Chapter 4

The blonde paced around the room, deep in thought.

Just what exactly was he going to do? Milly was coming to Aprillius One tomorrow, expecting to have coffee with him and his girlfriend. If he knew one little lie was going to cause him this much trouble, he would have never told it. But he didn't, and it was too late to be regretting it now. What he needed was a plan, and fast.

He bit his lower lip. If he could find a girl who fitted his description and was willing to lie for him then all of his problems would be solved. But where the hell was he going to find someone like that? Dearka was excellent with the ladies, but he wasn't a miracle worker.

He felt a sudden overwhelming sense of panic. He swallowed nervously, attempting to calm down his nerves.

Right... He told himself silently.

He couldn't afford to freak out now. There wasn't any time for that.

First, before he did anything else, he needed to recall just what exactly he told her that night…

"She's wonderful. I think I'm falling for her."

"Oh…" she was quiet for a moment. "What is she like?"

Dearka paused before saying in an exaggerated voice. "She's everything I've ever wanted: beautiful, smart, fun…maybe a little too stubborn for comfort sometimes, but she's wonderful." He felt like throwing up as those words left his mouth. No one could ever compare to Millalia. This was the biggest bullshit in the world.

"You sound really happy with her, Dearka. I'm glad…" Her voice sounded forced.

However, the blonde was determined to continue. "My parents are really happy with her. Her family is very influential in the political world. My old man was so excited about it that he went to her father to negotiate a marriage arrangement. I told him it was too early for that, but he didn't listen. Imagine my embarrassment when I saw her the next time." He chuckled.

Dearka wanted to slap himself. By saying all of that, he basically dug his own grave. What on earth was he thinking? Just where exactly was he going to find a girl like that? A damn politician's daughter…why couldn't he come up with something less impossible to find?

He sighed in exasperation. Lacus Clyne was the only name that came to mind, but that wouldn't work. She's with Kira, Milly knew that well enough. But more than that, he didn't want to face Freedom's pilot's wrath.

Dearka felt as if he was forgetting something… or someone… as a matter of fact.

His mind slowly made a connection.

Wrath…anger…Yzak…………Emera…

He cringed. He wished he hadn't thought of that. Emera Leitner was beautiful, there's no denying that, but she was unmistakably Yzak's. He didn't dare to think what would happen to him if he suggested borrowing his best friend's fiancée for a day.

He shuddered. Suffice to say the outcome wouldn't be good. He quickly named that the backup plan. He was going to avoid this scenario as best as possible.

The ex-pilot of Buster waited nervously in the parking lot, suddenly finding the hem of his shirt interesting.

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to ask his best friend the most bizarre question that probably would ever come out of his mouth—which basically summarized how dreadful it was, considering Dearka typically said a lot of stupid things.

He suddenly felt an urge to bang his head against his car door. It wasn't too late to turn around now. The meeting was still in session. He had the time. But if he really did take that way out, he would be forced to suffer the humiliation of telling Milly the truth.

He winced.

No, that wasn't an option. He would rather get beat up by his best friend than tell Millialia he had lied to her. He couldn't stand the thought of seeing the appalled expression on her face.

His words had hurt her that night; he knew they would before they even left his mouth. But he couldn't help it. He was angry with her and her selfishness. The stubborn girl single handedly decided that they were better off alone than with each other.

He smiled bitterly.

She didn't even bother asking how he felt about everything. She just broke up with him without a single warning. He thought she was happy with him, but he thought wrong.

A humorless chuckle left his mouth as his hand formed a tight fist.

She caught his attention at first glance. That day, when he was captured by the Archangel, he saw her.

Even then, he thought she was beautiful, but her face wasn't what caught his attention—it was her eyes. They were filled with pain and unspoken anger—they were of someone who understood the reality of war.

He would be lying if he said he didn't wonder what her anger was directed toward.

Was it him? Did he do something? He remembered thinking.

But he would soon find out.

The words he said that day when he saw her in the infirmary drove her to the edge of insanity…yet despite everything, she still chose to save his life.

Her eyes were what first caught his attention, but her kindness and her willingness to forgive were what he fell in love with. From that moment on, he couldn't forget her.

He started to look forward to meal times, because that's when he would see her. She brought him food each day when nobody else would. She talked to him like he was human. The two of them quarreled a lot, but Dearka enjoyed their brief conversations nonetheless.

In those short weeks, he fell head over heels for her.

For her sake, he betrayed ZAFT… his comrades…his friends… and even his home.

At one point, he really thought they would be together forever…

But now, he realized he was just a fool struck by love. The two of them had no future together. He was blind to have not grasped that.

He couldn't have stayed in Orb forever. PLANT was his home—the place where he belonged. He had to return sooner or later. There was no escaping that.

Millilia…she… didn't belong in PLANT. She was a natural. Who was he kidding if he said she would enjoy living in a world meant for coordinators? Millialia had lost too much in the war. He couldn't take her away from the people who loved her…

She too knew they had no future together. That's why she broke up with him.

Dearka could clearly see her reasons now, but when she first told him they needed to make a clean break, he was enraged. How could she make that decision alone? Didn't he have a say in this? She just looked at him with her determined eyes, silently telling him her mind was not going to change. Everything was over between them.

He hated her then. He hated her for doing that to him. He wanted nothing more than to make her to feel the same pain that he felt.

That same bitterness drove him to lie to her on their phone call a few months after. He was being childish then.

He sincerely regrets ever saying them, but it's not like regret ever does anything.

The only thing he could do now was hide the truth from her. It would be better this way—for both of them.

Yzak stared at him as if he had grown a second head. He made an attempt to clean his ears before asking in a shaky voice. "Dearka, could you repeat that? I think I heard you wrong."

"Can I borrow your fiancée for a day, Yzak? I swear I'll never ask anything of you ever again." Dearka begged, a serious expression plastered onto his face.

The ex-pilot of Duel was silent for a moment, his jaw slightly open from shock and disbelief. "Dearka, this is not funny. Quit it already." He said in irritation.

"I'm not joking, Yzak. As weird as this sounds, I really do mean it."

Emera blinked. This was crazy. Actually, to be more accurate, this was downright insane. Well, she always knew the blonde was a bit touched in the head, but…this was too much, even for him.

Before either she or the blonde could say anything, a flying fist struck Dearka squarely on the jaw. The impact sent him back a couple of steps before he lost his balance and landed on the floor. Dearka brought a hand to touch his bruised cheek.

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about!" Yzak barked through clenched teeth. His fist still raised.

"Milly's coming to PLANT tomorrow." Dearka retorted, not budging from his spot on the floor. "I… lied to her when I told her I had a girlfriend. You know I don't, Yzak. I can't tell her the truth. She'll hate me—"

"How is your own damn stupidity screwing yourself over any of my business?" The silver haired man demanded. "You can't just borrow someone's fiancée for a day! Life doesn't work like that!"

"I'm begging you, Yzak." The blonde pleaded, a hint of desperation in his voice. "I can't let her find out. This is the least I can do… I've caused her too much heartache already. She's probably finally moved on now. I can't just—"

He trailed off, unsure of the point he's trying to get across. Just who was he doing this for—her or himself?

"Why…me?" The light blue haired girl finally found her voice. "Can't you ask someone else?"

He bit his lips. "I told her a bloody politician's daughter. It's either you or Lacus Clyne. Milly knows Lacus. It wouldn't work."

"Right…" Emera answered weakly. She paused before adding, "I don't want to get involved in your personal life, Dearka. We're practically strangers. Even if I'm willing to put on an act in front of this poor unsuspecting girl, I don't think Yzak's going to agree to it."

"No, I'm not." He said breathlessly, his eyes never leaving his best friend for a single moment. "Where the hell do you get your damn crazy ideas from?"

He shrugged. "I've thought a lot about it. I don't have a lot of options. I wouldn't have asked you if there was any other choice. I know you, Yzak. I knew this was going to happen. You have no idea how many fucking times I wanted to turn around and leave this stinking place. I didn't though, because I know I had to at least try."

"If that natural girl means that much to you, then why the hell did you come back to PLANT in the first place?" He demanded. His face was slightly pink from anger.

Dearka was silent for a moment. Why did he come back to PLANT? Was it because of his family? His friends? They were a part of it…but what really drove to make his decision was…

"I didn't belong there, Yzak." He said curtly. "I look at them, and I feel out of place. They're all so damn normal. There wasn't any room for me. I wanted her to come to PLANT with me… but it was too much to ask for. She had a life there. She didn't want to give it up."

No one spoke.

Emera swallowed. Was agreeing to Dearka's demands really going to help him? From the look of things, he was still in love with this girl. Pretending to be his girlfriend could only make things worse. "You still want to be with her, Dearka. Showing up with me tomorrow would only get you further from where you want to be."

He looked at her in the eyes. He answered bitterly, "Don't you think I know that? But there is no other choice. I don't belong in Orb, and she doesn't belong in PLANT. There's nothing either of us can do about that. Sometimes we just have to move on."

"Will this really help you do that?" Yzak asked suggestively. "Will Emera doing this really help you get over her?"

Dearka was silent. This was a question he tried to avoid asking himself.

"No, it wouldn't." The silver haired man continued. "You're only doing this because you want to eliminate any chance the two of you still have together. You know there is no future, so you're giving up permanently, and you want her to do that too. If you want to lie to me, that's fine. But you should at least be honest to yourself."

The blonde was stunned. He stared at him awestruck.

"If you want to take Emera for a day, it's fine with me." He turned the other way, as a wave emotion that Dearka couldn't identify rushed to his face. "It's really her decision though."

After a moment of silence, the blunette finally said in defeat. "I'm not sure if I can get out of the meeting tomorrow… you know how the situation with the Supreme Council is. But I'll try my best."

Dearka couldn't believe his ears. Did the two of them just agree to this?

"Thanks ...I think." He gave them a weak smile. "I owe you one."

"You do. You owe me a lot for this..." The girl told him sternly. "My mother is going to give me hell for trying to bail out of the meeting."