They just stared at each other, clearly at an impasse which C.J. thought was just plain silly.
She knew they both wanted the same thing, to get into each other's pants but Matt had all of a sudden developed a conscience. Not to mention that he developed one for her as well as if she needed it. She didn't want him to try to decide things for her out of friendship or worse…out of anything he felt that he owed her for pulling him out of the abyss.
He'd gotten his own ass out of his pit of despair. She'd just given it a swift kick when he needed it. She remembered how upset his father had been when Matt had spent his days drinking and his nights carousing after coming back from Iraq. Two young men gone off in search of adventure and to test themselves and only one of them came home.
So she and Bill had put their heads together and their hearts on hold for what they needed to do, which was to get down and dirty with the man they both loved. Tough love, some called it but it had exacted a price on both of them. Matt still bristled under the authority his father had exerted over his grown son and as for her…maybe he felt a bit guilty about how badly he'd treated her.
She could forgive that…because she'd seen inside his soul where the darkness that he'd seen threatened to consume him. But if he started being bossy, the gloves came off.
What she needed for him to do was to stop lecturing her about what she needed and start giving her what they both wanted right?
"We don't have to do it on the hay bale," she said softly, "there's always the cot in the groom's room."
He looked in that direction clearly giving it some thought even though he had just sworn to her nothing was going to happen between them. Oh, she could come up with a list of ways to make the worst liar in the county out of him in just under a minute.
Beginning with that she had felt trying to break out of his denim pants, it had felt amazing beneath her fingers even sheathed by the cloth. She couldn't wait to get up close and personal with it. But the way Matt looked at her now, he didn't look convinced.
"It's too small…"
"Not if we cuddle up close it's not," she said, "We could start with missionary and work our way from there."
Ooh, that got his attention and she saw him catch his breath. His hands clenched at his side, she knew so they wouldn't follow the impulse burning through him to reach out and touch her.
"C.J. what's gotten into you?"
She smiled.
"Nothing yet cowboy…maybe if you stopped talking…"
She wanted him to speak in other ways instead starting with his hands.
To trace the lace of her camisole and slip his hands beneath it to palm her breasts which felt so damn heavy right now, wanting a man's hands on them, especially those laced with calluses from a lifetime of field work. But his hands remained obediently at his sides so she lifted up her own hands and palmed her breasts, while rubbing the fabric of the camisole against them.
That felt pretty good, of course not as good as if he'd been doing it but he clearly needed some coaching.
"Oh god…"
Did that come from her or from him? She'd been thinking that just now but his lips were parted slightly as if he'd actually said it.
"They're all yours tonight if you want…all you got to do is reach out and touch them."
Oh but he seemed loathed to do that, was she really that unlike his other women or was his conscience much stronger than she'd ever guessed? Okay, now it might be the right time to peel her camisole right off of her body and liberate what it covered. She reached for it and he stopped her.
"Don't you dare...!"
She arched her brow at him, her fingers frozen on her camisole.
"Dare what…oh this…don't you want to see what's underneath?"
He closed his eyes briefly then and she knew when he took a gander at her creamy soft breasts, with nipples painted like wild roses, he'd have to adjust those jeans. She knew that nature had been generous with her though she hadn't always appreciated it. When he saw them for the first time, would he be able to keep his hands off of them?
God, she hoped not.
"You need to get your shirt…"
She folded her arms.
"Hell no, didn't you listen to what I said? I'm not lying for you and if you want me to sell your story, you know what I need first."
He sighed, his breath more ragged.
"How do you even know what you need?"
Her eyes flashed again and he knew she was getting angry which made her look all the sexier. That he didn't need right now so he tried to calm her down like he might an irate filly.
"Hey forget I said that," he said, "but you know what I mean. You acting like this all a sudden."
She shrugged.
"That's why I'm here," she said, "I want to do like you guys do, have some fun. What's there to say no to?"
Oh Matt thought he didn't know how to respond to that.
Looking at her standing there in her camisole and jeans that hugged that ass so nicely made it harder for him to do that…especially since a part of him wanted so badly to be released.
A vision of her pulling it out of his jeans he should just stop there before his heart stopped beating. She'd do it in a second if he asked, and he still didn't know why. What had gotten into his best friend?
She hadn't been drinking and hadn't hit her head on something hard as far as he knew.
Her lips parted in ways that….he had to figure a way out of this situation quickly. But his libido began to argue with him, his hands itched to touch her skin, to trace every inch of it in exploration. She seemed to read his mind because she began rubbing her camisole in a way that proved maddening to a man trying to keep his hands to himself. Did she know it was like sticking her fingers in a tiger's cage after he hadn't been fed in a week?
No clearly not, because she just smiled at him, licking her lips, the moistness of them made his body tense. Damn he needed it badly and he was losing patience.
But he'd promised himself he'd never look at her that way. As just another woman he'd coax into his bed.
If he lost control…no not an option. He needed her to do as he asked and go along with his story and then they could both just walk on out of there so they could each cool off.
"Like I said, I'm not leaving…"
His heart beat inside his chest, his skin tingled at the sight of her playing with the edge of her camisole teasing him. He grabbed her hand with his own to stop her and then he kissed her before he knew it.
It just happened like that.
His lips grasped at hers hungrily, nipping at the corners before he thrust his tongue into her mouth, rimming the inside with its tip. She gasped but didn't back away from him, rather she placed her hands on his hips while he circled her tongue with his own. That made her moan, and lean against him.
He felt his fingers inch towards her camisole and then slide underneath. Just an inch, brushing against the bare skin of her abdomen. She leaned against him even further and when she felt his bulge against her, she just looked at him.
That broke the spell and again he appeared tense.
"C.J. I can't…"
She looked straight at him.
"Oh yes you can…I need this and so do you…"
She reached for his hand then and placed it on her chest. She kept her gaze on him so he wouldn't break away and remember where she'd placed his hand. But the more he moved his fingers on her, the more she purred.
"Oh god…"
Now she knew he had said it and his face…he looked more relaxed but his eyes still remained locked in hers.
"Let's take this to the other room okay?"
She said that softly, but her voice carried the tension of holding back from the sensations he was giving her. That familiar ache in her pelvis, she needed something to fill it, something hard and unyielding.
He shook his head.
"No…not here…not in the barn…"
She looked up at him suddenly and he removed his hand from where it had felt so good.
"Then where?"
He paused, looking agitated and she bit back a smile. What was wrong with him, she could fix.
"The empty cabin behind the barn," he said, "No one's using it."
She nodded, remembering that after Doc left last month, it had remained vacant. Oh, it would still be furnished and even cleaned up for the next tenant but no one would suspect anyone of using it.
"So you want in…"
He looked at her and stroked her face.
"Oh yeah, I want in but are you sure that's what you want?"
She stared back at him.
"Yeah isn't that just what I said?"
He looked at her intently, enough so she could make out the golden flecks in his brown eyes.
"Well you better decide now because once we get in the cabin…"
She heard what he said and her heart skipped a beat, her blood raced because she couldn't wait to meet the side of him she'd seen hints of but never met.
"It'll be my rules…"
Okay, she could deal with that because after all, he had all the experience and like he said, she had none.
"I like to be in control, are you fine with that?"
She sighed impatiently.
"Can we just leave before you change your mind again?"
He stroked a tendril of hair off of her face.
"Oh I'm not changing it," he said, "I'm giving you a chance to do that."
But no, she had no intention of doing that, not before they'd even really gotten started. She knew what she wanted on this warm summer night.
"I'm not changing it…so forget that and just focus on how badly you want me."
Oh, that made his eyes dilate as he studied her and then he deftly pushed her against the hay bale, deftly opening up her thighs with his jean clad one.
"What…"
"Just a little taste of what you're in for…"
With that, he lifted his thigh up to where her jeans cloaked her pelvis and began rubbing it back and forth…and when the sensations first reached her, she fought not to cry out. But he kept nudging up the friction bit by bit until she bit her lip, while her body throbbed.
"You like that?"
She just nodded unable to speak.
"Then just imagine me sliding in that same sweet spot, back and forth..."
She just tried to breathe while he intensified the rubbing against her crotch. When she tried to fidget, he pressed her against the bale.
"You're sure you're ready for that?"
She looked into his eyes and she wondered at that for a moment now that she knew it was time to get down and dirty.
But by that point, she only had one answer left to give him.