Here it is, last chapter, I apologize for the wait, I've been swamped with work. I hope you enjoy it. I'm not sure it's nearly as good as the rest, but it's pretty amusing. At least the imagery is.
As always, not beta-d…don't know anyone who will, so forgive the mistakes
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Kakashi stood next to Iruka, his hands clenched into fists, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out into gales of laughter.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!"
Beside him, Iruka snorted, and Kakashi almost lost it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Iruka was shaking with barely suppressed laughter.
"DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS HAS EMOTIONALLY SCARRED OUR YOUTH?!!"
Neither of the two men really cared that the Sandaime was yelling at them (even though neither of them had ever heard the Sandaime yell, let alone raise his voice). Both of them were still wrapped up in the image that had confronted Iruka in the mission room this morning.
"DO YOU REALIZE THAT ROCK LEE IS COPYING HIS SENSEI?"
Kakashi choked. Rock Lee was…. That was news to him.
Suddenly, Iruka stopped shaking and pulled himself up straight, freezing his face in a solemn and apologetic expression. Kakashi felt the change and had a minor heart-attack, wondering if Iruka was really deserting him in his hour of need.
Iruka ducked his head, as if in shame, and bowed low to the Sandaime, "I am terribly sorry, Hokage-sama. This has clearly gone beyond the level of good-natured teasing, and I promise that I will never go this far again." Kakashi gapped at him, then sank into a bow, imitating his partner.
The Sandaime glared at both of them. "Umino-san." His voice was low and incredibly dangerous. "If anything like this happens again…." He trailed off.
"If anything like this happens again, I will personally fill my name out in the book as a missing-nin." Iruka finished for him, bowing lower.
Kakashi looked back and forth between Iruka and the Sandaime and finally raised his hand. "Maaa, me too."
Deadly silence descended in the room, and, after a few heartbeats, both Iruka and Kakashi looked up at the Sandaime, whose eyes narrowed dangerously. "GET OUT!"
The two men beat a hasty retreat, but just as the door swung closed behind them, they were sure that they heard a barely smothered laugh. They stood outside the Sandaime's office, starring at each other, then dissolved into helpless laughter. Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka's waist to keep the Chuunin from collapsing all the way to the floor, but leaned his head on his partner's back, tears streaming down his face and into his mask he was laughing so hard.
"Oh….my…god…." Iruka gasped. "I can't believe he actually….I didn't think he would actually…." His words were lost in laughter again.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Very early that morning……..
Kakashi crouched on the top of one of the adjoining buildings, watching a lithe black shadow slip across the roofs. There's no way Iruka can get into Gai-san's place. No way. He thought again about helping the Chuunin, but Iruka had insisted that it would be easier with one person than with two, and Kakashi was just going to have to trust him.
The black figure anchored his feet to the underneath side of the roof, inverting his body and peering in the window. A darker shadow hung from his shoulder, the backpack that held the goal of this little excursion.
Iruka slipped his fingers in the edge of the window, recognizing by feel the fine wires that would trigger alarms or traps if they were broken or cut, and he slid two kunai from his pouch, checking the blades to make sure that only the points were sharp. The kunai were slid in through the gap in the window and used to lift the wires out of the way, pinning them to the window frame. After easing the window open several more inches, Iruka shimmied his way inside, landing cat-silent on the floor of Gai's apartment. Thankfully, he wasn't met with any alarms, knives, or (perhaps the worst option) the unclothed blue beast of Konoha. Glad I haven't lost my edge.
Iruka padded from one room to the next, looking for Gai's closet. He eased into Gai's bedroom, creeping around the end of the bed, barely breathing. When he could almost reach the closet, his foot came down on something that was definitely not a floor board. And it squeaked. Iruka froze, starring at the bed and hoping against hope that Gai wouldn't wake up. On the bed (under bright green sheets with orange-yellow stripes), Gai rolled over mumbling, '…must be cooler than eternal rival…" Iruka swallowed a snort, making a note to tell Kakashi about it when he got out of there. Then he reached down to retrieve the thing that had almost given him away. He picked up a small stuffed bear, dressed in Gai's uniform (complete with green spandex, orange leg-warmers, and a jounin vest). Iruka rolled his eyes and set it carefully on the dresser next to him.
The Chuunin reached the closet and slid the door open, dropping his pack onto the floor and pulling out the contents. All of the green uniforms in Gai's closet (seriously, he must have had thirty or forty of them) went into the backpack. What on earth does he do with all these??? Change several times a day? Iruka shook his head, bemused, and pulled out the replacement item, hanging it in the closet and twisting the note on it so that the writing was clearly visible. Then he shouldered the backpack and made his way back out of the room and through the window.
He tossed the backpack up over the edge of the roof and pulled the pair of kunai out, letting the trap wires spring back in place.
Kakashi started when the black figure emerged from the darkened room. Did he really manage to…? Even in the shadowed night, he saw Iruka give him a thumbs-up. Way to go, Iruka!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Iruka picked up the papers and tapped them gently on the desk in the mission room to straighten them out. Life in the mission room had gotten much more sedate now that Genma knew about Iruka's boyfriend. Unfortunately for Iruka, Genma decided to ask for advice about his own love life, now that he knew that Iruka was not only successful, but also leaned the same way. Luckily for Iruka, Genma had fallen asleep about an hour ago and didn't show any signs of waking up. The Chuunin yawned hugely and contemplated just telling Raidoh about Genma's affection; honestly, he would do just about anything to end the bouts of holding-forth on Raidoh's great characteristics and how Genma didn't deserve him, etc.
As he stretched his arms back over his head, Iruka sighed and thought about falling asleep in the chair. He'd been awake for far too many hours this morning (especially since Kakashi hadn't let him go back to sleep after the raid on Gai's house…). Startled yelps and whistles broke him out of his reverie.
The door to the mission room flew open, the glow from the sun outside framing the figure in the door. Iruka looked up and almost swallowed his tongue. Gai was standing in the doorway in a full, French maid's outfit. Complete with fishnet stockings and black heels. He stretched his arm out, holding forth the note Iruka had left for him.
Genma woke with a start as the door to the mission room slammed open, and he gapped at the vision in black and lace, then rubbed his eyes several times, either to check if he was awake or to scrape the image off his corneas. Then he shook himself out of his trance long enough to scribble a note on the top of one of Iruka's papers.
-Is this why you didn't want us to tell him??-
Iruka couldn't even write; he was shaking so badly from suppressed laughter. It didn't help that Gai was trailing a large group of Chuunin, Jounin and even a few of the older Genin.
After lowering his head and regaining his composure, Iruka folded his hands together and looked up at the 'dressed-up' Jounin, "Gai-sensei. If you think you're going to find out who I'm dating, you'll have to wait." Iruka paused for effect. "I believe if you read the note, it says you have to wear it for one day." He noticed Genma out of the corner of his eye as the Jounin dropped his head into his arms, trying to keep Gai from noticing that he was laughing at him.
"I AM AWARE OF THE STIPULATIONS OF THIS CONTEST, IRUKA-SENSEI! I MERELY WANTED TO INFORM YOU THAT I WILL UNDERGO ANY HUMILIATION TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE TRULY IN THE CORRECT RELATIONSHIP TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!" With that, Gai spun on one blocky heel and strode out through the crowd that had gathered around the mission room door. He paused in the midst of them and turned back flashing a sparkling smile at Iruka and giving him the standard Gai-thumbs-up. "I WILL RETURN WHEN THE SUN SETS!"
As the door swung shut again, Iruka burst into laughter, sliding out of his chair and onto the floor. Genma leaned back in his chair, whipping tears from his face and gasping for air. "You told him if he wore that around all day, you'd tell him who you're dating."
Iruka scrubbed his hands across his face, "We didn't think he'd actually do it…. But I guess we didn't give him much of a choice…."
The door swung open again, and Kurenai staggered in, clutching a small object to her chest. She took a minute to stop giggling, then waved the silvery object at Iruka. "I…" She giggled, "I have pictures. Iruka, how did you pull this off???"
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Around midday, Iruka scrambled up to the roof around the Hokage's office. Thankfully, the Hokage seemed to have gotten his yelling quota out of the way earlier in the morning, and neither he nor Kakashi had been summoned back to be yelled at again. However, Iruka was awash in congratulatory notes, high-fives, and a few shouts from across the courtyard. In the end, standing through five minutes of getting screamed at in the Hokage's office was a small price to pay for the ridiculousness that had ensued today and the pictures that Kurenai promised to copy. Underneath all the other notes on his desk, he'd found one that asked him to come up to the roof over lunch. The Chuunin cleared the edge of the roof, only to have a steaming bowl of ramen waved underneath his nose.
"Care to join me?" The single visible eye was squeezed closed from the happy smile hidden beneath his mask. "There's quite a show going on down there."
Iruka gladly took the ramen and settled down next to Kakashi, leaning against his partner's side. The peaceful scene lasted for about two minutes before Iruka almost snorted ramen out of his nose. Kakashi was lucky, having gobbled down his lunch in a few short seconds, he was spared the dangers of food out-the-nose. He did, however, chuckle maniacally from watching the scene play out below them.
Gai strode purposefully through the town, completely ignoring his own rather bizarre clothing. Rock Lee followed closely behind in a similar outfit that looked like it had been cobbled together from black sheets and perhaps some pieces of someone's curtains. Tenten and Neji followed much farther behind, and Tenten hid behind her teammate's sleeve, hoping that no one would see her and associated her with her sensei.
A very wide path cleared around the blue beast and his team. Most of the people around them covered their mouths to keep from guffawing in Gai's face; some parents reached down to cover their children's eyes. Iruka honestly could say that he didn't blame them since he wasn't sure he was ever going to get the image out of his mind. He had a sneaking suspicion that it would recur in dark nightmares.
"This is definitely worth it."
Iruka snickered at the dark, manipulating tone in Kakashi's voice.
"Maaa, who'd have thought you had such a dark side."
"Oh, I'm a rebel." Kakashi burst into laughter, and Iruka faked a hurt expression. "Hey, now, you should have seen me when I was a student. Teachers dreaded having me in their classes."
"And look at how far you've fallen…"Kakashi grinned at him.
"Hey! You started dating me before you knew about this whole shady past thing."
"Maaa," Kakashi held up both hands, easing away from his partner. "That doesn't mean I can't enjoy it."
A single dark eyebrow arched upwards.
OOOOOOOOOO
At the end of the day, Iruka was back at the mission desk, sliding low in his chair and studying the gorgeous sunset through the window. He surreptitiously checked his watch and then drummed his fingers on the table. At least five more minutes before Gai would show up, and they would get to see his expression when he found out the truth. After stretching his arms upwards, Iruka swiveled in his chair and check the trigger wires that were connected to the camera behind the mission desk. Everything was set.
The door snapped open, slamming against the inside wall, and was immediately filled with black cloth, lace, fishnet, and a sparkling smile. "IRUKA-SENSEI! I HAVE COMPLETED THE MODERN CHALLENGE YOU GAVE TO ME, AND I DESIRE MY ANSWER SO THAT I CAN VERIFY THE WORTHINESS OF YOUR SUITOR."
Iruka looked at him blankly, then raised a single finger and pointed behind the Jounin. And ready camera…. Everything seemed to slow down as Gai turned to look behind him. Iruka was slightly distracted by the flouncing bow that swept by his face as the other man spun around.
And saw his eternal rival leaning against the wall behind him, Icha Icha raised in front of his face, and his body arranged into his customary, bored slouch. "Yo."
Time stopped for several seconds.
Suddenly, the chair disappeared from under Iruka's butt, and he realized that he was no longer behind the dubious safety of the mission desk. He tried desperately to open his eyes, but was finding it hard to focus on moving his muscles due to lack of oxygen flowing to his brain. A strong bicep sticking out from under a poofy, lacey cap sleeve was wrapped tightly around his throat, holding him slightly off the ground as Gai carried on about the glory of love. Iruka was, needless to say, not paying much attention to what Gai was spouting since he was more worried about imminent death from strangulation. His fingers scrambled against Gai's arm, and just before darkness closed around his eyes, Gai released him, dropping him straight onto the floor.
Only to snatch up Kakashi in a much similar grasp. "MY ENTERNAL RIVAL!" Gai had tears of joy streaming down his face. "I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED THAT YOU COULD FIND INFINITE HAPPINESS." Kakashi fished a kunai out of his pouch and bashed Gai on the head with it, and the blue beast finally let him go. Kakashi smoothed Icha Icha back out, since it had been crumpled between his side and Gai's chest when he was snatched up.
Gai gave his head a shake to clear it from the impact Kakashi'd given him. Thankfully, Kakashi'd managed to completely derail his train of thought. Gai looked puzzled for a second, then looked at the two men across from him as Kakashi pulled Iruka up off the floor, and a soft smile crossed his face. "I am sorry, Iruka-sensei. I should have know that you would not chose someone unworthy of you. And if anyone in this humble village is worthy, " Gai bowed slightly, "My eternal rival. I am truly happy for both of you."
The whole speech would have been much more touching if a wind hadn't swirled through the room and lifted up the incredibly short skirt of the maid's outfit, showing without a doubt that Gai did indeed go commando underneath his clothes.
Iruka eeked, turned bright red, and buried his face in Kakashi's shoulder. Kakashi just shook his head in disbelief, mainly because Gai did not seem to be phased by it at all.
Gai spun on one of his high heels, shouting, "I MUST GO PROCLAIM THE BEAUTY OF THIS UNION TO THE ENTIRETY OF THE VILLAGE1" And flounced out of the room.
Kakashi looked down at where Iruka still had his head buried in his shoulder. "Have…have you ever pranked Gai before?"
The brown ponytail swung back and forth as Iruka shook his head. "That didn't go at all as I planned." He muttered.
Kakashi chuckled. "Well, look at it this way, we still managed to get Gai-san to parade around the village in that outfit all day." Then he paused and shuddered. "Although I could have done without the view we got a few seconds again." He had to laugh at the meeping noise the Iruka made at the mention of that.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Gai burst through the door of the lounge, still in his costume, and struck his 'nice guy' pose in front of the Jounin who were in there. "I COME BEARING THE GREAT NEWS OF IRUKA-SENSEI AND KAKASHI-SAN!"
Kurenai looked up at him, puzzled. "What? That they're dating?"
Gai paused in the process of opening his mouth to shout more, and gapped down at the female Jounin. "You…you know?"
Genma stepped in from behind him. "Of course we know."
Gai smoothed his hands down the front of the dress and stared down at the frills and lace. Then looked back up at the others. "You know?!" The end of the sentence came out several octave higher than the beginning. Gai looked down at the dress again, blushed a dark scarlet and fled the room. Kurenai stared after him, waited for the door to swing shut, then burst into laughter, falling onto Asuma's shoulder.
"Did you see his face?" Genma gasped. "Brilliant!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Iruka shoved the door of his classroom open, stretching his arm back to hold the door open for Kakashi. It was early in the morning, before classes started, and the two of them had just left the break room after grabbing mugs of coffee. It always made Kakashi think of the first time he'd actively tracked Iruka down, and they'd had coffee together. It was their habit now to pick up coffee and sit in Iruka's classroom before school.
As he slid into the chair, Iruka pushed his papers to the side of the desk, fishing out a coaster to set his mug on. Kakashi put his cup right on top of one of the piles of paper, and Iruka groaned and moved it onto another coaster, the same way he did every morning. As he moved the coaster, Iruka noticed a small manila folder tucked in under one of his pictures. He slid it out and slowly peeled it open.
Kakashi looked up from Icha Icha when he noticed the strange motion. "What's that?"
"I'm not sure." He slid out a note, which read. 'Nicely done. I never thought I'd ever see Gai embarrassed. Thank you for taking him down a peg.' Iruka flipped the note over and showed it to Kakashi.
"Who do you think?" Kakashi asked, taking the note and scrutinizing the writing. It looked familiar, but he couldn't place it.
OOOOOOOO
Outside Iruka's classroom, the Sandaime quietly lit his pipe and puffed on it a couple of times. He looked in through the open door at the Jounin and Chuunin who were leaning over the desk with their heads together, both puzzling over the writing trying to figure out who had sent it. The Sandaime shook his head, adjusted his hat, and strode off down the hallway, chuckling.
OOOOOOOOOOOOO
Whew. It's done, finally. Again, sorry sorry sorry about the wait to everyone who was waiting. I got swamped by a pantload of work and only just found time to finish. Also, sorry about this chapter. The plot bunnies really deserted me, so if it doesn't measure up to the rest of the story, forgive me.
Please, please, please (begging…can you tell?) review. I live off the sustenance of reviews and it inspires me to write.
I'm also going to write another sequel to this, but it's going to be mainly serious. It's going to be called 'Running for Life," and I'll put another chapter on this when I post the first one of that.
Again, please review even if you think it sucks, I am well aware that I need constructive crit.
Until next time,
sunlight through leaves