Before I went to bed I texted Ashley about this phone situation.

To: Ashley

Are you getting my texts? No one is answering my calls and I can't get through to anyone.

From: Ashley

Yes

Ok, talk about a vague response. I don't know what her problem is lately but whatever it is, she needs to lighten up. The next morning I called my parents to tell them about my phone.

"Dad, I think there's something wrong with my phone, I keep getting cut off and I think my calls might not be going through." I told him.

"Oh, Amy, that's terrible… You're cutting out... We'll get you a new phone. We will." He said before he hung up.

Great. More phone problems. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

On my way to class I finally heard from Ben. It was a little after nine here so he must have gotten up super early just to catch me before class. I was just happy to finally hear form him

"Hello?" I said.

"Oh hi, are you busy? I was hoping to catch you before you went to school." he asked.

"Yeah perfect timing. What's going on?"

"Oh nothing, I just miss you."

"I miss you too, Ben."

Ben hesitated for a second. "In fact I miss you so much, what would you think of my dad and me flying to New York to have dinner with you tomorrow night?"

My Jaw dropped. "Are you serious!" I exclaimed, "I would LOVE that!"

"Great, well I will let you get back to whatever you were doing then, but I will see you tomorrow. I love you."

For some reason he did not sound nearly as excited as I did but I guess I was too excited to care. When we hung up the phone I was practically giddy. Maybe that's why he was ignoring my calls, because he was surprising me!

"What was that about?" Bristol asked me as we were on our way to the school.

"That was just Ben, my boyfriend. He's coming here for dinner tomorrow night," I told her excitedly.

"Oh that's so sweet," she said, "is he bringing your son with him."

I paused. I guess while everyone at home was familiar with my relationship situation, I was still going to have to explain it to everyone here. Part of this program is group counseling so obviously it's going to come up, so I better get started telling people.

"Ben is actually not my son's father," I told her, "John's father and I have actually never been a couple."

"But he stuck around?" she asked sounding very surprised by that.

"Yes he stuck around, he's very involved in John's life. He's not a bad guy he just isn't my boyfriend. Things happen but for right now, this arrangement works for us." Defending Ricky was still a fairly new concept to me but when all is said and done, I couldn't ask for a better father for John. I know I used to want it to be Ben but after seeing Ben and John together I quickly changed my mind about that.

"Do you think you'll ever date him?" she asked; the question that I've been asked over and over for the past two years.

"Now is not a good time for us to think about that," I told her.

I think I made her uncomfortable talking about this because she quickly changed the subject. I remember she had mentioned that she and her baby's father had been together for years before she got pregnant. I am interested to hear about all of the other girls and their situations because I always feel very judged when I talk about mine.

When we got to school the first part of the day was music class. We learned a few new pieces in the small groups that we were broken into the other day. Our first concert was going to be this weekend so within our groups we were auditioning pieces. We played a bunch of different ones before it was finally time to break for lunch. I sat with the same people in the cafeteria. They could all tell that I was excited about something.

"What's going on with you?" Megan asked me.

"Oh nothing, I'm just excited because my boyfriend is coming here for dinner tomorrow," I responded excitedly.

"Is he bringing the baby?" Jackie asked.

I rolled my eyes for a second. I guess it's fair to assume that my boyfriend was the father of my baby, but it still annoys me every time. I responded as generally as I could, "He isn't my baby's father but that's a long story that I don't want to talk about right now. I'm sure it will come up in one of these sessions pretty soon."

"Wait is this the boyfriend that wouldn't take your calls all week?" Jane asked sounding confused.

"Yeah, but I think that got straightened out. I'm just having problems with my phone, that's all."

She looked a little skeptical about that but I didn't care. We finished up lunch and walked over to the group session. Since they wanted us to be able to open up to each other, the first day was easy. All we had to do today was talk about our babies. I could talk about John for hours so I had no trouble opening up for this.

After school we all walked back the apartments together and the girls and I went to dinner again. Afterwards I did homework then called Ricky. He answered but sounded upset. He told me that my parents told him to take a break and sent him home for the night and John was with them. I called Ashley and she put John on the phone. We talked for a little while before my dad came in to put him to bed. On that note I decided I would go to bed too.

The next day seemed to drag on for ever. I was too excited to focus on anything that was going. I can honestly say I payed attention to nothing in class so my group probably sounded horrible in practice, but I didn't care. My friends were all making fun of how giddy I was at lunch but again, I didn't care. In the afternoon group session I didn't feel like talking. We were just talking about our families and how they supported us anyway. I must admit that I was very surprised by how some of the girls' parents reacted to the news of their pregnancies. Some offered no support and some even kicked them out of the house. I felt bad after hearing that because I can't imagine my parents not being there for me. Because I was looking forward to tonight so much, I couldn't really think about that right now. The session still took forever because I could not wait to get out of there.

It was finally time to meet Ben! Some of the girls were teasing me about it because I changed my outfit like four times and it took me hours to get ready. My cab was here and I was ready to go. The restaurant wasn't far from my apartment but I was so excited the ride seemed to take forever!

We finally pulled up to the restaurant and there I saw Ben and Leo waiting outside for me.

"Ben!" I shouted as I ran out of the cab and hugged him, "I can't believe you're here."

"I can't believe I'm here either," he said nervously.

"Don't you love it? This is so exciting! Hi Mr. Boykewich!" I exclaimed

"Hi Amy, you look beautiful," Leo said, "doesn't she look beautiful, Ben" New York has been good for you."

"Thank you," I said.

"You really do look beautiful," Ben told me.

"Have you gotten taller?" I asked him half kidding.

"No, I don't think so," he responded nervously again.

"I'm going to go in and get us a table and a drink and I'll see you inside," Leo told us as he hugged me.

As soon as he walked away I ran up and kissed Ben repeatedly. I couldn't believe he came all this way just to see me. But that didn't last long because he pulled away with the most unsettling news I could get.

"Amy, Adrian's pregnant and it's my baby," he said as if it were all one word.

I could not believe what I had just heard. I just stared at him speechless. He kept talking but I wasn't really listening; I was still trying to process what he had just said.

"Oh god, it wasn't supposed to come out like that. Wait." He paused. "Amy I love you, I've loved you since the first time I saw you," he started rambling a speech that he had clearly rehearsed but I didn't want to hear it.

"Adrian's pregnant?" I interrupted.

"…and since that time we've been through a lot together…" he continued with his speech.

"What, what are you talking about?" I asked him sternly.

"…our problems have only made us stronger and we've grown up a lot since then…"

"Ben Stop!" I yelled. At this point I was just livid. "Is this why you came out here? To tell me that Adrian's pregnant with your baby?"

"I wanted to talk to you face to face."

"Why? So you can remember what my face looks like the last time you see me?"

"Amy, I don't want to marry Adrian, I'm not going to marry Adrian."

"She's actually having the baby?"

"She is actually having my baby… But that doesn't have to change anything between us."

I could not believe he just said that. Of course it changes thing between us, it changes everything between us. I was too mad and shocked to even respond.

"Look, we'll go in there, we'll just have dinner and we'll talk about it," he said trying to still convince me everything would be ok.

"No, no we are NOT going to do that."

"But I came all this way to see you; and I have a calculus test tomorrow. I don't know why I just said that. Do you like pecan pie, they have great pecan pie." He kept rambling on.

"Here is what I think of pecan pie!" I screamed at him as I got right back in the taxi that took me there.

I was experiencing such a strange mix of emotions that I didn't even know how to handle them. I was mad, upset, hurt, and sad all at once. I could not believe him! I never want to speak to him again!

When I got home I went straight to my room. I passed a few of my friends in the hall but they could tell I was clearly upset so they left me alone. I sat on my bed and decided I needed to talk to the only person who could possibly make me feel better right now, John.

I dialed Ricky's number and surprisingly he picked up this time.

"Hello?" he picked up.

"I need to talk to John," I cut right to the chase.

"Amy, are you ok, you sound really upset."

"Oh, you picked up on that did you? I just want to talk to John."

"Amy do you really think it's a good idea to talk to John when you're this upset?" he asked I guess trying to calm me down.

"That's none of your business, just let me talk to my son."

"Amy, I know what Ben told you is upsetting but-"

I cut him off, "Wait, you knew? You knew and you didn't tell me? How long have you known?"

"About what?"

"Don't play dumb just tell me what you know!"

"Not that long, only a few days, but we figured it would be best if Ben told you himself."

"WE?" I screamed, "Who exactly is WE?"

He didn't say anything.

"So everyone knew but me?"

He didn't say anything again.

"TELL ME!"

"Yes, everyone knows but like I said we thought it would be best for Ben to tell you himself. It isn't really anyone else's business."

"I see, so you all decided it would be better to make me look like an idiot while I'm alone on the other side of the country with no one and stupidly getting excited for such a shitty visit? Thanks a lot!" I said as I hung up the phone.

I feel bad for yelling at Ricky like that since this wasn't exactly his fault but he had no excuse not to tell me. I definitely do not want to talk to anyone from home. How could no one have told me? I would expect this from Ashley but not Ricky, or my parents, or best friends. It's like I can't trust anyone anymore.