NERV is predictable. Kaworu and Asuka are sent to the same school Rei has been attending. He doesn't know why they bother. Maybe they're trying to have the pilots make connections with students so that they will have some reason to fight, other than for themselves. He sees familiar faces in the class but none of them really matter to him.
Asuka is flocked, though. She's beautiful and her personality is so strong. And she's competing with Rei. Something about Rei offends Asuka to the core and Kaworu doesn't understand it, but he tries to smooth the way as much as he can without taking Rei's side. Rei doesn't need his support; Asuka does.
The one familiar face he was hoping to see isn't there. No student has transferred into the class except for he and Asuka. No Shinji.
Kaworu knows Shinji exists. He knows it and now Shinji is pulling him far harder than Adam ever has. So, when he isn't training or fighting, Kaworu is searching. Public records, phone books, NERV's mainframe, anything he can get his hands on.
There's no sign of Shinji. Gendo's records are sealed tighter than he can hack through, and Kaworu gets the terrible notion that maybe Shinji perished in the event that took his mother's life.
"Come on, I need to get out of here," Asuka says one day, grabbing his hand. Her face is flushed with anger from some mistaken word of Rei's and her grip tight enough that it should have hurt. Kaworu gives a careless smile to Rei, who doesn't bother noticing, and follows along behind Asuka as he's always done.
They're free to leave school whenever they like. The school gives Eva pilots certain privileges, mostly because NERV forces the issue. So no one gives them trouble about walking right out the door. They catch a train and Kaworu isn't sure where they're going, but he isn't worried.
The aquarium surprises him a bit. It's fun to watch Asuka flit around and make faces at the fish or get offended when they swim on their way. She's cute, past all the trauma. Kaworu can admit that much. He can almost admit that he likes her.
They've been there a few hours when Kaworu's eyes are drawn to a boy in a t-shirt and wide rimmed hat. Asuka doesn't see him until they've knocked into each other and then she's on the ground, dress flipped up, and the boy is stammering an apology. Kaworu's eyes widen as his heart seizes up.
The boy's head lifts far enough to see his eyes under the hat's brim.
Shinji.
He barely hears Asuka snarl with offense at Shinji looking up her skirt, even though he really didn't. Shinji backs up, trying to apologize as Asuka comes at him. Kaworu isn't listening to what she's saying, but he notices when she almost strikes…
Asuka stares at him in mute silence. Her hand is twisted back, held in his own. Kaworu hadn't even realized he'd moved. He takes a moment to draw in a breath.
"He didn't mean it. He's sorry, right?" Kaworu finds himself saying.
"Y-yeah," Shinji responds, eyes flitting between the two of them as if they were crazy.
Asuka jerks her hand free with a grumble. "Fine. But you won't be so lucky next time, Shorty."
"Shorty?"
Asuka turns on her heel and storms off, leaving Shinji to stare awkwardly after her. Kaworu gives him a smile he only half feigns.
"Don't let her get to you. Asuka is particular." He holds out a hand, palm up. "I'm Nagisa Kaworu."
"…Rokubungi Shinji," is the quiet, tense response, but Shinji does take his hand. The surname surprises him. Kaworu figures Gendo had some reason for assigning it. Shinji regards him wearily. "You're not going to flip out like her, are you?"
Kaworu can't help but smile. "I'm not nearly as excitable."
He finally draws back his hand but doesn't want to. Shinji is so familiar to him (but almost not, in different ways) that Kaworu wants to keep hold of him tightly. That is the only thing that has not changed since Shinji somehow became so special to him.
Shifting from one foot to the other, Shinji seems to be trying to figure out how to politely leave. It's cute, enough so that Kaworu suppose he'll give him the out he so desperately wants. He can always find Shinji later, now that he knows what to look for.
"I should go after Asuka," Kaworu says quietly, giving Shinji a last smile as the boy sags with relief. "Maybe we'll see each other again."
"Maybe..." Shinji doesn't sound convinced but that's all right.
They say good bye and Kaworu goes after Asuka, who's fuming a little that it took him so long. It's easy enough to placate her.
A day later, Kaworu has Shinji's home address, histories of the older couple he lives with, and even his school records. He's a lackluster student and the couple he lives with are noted as an aunt and uncle, removed a few places. They're from Gendo's side or some kind of plant. Kaworu isn't able to connect them familially with Shinji.
Sneaking out of his NERV sanctioned apartment is easy. Kaworu makes it through town quickly enough. Shinji lives in another district and has for several years. As he moves through the night, Kaworu wonders if he knows how close to his father he is.
There is a tall, sturdy tree outside the house. Kaworu climbs it and spies into one window. The older couple sleep quietly and neither looks at all like Shinji or even Gendo. The next window over is Shinji's. He's splayed over his bed as if trying to take up as much space with his body as he can. Firmly wedged into his ears are headphones and a music player sits precariously on the pillow next to his head. He's not really relaxed, fingers twitching here and there as his brows furrow. Kaworu wishes there was a way to soothe him.
He stays there all night, just watching Shinji sleep. Kaworu knows this isn't something that will endear himself to the boy but now that he knows where Shinji was... He just can't help himself. It had been fourteen years since he'd seen Shinji. And before now, he'd been able to handle that. But Shinji is so close. So close. Kaworu can't let him go.
Most every night, Kaworu sneaks out of his apartment and goes to watch Shinji sleep. He doubts he'd be welcome to watch over him in the day. Instead, Kaworu sleeps through class and annoys the class rep, which then annoys that loud kid in the jumpsuit... Kaworu never remembers his name.
"You should stop sneaking out. It's affecting your body," Rei says as they leave school after a day. Kaworu blinks at her. He hadn't thought anyone knew. But Rei doesn't explain herself, nor does she even wait for him. Kaworu watches her go, then scratches through his hair.
Maybe she's right. It does seem silly, watching one boy sleep. But... He can't let Shinji go.
The angel attack is swift and sudden. There's barely enough time to get in the Evas before its on them. Kaworu thinks he hears Yui grumble but she doesn't fight him and Unit 01 lifts away at his command.
It's disconcerting to fight against his own kind. Kaworu had forgotten that, forgotten the feeling of wrongness that permeates his heart and what of a soul he has. He can hear the soul wrenching screams of pain and fury as each blow lands, feel the pain as if it were his own. His anguish is strong and terrifying.
His resolve is stronger.
Kaworu has kept tabs over what part of the city they're destroying. He's close to Shinji, closer than he wants to be, but every attempt he's made to turn the fight elsewhere has failed. All he can do is hope Shinji has gone to a shelter and that the shelter is strong.
Ahead of him, Asuka gives out a shriek as she comes down on the Angel's back ( "Shamshel" supplies Kaworu's memory and he hurts for knowing his brother). There's a moment of blinding pain and then Kaworu barely manages to shut off his connection to like kind before he attacks. He and Asuka are well suited to combat, well suited to fighting together. He finds it easy to fill in the holes of her defensive guard, though less easy to watch himself. That doesn't matter. Asuka matters.
"Pick up the pace, Blondie!" she yells over the comm. and Kaworu can't help smiling at the tease. He responds quickly, driving Shamshel back a pace so she has a better shot for disabling him.
And then Shamshel looks at him and Kaworu feels his heart go cold. Shamshel can feel him. Recognizes him. In that moment, Kaworu feels a wave of revulsion for everything he is and all he has ever done.
It's all the time Shamshel needs. Kaworu barely hears Asuka's scream before the impact knocks him out. He jolts awake after what seems like a second, but now he's on the ground and 01 is screaming around him (Yui is screaming around him) and Asuka's voice is so loud over the comm. and yet breaking off in spurts and sputters and he can barely hear it anyway because there is pain, so much pain-
He hardly registers what's going on, what's making 01 rock and jerk the way it is because his eyes are being ripped out, his arms are broken, his insides are torn and he can't shut down the connection, Yui will not let him abandon her to this agony-
Something ruptures and the pain stops. Kaworu hears nothing. He stares out for a moment of strong, brilliant clarity, free of pain and anguish and guilt. He sees Shamshel over him, sees Asuka's white face, sees the rubble of the city around them. And for that one single second, he knows he's going to die but it's all right. He can sense this timeline folding in on itself. It had failed before he was born, doomed, and it would start with his death. With Shamshel's victory.
Shinji, too, would die as Shamshel raged rampant in his district.
No!
A strength Kaworu doesn't know he has floods his mangled body – their body. He feels Yui rising around him, giving him what dredges of power she can muster because she knows what's at stake. She knows what he knows as their minds and intentions blur into one.
His arm cracks as it repairs itself, setting broken bone and mangled muscle. His knife comes easily to his hand and he feels no shame as he sinks the blade deep within Shamshel's skull. And then his strength fails as Shamshel's lifeless form falls upon him.
Kaworu feels the armor crack and the sudden compressive smash as the entry plug ruptures. He closes his eyes, feels the faint caress of Yui's hand against his cheek, and then it's over.