Butler is in the security booth. Fourth floor."

Juliet just nodded and was gone in a flash of green glitter.

Angeline sat down again and said, "Oh and Holly, please be gentle with him."

Holly was already on her way to the staircase when the woman spoke. "Don't worry Angeline." What did the woman think, that she was going to jolt Artemis back to sanity with her buzz baton?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Artemis was in the middle of another one of his dreams. This one was a more recent memory; in fact, it was the memory of when he'd first seen Holly Short. When he'd taken her captive.

"Looking for something?"

Artemis watched himself standing in Holly's cell, not two feet away from her, watching her scrabble down the side of her boot.

"Sit, please"

The expression on Holly's face was one of utmost contempt and hatred. He could practically hear her thoughts whizzing around in her head. Could she incapacitate him, and use him for leverage? The thought had amused Artemis then, but now it only disgusted him. he had deserved this, of course, but it scared him to think of what Holly would've done to him if he was all alone and she was free in that instant.

"Getting ideas, are we, Captain Short?"

Holly bared her teeth and Artemis the elder grimaced. As much as he hated to admit it, there was one thing that scared him more than anything: Holly.

"We are both fully aware of the rules here, Captain. This is my house. You must abide by my wishes. Your laws, not mine. Obviously my wishes do not include bodily harm to myself, or you attempting to leave this house."

Artemis put his hands over his ears. He didn't want to hear it. It was too painful. He couldn't. He wouldn't!

"How do know my-"

"Your name? Your rank? If you wear a name tag. . ."

The younger Artemis smiled. the elder Artemis remembered feeling no joy or relish in that smile.

"But that's written in-"

"Gnommish. I know. I happen to be fluent. As is everyone in my network."

Barely the truth. Butler had tried to learn it, but he confessed it gave him a headache. Juliet hadn't even tried. Her theory was that if her brother couldn't do it, there was no point in trying.

Holly just stared at him, unblinking. "Fowl," She said coldly. "You have now idea what you've done."

Oh, why hadn't he listened to her and abandoned the entire enterprise and just used the communicator to make a profit? Then none of the pain him and his family had gone through would've happened.

But then, he remembered with a twinge of guilt, none of my family would be here today. Not mother, not father, not even me. Not really. Artemis knew that if he had kept up the way he'd been going, he would've ended up a cold, monstrous creature with no pity and no morals and absolutely nothing in the world, besides his brains.

Artemis the younger shrugged. "I'm not concerned with us all, just myself. And believe me, I shall be perfectly fine. Now, sit, please."

The real Artemis tried to keep himself from crying. He'd been so cold. All he'd been thinking of was the gold. Just the gold.

"This isn't over, Fowl. We have powers you can't possibly know about. it would take days to describe them all!"

Artemis looked up in horror. "No, please no! Not that, please!" He tried to scream, or tear himself away, but he couldn't.

The dream-Artemis laughed again. "How long do you think you've been here?"

"NO!"

"A few hours?"

"Three days. We've had you on a drip for over sixty hours . . . until you told us everything we needed to know."

"No, please, no!"

"Three days? You could've killed me. What kind of . . ."

And then the elder Artemis screamed. He remembered the feeling of horrible guilt that had crept through his brain. How could he have done that? How could he have even contemplated doing that?

"Well then, Master Fowl," She spat at him. "If you know so much about us, then you know what happens when they locate me."

"Oh yes, I know. In fact, I'm counting on it."

"Oh really? Tell me, boy, have you ever met a Troll?"

"No. Never a Troll."

"You will, Fowl. You will . And I hope I'm there to see it."

Artemis the elder screamed again and sobbed. He'd deserved everything he'd gotten! And then more! He deserved to be mauled by the wild Troll, thrown against a freight train, and then buried alive by the fairies for the things he'd done.

He jolted out of his nightmare and reflexively grabbed something and threw it. It was his alarm clock and it smashed against the wall, cogs and springs flying in all directions. He tried to stop screaming, but he couldn't. He was still screaming when he heard a banging on the door and worried yelling from behind the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Holy heard the noises before she'd gone up ten steps. The screaming, the crashes. She heard it and ran up the last twenty steps, thinking, please don't be hurt. Please let him be alive!

"Artemis! Open up Artemis Fowl the second!" She hammered on his door and then pulled back to listen. He wasn't screaming now, but she still heard whimpering and crashed from behind the door. "Artemis," She said more gently. "Please let me in. Please."

Artemis went silent. he heard the voice, but he wasn't sure it was really her. Were the nightmares teasing him while he was still awake now?

"Who is it?" He tried to say in a dignified manner, but it really came out as a kind of hoarse whisper.

"Artemis? is that you? It's Holly."

Artemis sat up in his bed and stared at the door in horror. "No, I can't! Go away!"

Holly heard and she just frowned at the door. Oh, how she wished she had her Neutrino. "Artemis! Let me in! NOW!"

"NO!" Artemis started screaming again and he threw the small table beside his bed at the door. "Leave me alone! I deserve it, I know, but I can't go out! You'll have to find your way inside!"

Now Artemis was completely mad. He knew it. He was babbling about leaving his room, but he couldn't stop himself. He had given up all effort.

Holly was getting incredibly worried. She knew she had to get in some way, but how? Now he was babbling again. "Artemis, I'm ordering you to let me in!"

Artemis shook his head and the small spark of sense he had told him that she couldn't see him.

"No. Holly, you don't understand. I can't let you in. If I do, you'll hurt me."

That made Holly freeze where she was. Hurt him? What could she do to him? Was she the thing he was so afraid of?

"Artemis, I promise I won't hurt you. Please, let me in."

Artemis suddenly stood up inside his room. he stepped down off of his bed and walked, without knowing why, to the door and twisted the knob. The only thing that had stopped Butler when he had tried to get in was a combination lock that even butler's formidable bulk couldn't break through. It made the door only open towards the outside and any attempts to force it open would result only in irritation and bruises.

The door opened and there he was, standing in a tattered grey suit with both sleeves missing and his left pant-leg was torn in half from the hem to Artemis's knee. His hair was greasy black and his blue and hazel eyes were wild with fear.

"Holly. At last. Come in."

He stepped back and Holly uncertainly stepped inside his completely pitch-black room. Artemis closed the door and Holly was instantly enveloped in the blackness. Suddenly, Artemis spoke.

"Some light, Captain?"

Holly blinked and suddenly a match light flared up it the darkness. Holly watched Artemis's face, illuminated by the match, and shuddered at the blank expression o his face. She watched him walk over to a candlestick and bent over it. Then he straightened up and walked back over to where Holly was sitting on his bed.

Holly looked into the light of the fire and noticed something. Artemis's first finger was touching the wick. The lit wick.

"ARTEMIS!" She yelled, slapping his hand away from the flame and then grabbing it carefully to inspect his finger. Strangely, Artemis still had that blank look on his face.

"Don't worry Holly. It doesn't hurt. And if it did, well," He gave her a ghostly smile. "It's not even close to what I deserve."

But Holly wasn't listening. she was still holding his hand and blowing on his finger, which was red and blistering.

"Artemis, what has gotten into you?" She asked, wrapping his finger in a piece of ripped fabric from his sheets.

"I'm just exacting the pain that I deserve. Better me than having you do it and feeling worse about it. Then I'd deserve even more pain!"

Holly was just staring at him now, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

"The finger and the candle was for when I caused you to lose your trigger finger. Pain caused, pain deserved. You know?"

Holly held his hand in her lap and said forcefully, "Artemis, you helped me get that trigger finger back! Don't you remember? You don't deserve any pain at all."

Artemis snorted. "One good action in a whirlwind of pain. Makes no difference. I still deserve getting shot and stabbed and kidnapped, for all the paint I caused you and the people during the Siege."

"Shot? Stabbed? Kidnapped I remember but who got shot and stabbed?" Holly asked without thinking.

"Butler got stabbed. Gored, more like. By the Troll. Remember? He got gored, and then you healed him, but it was my fault. I put him in danger because I didn't listen to you."

Artemis's eyes suddenly went glassy and he said in a voice that horribly reminded Holly of her own, "Fowl, you have no idea what you've done. This isn't over yet, Fowl. We have powers you can't possibly know about! It would take days to describe them all!"

Then he switched to a cold voice that was his own. "Three days. We've had you on the drip for over sixty hours. . . until you told us everything we needed to know."

He switched back to her voice. "Three days? You could've killed me! What kind of . . ." And then his eyes cleared.

"You see, Holly? I should've listened to you. Now it's my turn to pay for all the pain I've caused you, the fairy people, my family, and Butler. I got him shot, Holly. Twice. I took away years from him. I have to give something back."

Holly just stared at Artemis, horrified at what her friend had become. How had this happened? Artemis wasn't himself. Why? What had triggered this state of repentitiveness?

"Artemis, why? What's happened to you? Why-"

"Clarity." Artemis said quietly.

"Clarity?" Holly said incredulously.

"Yes Holly. Clarity. I understand now that the pain I caused must be repaid. It's just something I have to do."

Suddenly, he sounded and looked just like the old Artemis. He smiled at her and said gently, "I know this must be hard for you, Holly, so I think it better for you to leave and go back down to Haven, rather than watch this balancing of the scales."

"Balancing of the scales?" Holly sputtered. She grabbed both his hands and looked into his mismatched eyes, concern written all over her face. "Artemis, this is madness! You're not yourself." She let go of his hands and said soothingly, "You need to rest."

Artemis nodded. "Yes. I will rest. But I'm asking you, Holly, please leave my house. I must be true to my word and repay the dept that I now owe all of you. It will only put you in a state of anguish, so I must ask you to leave."

Holly shook her head in surprise. "Artemis-"

"I must Holly. Please, go now." He pulled his hands away from her and said, "It's the only way. Please."

Holly blinked. She realized that Artemis's mind was completely gone, and the only way to deal with that was to go along with it.

"Alright, Artemis. But please, don't kill yourself. I'll go back to Haven, only if you don't kill yourself."

In reality, she had no intention of leaving. She was going to figure out what was wrong with Artemis and how to help him if it killed her!

Artemis nodded in agreement. "I promise. Although, I can't help it of the dreams do."

"Dreams?" Holly was curious, in spite of herself.

"Yes. The nightmares that have plagued me for at least two weeks. They're all scenes from my childhood." Artemis sighed. "They're what began my realizations of clarity. I understand now that they were trying to teach me. Well, I am now ready to listen."

Holly nodded, her brain whirring with thoughts and ideas about how to help poor Artemis. "OK Artemis. I'm going now. But I'll be back I a day."

Artemis sighed again. "Very well. I understand that I can't stop you, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm very sorry about what happened."

Holly gave him a quizzical look. "What happened when?"

"When I first met you. I kidnapped you, I lied to you, and I shot you full of tranquilizer." He sighed. "That is one of the first things I must repay."

Holly shook her head. "Artemis-"

"I'm done, Holly. I must ask you to leave for now. I won't be sleeping, just so you know, but I will try to rest my mind." He smiled. "What little of it is left."

Holly shook her head again and spoke in a mix of pity and worry. "Alright Artemis. I understand. Please," She reached for his hand and took it, rubbing it gently. "Please be safe."

Artemis nodded and Holly stood up and walked to the door. "I'll see you later Holly." Holly nodded.

"Be safe." She said again. And then she left.

As she closed the door, Artemis licked his fingers and pinched the candle flame out. "I wish it were that simple, Holly."