A big thanks for your suggestions on Rolanda´s fears!

I am so so sorry for letting you wait so long, I was somewhere else with my head and just could not find a way to continue, but now I have and I am trying my best to continue ASAP :)

I hope you all like this chapter :)

Rolanda´s eyes snapped open as she felt a stabbing pain flashing through her body. She shivered and felt how her body extremities started to shake uncontrollable as pictures started to flood into her mind and she began to see scenes in front of her even with her eyes wide open...

The Irish National Team was stripped off its World Title because the Official Referee Committee of Quidditch had recognised that she had done some illegal moves during the game – therefore she was removed from the National Hall of Fame – one of her greatest achievements.

The whole staff turned to her, calling her names and then Albus stepped forward, saying:"You are incompetent and therefore unbearable for a school like Hogwarts! You are fired!"

"We never want to see you again! I am so disappointed!", Filius said and Minerva turned to her as well, grinning:"You were such a fool to believe that you were friends with anyone of us! We are happy when you´re gone!"

Her friends, her family rejecting her, pushing her away...

She was running through a dark forest, every breath was hurting in her chest and fear and adrenaline raced through her veins. She heard them or it close behind her, a foul and hot breath brushing against her neck, fingertips of grabbing hands... hunted.

"You are a nothing, Rolanda. How ridiculous of you to believe that I could ever return your foolish feelings!", Severus said, grinning evilly at her. "You measly woman, you told me every secret about the order because you thought that I was feeling the same...You did not even see that I only used you in all these years! We were never friends!"

Betrayal. So much lies. Being laughed at because of her feelings. Her feelings...

Rolanda cried out loudly, her nails scratching over the stone floor as her biggest fear was mercilessly brought to her mind – she had always had the fear to be rejected, but it would be far worse to be rejected by someone who she harboured secret feelings for. But this revelation did not hurt as much as she had thought it would – because she had already thought about the possibility that Severus had only acted as if they were friends. To be honest, she had thought about this since he had left Hogwarts after the murder of Dumbledore and she had kind of found her peace with that thought, even though it was hard to accept it.

Severus clenched his fists so tight that his nails were digging into the flesh of his palms while he watched Rolanda tossing around in her tied up position, eyes wide open and filling with tears, but her gaze was unfocused. The feeling of guilt inside him increased even more as he watched her, being so vulnerable and he had caused this with his own hands. And he would have to make it even worse, she would have to bear pain that could kill her or drive her insane because it was more then the average human body was able to withstand.

Once again he cursed his past, he cursed Albus for this goddamn mission and he also cursed Rolanda because she had to take on this damn Gryffindor bravery from Minerva, Poppy and Albus and add it to her brilliant Ravenclaw mind, making her join the Order to probably give her life for nothing. At least it was more honourable then being a death eater, it was the right side she had chosen – but were had this decision directed her?! Right into the claws of the evil, right into one of the centres of the danger. He was sure that she would, as soon as she would regain full consciousness, ask herself if the pain, the tears and the horrors were all worth it, like he had done so many times before.

Rolanda asked herself how much longer the potion would last as the pictures suddenly stopped being forced to her inner eye and her tensed muscles loosened, burning as if she had run a marathon. She could not control the shaking of her body and she could not stand feeling so helpless, so vulnerable. Surely Severus would be feeling triumphant right now and she closed her eyes, not willing to see him bathing in it.