A/N: I'd just like to thank those of you who have stuck with me from the beginning and welcome those who have just started to read. It means so much to me and I cannot express how much it means to me. Thank you.
Just as a warning for this chapter, it is rather dark but it is vital to Charlie's background.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own glee.
As they strolled into the park, Charlie noticed one of Alicia's friends. Bending down, she whispered in her daughter's ear. "Look who it is sweetie." She pointed over to Alicia's friend, Benjamin Niles. The two of them had been best friends since nursery.
With a pure expression of glee on her face, Alicia ran over to Benjamin, gave him the biggest hug she could muster up and the two went off to play with matching shy smiles and rosy cheeks.
Smiling at her daughter's antics, Charlie turned to face Rachel. It was now or never. If she didn't tell her now, she wouldn't ever be able to. "I suppose now's the time to tell you the reasoning for my leaving."
Rachel looked into Charlie's eyes. There was an air of fear in them. It was like the past held some dark memories. Memories that would be enough to bring someone to tears. Memories that would haunt a person for the rest of their life. Now she wasn't too sure if she really wanted to know of Charlie's past. Rachel swallowed the lump that lay in her throat and managed to let out "Only if you want to say"
Charlie really didn't want to say. She didn't want to but she had to. Letting out a breath she didn't realise she was holding, she guided Rachel over to a bench. "Just please don't judge me."
Rachel saw the pleading look in Charlie's eyes, solemnly nodded and waited for Charlie to continue.
"I think it's best to start at the beginning." Great choice of words there Charlie. Now you just have the voice of Julie Andrews circling around your mind about starting at the beginning because it's a very good place to start. Charlie thought. She shook her head trying to get all the nonsense out of her head. "As you know, at school I wasn't exactly the happiest person to be around. There was a reason for that though. The same reason that meant I wasn't allowed friends around. From a young age, my family wasn't really what you would call normal. My dad drank… a lot. As a child, I thought he would just be drinking water. It was vodka. As I got older, I realised what he was doing. I let it show that I knew what he was doing. I'd try to change his drinks for healthier options. That was a bad move. He picked up on what I was doing and soon taught me that what I was doing was wrong. Perhaps it wasn't the correct way to teach a child that they had done something wrong. Nevertheless, it happened. Now I have my own daughter, I realise that I could never do to her what she did to me. I would have to read the Bible as he struck me. He called himself a religious man. He was a monster." Charlie's voice cracked.
Charlie and Rachel sat on the bench for a few minutes as they waited for Charlie to collect herself and begin again. It was really hard for her. She hadn't heard from, spoke of or thought of her parents for a long while. This was just bringing back such painful memories for her that she was thinking about stopping there and then, not telling Rachel anything else. But she couldn't do that. She had started and now she needed to finish. She turned towards Rachel and saw the tears that stained her cheeks. She wanted to lift her hand and wipe away the tears but it was too early.
Taking another deep breath, Charlie continued. "And my mum, she was a coward. She never stopped him. She just stood in the shadows pretending that she hadn't seen anything.
Just before graduation, I had an argument with my parents and ran away. I lived with Santana until it was time for me to move to New Haven and start university life."
*Flashback*
"Dad, Dad? Can you hear me? I know you're listening." Quinn felt that these were the hardest words she had ever said. What she was going to say would change her life forever but she needed to do this. She'd be even worse off if she kept this inside, so taking a deep breath, she bravely carried on. "You can't do this anymore. Go out, get a job. Do you know how hard it is for me to look after this family while you sit in a corner, with a drink in your hand, and no awareness of the life around you? H-how am I meant to look after mum when you've beaten me?" She was beginning to crack now but she kept her words as loud and clear as she could manage before her voice gave her feelings away "None of the teachers give a damn either. They don't worry about me, or even ask if I'm okay. You are supposed to be my father, I'm supposed to be able to trust you and look up to you but you just... You seem to not care dad. Ever since I realised you were drinking, I've had to look after myself." Quinn's eyes were beginning to well up; it was like her eyes held the flowing water of a dam that was ready to burst. Despite this, she bravely held them back, knowing that if she surrendered to her body then Russell would see how weak she felt and take advantage. She carried on her long winded speech still trying to catch her father's unwilling attention. "I can't do this anymore. I look at you and I'm ashamed to call you my father." With these words she took one last look at her father and soaked in the picture. Russell's sunken eyes looked even worse in the poor lighting and his skin was hanging from his cheeks in an unhealthy fashion. His skin was tainted yellow and his greasy hair, left limp and lifeless down the sides of his face. "I'm leaving tomorrow. As of now you are NOT my father!" She turned, not wanting to see his father's reaction, knowing it would make her decision to leave that much harder. "I'll be packing my stuff if you want me, Russell." She spat his name out as venomously as she could.
*End Flashback*
"After graduation, as you know, I moved to New Haven and Started my first year at Yale. From there on, I hoped my life would improve. So I could have a somewhat normal life. That'll probably never happen. You see, I had a friend at Yale. He was called Eric. Eric Doyle. We became quite close. Sooner than I expected, I fully trusted him. That was strange. Since I had left my parents, I had made a vow never to trust anyone. That seemed hopeless though. How was I supposed to properly live if I never trusted anyone? So we told each other all about ourselves. Then I told him what I had never told anyone before." Charlie looked up into Rachel's eyes and saw that they were filled with kindness and trust.
"I told him something that had been an internal battle in my mind for as long as I could remember. I trusted him. So I told him I was a lesbian." Charlie stopped, attempting to hold back her tears. It was no use. They rolled down her cheeks, blurring her vision.
Rachel laid a comforting hand on Charlie's back. She had no idea what Charlie was going through. She felt terrible that she hadn't realised what was going on. She respectfully waited in silence though, so that Charlie could carry on. "He came up to me and gave me a hug. I thought he was comforting me but it was quite the opposite. I thought I could trust him so I leant into his body ready for the much needed comfort. Instead, all I got was his whispered words in my ear. 'You dyke. I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. Get this into your head, you're not gay. I know one when I see one. Let me show you that you are straight.' I felt a bulge in his crotch area digging into my side. I wasn't prepared for what happened next… I'm sorry. He- I can't say. I'm just- I'm not ready to tell anyone yet. Though you can probably guess"
Taking another shaky breath, Charlie just about managed to keep talking. "The n-next thing I rememb-ber is waking up on the floor of m-my dorm room without any clothes. My b-body was covered in b-bruises from w-where his hands were. I remember walking out, clad in my sweat pants and woollen jumper. I opened the d-door to the common room. E-Everyone was staring at me, th-their lips c-curled up in c-cruel smiles. I c-could tell th-that they kn-knew. It was so humiliating. For th-the next week, I stayed i-in my dorm room a-and refused to c-come outside. After an-n-nother few weeks, I t-took a pregnancy test. I-it was p-positive. So, I r-ran away. A-again."
Now, Charlie was suffering. She was coughing up tears and she could barely breathe. Rachel wrapped a caring arm around Charlie's waist and pulled her into a comforting hug. Her other hand held Charlie's own and ran her thumb over Charlie's remarkably soft skin. It was another five minutes before Charlie was ready to talk again.
"I took out all my university savings, booked a flight to London and bought a small apartment. I got myself a job working at the local photography studio and was given a new camera. At the job interview, when they asked my name, I told them 'Charlie'. It was the first name that came into my head. It was easier with a different name. I could start a new page and Quinn was just in my history. I wasn't Quinn anymore, I was Charlie. With the new name, I felt more secure. With the name change, If he ever came looking for me, Eric wouldn't be able to find me. After eight months, Alicia was born. I didn't have the heart to have an abortion nor give her up. It was such a relief that she looked nothing like him." Charlie looked over to Alicia, smiling at how happy her daughter looked with Cory. They were so cute together. "Anyway, after Alicia was born, I worked hard and now I own the photography studio. Blocking out the first twenty years of my life, aside from glee, my life is perfect and I wouldn't want to change it."
Charlie sniffled and let one final tear fall down her cheek before wiping them away and smiling. Really, thinking about it, after all the bad happenings in her life, now, her life was all she could wish it to be. She had a beautiful daughter, Alicia and she was about to have another chance to have a friendship with Rachel.
Charlie looked up into Rachel's eyes once again and silently told Rachel that it was okay for her to speak.
"Charlie, that was the most heart-wrenching life story, I've ever heard in my entire life. Just do one thing for me, never change. I'm going to tell you something right now. How that man could ever do something like that to you, I don't know. All I can say is that I promise to never leave you on your own. If you ever need any help then I'm here. No matter how small it is, let me know. Don't hesitate to ask, I honestly don't mind." Rachel decided to steer the conversation in a more positive direction. "I'm guessing you're drained now." Upon receiving a nod from Charlie, Rachel carried on speaking. "Well then. How about you, me and Alicia go back to mine for a bit. We can have some much needed fun and I have plenty of musicals we can watch. No, don't look at me like that. I know you're a closeted musical boffin. Let's go." Winking at Charlie, Rachel ran up to catch Alicia and put her on her shoulders.
Alicia waved her goodbyes to Benjamin and the three of them left to go to Rachel's.
A/N: I hope it wasn't too dark for you and it was written well enough for you to follow. I noticed that it has been picked up on that my English vocabulary isn't the same as what is used by other English speaking countries so if you don't know what a word means, feel free to ask :)
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