You should all go thank momo21 for making me continue this piece. I was just beginning to think "I'm getting a little bored with hitsuhina" I've already done one fanart, two AMV's and now this. Then she wrote a little poem about the last 3 chapters and it totally set me on fire xD. Thank you, I've never received anything quite like that before. You all should go read her poem if you want to review what's happened so far.
Oh! And I'll try to revise the end of the chpt. 3 so it's less confusing but they don't kiss…yet…
:o:o:o:o
She remembered the fell of nothingness beneath her feet as she plummeted towards the distant ground.
She remembered the slight sting of her hair as it whipped around her face, puppetered by the intense wind from her fall.
She remembered trying, and failing, to save herself, and how the cold tiles and rough wall had felt against her hands and feet.
She remembered the fear of hitting the ground; the strain and itch of her throat as she called out for the one person she could trust to come for her.
And now, stronger than remember, she felt the sensation of his hand touching the uncharted area of her inner thigh. Stronger than remember, she could fell the warmth radiating from the pair of lips opposite hers which rested a mere hairline away.
This was real and now and Hinamori knew she was safe from death if nothing else.
Cautiously, with an air of hesitation, she drew her lips away from his before anything could happen to somehow close that small distance. She also lifted her right leg a little higher so it wouldn't drag on the ground, trying to re-settle herself in a more natural way.
Hitsugaya noticed her squirming, felt her hands come up to grab his shoulders firmly, but didn't do anything to fix his own grip. It might have been the rush from touching her, the excitement of saving her, the dread of not making it in time, or the anger he felt towards himself and towards the beautiful, defiant creature in his arms, but for whatever reason he seemed rendered immobile.
It wasn't until the voices of others penetrated their silent world that Hitsugaya finally snapped out of his incompetent state of being.
"Is that Hitsugaya Taicho?" "Indeed."
"That wasn't training?" "Guess not." "Shit…"
"Oh! I know who she is!" "Yeah?"
"You know, the one who went insane after Aizen 'died.' " "Oooh."
"She was his Lieutenant." "Ouch."
With an almost hateful snort, and without bothering to relocating his hands first, Hitsugaya turned sharply and, at a very brisk pace, began walking towards the nearest doorway.
Leaving a frosty blast of his Reiatsu behind to stifle the unthinking shinigami, he carried Hinamori far away from their voices.
Fortunately, the random Soul Society Soldiers' unconscious cruelty was mostly lost on the flabbergasted Hinamori. Her mind was still too full of the image of her long time friend's magnified face and the gentle, jutting details she's always missed there before. Had his lips always been so soft in appearance? Had the weary lines of sleep lack beneath his eyes been present since they were children or had they only grown in with his Captainship?
In the back of her wandering mind she heard the loud sound of his feet as they stomped the ground, and Hinamori knew she'd have to thank him soon. Her fists, now full of his black haori, shivered as she collected her bravery. "T-thank you, Hitsugaya Taicho."
As an extra reward she used his full title.
She waited, but much to her dismay more than a minute went by and still no 'you're welcome…bed wetter' greeted her ears. No smile, no smirk, not even the slightest form of acknowledgment came from her gallant rescuer.
Then Hinamori noticed his pace increasing, and soon after she felt her body tossed upwards for just a moment before coming back down into his arms. With a quick and clever fling he'd saved her from the awkward hold and now held her in the more traditional bridal way.
Hinamori sighed as she slowly picked up on the reason for his haste, his quiet, and his brashness. With their close proximity she could hear the fast beat of his pulse, the uneven breaths he took, and feel his wavering reiatsu.
These three things could only be explained by one answer; his temper.
Hinamori had known Toshiro long enough that she could easily discover his anger, and oh was he angry.
Her head fell to rest against his neck in a quiet, apologetic way. "I'm sorry…Hitsugaya-kun." Without realizing it, her thumbs began to brush rhythmically against his collarbone, soothing and enticing him all at once.
"I'm sorry."
Before either of them knew it they were in her apartment again, just the two of them all over again with the world spinning like a runaway fariswheel.
In an almost childlike fit of emotion Hitsugaya rushed to her familiar green couch and tossed her down onto the sagging cushions. Before Hinamori could even get out an 'Ouch!' he was up in a arms, letting the ragging anger and love taint and control his words as he delivered the speech he'd always intended on giving.
"Do you have—any! Idea what you were doing out there?" He'd stammered briefly, having to force out his 'any' like it had been clogged in his throat.
Hinamori would have been concerned for her own self if she hadn't noticed the tremors in his hand when he made dramatic gestures.
"I tried…" "You could have died! What, exactly, was your back up plan incase I couldn't get there in time?"
"One of the other Shinigami would have surely…" "Because they were all looking so eager to jump in a save you, right?"
His loud voice and sensible words made Hinamori feel like a child.
"Were you…were you following that light?"
Her eyes widened at the abrupt change in Hitsugaya's voice and manner. Like a winter's wind had come and extinguished the flames of his raging fire the small Captain's dialogue had suddenly lost its intensity and force, and instead of shaking with rage his shoulders seemed to shiver with fear.
He turned partly towards her, only glancing behind him through the corner of his eye, and what she saw in the hurting, green pigment made Hinamori realize that she was not the child in this room.
"Hitsugaya-kun…" The sting of guilt made her eyes swell with tears that did not yet over flow as she drew her legs under her at a slant, and her hands found their way to each other over her lap. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was so focused on trying to understand it that I…I forgot where I was. It won't happen again, I promise."
Slowly, his visible eye closed, and then he turned away from her completely.
After a moment of silence where only the sound of two broken hearts interrupted their thoughts Hitsugaya finally spoke. His words were cool, collected, and clear, as if that quivering child he'd been moments ago had never existed. "Grab the things you want, you'll be staying with Mastumoto until we can figure out what that thing is and why you're seeing it."
"Bu—!" "Either stay with her or stay in the Fourth Division."
"I—" "That is an order." His foot left the floor as he tried to take a step away, but Hinamori's scream left him frozen in place.
"You can't, it's not fair!"
"Fair?" The white haired boy whipped around so quickly that Hinamori winced. "If you want to question what is fair and what is not, tell me how fair it is that I have to watch you fall every single time and yet there's never anything I can do to prevent it!"
The tears from before spilled over as if a gun's trigger had been squeezed. "Shiro-chan…" Hinamori's voice shook almost as hard as Hitsugaya's body, and as she leapt off the couch, her arms outstretched to welcome the old comfort they'd always given each other, Hinamori found herself colliding not with him but with reality. In the last second he'd grabbed her wrists, keeping her from touching him in this crucial moment.
For Hitsugaya knew that if she threw her arms around him now he would not be able to contain the all consuming love that was eating out the fragile walls of his heart from the inside. In this much too early time he would blurt out something he'd never be able to take back, or hold her in a way he shouldn't, maybe even touch her in a way a friend wouldn't, and in doing so ruin everything.
Not knowing how hard or soft his grip felt against her boney wrists, Toshiro quickly dropped them. He was determined not to hurt her as she had unintentionally been hurting him.
Hitsugaya straitened up, fixed his ruffled robes, and made a quick dash for the exit. "I'll come to escort you in an hour." Was his goodbye.
A dumbstruck, dejected, flustered, embarrassed, confused, and beyond guilty Hinamori sank noiselessly to the floor of her small and lonely apartment.
:o:o:
Once inside the privacy of his office in the Tenth Division meeting room Hitsugaya left no frustration restrained as he pounded the back of his fist into the wall and as his white teeth had his bottom lip caught like a guillotine's blades catch criminal's heads. But all the physical pain he inflected upon his body was nothing compared to the pain of withholding himself. Not just from her hug but from her lips as well. How easily he could have stolen one innocent, accidental kiss just now, blaming the jolt of the fall and the careless way he'd grabbed her, and yet still refrained.
The goal before him was too clear, too strong. This current reality was like an ever-waking dream he fought to be rid of. Deep inside he knew he could never allow himself to confess his feelings until Aizen was nothing more than a bad memory. Until the world was safe for him to be happy he could not allow it, for he was sure that loosing that happiness, once he had it, would be millions of times more painful than never having it at all.
"Taicho? I heard a loud banging, what's…Taicho!" Mastumoto, her orange eyes full of concern, ran towards the unsightly Tenth Division with handkerchief in hand.
Like a caring older sister she took his chin and began to dab away the blood gushing from the punctured lip. Her eyes flashed up to the broken wall for a split second and finally understanding a little of what had transpired in her absence. "Honestly…"
Instead of acting like the authority figure his white robes posed him as, Hitsugaya stood still, like a living doll, and allowed his Lieutenant to hold and clean his face. "Hm…this might need stitches. Taicho what were you thinking?"
After she asked that he jerked his head away and lowered his hand from the splinters of the wall. "Mastumoto, if it's alright with you, I'll be keeping Hinamori in your apartment for a few days."
The older woman's silence was the clearest yes she could think to give, and as she pressed the now blood red cloth onto the hurt lip she decided it was best to remain in that silence.
:o:o:o:o:
It was ten thirty in the evening and Hinamori had been effectively and efficiently moved into Rangiku's lush apartment.
"W-wow…Mastumoto-san, I didn't know you had collected so many things from the human world." The young girl seemed in awe that any room could look so well placed and interesting, for her eyes were almost a large as her waist.
"You like it huh? It's my own little collection!" The older woman buzzed with a warm happiness that one of her fellow shinigami had finally complemented her strange sense of decorating style.
"Oh, yes, it's very unique."
Hinamori's hands and eyes explored the room freely, and when the fingertips of her right hand lingered over a particularly soft, white, toy bear the girl couldn't help thinking about the other unique things in her life. 'Unique…huh…'
Unique like the dark green eyes and contrasting white hair of her most treasured friend.
Unique like the genius student turned Captain after only a handful of years at the Academy.
Unique like a blast of December in the middle of July…
"Hinamori? …Hinamori?" Rangiku's voice broke the train of thought, bringing Hinamori back to the abruptly dropped conversation.
"Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
With a raise of an eyebrow Mastumoto repeated the question; "I said, would you like to sleep with me or should I set up a futon for you?"
The younger girl's eyes seemed to light up like a holiday lantern at the prospect of a new experience. "I could really sleep in that strange bed?"
Mastumoto laughed. "Of course!"
:o:o:o:
The next day marked the first real day of training for Hinamori since the puncturing of her heart and her small coma.
She'd decided the night before that she couldn't bear the immense weight of uselessness upon her proud shinigami shoulders any longer. With wooden katana in hand, a small but protein filled breakfast in her tummy, and determination coursing like a hot fire inside her body, Hinamori set off for the fifth division training hall.
It wasn't crucial, but Hinamori wanted a room to herself.
So it was a great relief to her to find that the rest of her unit was all training outside or with another division.
She took her stance, sucked in a deep, cleansing breath, and drew her sword high above her head as her body fell into the well known rhythm of Basics.
Swoosh! Swoo! Swh!
Slowly but surely her cuts became faster as the weight of the sword in her hands became natural once more. A triumphant smile exploded across her features with the sudden rush of wholeness. Hinamori felt new again, as if having that weapon and being able to use it gave her a clean slate, a fresh start, and a scar free body.
The small girl took that eruption of energy and emotion and burst into a complicated jump, upsweep and flip combo, one of her favorite and most delicate techniques.
Hinamori could have cried with joy as she landed almost perfectly, wobbling just a little bit, but held in the tears and returned to her disciplined stance. "I didn't forget."
If nothing else, she could be proud of her skills; that was how she felt.
Little did she know that just outside her haven the rest of her division stood peaking in on her, each one nearly moved to his own tears by her recovery and spunk.
'T-that's our Hinamori-chan!'
She was the only woman in her division, as Aizen had always preferred to have male subordinates, and without knowing it had become their princess.
:o:o:
Much to her dismay, Hinamori's strength only held out for half an hour before she collapsed to the ground wheezing and drenched in sweat.
Feeling tired, happy, and a bit pathetic, Hinamori resigned herself to spending the rest of the day on the hard, well-worn floor. A small ways off was her washcloth, and she stretched her hand as far towards it as possible but still did not reach it. 'Hm…that's a problem…'
A loud growl from her stomach was the second problem her "lets just stay here for the rest of the day" presented and a shortly afterwards a long, hollow sigh echoed throughout the training hall.
Just as Hinamori was about to get up she heard a stampede of feet come running towards her. Like a tangled mess of long legged horses they all came crashing in to join her, each member of the fifth division pretending to have just come back from training somewhere else.
"Oh! Hinamori-Chan, what a pleasure to see you!"
"You're feeling better? That's great!"
"Hungry? We were just gunna grab some grub."
"Sake too!"
"Hey, is this yours?"
"Good to see you again!"
The girl blinked repeatedly, unsure of what to think of this sudden entry and explosion of voices. Even more surprising was the lack of resentment in the faces of her teammates after her prolonged absence and abandonment. Kira had been taking good care of his division, so she'd heard, but she had done nothing but lay in a comatose and try to recover. It only seemed natural that they would dislike her.
For the second time in that very hour Hinamori felt tears in her eyes. "Everyone…"
:o:o:o:o:
Elsewhere, another loud sigh could be heard ringing throughout the halls of Seiretei.
Hitsugaya, now fully equipt with a three stitch lip, could not be seen behind the piles of paperwork attacking his desk. Just as he'd suspected, Mastumoto hadn't done any of it on his day off.
The temptation to scold and threaten her into one of her 'safe closets', she called them, was great and still growing, increasing each time he had to sign off on a medical report for a minor training accident.
He heard footsteps at his door, and just before the short Captain could open his mouth to spew out a well conceived insult he found himself staring at Soi Fong instead of his lacking Lieutaneant.
"Captain Fong?" Seeing business—urgent business—in her chilly eyes, he stood up hastily and motioned her closer.
"A secret Captain's meeting in half an hour. The rest of Soul Society cannot know about this, that was all I was told."
"A-Ah…" Confused but even more curious Hitsugaya went back to this desk to "speed work" away the rest of the meaningless documents littering his desk.
:o:o:o:o:o:
In the dead of night he came to her, hoping to say goodbye before the world and his work became too hectic for him to see her leisurely. The Captains had just spent the day cooperating with the notorious Urahara and the 12th division to relocate Karakura town and were now to leave Soul Society behind to stake out Aizen's inevitable attack on the human world.
Mastumoto was already waiting outside, fully dressed and alert, so Hitsugaya had only to walk into the bedroom, kneel besides the western style mattress, and say the one long and lonely word no warrior enjoys uttering.
In a peaceful sleep she lay until his hand engulfed and shook her shoulder.
"Hm…M?"
Brown eyes opened lazily, still fighting for the sleep her tired body needed, as the waking girl tried her best to focus on the blur in front of her. That white, green, and familiar cloud was soon recognized, and even though she couldn't see him quite crystal clear just yet she smiled happily in his general direction. "Hitsugaya-kun."
"A." He nodded, his hand slipping down the length of her arm off her shoulder until he realized his action and banished the chilly hand to his side.
"Hinamori, the other Captains and I will be leaving in a few hours. The reiatsu force will be intense for a little while until we move into the real world, so try and sleep through it."
"You're leaving?" The deep, dark eyebrows above her now fully awake eyes furrowed together in a kind of confused protest, though she was too tired to do more.
"Yeah." His answer was whispered, a breath out of his lungs like a pitiful sigh, and dripping with apology.
Hinamori gave her own much more obvious sigh and sank back into the pillow. "Oh."
It was difficult to explain himself without revealing dangerous information, and Hitsugaya was already regretting telling her where he'd be.
Before an awkward silence had the time to creep in and settle around them Hinamori was already stirring up more trouble.
Her observant eyes had found the small wound on his lip and her fingers stretched out from under the soft comforter to brush her finger down one of the small stitch threads. "Your lip…"
Hitsugaya shivered under her ghostly touch, and as if by reflex or from a badly timed exhale he kissed the curious fingers before taking the whole hand in his own. His green eyes studied it a moment, perhaps memorizing it, and each second that his fingers lingered on hers his resolve to let go became weaker.
Suddenly the spell was broken, and he rose from the submissive position to tuck the small hand away under the sheets.
"Don't worry about it." He told her kindly, his eyes searing with pain as he tried to pry himself away from her.
Hinamori's all day efforts were very apparent in the way she lifted her arm, in the way it had begun to shake as already exhausted muscles complained, and most obvious and special of all was the sparkle in her eye that he knew well from his days with her in the academy.
"Don't worry about me."
She would get that sparkle of triumph when she felt proud of herself, when she'd pushed herself to the very limit and then overcome it.
"…"
I love you.
"…well."
I love only you.
"Goodbye."
'Dang…' As Hitsugaya started to walk away, already scolding himself because for all the time he'd wasted, he heard her voice calling him back.
"Gunight, Shirocha…" She'd mumbled, half asleep, into the pillow, a sweet smile playing on her lips. "Only gunigh…" Hinamori yawned, unaware of the new width Hitsugaya's eyes had found. "Because you're coming back, r—yawn—right, Shiro-chan?"
It didn't take him long to smile bitterly and answer. "Yes. I'm coming back."
:o:o:o:o: