Shelly's Note:

Yeah, hate me whatever, I had a seizure in January, I had a tons of doctors appointments because of that and I had a social to plan earlier in February and I have a One Act to direct and pull together by March 5 so please after all the homework I have put on top of that and trying to have at least somewhat of a life on top of it I think it should be somewhat understandable why I haven't updated in so long...Also this would have been updated on 2/22 but every time I clicked login I got a thing that said login/submission is down

Chapter 4: How I Feel

Sasuke was not one to make rash decisions, nor was she one to freak out, but when she did, Neji knew about it because he got the call at two in the morning.

"Hello?" Neji's sleepy voice answered.

"Neji, I did something tonight, that I should have never have done," Sasuke said in a panicked voice.

"Slow down, and just tell me what happened," Neji said as he came to his senses.

Sasuke took a deep breath, "Okay, well...I kind of agreed to go out with someone tomorrow night."

Neji stiffened, "And who would that person be?"

"Naruto," said with a sigh.

"Sasuke! What the hell?" he said, obviously annoyed.

"No one will see us, he promised, but I'm freaked out, I need talking to!"

"You need something alright," he growled.

"That's not helping Neji!" she snapped as she collapsed on her bed.

"I'm sorry it's just my secret...what if someone catches you?"

"Then I look like a cheating hypocrite!" she glared.

"You two need a story ahead of time just in case so both sides can release the same story at the same time. Or better yet you need to not go. Remember what I told you?"

"That's a great idea Neji!" Sasuke said as she sat up.

Neji smirked, "I know. You should go."

"If were here I'd hug you. And that's not the idea I meant, I'll just have a story prepared."

"Right," he said as he rolled his eyes. "But really, what about what I told you?"

"I don't know...I have to follow my instincts on this and obviously my instinct said yes," she said and he could hear the guilt in her voice.

"Okay calm down, just write something, that has always calmed you down," he said, feeling guilty for lying to her.

"I don't know if my acoustic is even in my room, it'd have to be in my closet or under my bed."

"That's sad Sasuke," he said disapprovingly.

"Once I got my newest one I put my old one away for safe keeping, now I don't remember where."

"That's real safe."

"Shut up," she growled.

"Then can I go to bed?"

"Yeah, fine, thanks," she sighed.

"Get some sleep Sasuke," he said sincerely.

"I'll try."

"Good."

"Night."

"Good night," he said before hanging up.

She threw her phone across her bed, no longer in the mood to talk to anyone. 'When did life get so complicated?'

Sasuke sat down at her desk and closed her eyes, 'Where did you last see your guitar? Where did you last see your guitar? Visualize where you last saw your guitar.' The dark haired girl concentrated on where she may have put the musical extension of herself.

After what felt like a few minutes, though was more a few seconds, she gave up, 'This is pointless!'

She let out a deep sigh and looked around her room. It seemed like every day her parents added a new thing to her room that made it feel less like her room and more like their room. It wasn't that she didn't like the attention and acceptance from her parents; it was just that none of it felt real, none of it felt like it was really for her. Everything that she had felt like it could be ripped away at any moment.

The dark haired girl grabbed her writing pad, and wrote down How I Feel in bold, scratchy letters.

I feel fake.

I feel like I don't always belong.

I feel like I have it easy...or it seems like I do.

I feel like people shouldn't ask me how I feel.

I feel unconnected.

I feel rejected all the time.

I feel like I'm drowning.

I feel like I'm going down.

I feel like I'm coming undone.

I feel like I don't know what happiness is anymore.

I feel like I got into the business too early sometimes.

I feel like everything I love is coming down.

I feel like everyone is looking through me.

I feel like I'm being changed too much.

I feel like I'm being controlled too much.

I feel like a smiling face, nothing of real substance.

That's how I feel...

Sasuke stared at the page. Her feelings, they weren't something that she really liked to talk about, but maybe they were something she could write about, thus began search for her guitar and the start of the writing process.

Sasuke was bored. Bored wouldn't even describe how bored she was, because there wasn't a single word for it. It felt as if she was sitting through listening through someone read the dictionary and time had frozen, yet the person kept reading, only worse. In reality she was only sitting through a meeting with her parents and manager, yet again, only this one wasn't expected and she had very little sleep.

"What exactly is this meeting for?" Sasuke snapped.

"You'll be turning eighteen soon, I need to know what is going to happen about your financial set up," Kakashi explained.

"Well, most of it was going into a trust fund for me for when I turned eighteen anyways right?"

"Yes."

"That trust fund is going to be put into my bank account that I currently have the rest of the money going into correct?" Sasuke asked, obviously annoyed.

"Then wouldn't it be logical that the money would go into said bank account when I turn eighteen?" she glared.

"I'm just doing my job by making sure."

"This really is a pointless meeting, you should be capable of knowing that it would go there," she snapped.

"Someone is in drama queen mode today," he snapped back.

"Sasuke, you should be more respectful," Sasuke's father said.

"You're right, I'm sorry father," she said as she looked down. "Now if that is all that we have to discuss, I do have other plans today."

"With who?"

"A song writer, I'm having trouble writing my latest song and I wanted an opinion," she replied, knowing he'd ask. "He's not well known, but I think it may give a nice sound to the CD."

"Okay, you know what time you have to be back by."

"I know home by ten when you don't know them," Sasuke said as she walked out of the door.

Sasuke, disguised with dark sunglasses, her hair pulled back, and dressed in every day clothing made her way to where she was supposed to be meeting Naruto. The girl was getting impatient as she felt at any moment someone might recognize her, or a camera might flash and her look would be in the next tabloid.

"You don't have to look so nervous," Naruto said to the girl who was noticeably trying too hard to fit in.

"Shut up, I'm not use to sneaking around like this," she said in a hushed voice.

"Then act natural. You know like an actual person, and maybe people won't notice you."

"Excuse me?" she glared, though through the darkness of the glasses you couldn't see.

"The more nervous you look the more noticeable it will be that it's you," he smirked.

"Shut up, just because you're not famous enough as to where you have to put on some kind of cover doesn't mean you have to be bitter toward those of us that do," she snapped.

"I'm not bitter. When I am famous, I won't hide like a little chicken," he growled.

"Oh, you are so winning me over with your charm right now, please hold me back, I can hardly contain myself from jumping you," she said sarcastically.

He glared at her, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"That so far, you're wasting my time, and not showing me anything."

"Oh, you just wait, I'll show you something," he smirked as he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards a car.

"Oh, by the way if we're seen together, you're helping me write a song," Sasuke said.

"Why's that?" he asked with a lifted eyebrow.

"It's what I told my parents I was doing," she shrugged.

"Oh," he said.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Well," he said. "First, we're going to my car, then it's a surprise," the blonde grinned.

"You know I'm not big on surprises," she sighed.

He rolled his eyes and opened the car door, "Just get in."

"Oh, what a gentleman," she said sarcastically.

"For such a lady," he said just as sarcastically.

"You know I could just go home," she said as she got in.

"Once in the car, no turning back," he said as he shut the door.

"Is that what kidnappers say?"

"Technically wouldn't I be an abductor if I made you go against your will, since you're not really a kid?" he smirked triumphantly.

She rolled her eyes, "Does the technical term really matter if everyone knows what you're talking about? And really wouldn't a kidnapper just be a type of abductor?"

He laughed, "No I guess it doesn't matter and I still don't think that you would be counted as a kid."

"That wasn't my question though," she smirked.

"Shut up," he pouted, causing her to chuckle.

"So tell me, where are we going?"

"I told you, it's a surprise," he said as he started to drive.

"And I told you that I hate surprises, therefore you should tell me."

"Or, you could get over yourself," he smirked.

Naruto and Sasuke pulled up to a small lake after a long drive. It was a secluded, hidden lake that seemed to be a place that if you didn't know it was already there or if you didn't happen to stumble upon it, you'd never even know it was there.

"We're here," he smiled.

"A lake?"

"Yep, I love this lake, I come here all the time, well when I get the chance to," Naruto said as he got out of the car.

"Oh? Do you bring all the girls here?"

"Actually," he said as he got close to her, as if he were going to kiss her, "I don't usually like to bring many people here that means sharing it." The blonde pulled away from her and she could feel her heart racing what felt like a million miles per an hour.

"Oh," she said, knowing she was blushing, turning away from him.

"Come on, let's go down by the lake," he said as he grabbed her hand once again, though this time she felt more affected by it. 'Damn it, I can't feel like this toward him!' What if he is just like this with all the girls? What if I'm just another girl?'

Naruto and Sasuke sat by the lake for a while, talking about things that Sasuke didn't think that she would really talk about with him. They mostly talked about things that weren't important, but were the small things, like each of their favorite colors and movies, and she actually didn't hate it, which was probably the biggest surprise to her. He had taken off the jacket he had been wearing earlier that day and given it to her when he noticed that she got cold.

"What made you do pop music?" he asked.

"My parents," she sighed.

"They make you do everything huh?"

"They control my career."

"Why do you let them?"

"If I push them away then I push them right to my brother, he's always been the favorite, I mean being a girl and being second born I wasn't even wanted I had to make myself something in my parents eyes and so making me something they could market was making me something they could love," Sasuke said as a vulnerable sadness filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I never really knew my parents, so I don't know what they were like, I was in an orphanage until I was adopted by Tsunade and Jiraiya, they taught me everything I know about music," Naruto said with a small smile.

Sasuke brought her knees to her chest, "Can I ask you something?"

"Well you just did, but yeah go ahead."

"Well, Neji told me something about you and it's been kind of bothering me all day and so I'm wondering if it's true..." Sasuke started.

"What did he say?"

"He said that you always have a line for girls and that you go with a lot of sluts and girls who aren't the highest class and the only reason you're talking to me is because you're probably looking for a challenge," Sasuke said with a frown.

Naruto gaped, "He actually said that? Gaara said he was going to do this."

"What?" Sasuke asked obviously confused.

"Gaara said Neji doesn't like getting things in the way of his plans, like I am, so he's making up lies about me."

"I can't believe Neji," Sasuke said.

"Let's not think about that right now," Naruto said.

She sighed, "I just can't believe he'd be so desperate to keep his secret, he's so getting an earful."

The blonde got up, and ran quickly to the car, causing the dark haired girl to yell, "Where are you going?"

"Stay there, I'll be right back!"

The already mad girl got even more annoyed as she let out a sigh. A few minutes later Naruto reappeared with an acoustic guitar in hand.

"Why'd you bring back a guitar?" she asked.

"It always helps me relax, plus you said we're supposed to be writing a song," he grinned.

"Supposed is the key word."

"Come on, it'll be fun," he smiled.

"I've already written one song today, I don't know that I could write another."

"Oh really? Can I hear it?"

"What? Oh, I don't know...I mean..." she said, obviously unsure.

"Come on, let me hear it!" he begged.

Sasuke hesitated, yet grabbed the guitar, "Fine, but just this once you can hear a song before it's released."

"Okay, just this once," he grinned.

"Just, um, promise you won't laugh? I haven't gotten the bugs out of it."

"Stop being insecure, even if it does look kind of cute on you." She rolled her eyes and pulled out a notebook from her purse, turning to the right page before she started to play the cords on the guitar.

She continued to play staring down at the page for the lyrics and music as Naruto stared at her, as is captivated by her concentration, or maybe by how real the song was. He smiled at the way she had moved her hair to one side before she played so it wouldn't get in her way of reading. And he smiled at the way, she didn't sound like anyone was writing for her. He smiled that it sounded like she was being real for once.

Sasuke was nervous as to the song's content because it was somewhat personal. She didn't like talking about her feeling, let alone just putting those out there saying this is out I feel. In all reality, this song would probably never get released, even if she did show her parents. They wouldn't like the feeling of it; they wouldn't like the content or what they would call the "sell ability" of it.

Sasuke knew Naruto was right. She didn't want to admit it though, that the girl that people thought Sasuke was and who she was probably weren't the same. Sasuke didn't pick out the same clothes the stylist did. Sasuke didn't write like the writers did. And Sasuke definitely didn't date Neji, no matter how nice he is.

If someone were to have known her before she was famous they wouldn't be able to recognize her now, and she knew it was true, because she had changed, she just wasn't sure if she could regain control again.

Naruto looked at her, he knew that she was getting sick of it. That she was done with being fake, but he also knew that she didn't want to lose her parents love. And he remembered what Gaara had said, that if you break a shell sometimes you can break a person, and he wasn't sure yet if she was one of those people.

"So, what did you think?" she asked.

"That was probably the only honest thing I've heard you sing, ever," he said with a small smile.

"Well I'm sure you don't listen to a lot of my songs," she scoffed.

"I've heard plenty of your songs," he assured.

"If you say so," she said.

"I have, remember, I went to your concert," he smirked.

She blushed a little, "How could I forget?"

"Want me to remind you?"

"Wha..." before she could finish her sentence she was cut off by him capturing her lips in a kiss. She found herself wrapping her arms around his neck as he licked her bottom lip to ask for entrance, which was granted. Naruto wrapped his arms around her waist as they lay in the grass for a few minutes.

After they pulled away Naruto said, "Told you that you would have a good time."

"Shut up, what time is it?"

"About nine forty why?"

"How long is the drive?" Sasuke ask, obviously panicked.

"Usually a half an hour," Naruto said. "Why?"

She jumped up, "I have to be home by ten!"

"Don't worry, I'll try to get you there," he said as he got up quickly.

They ran to the car quickly getting in and throwing the guitar in the back seat.

"Hope you don't mind driving fast," Naruto said.

"Just drive," she said.

Naruto was proud of himself, he had never gone so fast without being caught by the cops, and it was truly a new accomplishment of his. What was supposed to be a half an hour drive was nearly cut in half, if you don't mind the fact that they were going practically double the speed limit.

"Alright, you can make it home from here in fifteen minutes right?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, thanks," she smiled at him.

He grinned, "You're welcome."

The dark haired girl quickly got out of the car, making sure no one saw them, and made her way to her house, unfortunately she didn't hear the faint clicking from across the street.

TBC...

Song of inspiration: How I Feel By Alexz Johnson

Shelly's end note:

I feel like this is not one of my best chapters and I'm really sorry if this really sucks, but hopefully it doesn't let me know what you think of it please review