So I haven't updated recently... Or at all really... I plead the 5th. Anyway, here are two juicy new chapters for you to enjoy.
Chapter 4 -- Iqra
I love Halloween, the dressing up, the candy, the way teachers don't do much. Though, I got to say my favorite thing about Halloween is seeing what other people wear. Let's see so far in this class we have some hillbillies, a cross dressing tarot card reader whom I am assuming is Shawn, and couple of people in business suits who may or may no be dressed up. I can't tell.
"Good afternoon, class," Mr. Sutherland half-shouted over the din the rest of the class was making. I exchanged a grin with Lily, sugar plus pretty much anyone male in this class equals, well, not good. Why isn't she dressed up? I thought she was planning on doing something. "All right, quiet down. We have a few things to do this period."
"No, we don't," Tony cried, interrupting him. Ever since that party incident, Mr. Sutherland has calmed down, or grew up. I haven't decided yet. He lets Tony's and the rest of the crew's snide comments roll off him now, instead of taking them to heart. I think he was bullied a lot as child…
"Yes, we do," Mr. Sutherland replied, not blinking an eye. "Today, we are working on TP-CASTT. Now, who can tell me what it stands for? Irqa?" He looked at me. "What are you supposed to be a terrorist?"
That is not something you are supposed to say to someone of Middle Eastern descent. "I'm an assassin."
"Mr. Sutherland, do you know how not politically correct that was?" Lily asked.
Mr. S turned red, that bright tomato red that they talk about in all the books. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"I think she could sue you for that," Sirius said. Juliet sighed. Give up, sweetie. He's never going to go out with you. Just pick a boy and stay with him. Sirius or Romeo, I don't care, but you don't need to be rejected in public. Take that back. Keep it up. It will be hilarious when they both rejected you.
"I'm sorry. I didn't release… Uh, can you tell me what T stands for?"
"Title," I replied.
"Correct, how about P, Peter?"
"Uhhh," he stutters, "Paraphrase." Peter has always struck me as a bit of slimy child. Maybe slimy wasn't the right word, he's no Severus, underhanded maybe?
"Good. Why aren't you dressed up?" Mr. Sutherland queried. Peter turned red.
"Maybe because he is a mature senior," Gus stated. He wasn't dressed up either. For that matter, neither was Sirius, Tony, James, Remus, or Abby. Kate wasn't either, but I expected that from her. Those five, six, seven if you count Lily, not so much.
Mr. Sutherland nods, "Can anyone tell me what C stands for, Gus?"
"Connotation." Gus is a suck up. He is. He wants teachers to like him so desperately that they begin to get scared of him. I heard rumors that one of elementary school teachers filed a restraining order against after he showed up at her house. And then he does something stupid with Shawn and we are back to the beginning.
"Right. Abby, can you tell what A stands for?"
Abby has a mind I can relate to, all dark and creepy. She is the only happy Goth I have ever met. "Attitude," she replies without looking up.
He nods, "Goneril, how about S?"
"Shifts." She dressed up as a hillbilly. Somehow I find this fitting. She and her twin and Juliet and M.E. and Ophelia all dressed up as hillbillies. I'm surprised they didn't do something sluttier. I guess they wanted to remain school appropriate… for once.
"Good, good. Now who knows what the first T stands for?" Mr. Sutherland asked. He is so setting himself up.
"Why are we starting over? We already did the first T. It stands for title," Sirius answered with an implied duh at the end.
"I meant the second first T. Sirius why don't you answer." Mr. Sutherland has to learn you can't be too literal in this class.
"Because that makes much more sense, since it also means title."
"And the last T stands for, Ophelia?" He ignores Sirius' little comment.
"Theme."
"Alright, today I found some theme poems for us to practice TP-CASTT on. The first poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe." He begins to hand out copies of the poem. Juliet was too busy staring at Sirius to take the pile, so I dumped it on her desk. "I have to say I am slightly disappointed with you guys. I figured that you guys would go all out for Halloween." Because we go all out for pretty much everything else. We've been fairly calm lately. He should see us during rugby season. "Kate, what does the title mean to you?"
"That a giant bird will come and eat me," Kate replied straight faced. This was not the answer Mr. Sutherland was looking for.
"Okay," he replied. "Tim, why don't you read us the first stanza out loud?" Being specific is a good idea.
"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more," Tim reads and then glances at the clock.
"Alright, who wants to paraphrase that?" Nobody raises their hands. "Lily?"
"Uh…" Saved by the cell phone going off to the Justice League theme song. Don't ask how I know, just blame my friends.
"Shut that off," Mr. Sutherland whines.
James answers instead, "Yes Mr. President… This is he… No, it's not a bad time… Lex Luthor and the Joker have paired up and are trying to destroy Sunnydale High School?... Of course, we will. Superman out." He snaps the phone shut and rips off his shirt. No, it's not as nice as it sounds. He reveals Superman outfit underneath, complete with a cape. "Justice League assemble."
Sirius stands up, revealing his Batman costume. Tony is the Martian, otherwise known as J'onn J'onzz. Abby is Hawkgirl complete with wings and the mace. Peter, kind of surprising but not really since he practically worships Sirius and James and sadly isn't the only one, coughShawncough, is Green Lantern. Remus, another sort of surprised but not really since I normally consider him above pranks but hey, it's Halloween, is the Flash. The actual surprise is Lily who is playing the role of Wonder Woman. I wonder how James got her to do this, especially since everyone knows that she (Wonder Woman) ends up with Batman. I must ask her about this… later.
"Let's go team. We must protect the school from destruction," Superman shouted as he marched to the door with the rest of the Justice League following him.
"What do you think you're going?" Mr. Sutherland asks. He is very pale. I wonder if he will faint. I also wonder if he realized that he challenged them by saying nobody did anything for Halloween.
"To save the school," replied Flash. He sounded so serious that Mr. Sutherland blinked a few times. Remus was like that. He had such a good boy image that teachers normally believed what ever he said. It didn't matter how many times he got caught doing something stupid with Sirius and James, he was still a "good kid." Even when it's his idea to spray paint the teacher's lounge in red and gold.
As they move to leave, Shawn cries, "Superman, I am here." He rips off his gypsy outfit to reveal… I have no idea. He had a bald wig on and a suit. I was kind of expecting something more exciting.
"Lex Luthor! How did you get in here?" Superman exclaimed. Oh…
"I walked through the front door."
"Oh no, not the door," cried Green Lantern. "That's how we got in."
"And how you will get out," the Martian continued. The rest of the Justice League looked at him. "I doubt the class would appreciate if we broke window." Well, it is pretty gross outside. Sleeting maybe, or just that wonderful wintery mix that weather people always preach about. It better clear up later. I want to go tricker-or-treating."
"Lex, you shall not harm the students in this school. Come quietly now and save yourself the trouble," Superman ordered.
Lex doesn't, "NEVER!" and pulls out a nerf gun; at least I assume it is a nerf gun. It's covered with construction paper and glitter, lots of glitter. "With my Freeze-orama ray, I will not be defeated..."
"Superman," Batman shouts over the end of Lex's speech, "Superman, SUPERMAN!" Superman tears his eyes off Lex. Puppy crush, anyone? "We forgot about one!"
"Who?" Superman replies, looking confused. Me, too. I look around the room. Oh… "The Joker... He's your problem." Tim's costume had transformed from a blue fuzzy Elf-lord into the Joker complete with the make up. I have no idea how he managed to do that up in the past two minutes… I don't think I want to know.
"Batman, you will never stop us from destroying this school," he shouted madly. "We set up bombs around the room and…" He pulls out another gun. "… we are armed." Batman started towards him. "No, no, no. You wouldn't want me to shoot any of these nice people with my control beam. They will fall under my control FOREVER and there isn't anything you can do about it." Batman takes another step and reaches into his utility belt. "Bad Batman, you loose a person." He aims and fires, hitting Dwayne. "Rise my minion. Attack Flash!" Dwayne gets up jerkily and moved towards Remus.
"Stop, man. You don't want do that. I'm just your friendly neighborhood Flash," Flash cried as he ran circles around Dwayne.
"I need more minions," Joker cried. "Lex, freeze the Justice League and with our minions we will bring down the school… Did you remember to set the bombs?"
"Of course, Joker. I am not an incompetent fool," Lex replied coolly. "Of course, I set the bombs. They are set to go off in five minutes."
"You put bombs in school filled with innocent children? I can't believe you, Lex," Superman commented sounding hurt. He began to advance towards Lex.
"Innocent children? Have you heard the locker room talk? They deserve to get themselves blown up," replied Lex. "Now, I'll stop the Justice League, You gain us minions." He shoots Tony who freezes.
"JON," Superman screams as he jumps over Ophelia to get him. Lex has good aim as Superman crashes across the desk. Ophelia looks shocked, for putting on a mindless expression as a mind-control bullet hits her. She pushes Superman to the floor begins to guard him, snarling at Hawkgirl as she tries to retrieve his body.
"Come on, Bats. If you push this little button, you'll reverse the minions back to their normal sheep like state… as long as you do it in the next five minutes. But you can do, you can do anything." Batman jumps over M.E.'s desk missing the Joker by inches. "That's cheating." He takes a quick step back and shoots again, this time hitting… me. Should I play along? Mr. Sutherland still looks like he is on to much shock to actually do anything. I get up jerkily. "Minion, destroy the Justice League. Attack Wonder Woman." I lumber towards Lily. She tosses her lasso around me. I struggle but remain contained. All around me the battle rages. The entire class has been hit by Joker's mind control bullets and for once all are actually playing along, even Kate. Mr. Sutherland is still in shock. By this time next year, he'll be one of those completely unflappable teachers. For now, he's still fun.
"I got Superman. I got Superman," the Joker sung. Superman had managed to unfreeze himself by using his heat vision. No joke, a red flashing light was attacked to his glasses. Wait, he's wearing glasses, does that mean he's Clark Kent again? Whatever, anyway. Now he has one of the bullets sticking out his shoulder . "Attack Batman. Bring him down. Bring him down!" I look to see what happen to the other Justice League members. All but Green Lantern, who is currently surrounded by minions, are frozen.
"Joker, you are going down," Batman commanded. He chucked a Baterang at Lex's gun disabling it. Turning on his heel and dodging Dwayne's lunge, he tackled Joker sending the gun flying towards Green Lantern, who in turn sends out a green beam and brought the gun to him.
"Disable it, GL! I'll take care of the clown." A red bolt whizzes past his head. "And Superman." He reaches into his utility belt and pulls out a glowing green rock. Superman clutches his heart and falls over.
"I pushed the disable button on the gun. The minions should be returning to normal any second now," Peter cried across the room. Taking the cue, I shake myself and rub my face as if coming out of a dream. Other around me do the same.
"What did you do that for, Bats?" Superman asked still shaking from the kryptonite.
"Besides proving that Batman could take Superman in a fight any day, it allowed me not to have all my bones broken. Now, if you when to round up your arch-nemesis, I'll go get mine. GL, can you unfreeze everyone," Batman commanded. They all got busy. We, the minions, stood around awkwardly not quite sure what we were supposed to be doing.
"Did you get the bombs?" Flash asked. A superhero who truly cares, how sweet. I had forgotten about the bombs. How long were they set for?
"No, that's your job," Batman didn't bother to look up. He had managed to corner the Joker and was trying to puzzle out the best way to contain him. Superman was having the same problem with Lex.
"Aye, aye, sir!" He ran around the room defusing the bombs that I hadn't noticed before. I sat in my chair. Anything was better than standing randomly in front of the teacher's desk when I'm not quite sure how he will respond.
The pause in the activity seemed to wake Mr. Sutherland. He looked at the clock and looked at them mess we managed to make. "The bell is going to ring soon. I want this room to be spotless by that time or you all will have detentions for the rest of year."
"School year or year year?" Sirius pondered.
"School year," Mr. Sutherland replied. We went about picking up the desks and chairs and straightening out the rows. M. E. began to clean the white board while James and Sirius pulled out some brooms and swept up the floor. It was really quiet. The bell rang harshly in the silence. We filed out just as quiet.
"That was very good, boys," Mr. Sutherland said quietly as they left. James and Sirius grin. I realize I never asked Lily why she agreed to dress up with them. Maybe because she's finally softening to James or because Sirius asked her pretty please. Nobody can resist his puppy eyes. Or maybe she remembered its senior year, last chance for fun. I'll ask her Monday.