Hi guys!
I'm so sorry for not updating any sooner but for some reason I couldn't access my account. The next update probably won't be before my semester break and my exams so you'll have to be patient again.
My apologies but I hope you'll enjoy the new chapter! :)
An hour later, Sascha and Lucas arrived at the hideout, accompanied by a tense-looking Dorian and Judd Lauren who had offered to teleport the trio to Nikita's place and spared them a long drive through the country.
Doctor Miller was the first one to cross their path, his blond hair shimmering golden in the fake sunlight. There was a clipboard in his right hand and although Sascha could only make out a few single words on it, it was clear to her that the sheet of paper was about her mother's soon to be reconditioning.
She swallowed and tried not to think of the consequences should the procedure fail. Lucas took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly and Sascha was thankful for his support. She could always rely on her mate's strength because he'd be there for her no matter what happened and there was no need to say that she'd do the same for him in return. They were like day and night, completing each other perfectly and both of them would sacrifice their life for the other without hesitation. Sascha still hoped that her mother would feel like that as well one day, that Nikita would get to know what it felt like to be loved and share the same connection she and Lucas had. Right now it was just wishful thinking but the cardinal E-Psy didn't want to give up all hope for the only parent she'd ever had.
"Doctor Miller," Sascha called out and the blonde man turned around to face them.
"Ms. Duncan, Mr. Hunter." He bowed his head respectfully but did not reach out to shake their hand; something Sascha was familiar with as psy under Silence were trained not to feel or touch one another. It didn't bother her or the three men accompanying her. "What can I do for you?"
Neither Dorian nor Judd acknowledged that they had strictly been ignored by the doctor and silently waited for Sascha to speak again.
"Is there a reason why my mother wants to undergo reconditioning?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
"The medical team has examined the Councilor's shields," Doctor Miller replied. "Given the circumstances, they are somewhat weaker; a consequence of the high dosage of analgesics. However, no significant damage to the brain or your mother's mental abilities has been found, the reports showed no signs of deterioration."
In other words, there was absolutely no reason for Nikita to have such a request.
"If, as you say, everything is alright," Sascha spoke again. "Why would she make this decision?"
"I have no answer to your question, Ms. Duncan." The man's voice showed no signs of emotion in it. "Her decision was made against medical advice. The Councilor is aware of the consequences but has chosen to undergo the procedure nevertheless."
Lucas' hand squeezed hers lightly, letting his mate know that her panther was there for support.
"Where is my mother now?" Deep inside, Sascha hoped that she wasn't too late, that she could still convince her mother otherwise but it was difficult to change Nikita's mind once she had set it up and Sascha had never been good at arguing with the woman who'd survived in the Council for over a decade.
Doctor Miller looked at her with cool grey eyes. "The Councilor is still in her room. I'm doing my round now, if you would like to follow me."
Sascha nodded and looked up to Lucas who gave her a reassuring smile.
"Come on, Kitten," he whispered only for her and Dorian to hear. "Let's visit the old wolf."
She had to crack a smile at the memory of what her mate had told her this morning. If there's one thing I've learned about your mother, kitten, it's that she's as tough and strong as an old wolf.
"Yes, thank you, Doctor Miller," Sascha said to the doctor with a nod.
Nikita POV:
When Nikita had woken up again, the changeling had already left the room, leaving her alone in an almost peaceful silence. She hadn't seen him since their argument earlier this morning about her decision to undergo reconditioning.
Nikita was aware that the doctors wouldn't find anything unusual when they had examined her shields after her request had been made but the measure was necessary for her sanity. If she wasn't able to suppress what was hiding deep inside her mind by using her own powers, she'd have to erase all cracks in her inner wards by undergoing a dangerous procedure; one that could kill her in the worst case.
The door opened but the man stepping inside the room was not who Nikita had expected.
"Sascha is here to see you, Councilor Duncan," Doctor Miller's cold voice sounded through the air.
He placed a clipboard on the table next to her bed and reached out to check on the tubes Nikita's body was connected to.
She didn't have to look up to see who entered the room next; Nikita had already felt the woman's presence.
Sascha. The only daughter she had ever borne.
"Mother." Cardinal eyes watched her, the tiny white stars sparkling on a black background. "How are you feeling?"
The words were not directed at Nikita's emotional state as the former Councilor was trained not to feel.
"The pain is decreasing though still present," she answered coolly as if it didn't bother her at all. Nikita did not want to admit that the pain she was in was still significant because she'd be given another dosage of analgesics and right now she needed her full concentration to seal up the darker part of her mind. "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to make sure you were all right," Sascha said softly. "Mother, why do you want to undergo reconditioning? The doctors said that your shields are fine."
The question had been unavoidable when it came to her daughter, Nikita knew. Sascha was an empath, always concerned about those around her as it was part of her natural ability.
"I'm a member of the Ruling Coalition" Her answer was simple, reasonable. "Showing any kind of weakness right now could be fatal. Reconditioning is going to erase all defects I have suffered from the recent attack."
A lie, she knew. The procedure could very well make her more vulnerable.
Sascha's cardinal gaze lingered at her but she said nothing, not stepping back from beside Nikita's bed.
"Your current state is stable, Councilor," Doctor Miller, eyes fixed at the clipboard in his hands while writing down notes. "However, I still recommend you to reconsider your decision. The procedure can be critical in your condition."
Nikita's cool brown eyes stared at him. "The decision is final, Doctor Miller."
There was no need for her to say anything else; none of the medics would dare not to follow her orders. Even in her current condition, when she was weak and vulnerable, Nikita could very well infect them with her deadliest viruses and erase all memory of the psy working for her in an instant. She had made extensive researches about her employees, had selected each of them carefully after months of surveillance and making sure their loyalty toward Duncan Investments was incorruptible – none of them would do anything against her will.
"Doctor Miller," Sascha spoke again, much to Nikita's surprise. "Would you leave us alone for a moment, please?"
The medic's glance fell on Nikita, obviously waiting for her permission. She nodded, bringing her jet black hair into motion.
Sascha patiently waited for the man to close the door behind him before raising her voice again. "You really shouldn't undergo reconditioning, not when you are in such a bad condition."
She was worried.
"I'm stable. My mental and physical condition-"
"I know what you've told me before, mother," Sascha interrupted her firmly, reaching out to take Nikita's hand. The contact was jolting. "You should know by now that lying to me about feelings is useless. I'm an empath, mother, you have raised me long enough to see what I'm capable of."
Nikita stared at her, eyes as cool and unreadable as ever.
"You're in significant pain and your wounds are still healing. You've been out of surgery for only the third day, if your shields are okay as the doctors say, it has to be something else."
Yes, Nikita thought. "You are wrong," was all she said.
Her throat was beginning to become soar from too much talking, signaling her to put her mind to rest.
Sascha shook her head, determined to not let go. "That's a lie, mother, and we both know it." She sat down on the bed beside Nikita. "You've kept me alive all those years, knowing what I was. All you had to do was to organize an 'accident' for me to die in but you've gone into hyper-drive to raise and protect me all those years ago. It took me a while to realize it, mother, but I understand. I would have done the same."
There was nothing left to say for Nikita as she allowed herself to live fully in this moment when she did not have to pretend her daughter didn't matter. Sascha knew, destroying all the careful groundwork Nikita had made to disassociate herself from the only child she had ever borne within the blink of an eye. So many lies had been spoken throughout the years, so many lives taken and careers destroyed to protect her daughter, the cardinal psy who everyone had told her was flawed, but who she'd known was a power that could not be allowed to come into her own.
Nikita closed her eyes, tired from the efforts she'd made today – a gesture she only made in front of the person she trusted the most.
A polite knock on her mind, so familiar and yet dangerously close to her breaking wards – Sascha. Nikita restrained herself from pushing her daughter away, allowing the mental connection as she did not dare betray too much.
Your shields are weaker, mother. Sascha pathed. But they are not crumbling.
Nikita allowed her daughter to examine her shields, letting herself be surrounded by the other psy's aura.
Reconditioning will strengthen my wards, Sascha. I cannot afford to show weakness.
Not when there was so much at stake.
Sascha's wandering mind paused, her bright presence surrounding Nikita like a halo, burning her ever so slightly.
Reconditioning can't fix what you want to have fixed, mother. Believe me, I know.
It will.
Let me show you how to build up your shields again, mother. Sascha's voice was gentle.
Nikita knew that her daughter was only trying to help, not able to fight her nature as an empath but she didn't understand, did not know what lay behind other woman's weakened shields.
No. She wasn't strong enough to modify her wards yet, too many medications still running through her veins, making her brain a bit sluggish.
Mother, please let me help. A plead. One Nikita purposely ignored. What you are trying to do will not be a long-term solution.
It will be enough for now. Her words were final, her mind set up. There was nothing that could alter her decision, nothing that could be said or done to change her mind.
I hope you are right, mother, for your own sake. I just wish you would listen to me – you'd see that there is always more than one possibility.
Not this time, there isn't.
Sascha POV:
Sascha retreated from her mother's mind, devastated that she wasn't able to make Nikita see reason, to open her eyes to what she was about to do.
A silent tear ran down her cheek but she didn't bother to wipe it away. Instead, she squeezed her mother's hand again and placed a light kiss on top of Nikita's head before leaving the other psy to herself again.
Closing the door behind her, Sascha broke down in tears. Lucas caught her immediately, putting his strong arms around her and letting her cry on his shoulder.
The pain that filled her heart, her soul, was overwhelming, rushing through every vein in her body. It made her feel dizzy and Sascha held on tightly to her mate's shirt.
"She's going to do it, Lucas," she whispered shakily. "She's going to undergo reconditioning and there was nothing I could do to stop her."
He held her even tighter, pressing a soft kiss into her smooth dark hair.
"Your mother is tough, kitten," Lucas assured her. "If anyone can survive this, it's going to be her."
Sascha tried to believe him, but she couldn't. "She's barely been out of surgery for three days, her shields are weakened and her mind is not strong enough to withstand such a procedure. Not yet." She said, shaking her head.
Sascha felt the panther's love embrace her, filling her with a new hope she hadn't thought she possessed. Even though she was the empath in their relationship, a cardinal whose power was so great that she could easily heal a damaged mind without much effort, Lucas was her bastion of calm in times like these.
"When I examined her shields today, I saw something," Sascha whispered and looked up into his bright green eyes. "I don't think it's her shields she's worried about, Lucas. There's something else, something she's afraid of showing us - but I could feel it." Sascha closed her cardinal eyes, remembering the coldness touching her own mind. "I've felt it, Lucas. There is something below her shields that has been slumbering deep inside her mind for years, and it's awakening now."
His gaze lingered at her, worried and thoughtful as he brushed back a strand of her hair.
"Is it dangerous?" he asked, his protectiveness gaining the upper hand.
Sascha sighed. "I don't know, Lucas, I don't know."
She leaned her forehead against his chest.
"What do your psy-senses tell you, kitten?" The panther smiled down at her, gently massaging her neck.
She frowned. "That reconditioning won't put it back to sleep, that it's inevitably going to burst onto the surface one day. But you know something I don't, right?"
His laugh vibrated in his chest and she stepped away from him, glancing at her mate suspiciously. The panther liked to play games with her and he was getting better at it; and sometimes – more often as of lately – he managed to drive her up the wall. Somehow Sascha just couldn't be mad at Lucas for long and her anger only added to his amusement anyway.
"She doesn't smell."
Sascha's eyes went wide. "Do you think it's possible that…"
Lucas hunched his shoulders. "I don't know, kitten. I can just tell you how it is - whether it's a god thing or a bad one, I can't say."
"Hm…" Was all she said but hope arose in her heart again, making it easier for the cardinal psy to breath. Perhaps her mother wasn't lost after all.
Like always, let me know what you think about it! ;) Is the plot still too rushed? I'm trying to slow things down a little, promise. :D