A/N: Hey people… I'm sorry, I wanted to post it yesterday, but I was soooo exhausted that I couldn't… But my exams for this semester are over! Yupee :o) Ehm, hopefully you won't bite my head off after reading this chapter :o) So enjoy and forgive me for my mistakes ;o)

During the afternoon Jack was able to make Carter laugh many times. Sometimes she was almost crying. But she couldn't help it. Seeing him playing with the kids, doing things from the play-doh, making LEGO castles and then finding ways how to bring them down, she just couldn't help herself. Those kids loved him and he was no soldier with black past anymore, he was just a man. She knew that it wasn't possible but she would swear that she started to care about him even more now.

The evening came quickly. After several hours of playing games, drawing, singing silly songs and talking, all those kids were pretty tired. O'Neill could hardly believe that there actually was a system in everything here. Well, yeah, of course they needed it… but it was usually hard to manage one kid… not to talk about more.

He stayed there with Carter and those nurses. They helped the youngest ones with the dinner and then even with the bath time. Boys were excited about him. Usually there was a nurse there so having a man with them was amazing! Besides he was a General, real General! And he was cool. Well he was nearly soaked through afterwards but he had fun.

When Carter saw him she had to suppress a chuckle. What a soldier he had been… But she saw those boys and … she knew exactly what had been going on.

The bedtime came then. Kids were sleeping in two big rooms. The smallest ones were sleeping separately. They had cribs and toddler beds there. They were usually up several times during the night so it was just a precaution. There was no need to disturb the older ones. Besides the staff here couldn't remember a night without some kid waking up because of some nightmare.

They didn't want to hear a story though. They just wanted to go to sleep. They claimed to be big enough to go to sleep without a story. But the group with small kids was different. They were all so tired but so happy to have visitors that they wanted to hear a story. Carter knew that half of them would be asleep in a minute but she couldn't care less. If telling them a story would make them happy at least for a moment, she would do it. It was worth it.

One of the girls reached out for her. She was being a bit sick. She could stay here among others though. She was taking good care of her. It was like having Cassandra there all over again. O'Neill's heart was filled with compassion and care. He wouldn't allow anybody to see this side of him, never. But with Carter it was different. She had her two sides as well. She could understand those kids, she knew how it felt, to lose a parent. And she could understand him as well, actually she could read him like an open book. He should feel vulnerable and afraid but he was pretty okay.

And Janet? She wouldn't dare to say a thing. She had no family, she'd been through the system of foster care and everything… and she had adopted an orphan. Maybe she would be looking at him from a bit different point of view… but that didn't matter. He trusted her with his life and what more, with lives of his people. That was pretty enough to make him sure that his secrets would be safe with her.

He sat down to one armchair. Adel reminded him his promise about telling them a story about Princess Cassandra. Sam chuckled at that comment. That would be surely interesting. Even Janet slipped into the room to see another miracle taking place. General O'Neill telling a bedtime story to bunch of little kids. But they both had witnessed it before, with Cassandra. And it was something worth remembering.

Adel was sitting on O'Neill's lap, resting against his chest. She was supposed to be in bed, yeah. But about an hour ago, she started to cry. Janet couldn't figure out the reason. But it was simple. She liked Jack and she didn't want him to go. He knew that kids could create bonds pretty fast, but this was a bit too much even for those miraculous cases.

Fraiser told him about Adel's fate. Her mother died in a car-crash when she was about six months old. Her father was taking good care of her but then he died on a mission. It was just a month ago. She had no family left and she was placed here because her father was a marine living here in Colorado Springs. She didn't tell him her surname and she didn't mention anything else about the kid's father… but she was sure that he would try to find out anyway.

But maybe that wouldn't be that bad. She wasn't sure. She couldn't tell…

Anyway, Jack understood that the kid was still in shock, dealing with something horrible. She didn't miss her mom because she couldn't remember her. But she was missing her father terribly. He knew that he shouldn't appear in her life and became the father figure… but he could be the Uncle, right? He would have to talk to Fraiser about this and do some research later. For now he just held Adel in his arms, slowly getting ready to deal with the consequences later.

Carter was watching him, he could feel it. The day would be over soon… and they would have to deal with it. Or ignore it… he wasn't sure yet about that part.

It was so easy to imagine how their live would look like. Having her so close, talking to her, making her laugh and blush, being able to touch her and make her happy… and then sit with her in the evening on the couch, holding her, caressing her skin… then he would just take her to bed, tug her in and join her. He has already realized that there's been nothing better than falling asleep with her in his arms. Oh maybe one thing… waking up with her by his side. She always had that cute expression on her face in the morning…

Yeah, it had some benefits being out on a mission, sleeping in a tent or by the fire. When they had to share a tent, he would share it with her. Daniel had never mentioned it. The first time he felt a bit bad though. But then he heard them talk. They both were suffering because of what they had done earlier. Some nightmares could appear… at first he felt offended, he was sure that he would be able to help. But then he realized how wrong he had been. He could have held his friends, talk to them, try to make them forget… but there was no chance for him to truly understand. But they were able to understand each other.

Besides both were trying pretty hard to be tough. There was this silent agreement between them since the beginning. No talking about nightmares, no questions, no consequences. If one of them wanted to talk, there was that choice of course but there would be no forcing to deal with those bad dreams and long forgotten memories.

Daniel didn't get that in the beginning. Sam had woken up beside him, tears in her eyes, ragged breathing. He tried to sooth her, calm her down, help her to deal with it. But she left the tent and he couldn't understand. While having a nightmare one of his friends was usually there to help him, to talk him out of it. Why it should be different with them?

O'Neill was being on watch that night. He stopped him from following her. Daniel was pretty angry because of that. But Jacked tried to explain it to him. Those nightmares would never go away. They couldn't. It was their way how to deal with it. They had to live with them and there was nothing to do to change that. But those dreams were reminders of … what had been done. Having them was like being assured that they still had their hearts and souls. Maybe torn apart a bit, but still there…

Daniel understood. He apologized and made Sam uncomfortable again. But she was able to understand and forgive him and they talked about it. And since then he had become a part of that silent agreement.

Jack was grateful for a friend like Daniel was.

And besides he had begun to appreciate the chance to be so close to Carter. Her presence was helping a bit. And once she has assured him that his presence was most welcomed as well.

Oh yeah, he could imagine going to sleep and waking up with her every single day for the rest of his life.

He smiled at her and she smiled back. That was all he needed to know that things were just okay.

It took him only a minute to figure out a story about Cassandra. Actually he told them the real version, a bit edited, yeah… but still. How noble night with his friend, a magician, found a little Princess Cassandra. He told them about her illness and that there was a big dragon out there and that evil people wanted to give him the Princess. He told them about one great doctor that tried to save the Princess but she couldn't do it… She wasn't powerful enough. He told them about the magicians' powers. She was a great magician after all. She found a cave where she could heal the Princess. And that saved her from the dragon as well.

Carter was giggling, smiling and almost crying most of the time. There was no chance that this could really be happening. She could picture him sitting with his kid in the room, telling him stories and then tugging him in. There were sides of Jack O'Neill she hadn't seen yet. She knew… but there would be no better than this one. Seeing him that vulnerable and with his arms wide open was amazing.

She saw Janet slipping away from that room with tears on her face but still smiling. Yeah, those kids could do that to you. And actually, Jack could too.

It was priceless to see his face when one of the girls asked 'Did the knight like the magician?'. He looked at her. That was a dangerous territory and they both knew that. But he said 'yeah, he liked her very much.' Then one girl asked Carter if the magician liked the knight as well. And she said 'yes, she loved him very much.' Those kids were too young to understand, to pick up on those hints – thank God. O'Neill was sure that those older ones would have some comments about this. But thankfully these were just happy about a fairy tale.

Jack put Adel in bed, tugged her in and then gave her a kiss on her forehead. He shouldn't be creating any bond with her but this couldn't hurt, right? She was already asleep anyway.

Carter slowly slipped from the girl's bed, letting her sleep.

They closed the door behind themselves. It was quiet in the hallway.

O'Neill was looking at her, wanting to ask, to tell her things… but she just told him not to say a single thing. She took his hand and led him away.

On their way she stopped by the nurse's station to let her know that the kids were sleeping peacefully. At least for now.

There was a garden behind the building. Carter took him there. There was a bench out there so they sat down. She wanted to keep her distance at first… but in the end she just couldn't resist it. And he let her come closer and lean against his side. From one point of view this was pretty dangerous because the proximity… could cause certain reactions. But from another point of view this was safe because there would be no eye contact. And that kind of contact could be even more dangerous than some stolen touches.

They were silent for a long time. She just couldn't destroy the moment by saying something stupid. It was so rare to see him like this and being alone with him.

He started to caress her arm slowly, not even paying attention to his actions.

"How did you find this place, Carter?"

"After one mission I felt… down, Sir. And I spent some time with Cass and it really helped me. You know, seeing the world from a different perspective."

"Yeah, I know what you mean by that…"

"I talked to Janet about it… and she mentioned this place. When we didn't know about Cassandra's fate, she started doing a research about Children's home. She wanted to be sure that Cass would be happy and safe."

"So then she started to help around here…"

"Yes, Sir. And then she took me here and I fell in love with this place. It helps me to stay sane with the job description we have. Especially while being on a medical leave or when I'm not allowed in my lab or to ride my bike…"

She could feel him laugh. Oh yeah, he knew her… It was always killing him when he had to do those things to her.

"And the wall?"

"I have always wanted to be allowed to draw on the wall when I was young. And now there is that chance you know… these chalks walls are perfect."

"Yeah, I could see."

"And they don't know that I'm gonna bring something even better next time."

She sounded so proud of herself.

"Something up in your sleeve, Carter?"

He was amused. This woman… was always full of surprises. Life with her would never be boring, would it? Oh… that was a dangerous territory… shouldn't be thinking like that – oh yeah he knew.

"Colors that you can use to draw in the bathroom, on the bath, sink, tiles… and then simple wash them away… so no damage done."

He laughed again. And this time he bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"These kids love you already… you're amazing."

She couldn't believe he has actually said that. Well, neither could he. After another minute of quiet cuddling O'Neill had to ask finally.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Sir…"

"Come on, Sam, just spill it. I'm just curious."

She dared to look at him. Their gazes locked and neither could move away.

"These kids see the world differently. They are all innocent and pure, enjoying every single thing, every minute. They all have their sad stories to tell you, memories of loved ones that are gone… and yet they can get up every morning smiling and excited about the other day."

"Carter…"

"Sir?"

"The reason…?"

Oh so he noticed that she was just dancing around. Could she really tell him? The answer was there, in his eyes. The pure honesty and trust… Oh she was so screwed.

"I could see it in your eyes, Sir."

"What?"

"The need you know… I could see it. I could tell that you were missing having kids around, their laughter and innocence."

"Carter…"

"No, Sir. I know how that feels, okay? Well, yeah, you know how it feels to be a father and I have no idea… and I never will… but that feeling of something missing in your life? I know that."

He found out a long ago that she would probably never get pregnant. After being hurt several times, being Tok'Ra and who knows what else… there was this huge probability of never becoming a mother of her own child. He felt really sorry for her.

"Miracles can happen, Carter."

"What?"

"You never know… just… don't give up, okay? Maybe something will change and you will be able to become a mom. And by the way, you will be the best one ever."

"You know, Sir?"

"Yeah… And don't worry, Fraiser didn't say a thing. And I might be a bit dense sometimes… but I'm not stupid. I can understand some things, see some things, even figure something out time by time."

She suddenly felt vulnerable. Almost like being naked in front of him. He could read her way too well. But… that this would mean that he could still… care. She wasn't sure about how to handle this situation. These open conversations between them… they were killing her. They had to be careful and yet they could be… themselves. Oh, at least a bit more than on the base.

"So…" Her voice was full of emotions, she was about to cry soon.

"So I wanted to show you this place because I thought that you might be missing kids in your life… just like me."

He was silent. She would really appreciate a word or two. But she could understand that it had been too much on him. Maybe she had overstepped the line after all. She didn't know. She ducked her head and wanted to leave but she didn't get a chance to do so.

O'Neill held her. He put his hand onto her face and brought her back up to look into her eyes. There were tears glistering there. She felt so unsure of herself. He could hardly believe it. She always seemed to be so confident and now… but he had seen this before. There were times when she stopped being … Carter. She has become just Samantha then…

"Sir, I'm sorry… Maybe I shouldn't have…"

He didn't give her a chance to finish. He looked directly into her eyes and she would swear that he could see a part of her soul there. And then he slowly, oh so slowly, kiss her on the forehead. She started to cry. Damn hormones… damn emotions.

But he didn't stop. He allowed himself a moment of being a man with a woman he loved. He kissed her cheek and her nose and then he felt her nod against his palm. She gave him the most needed permission to do more.

He kissed her on the lips. Gently, no pressure, no passion, just pure love, compassion, affection and care. He managed to wipe away her tears while gently nibbling on her lip. She smiled. And cursed her hormones again… sometimes it was like being on a roller-coaster. Just up and down and up and down and all of that way too fast… She kissed him back.

It was so hard to remain calm. It was almost impossible. They both wanted more, so much more. But even this slow, gentle kiss full of love would be hunting them forever. They couldn't have more.

She was so close to him, almost sitting on his lap. There was no space between them. She still had some tears on her face. He was whispering something soothing to her, just trying to let her know that he was there… with her… no matter what.

After a while he felt her relax a bit.

"I wish I could silence you like this every single time…"

That made her laugh. She nuzzled his neck with her nose and gave him a kiss. He had to remind himself that he should be the responsible here… but how was he supposed to do that? He had no idea.

"We cannot be doing this…"

"I know… God, Sam, I know."

"It's so hard to stay sane … and with this playing in my head all the time…"

"I shouldn't have…"

"No, that's all right. I wanted you to… after this afternoon there was nothing I would want more."

"Geeez… Samantha…"

She shushed him then. But he looked into her eyes to let her know that this was serious.

"I promise, I will never do it again."

She smiled at him. There was something mischievous in that look.

"Oh yes, you will."

"Only if you ask me to do it."

"Is that a threat, Sir?"

He had to laugh once again that evening. She settled back into his arms.

"I meant what I said earlier, Carter. You're gonna be a wonderful mom. And I know that it might not be possible … but … you have it in you, Carter. I have always known… Don't ever doubt yourself."

That was the only reassurance she needed. He cared about her… and he was okay with the fact that she might never be a mom. It didn't make him care less. Maybe it did the exact opposite.

It was hard to admit it at first… but she would be the happiest woman on this planet if being given the chance to have a child with him. Yeah, they were both a bit old for becoming parents and with their jobs it would be risky and reckless maybe… but they would figure it out.

But she would be perfectly happy just because of being with him. She didn't need anything else.

"You cold, Carter?"

"A bit, Sir."

"Come on, let's go."

"In a moment, okay?"

"Sure… don't wanna end this evening, huh?"

"Yes, Sir. Exactly…"

"Yeah… thought so."

She shifted. She really hugged him now. She needed to do that. The snuggling was nice, of course. But this could be even better.

"Thank you for this afternoon, Carter."

"You're welcome, Sir."

"I would say that you have no idea how much this means to me… but I guess you do…"

She smiled against his neck. He could make her feel so safe and warm…

"But I swear, Carter, if you say a word about me telling those stories and doing … "

"… firemen from the play-doh and building up a castle from LEGO?"

"Yeah…"

He had to laugh. Was she doing that to him on purpose?

"I swear Carter… I will shoot you."

"Understood, Sir."

She smiled at him. There it was. The silent conversation of thank you and you're welcome and I will miss you and … maybe even some declaration of feelings.

They stood and walked to the house together. They told the nurse that they would go and come back someday again. She thanked them. Thankfully all kids were sleeping nicely so far… maybe they would make it through the night.

Sam arrived with Janet so she was a bit surprised when she didn't see her car in the parking lot. But O'Neill had a paper on his window.

"Sam, I thought you would have a ride… so I left a bit early. Get some sleep people! And thanks for coming noble night and powerful magician! Good night, J."

Sam was laughing by then. General's face was priceless. Yeah, this was a very nice afternoon. And evening as well.

A/N: I wanted to say something… but I don't know what. So… this is the end of chapter 4. There will be one more to go. I'm not too sure about the end… fairy-tale-ish ending or more realistic? We'll see I guess. Any ideas? Come on people, let me know. You already shared so much with me! Oh – and I am really glad you did… even if I couldn't use your ideas… I have them all saved and who knows… I might ask you one day for a permission to use them :o) If that's all right with you.

Oh and there will definitely be a sequel to this story... While writing I got an idea… I think it would be pretty nice to have a story based upon that… soooo…. Anyone interested?

Oh and I remembered! I know that I could have been a bit more specific about all those plays with kids... but I think that we all know how creative kids can be... so I thought that it would be nice to give you all some space to use your own imagination... try to think of all those cute and funny activites those people could be doing - playing, talking, laughing, singing... Hope you don't mind... but it felt like the right thing to do.