A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and faved/followed this little story so far - it's very much appreciated and I'm thrilled that I've managed to convert others to my odd pairing. Just a brief head's up/warning that this chapter contains Williamssexytimes™.

Chapter Four
A Williams Doesn't Cry

SSV Normandy SR-2

Ashley Williams tried to stifle her cries behind firmly clenched teeth, but her attempts were futile in the face of the fire pulsing throughout her entire body. She had to abandon her own movements between the other woman's legs as her concentration narrowed to one single focal point – achieving orgasm. Her nails scraped against the glass behind her in those few seconds that she hovered on the brink.

"Oh…god," she hissed as she pumped her hips forward with an instinctive urgency. She was so close. Miranda Lawson's fingers dragged through her soaked core one last time and the dam broke spectacularly. "Ah…fuck!"

It was all she could do to cling to the other woman's body as she rode out the consuming waves of her orgasm. Her legs trembled unsteadily beneath her. They would have given way completely if not for the relief offered by being able to lean against the window behind her. As she felt the spasms gradually subside, she let out a long, slow sigh. When something approaching normal intelligence levels finally returned, Ashley remembered exactly how little time had passed between Miranda's first touch and the last that had driven her over the edge. An intense heat remained in her cheeks. When Miranda tried to kiss her, she gently twisted her head away.

"Ash? Are you okay?" Miranda sounded thoroughly confused.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Ashley mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed. She tried to straighten, but the weight of Miranda's body kept her pressed against the glass. The other woman's hand was still nestled between her legs as a glaring reminder of what had just happened. What made it worse was that she did not want her to remove it.

Miranda's weight and her hand were both suddenly gone as she drew back so she could look her in the eyes. "Okay…not what I was expecting you to say," she replied. "Did I hurt-"

"No," Ashley interrupted hastily. She felt like some inexperienced teenager all over again. It was almost too difficult to look Miranda in the eyes as she explained how embarrassment, "I…I couldn't hold on. I tried, but having you touch me like that was…too much."

Miranda's eyes suddenly widened in realisation. Then they softened to twin pools of luminous blue as she stroked Ashley's cheek with a sweaty palm. "Oh, Ash, you have nothing to be sorry about – quite the opposite really. I've never been with someone who has wanted me that badly...or that honestly. You have no idea how refreshing it is."

A tremulous smile started to crease Ashley's lips. "You're just saying that."

"It's not like I have to be nice to you to get into your pants," Miranda quipped playfully. She resumed stroking Ashley's damp centre with the palm of her hand and earned a sharp intake of breath from the other woman.

"Miranda, you keep doing that and I'll be on the floor in one very large puddle," Ashley whispered helplessly.

"I fail to see the problem with that," Miranda replied as she almost cruelly intensified her efforts.

"Ugh." Ashley tried to find words but was annoyed that all she could find were incoherent sounds. She had to fight to keep her hips still. When she swallowed, her throat was bone dry. "Miranda…please, you keep doing that and I'll never be able to do the same for you."

With a grin playing at the corners of her mouth, Miranda slowed her movements and studied Ashley's red-cheeked face. "What do you want to do for me?"

"Oh god, you're not going to make me spell it out?" Ashley demanded in horror. However the other woman's gaze remained locked insistently on hers, compelling her merely with a decidedly evil gleam within her eyes. Ashley eventually groaned softly and swallowed again. Without even thinking about what she was doing, she placed both her hands on Miranda's body. As her fingers and palms began to trace delicate paths over the silky skin beneath, she found a measure of determination. She lowered her lips to Miranda's ear, nibbling it slightly before speaking in an almost shy voice. "I want to make you come."

With those simple words Miranda Lawson almost lost her own tenuous control over her body. Even with her numerous past experiences, she was undeniably more turned on than she had ever been in her life. Her core ached for some form of friction, but she resisted the urge to seize Ashley's fingers and drag them downwards. "How?" Miranda asked as a delicious thrill ran down her spine.

"I-I…" She heard Ashley nervously fumble for the necessary words, even as she continued to touch her. "I think I want…I want to taste you."

Oh Fuck. Ashley's suggestion was…unexpected. Miranda could only nod in hasty agreement as the brunette orchestrated a reversal in their positions. Her body melded against the glass, sharing the same sweat-stained space that Ashley had just occupied.

The way the other woman touched her was unlike anything she had experienced – it was hesitant and yet achingly intimate at the same time. It was as though each stroke, each touch, was carefully planned and thought out before it was made. Although she could feel each callus on Ashley's hands, the touch was still unexpectedly gentle. As Ashley's hands trailed over her breasts and stomach, it was all Miranda could do to close her eyes and press her naked body back against the window behind her. Small moans kept escaping from her throat despite her best efforts to remain composed.

With the first tentative touch of Ashley's tongue against her sex, an unrestrained groan of longing escaped from her lips. She tangled her fingers in Ashley's long dark hair, holding her gently in place as she leaned back against the window. Eventually the light, exploratory strokes of Ashley's tongue became firmer as the noises Miranda was making obviously buoyed her confidence. With one strong hand, she drew Miranda's legs further apart, even going as far as to prop one up on the window's ledge so she could gain greater access. Miranda could only comply as she was completely malleable beneath her touch.

Miranda feared she was tugging on Ashley's hair, but she had very little control over her own body. As Ashley eventually ceased exploring her folds to concentrate solely on her clit, nothing else mattered.

"Fuck…Ash, you're going to make me come," she gasped pointlessly.

By the time Ashley gently teased one finger up into Miranda's slick cunt, it was almost game over as she finally thawed beneath her lover's touch.

Her sleeping cot was so narrow that Ashley knew Miranda was gone before she returned to full consciousness. When she had fallen asleep several hours earlier, she had been intimately aware of their limbs tangled together. It was difficult to concentrate on anything else whilst her lover's thigh was still jammed between her legs, slick with sweat and the tell-tale evidence of how satisfying the sex had been. Had Ashley not been so exhausted after the chaotic whirlwind of events that had happened on Alcyone, then she would have continued trying to slake the desire that raged in the pit of her stomach. As it was, she'd very quickly succumbed to sleep almost as soon as she collapsed onto the cot.

As she clung to the last vestiges of sleep, Ash lingered in that place of content that was a luxury often denied to soldiers. She stretched languorously, her toes curling as her long legs extended and her arms pressed against the bulkhead behind her. With Miranda gone from the cot, a slight chill crept hung on her skin. A half-hearted search for a blanket whilst keeping her eyes closed turned up nothing so she burrowed into her mattress and hoped that Miranda would not be long. As she waited, she could not help but dwell on what had passed between them in those hours since their return from Alcyone. With Javik's accusation of Indoctrination hanging over her, Miranda had not held back at any stage. Ashley's cheeks coloured as she remembered the raven-haired woman's intense passion and the way she'd used her fingers, tongue and her entire body to coax her to somewhat dizzying heights. Given that she was in an indulgent mood, Ashley was fervently hoping to have time for another round before they had to drag themselves back to reality.

Several minutes passed. Ashley grew colder and Miranda did not return from the bathroom. Eventually her eyes opened and she scanned the darkened room for a few moments. With barely a pause in her movements, the soldier suddenly lifted her body into a sitting position and swung her feet to the cold floor. Her foot locker was open when she clearly remembered closing it after retrieving her t-shirt and boxers. Knowing that Miranda could not possibly have gone far without her supervision, Ashley rose to her feet and hastily dressed herself in her uniform. All the while she refused to give any thought to the growing disquiet gnawing at her stomach.

The mess deck was oddly empty as Ashley passed on her way to the elevator. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and noticed that several crew members were being helped into the medbay. She could hear the strained tones of Dr Chakwas' voice whilst the door was open – clearly the Normandy's doctor was under a lot of stress.

"EDI, where is Miranda Lawson?" she demanded, pausing as she watched the medbay doors slide closed.

{Ms. Lawson is in the medbay,} EDI replied calmly. {Initial reports indicate that she has possible lacerations and a gunshot wound.}

"How the hell…" Ashley whispered as she broke into a run.

The medbay doors opened and admitted her into the midst of a scene of minor chaos. Most of the patients were walking wounded, but one who was immediately recognisable to Ashley lay on one of the beds. Miranda was unconscious and ghastly shade of white. The white t-shirt she wore was stained with blood. Chakwas was in the process of ripping it away from another wound in her side.

"Miranda!" Ashley pushed her way through to the bed as Chakwas glanced over her shoulder. "What the hell happened?" she asked in a horrified voice.

"Surely you mean to ask what the hell she did?" someone said in an angry voice.

Ashley turned to see a rather groggy looking Sarah Campbell trying to prop herself up against one of the beds. The object of her scathing tone was clearly Miranda. Bethany Westmoreland was lying beside her on the bed, still unconscious although she appeared to have no visible injuries.

"What do you mean?" Ashley demanded. She did not wait for an answer from the Private before turning her attention back to Chakwas. "Doc, what the hell happened to Miranda?"

Dr Chakwas merely shook her head. "You need to get out of here, Williams. Please let me treat my patients."

"I'm not leaving until someone explains how Miranda ended up with a gunshot wound whilst still on-board the bloody Normandy!" Ashley was trying to reach Miranda's side when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She ignored whoever it was as she grabbed Chakwas by her upper arm. "Doc?"

"That bloody Cerberus bitch went apeshit, that's what," Campbell said in an acidic voice. "She shot up four marines in the cargo bay and took the damn Catalyst before trying to force her way past Bethany and I. One of us shot her in self-defence. I told the Commander she ought to have been locked up."

Ashley's mouth worked soundlessly even as the firm hand on her shoulder attempted to drag her backwards and away from her lover. Her gaze settled back on Miranda's pale features and she realised that there was blood smeared across one cheek. If only she could get close enough to wipe it off. She began to struggle.

"Someone get Williams out of here!" Chakwas demanded in a cold voice. She softened slightly when she saw the desperate expression on the marine's face. "Ashley…you need to leave so I can treat my patients, especially Miranda. She's lost a lot of blood but she'll be fine if you'll just let me work."

With a dumbfounded nod, Ashley stopped resisting as she was removed from the medbay. She stood by the window for a few moments, but the looks thrown in her direction by Sarah Campbell and several of the other wounded marines were unsettling to say the least. Eventually she turned and started toward the elevator at a jog.

"That bloody Cerberus bitch went apeshit, that's what."

Although she didn't believe a word of what Campbell had said, Ashley felt her stomach protest with the dread horror of it all.

"EDI, I need Shepard!" she barked.

Unperturbed by Ashley's rude tone, EDI replied, {The Commander is currently in the War Room. Lieutenant-Commander Williams, I detect increased levels of stress in your voice. Can I be of assistance?}

The marine couldn't get into the elevator and slam her fist against the controls fast enough. A part of her knew that she could ask EDI to explain what had happened, but the thought of actually having to listen to her emotionless voice was too much.

When Ashley emerged from the elevator, the CIC was almost empty save for Specialist Traynor standing at her station. Everything looked normal until Ashley noticed that Traynor wasn't making any attempt to actually work. She was simply standing, frozen in front of her console.

"Traynor?" Ashley's tone was far harsher than she had intended and the Specialist almost jumped a metre into the air at the obviously unexpected voice behind her. When she turned to face the LC, she was clutching her chest as though terrified. "Sorry, do you know where Shep-" Ashley cut herself short when she realised that one side of Traynor's uniform was covered in blood. From the way she had moved so swiftly, it obviously was not her own. "Sam, what the hell happened? Are you okay?"

The other woman nodded quickly. "Yes, ma'am. The blood, it's not mine…"

It was then that Ashley noticed she held something small in one of her fists. She soon recognised the object they had retrieved from Alcyone. "Why have you got the Catalyst?"

The Specialist's lower lip trembled for a few moments and she was unable to meet Ashley's gaze. Impatient enough to ignore Sam's obviously fragile nerves, Ashley darted forward and seized the poor woman by both shoulders. Sam uttered a sharp shriek out of fright before calming herself. Although the expression on Ashley's face scared her, she soon realised that it was one of desperation as opposed to anger. "You should talk to Shepard," she managed to say.

Ashley shook her head. "I need answers now, Sam. What happened? Why is Miranda lying in the medbay with a gunshot wound?"

"She took the Catalyst from the cargo bay," Sam replied in a hasty tone. "Shepard wouldn't listen to her so she had to take it. Um…she kind of held a gun to my head to force her way through the security scan but Campbell and Westmoreland opened fire instead." As Sam explained, she watched the desperate look on Ashley's face change to be replaced by one that was altogether unfathomable. It was distinctly unnerving as Sam was so used to the tall woman wearing her emotions like a badge. "Miranda was hit and I helped her through into the War Room-"

"You helped?" Ashley interrupted. She had to fight from looking at what was obviously Miranda's blood on Sam's uniform. "You mean she wasn't holding a gun to your head at that point?"

Sam shook her head. "No…she couldn't, she was too weak. I think…I believed what she said about trying to help Shepard."

"You believed her after she shot her way through half a dozen armed marines?" Ashley asked in a frightening voice. "Did she kill anyone?"

"No…I don't think so. The Catalyst was driving her to do it, I don't think she had much control over what she was-" Sam tried to continue but soon became clear that Ashley was no longer paying any attention.

The marine stumbled backwards as though she was drunk or about to vomit. All colour had drained from her face. "The Catalyst was driving her to do it?" she whispered. She was supposed to be in my charge, I was accountable for her…all she needed to do was flash her damn tits and I lost it. At once Ashley felt as though her stomach was about to expel its contents. She needed somewhere to run, but short of fleeing back the way she had come, there was nowhere to go. Her fists were clenched into two white-knuckled balls at her sides. Eventually she snapped, driving one into the side of Shepard's terminal.

"That fucking, two-faced bitch!" she hissed as a horrified Sam Traynor watched. Ashley studied her reddened knuckles but realised she felt no physical pain. Oh god, I told her I loved her, Ashley thought as the room started spinning.

"Ma'am...Ashley...you might want to sit down for a bit," Sam suggested in a quiet voice. "Shepard's called a full squad briefing in the War Room. I think she might be planning something pretty big."

The Specialist's words only dimly registered as Ashley lowered her body to the steps at the base of the Galaxy Map. She sat heavily, the same words stuck on repeat in her head - I told her I loved her.

As soon as Shepard's briefing came to a close, Ash left the War Room feeling as though she had been stripped and flayed alive. In less than an hour the marine had learned that her indoctrinated lover had been using her and her best friend was going to have to sacrifice herself to defeat the Reapers. She almost vomited at the spatters of Miranda's blood still staining the floor in the security alcove as she passed through. Breaking into a run, she escaped into the solitude of the elevator. As soon as she slammed her fist into the mechanism, she collapsed against the wall. She instinctively folded her arms firmly across her chest in an effort to keep her entire body from trembling with a combination of rage and devastation.

The doors had almost closed when Shepard interrupted their closing movement and slipped inside. When faced with the Commander's concerned expression, Ashley struggled to compose herself. From the look on Shepard's face it was obvious that she thought she was heading down to the medbay to confront Miranda. The thought had crossed Ashley's mind, but she knew it was useless to rant at an unconscious woman.

"LC, she's sedated, it's not going to help-"

"I'm not going to the medbay if that's what you're trying to say," Ash interrupted in a purposefully curt voice. "I've got gear to sort out…provided you still want me on the mission to Intai'sei?"

"You know I do-"

"For the love of God, don't pity me, Shepard! You placed her under my watch." Ash stabbed herself hard in the chest with her finger. "And I let the bitch walk right out from under my nose. All it took was one quick fuck. You want to know what really takes the cake? I told her I loved her…some Spectre, huh?"

"Loving someone doesn't make you any less of a soldier, Ash," Shepard replied in a damnably soft voice. "Miranda's indoctrination had nothing to do with her feelings for you. They were…they are her own."

Just because you're going to sacrifice yourself to save Liara, doesn't make you the authority on everything to do with love, Ashley thought. She couldn't bring herself to give voice to the harsh thought. When she could no longer face Shepard without feeling as though she was going to break down, she moved to stand directly in front of the door as she continued, "You're asking me to trust your decision to give the Catalyst to Cerberus, and your decision to use yourself as the missing piece of the Crucible…well I trust you, Shepard." Ashley sighed with relief when the damn door finally opened. She stepped outside and turned to face Shepard only as it was closing. "But I cannot trust her."

"Ash, for fuck's sake!"

Ashley was immensely grateful that Shepard remained in the elevator. Had the Commander followed her out into the armoury, she knew she would have broken down in spectacular fashion. You're not crying over that bitch, Ash, she reminded herself. A Williams never cries. She managed to compose herself as she crossed to the weapons lockers that lined the wall. She tapped in the combination on the one marked LC Williams and swung it open. After a brief moment's hesitation, she selected both her Valkyrie and Black Widow. With a firm grip on both the assault and sniper rifles, Ash carried them to James Vega's workstation. The bench was still covered with the detritus of the Lieutenant's work. Before the mission to Alcyone, Vega had explained to Ashley how he'd been attempting to modify an M-96 Mattock to make it fully automatic along the lines of Shepard's Harrier. The assault rifle lay on the bench with its firing mechanism stripped out. Ashley hesitated, wondering whether it would be wrong to just invite herself to use James's space. Eventually she placed her own weapons down and moved the Mattock to one side. Damn you, James, you should have been here to stop me sleeping with that bitch. You could have talked some sense into me.

She was in the midst of stripping out the Valkyrie's extended barrel mod to replace it with a high-velocity barrel when she heard footsteps on the deck. Ash glanced up to see Lieutenant Steve Cortez walking across the shuttle bay toward her. The quiet, unassuming shuttle pilot gave her a friendly nod of greeting. His expression however was sombre. His best friend on the ship had died on the deck of his shuttle less than twelve hours earlier.

"How's it, LC?"

"FUBAR," Ashley replied. It was a simple, all-encompassing reference that summed up her state of mind perfectly. Fucked up beyond all recognition. She didn't know what to believe any longer.

Steve nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah…FUBAR. Who'd have thought that the Commander would end up being the Catalyst. Words can't describe…well, if I was half the soldier she is, then maybe I'd be able to find the strength to make the decisions she makes on a daily basis."

"Yeah…I know exactly what you mean, Cortez," she replied in a dull voice. Shepard was going to die, and she was struggling not to cry over a damn woman.

Ashley suddenly felt something burning behind her eyeballs. It was made worse when the Lieutenant cast his gaze across the shuttle bay in the direction of the pod that contained James's body. She knew that she ought to ask Cortez how he was feeling in the wake of everything that had happened, but she knew that if she opened her mouth again she would embarrass herself with tears…and a Williams did not cry.

"Well, let me know if you need anything," Cortez offered with a nod toward the bench.

Ashley merely nodded in reply as she busied herself with the mod in front of her. Only when Cortez had disappeared from sight, did she admit that her fingers were trembling too violently for her to continue working. She dropped the mod to the bench and turned away to face the wall behind her as her eyes continued to burn. A Williams doesn't cry, she told herself sternly as she rubbed at them savagely.

Although she fought the burn for as long as she could, Ashley eventually pressed her forearm against the wall. Almost as soon as she buried her face in her sleeve, the sobs started. She tried to stifle them by biting on her sleeve, but they were so violent they shook her entire body. She tried to tell remind herself once again of the old mantra that a Williams didn't cry, but she was so far past caring that it no longer mattered.