Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica

For the readers of this story, I'm sorry it took this long to update. This is kinda like a transition chapter so I had difficulty in deciding whether this is enough or not. I actually wrote this two weeks ago… Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

Haruhiko stared intently at the brown-haired teen in front of him. They were sitting inside a family diner. It was his first time at a place like that. He heard once that it was fun to eat at family diners since you get to see a lot of people eating happily. But, after hearing what the teen had said, he failed to notice the happy aura of the place. Throughout the whole conversation, the teen didn't look at him. He was just looking down at his parfait or at the table or outside. He looked anywhere but his eyes.

Haruhiko heaved a sigh before asking, "Why?" His gaze was still fixed at the boy.

"Ah… I-it's because…" Misaki's voice trembled. He was obviously holding something in, Haruhiko thought.

"Haruhiko-san, y-you know how you s-said b-before… that soon I'd get tired of A-Akihiko-san… I mean, I really do have to put up with everything he does…" His voice trailed. "I… I think… this is my chance… to get away from h-him… without worrying t-that I might be… hurting him…" He then laughed nervously. "I mean, he doesn't remember me now! Isn't it convenient that we go our separate ways?"

"You're lying." The boy returned his gaze with wide eyes. It was his turn to look away. "You're going away because of your condition." A long silence between the two of them followed. It was then that he had noticed the noise that surrounded them - the clank of spoons and forks against plates, the endless chatter of people around them, the laugh of kids running around.

"Haruhiko-san," it was Misaki who broke the silence. His eyes were glazed with unshed tears. "Akihiko-san will have no use of someone like me. Years from now, I'll be nothing but a useless blind man." There was no response from the older man. He wasn't really sure of what to say, so he decided not to talk.

There was another yet long silence before Misaki continued, "You know how my parents died in a car accident, right?"

Haruhiko winced as he felt the pain in the teen's voice. Of course he knew about it. He had researched well on Misaki's life before. But, hearing the story from the boy himself made him understand how painful the incident had been.

"It was my fault why they died."

"It wasn't your-"

"Maybe not directly…" Misaki gave a weak smile. "A lot of people had said that to me. That's why I never told them how I feel. But, please don't say it to make me feel better. I had been thinking about it since I was a kid. If I didn't tell them to go home fast, they wouldn't have sped up the highway on that rainy night… They should've been alive 'til now. Niichan would have never had to give up his studies just to raise me up. I promised myself I'd never be a trouble to anyone… especially to the people I loved most…"

"I – I would just be a burden for Akihiko-san if I'd stay with him…"

Haruhiko was left speechless. He never knew how to console someone in pain. He never received warmth from anyone before except from Misaki. So he didn't know what to say. So he did the only thing he could do. He held the teen's hand that was resting on the table tightly.

"Where," he cleared the lump that started to form in his throat. "Where will you stay then?"

"At my brother's…" Misaki feigned a cheerful voice. "We've already talked about it… I've told him everything…"

Seeing Misaki in so much pain, Haruhiko wanted to punch his brother for having amnesia. He had given up on Misaki just to give way for their happiness. But he felt like his brother had screwed up everything by forgetting his past. At that moment, he wished once again that he was Misaki's love. He wished he could protect him from all the pain. But, he couldn't do it. He knew of only one person who could make Misaki happy. It was Akihiko. The least he could've done is made sure they end up together happy. Assessing the situation, he figured he couldn't do anything.

"My father won't agree with this…" he mumbled. "He has already entrusted Akihiko to you…"

"I know… and I know that my decision is a fruit of my cowardice… But, Haruhiko-san, I'd rather be a coward than be a burden for Akihiko-san… He doesn't remember anything from his past…" the teen felt pain in his chest as he said this. "He could have a fresh start. All the pain he had felt is now erased. He won't be needing me anymore."

"What if he remembers?"

"If he remembers, then… I'll have to go as far as I can so he won't be able to reach me." The teen stared back at Haruhiko with his eyes full of conviction. "Haruhiko-san, this is what's best for us. I might be asking for too much. But, could you please help me with this?"

Against his will he said, "I'll help you move your things tomorrow if that's what you really want."

…

Misaki took all his things from Akihiko's condo - his clothes, his books, Akihiko's gifts for him, even their pictures. He made sure that there wasn't anything that might remind his lover of his existence. Before he left, he had asked Haruhiko to take care of the marimos and eels. The latter promised that he would take care of everything.

Misaki never showed up at the hospital again. He got news about Akihiko through either Haruhiko or news on television. There wasn't any information about him having amnesia. A year after Akihiko's recovery, he first appeared in public through a press conference. In another year, he was back to writing books.

With all those years, Misaki didn't really stay far. He would just watch from a distance. Every gathering, affair, or book signing that Akihiko attended, he was present. But, he made sure that the man will not see him. It had hurt to witness Akihiko moving on while he was left with the past. But, he wanted to make most out of the time that he could see the writer. He wanted to see his smiles, his lavender eyes, his graceful movements, even just from afar, until he could no longer see.

Almost every day, after school and even when he graduated from the university and got a job, he would go to the condo. He never went inside. Most of the time, he would just stand outside the door, stare at it, and wish that its landlord would come out and hug him. Of course, it never happened. The condo remained empty because Akihiko never returned. He had stayed in the Usami mansion as what Haruhiko had told him.

One day, Takahiro told him that they will move to Osaka. With that, he decided to see Akihiko for the last time. He went to the book signing for the latter's most recent book. Just like before, he watched from afar. Fans started squealing when a beautiful woman approached the handsome writer. The woman was Natsumi – his rumored fiancée.

Misaki was hurt at what he saw. Akihiko had smiled at her the way he used to smile at him. It was genuine and warm. He couldn't stand the sight of them smiling and flirting with each other, whispering words that he will never know what. He ran away from the place without looking back.

After hours of wandering in the streets, he found himself, once again, in front of Akihiko's condo. He went in knowing that it was the last time that he would ever see the place. Inside, he wept with his face buried at the giant bear's chest. He fell asleep not knowing that the lord of the place is on his way to the top floor.