"All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery

as they steal your best memories away."

-Rachael Yamagata / Quiet

chapter 4: attempt

Nicky awoke several hours later to a sore neck and a faint, distinct, uniquely Morello-ish scent hovering around her. Morello had a light, perfumey scent that clung to her skin, probably from cheap perfume she'd asked Red to smuggle in all the time.

She inhaled gently, wondering if she was hallucinating. Nicky sat up and stretched, her arms extending as long as they could. She yawned, her fingers absently drumming against her thigh. She'd gotten quite jittery, or simply just restless, ever since her stint in max.

"Yo, you finally awake?" Poussey asked, walking over to Nicky. "Yeah. How long was I asleep?" She mumbled sleepily, getting to her feet.

"Like 10 years!" She said sarcastically, walking into her view, unceremoniously dumping a massive pile of battered books onto a table.

"Girl, you really need to get your shit together! I don't care if you just got back from max or whatever, you still gotta work!" Poussey said irritably, her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry." Nicky said apologetically, rubbing the back of her neck. Poussey softened. "Y'know, while you were asleep, your friend came by. What's her name, uh-" She paused.

"The little tiny-ass white girl." She continued, frowning. "Morello!" Poussey suddenly exclaimed, snapping her fingers. Nicky seemed to perk up. "Morello?" She repeated, almost afraid to hope.

"Yeah. Sittin' here touchin' your hair and shit. And singin' too." Poussey said, smiling at the orange-clad inmate. Nicky's smile faded. "Damn, her voice was off-key." She said to no one in particular.

"Hey, she over there if you wanna talk to her." The black girl pointed towards the other end of the library, where a figure lay slumped on a table, asleep.

"Doesn't she have a job to do?" Nicky asked. Poussey shrugged. "She left for a bit earlier, then came back. I think she's still on cleaning duty." She said. Nicky thanked her, and walked over to look for Morello.

The tiny girl was asleep, her head resting on her arms. Her expression was peaceful, her closed eyelids as though separating Morello from dreams and reality. Nicky smiled a little sadly, kissed her on the top of her dark hair, and left.

"I'm gonna reshelve these and then I'm gonna leave, alright?" Nicky said, pointing at a messy stack of books. Poussey nodded, and Nicky set to work while Morello slept.

The first thing Morello felt was pins and needles, all over her arm. Slowly she got up, blinking and pushing locks of dark hair out of her face.

"Maybe I shouldn't've slept on my arm." Morello mumbled, rubbing her arm to try to get rid of the tingly pins-and-needles sensation.

"Yo, you finally up?" Poussey flumped onto a chair by Morello's side. The tiny girl yawned. "What time is it?" She asked. "Time for you to go! We shuttin' down." Poussey said. "Where's Nicky?" Morello asked, looking around wildly.

"She left a while ago. You should hurry up, if you wanna get your girl." Poussey gave Morello a knowing look and a smile, which she obviously missed.

"Right. Thank you!" Morello smiled, gave her a little wave, and skipped out of the library.

"Nicky!" Morello finally caught up to her at dinner, running up to her and catching her in a sudden hug. "Inmate! No touching!" A random officer snarled. Morello released her instantly.

"I gotta talk to you." She said, her wide dark eyes pleading with Nicky. "Yeah?" Nicky answered. She turned to face Morello.

She looked less tired now, physically at least. Her hair was still choppy and unkempt, but her pale skin had regained a light, healthy glow. Her eyes, however, were still as hollow as ever, their dark brown colour flat and cold. They looked like dark, unlimited voids; like tunnels without an end.

"How about we go see the movie tonight together? Or go for a walk tomorrow, or play some cards, or..." Morello babbled earnestly, in hopes of convincing Nicky to spend time with her. For a moment she thought she'd say no.

"Alright. I'll see you at the movie later, maybe." Nicky smiled tiredly, the gesture not reaching her eyes. She slunk off.

"It's a start." Morello smiled at her retreating back.

Later that night, Morello went to the movie early, grabbing good seats for herself and Nicky.

She didn't show up.