A/N: More thanks to Bondopoulos and Bryrosea for their beyond great betas! And to everyone for their comments/reviews/kudos/follows/subscribes. You are all amazing!

Warning: There are depictions of violence against a minor in this chapter.

Chapter 4 - I'm Damaged Bad At Best

Veronica felt betrayed by her own emotions. After her conversation with Wallace, she'd decided to heed her friend's warning and keep Logan at arm's length for as long as possible. But she found she couldn't resist him or the slightly giddy feeling she got when Logan asked her to have lunch with him. Ugh… I am a complete idiot, but it's just lunch; people have lunch together all the time. Anyway, I need to find out how his dad reacted after last night. Yeah, that's what I'm really going over for… Even she could see through her own lame reasoning.

Veronica took a few minutes to put together a bag before leaving to meet up with Logan. She placed the freshly laundered clothes that she'd borrowed from him in her messenger bag along with a bikini that she wasn't embarrassed to be seen wearing. Years of friendship with Logan had taught her to always be prepared for a swim. She also grabbed what she would need to finish her weekend homework. While she wasn't necessarily expecting to spend the entire day with Logan, she wanted to be prepared for a few different options. She took Backup out for a quick walk and then headed for the Echolls estate.

After entering her code, she parked in front of the open garage. Veronica was surprised to find the door open but grew even more alarmed when she saw Logan's long board lying on the ground. In all of the years she had known him, Logan had always treated his boards like they were his babies. She'd never seen him leave one on the ground like that. Her foot hit something as she continued walking toward the abandoned board; it was Logan's cell phone. Why would he leave his phone out here like this? She got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach when she heard a loud crack.

She entered the kitchen through the garage and followed the sound down the hall to Aaron's study. The door was only open a few inches but it was enough to see Logan on his knees, his back bare and bright red with several open gashes seeping blood. With an audible swish and smack, the belt made contact with Logan's skin again. She heard him groan in obvious pain. Veronica covered her mouth, but that wasn't enough to completely drown out her gasp. Luckily, Aaron had moved on to the speaking portion of the punishment and didn't hear her.

"Maybe next time you'll remember to keep your hands off my $500 a bottle champagne when you want to get a stupid little slut drunk." Logan turned around to face his father and saw Veronica. His eyes widened and he looked terrified for a split second before quickly letting his expression go blank and turning away.

"You two were so fucking sweet all cuddled in your bed like a couple of lovesick fools. I don't care if you want to fuck the hot little bodies you go to school with, but if you knock one of those sluts up, I'll kill you…"

Veronica started to back away from Aaron's study after her brief eye contact with Logan. Once she was a little further down the hall she quickened her pace, heading for the door she had come in through. She opened and closed it loudly and started giggling holding her phone up like she was talking on it. Doing her best impression of a vapid teenage girl, she started speaking loudly. "Oh my god, I can't believe you said that to her, you are such a bitch! Hey, I'm at Logan's. I'll have to call you later. Bye-ee." She tried to make as much noise as possible to alert Aaron to her presence.

She was halfway back into the kitchen when she saw Aaron coming down the hall. A huge fake grin plastered on his too tan face. "Veronica, I didn't realize you were coming back over today." He leered at her legs again, making her regret her decision to wear shorts.

"Logan and I are writing an article together for journalism and we have an AP History exam to study for." She patted her overstuffed messenger bag, trying to maintain her upbeat tone to mask her terrified ferocity.

"Oh, I see. Why don't you go see if he's in his room? I'm not sure where he's gotten off to." His smile never faltered but his twinkling 'Hollywood-Eyes' had gone flat and narrowed slightly.

"Okay then, thanks Mr. Ec… I mean Aaron." She gave him a tight smile and took off toward the stairs at a brisk walk. As soon as she was out of his sight, Veronica ran the rest of the way to Logan's room.

Of course he wasn't there. She hadn't expected him to be, since the only way to the stairs from Aaron's study would have led Logan past the kitchen and them. So she waited and tried not to think about what could be happening downstairs. Five minutes later, a very pale and defeated looking Logan opened the door.

He held a finger up to his lips, "Ronnie, I totally forgot you were coming back over. I wrecked really bad surfing this morning and haven't gotten cleaned up yet. Give me a few minutes and we can get started." He said it all very matter of fact and a little louder than he would normally speak.

She followed his lead, "Okay, I'll just order us some takeout while you patch yourself up. I told you that surfing hung-over was a bad idea. You're lucky you weren't seriously injured, you klutz." She pretended to laugh at him and pulled out her phone to call in their food order. Instead of Italian, she decided on Thai since it was one of Logan's favorites. I can't believe I ever bought his stories about being accident-prone. He is the most graceful person I've ever known. How did Lilly and Duncan not know about this? Or did they? The thought made her blood boil.

Veronica heard footsteps moving away from Logan's room as she finished placing their lunch order. She visibly relaxed, knowing that Aaron was out of earshot. Logan moved stiffly to the bathroom and tried to pull his t-shirt off, but doubled over when he started to pull it up. Veronica moved to his side and gently lifted the shirt away from his bloody back and carefully over his head. She could see tears gathering in the corners of Logan's eyes, which did nothing to stop those already in hers from spilling over.

She led him to the toilet and indicated that he should sit down while she went through his medicine cabinet looking for disinfectant and bandages. She saw a bottle of Oxycontin prescribed in Lynn's name on the shelf. She filled a glass that was sitting by the sink with water, shook out two of the pills and handed them to Logan. Carefully, she cleaned each cut and applied a bandage. But there was nothing she could do about the bruises that were blooming darkly across his back, arms and cheek.

She cupped his face, softly touching the bruise on his cheek, and felt him lean into her touch. His arms came around her waist and he pulled her closer to him as he rested his unmarked cheek against her stomach. She wanted to bolt out of the bathroom and escape everything she was feeling but she couldn't bring herself to leave him. Not like this.

When Logan spoke it was barely above a whisper, "No one's ever done that for me."

"You didn't want your mom to know?" She asked back, whispering as well.

"She knows."

Veronica didn't know what to say. She suspected pity would make him angry and she couldn't find the words to tell him how what she had seen made her feel. Angry, terrified, defeated; things she was sure he felt, too. What good would it do to say them now? She reached her hand up and ran her fingers through his hair, gently letting her nails scrape against his scalp like she knew he liked.

FLASHBACK

"No, Lilly, you're doing it wrong. Watch!" Logan pushed Lilly away from the sink where she was shampooing the dye out of Veronica's hair. They had decided to put temporary highlights in Veronica's hair and lowlights in Lilly's. It was, according to Lilly, supposed to be a fun girl's spa day for them to get over both of their breakups and ready to meet new, more exciting guys. But Veronica felt more like it was 'torture Veronica day'.

"Lilly you're supposed to massage the scalp not tear it up with your nails." And he proceeded to work the shampoo into Veronica's hair while very gently letting his short nails scrape her scalp.

She moaned in pleasure, "Mmmm… Oh. My. God. Logan where did you learn to do this?" She asked breathily, enjoying having her scalp massaged.

"Um…" he coughed, "Sometimes I go to my mom's stylist and I really like it when she does this." He finished working in the shampoo and started to rinse it out.

"I'm bored, come get me when you girls are done." Lilly called to them as she left the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Veronica." He whispered when he heard the door close.

"What for?" She asked softly, still surprised he had been as forgiving of her telling Lilly about his kiss with Yolanda. But when Duncan had broken up with her without so much as a word he'd been there for her.

"For not getting here sooner. I was with DK and I couldn't exactly tell him that I was ditching him to save you from Lilly."

"Please don't tell Lilly. I know she's trying to cheer me up but… it's not working."

"What would work?" He asked her.

"You massaging some conditioner into my tortured hair and scalp might." She smiled up at him.

"Let's see." He held up an open hand. "Hot girl - check, makes cute, sexy sounds during said procedure - double-check, teenage boy - check… four out of five; I think we've got a deal." He said laughing.

"What would make it five out of five?" Veronica asked.

"Nudity." Logan replied grinning from ear to ear.

They bantered back and forth about what constituted cute versus sexy sounds while he finished washing her hair. She felt better than she had in the past week.

END FLASHBACK

The gate buzzer sounded through the intercom, breaking the moment. Logan shifted away from Veronica and released her waist. She stepped aside, giving him room to move past her. He hit a button on a small control panel in his room that opened the gate. He started to bend down to grab a t-shirt from the floor but Veronica beat him to it and helped him slip it on. Slowly, they made their way downstairs to the front door where the delivery guy was waiting for them. Logan threw some bills at him while Veronica held the food.

"Kitchen or back upstairs?" She asked him.

"Upstairs." He didn't want to risk running into Aaron again, especially with Veronica in those skimpy shorts. "If you're going to be over when Aaron's here you should maybe wear jeans—baggy, unflattering ones." Logan said, his tone light but his expression very serious.

"I realized that earlier, but there's nothing I can do about it right now." She shuddered, reminding Logan of how she had reacted the day before when Aaron leered at her.

"No, I guess not." Then he grinned at her loopily. "You could put some of my clothes back on. Just so you know, if it's just me feel free to wear as little as possible. I love looking at your legs." He smirked at her, enjoying the thought of her in his clothes or, even better, maybe out of them. Where did that come from? Logan thought.

"Hey now, don't look at me like that." She tilted her head and winked at him then stepped onto the stairs and moved up a few ahead of him. "You like looking at my legs, huh?"

Interesting… he thought as he watched her sashay up the stairs.

When they got back in his room, Veronica insisted he sit down and relax while she spread out all the different cartons of food. The Oxycontin didn't do much for Logan's appetite, but he knew how much Veronica could eat so he figured they'd still finish everything and laughed to himself. His laugh turned into a hiss from the pain searing through his back and abdomen. Dammit…getting the shit beat out of you sucks…

"Logan? How badly are you hurt?" She set her carton down and gave him a look that was almost maternal. Not a look his mom would give, of course, but one from someone who really cared; someone not drowning in a bottle.

"I'm good. No broken bones, so I'd put this one in the 'Logan Winning' column." Jesus, I shouldn't have said it like that. She stared at him like he had grown a second head then turned away. He could see her eyes glisten, but no tears fell. "Really Veronica, I promise I'm okay. I heal fast. By Monday it'll be like it never happened." She nodded her head, but he could tell that this conversation wasn't over.

They ate their takeout mostly in silence, passing the various cartons back and forth so that they each got a bit of everything—except for the spring rolls, which Veronica devoured all on her own. She must have a tapeworm or something. How can someone so tiny eat so much? It had always surprised him; even Lilly, who would eat in front of him, was pretty picky about what she ate. But Veronica had never been that way, and it was always fun to watch her. Lilly had joked to him and Duncan that watching Veronica eat should be a category of porn. Veronica had protested at first, clearly disturbed, but the topic soon become an ongoing joke between the rest of them.

"Logan?"

"Veronica?"

"When you moved here in the seventh grade… you told me you had missed a bunch of school the previous year because of a snowboarding accident…" She let her words hang.

"Right, a month…or maybe it was five weeks. That was not so much a 'snowboarding accident' as a 'beaten-with-a-snowboard intentional.'" He said wryly.

"Jesus." She hissed under her breath.

"Yeah, that one definitely goes in the 'Logan Loses' column. One concussion, fifteen stitches on my head, one broken leg, a broken arm and three broken fingers. Plus, I bled when I peed for like a week or two. He was a lot more careful about what he hit me with after that. I think he must have paid off the social worker that time," he deadpanned. Sighing, he gave up all pretense, clearly exhausted. He didn't want to talk about this, but Nancy Drew over there would, no doubt, push until he gave up the goods anyway. And he just didn't have any fight left in him. So much for keeping all this from her… "I actually think it pushed them to move us to Neptune. They'd run out of emergency rooms and doctors that they could take me to without anyone getting suspicious."

"God Logan, and your mom knows…" She looked horrified. "Duncan? Lilly?"

"I'm not sure about Duncan, but Lil' had to know. She saw the bruises and cuts. She never asked."

"I can't believe I didn't realize… all this time. How did I not know?" Tears were sliding down her cheeks.

"I worked really hard to make sure you didn't know. I knew you would tell your dad and there was nothing he could do. Not against the Great Aaron Echolls!" He angrily threw his arms wide in a grand gesture and winced. "It's not as bad as it seems; he's not around much, and when he is I usually avoid him as much as possible. You remember how much time I spent at the Kanes'." She nodded. She had been there almost as much as he had.

"Yeah, I remember, I was hiding from my own… problems, too. I haven't heard from her in months." She spoke sadly.

Logan nodded, feeling his own bitterness for shitty mothers. Neither of us can catch a break, can we?

"Well, aren't we the sunshine and rainbows committee?" He sighed and moved to sit closer to Veronica, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. The Oxy is finally kickin' in…nice. He thought when he only felt a twinge as he lifted his arm this time.

"Am I the sunshine or the rainbows?" She asked looking faux serious.

"Definitely sunshine; you practically have a halo. Anyway, I'm the colorful one." He pointed to the bruise on his cheek.

"Do you want to talk more about it?"

"Ugh… no, I didn't even want to talk about this. It's too much. Shit, Veronica, I didn't want you to know all this crap." He shakily let out a breath. "I think I need to take a nap before I spill any more of my secrets to my greatest enemy." He pointed an unsteady finger at her. Wow, I'm losing it. How many of those did I take? Two from Veronica… two more while she set up lunch… then a couple hits from the flask under the sink… Yeah, that'd do it.

"I'm not your enemy Logan, but go ahead. I'll just study while you rest."

"Go home Veronica, you don't have to guard me. I've been living with this for years." He slipped carefully under the covers of his bed to lie on his side.

"I can't, I was in your truck, remember?"

He was fading fast, "Take it…don't talk… to… Aaron." His eyes felt heavy. "Later though…" his eyes closed, "talk… Shelly…" and he drifted off to sleep.

Veronica settled in at Logan's small desk and studied for their AP History exam. Logan slept so soundly that Veronica felt the need to check on him frequently to make sure he was still breathing. After about two hours, she could hear Logan whimpering and sounding distressed. She walked over to the bed and gently touched his shoulder. "Logan, it's just a dream, wake up."

His eyes opened wide and wild. Then he unexpectedly reached out and pulled Veronica to him, burying his face in her stomach. She let him cling to her for a few moments, then slowly leaned away so she could see his face.

"Logan? Are you okay?"

"Stayed… you… still here…." He mumbled incoherently.

"Yeah, I'm still here. Why don't you try to go back to sleep?" She brushed his slightly-damp hair off of his forehead.

He tightened his hold on her, "Here… come here." He started to scoot away from the edge of the bed, pulling Veronica along with him.

"Logan stop," she said gently, trying to extricate herself from his tight grip. Undeterred, he continued dragging her onto the bed. She felt a familiar panic begin to rise up from the pit of her stomach; her legs turned to jello and her heart raced. "Logan. Stop!" She said with all the force she could muster.

He opened his eyes, "Please Veronica." He said it so quietly that she barely heard him. He didn't let go of her, but he loosened his grip and stopped pulling.

Veronica felt the panic recede slightly as his grip on her relaxed. "Logan, I need you to let go of me. If you can do that I'll get into bed with you."

He looked up at her with unfocused eyes and let go of her waist.

"Thank you." She said, full of relief. After a few deep breaths, she carefully climbed onto the bed and let Logan lay his head in her lap. She gently resumed the scalp massage she'd been giving him earlier and continued to take deep breaths as she counted down from one hundred. By the time she reached zero he had fallen back asleep. Veronica slumped down against the headboard and pillows, trying to find a more comfortable position. Logan's slow inhalations and the feel of his steady pulse were soothing to her frayed nerves. She focused on his body's rhythm and found herself drifting.

She woke with a start. It was dark outside and Logan was no longer sprawled across her lap. She could hear the faucet running in the adjacent bathroom. It shut off and Logan came back into the room, still a little unsteady on his legs.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you? I tried to be quiet but I'm feeling a little… um…"

"High?" She offered.

"Yeah, high." He giggled.

Great, Logan is high on painkillers and I just lost…she looked at the clock…over an hour of study time. She wanted to be mad. In fact, she was sure that she was mad, mad at Aaron, mad at losing study time, but not mad at Logan. Try as she might she found it pretty hard to imagine being mad at this six-foot-tall, teenaged boy who was giggling like a little girl.

He staggered back to the bed and threw himself over Veronica's legs. A look of pain crossed his face, finally stopping his giggles. "Owww." He whined.

"Did that hurt? I'm amazed you can feel anything at all. How many Oxys did you take?" She asked very seriously.

His eyes were still unfocused but they were directed at her. "Um… how many did you give me?"

"Two."

"I think four or maybe five then. Definitely not more than five. And then whatever was in my flask." His giggles were back.

"Logan we can't let your dad see you like this." She was sure that, if the champagne theft had led to his current injuries, being caught high as a kite, even if it was because of said current injuries, was not going to earn him any goodwill from Aaron.

At her words Logan shook his head. "No, no, no, no, no, Aaron will be very un… happy with me."

"Will he bother us if we stay up here?" She asked.

"We're supposed to have 'family'dinner." He made wiggly-quote fingers and erupted in giggles again.

"Okay. I'll take care of it. Stay here for just a minute." Veronica patted him gently on the head and squeezed his hand. Her anxiety from earlier was starting to build again. How am I going to get him out of here? She walked to the window, noticing that he tracked her every movement with his whole head rather than just his eyes.

Logan's Xterra was right next to Aaron's silver Mercedes sedan, where she had parked it earlier. So much for small miracles. It was possible that Aaron had left with his driver, but Veronica wasn't prepared to take the chance. She started moving around the room, collecting all of her belongings before packing a bag for Logan.

Ten minutes later, Veronica had them both packed and ready to make the journey to his truck. She debated taking their bags out first then coming back for Logan, but she decided it wasn't worth the extra time. She put on the backpack that she had filled for Logan, and then she slung her messenger bag over her shoulder. Logan had watched her the whole time, and his eyes looked a little clearer than before.

"Okay Logan, here's the plan. I'm going to take you to my house. Dad's gone until at least Monday so you can sleep on the couch until then."

"Okay, 'Ronica." He held out his hand to her as he rolled off the bed.

He put his arm across her shoulders as they made their way out of his room. When they approached the staircase, she carefully wrapped her arms low around his hips. Their descent was slow, but they made it without incident. They continued all the way to the entryway before Veronica heard a door shut. She rushed to get them out of the door, shoving Logan through and quickly shutting it behind them. He had gone down on one knee in her haste, but recovered quickly, considering his impaired state.

"I don't think… we're going… to make it." Logan huffed out between hisses of pain.

"Keep moving; we're almost there." She had the passenger door open and Logan was leaning heavily on her to get in. She pulled the seat belt across quickly, opened the rear door to toss their bags in and ran to the driver's side door.

She turned the ignition over just as Aaron knocked on the window. She jumped a mile and looked at Logan who had turned his face away. She schooled her features and pressed the button for the window to go down.

"Mr. Ec… Aaron, how can I help you?" She asked as sincerely as possible.

"Where are you kids off to?" He asked with a crocodile smile.

"To grab some dinner and then to keep working on our homework at my place. We'll probably be working on it most of tomorrow, too."

"I'm surprised to see you putting so much effort into your school work Logan." Aaron said sternly.

Veronica watched as Logan slowly and deliberately turned his head to look at his father. "Veronica doesn't suffer fools gladly." He quoted and turned away again.

"Um… of course not." Aaron replied as if flustered. He was clearly no stranger to his son's quips and wit, but Veronica could tell that Logan's comment had gone over Aaron's head. "Absolutely. I'm so pleased that your friendship is having such a fine influence on him, Veronica. Well, you kids have fun."

Veronica threw the car into reverse and was already rolling down the driveway as Aaron stepped back from the truck. She drove straight to the Sunset Cliffs Apartment complex that she and Keith called home.