summary: becoming a vampire is a pain in the ass.
baby's breath
| take things slow as we may bruise |
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There's a ballet studio. Her mom looks so young, not one wrinkle and her blond hair reaching past her shoulders. Bella wears her pink tutu, her hair is pulled in a tight bun, not a strand falling out. Her backpack is filled, delicate shoes tied carefully around her feet – she's not the one who wanted to dance, but her mother thought it would be a good way for her accident prone daughter to gain some balance.
"I love you sweetie – you look beautiful." Young Bella catches a sight of herself in one of the many mirrors in the ballet studio. She looks like every other little girl, pulled and primed to resemble a woman instead of a child.
But her mother says she's beautiful, so she smiles in the way a child smiles when it hasn't quite discovered that the world is filled with things that will make it unlivable.
"I love you too, mommy." She turns on her heels, class is starting soon. She bends and stretches and does everything the teacher says. She's still accident prone even after all these years of ballet dancing.
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Charlie is awkward, but happy to see her. She's a child again, slightly older. It's their annual two weeks, which doesn't mean much anymore. He picks her up at the airport, takes her around town like something's changed since the last time she was here. Nothing ever changes in Forks.
Her father is the sheriff. People greet them with overly exuberant smiles wherever they go and the woman at the diner pats her head like they've always known each other. Bella has never been fond of the attention, but she smiles because she's still happy to see her dad.
It's almost like he expects it's the last time he'll see her. She'll catch him looking at her sometimes, with that kind of sadness he only shows when he looks at pictures of her mom, before she left Forks behind because she was suffocating and needed adventure.
She thinks she should say something, anything. You divorce adults, not children. And she might not be close to him, her father, but he's still her father and she loves him. Her eyes shuffles back to the television, she keeps her mouth shut.
That summer is the last she spends in Forks – she never tells her dad anything.
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Her first day at Forks High. She clutches her backpack strap too tight, the yellow raincoat heavy on her shoulders. People stare at her as she walks past them with her newly acquired schedule – she hates it here; didn't you know?
Eric's flash lingers in her eyes as she finds her first class of the day. Pop quiz in English Lit, she smiles when she notices the book title. She hits Mike Newton in the head with a volley ball in PE – she's accident prone, shouldn't be trusted near any projectiles. Jessica smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She's territorial, but Bella doesn't have any friends so she follows her anyways.
And then, it the midst of boys fighting like children and the usual sounds of the cafeteria, she catches sight of beautiful people. Their secret – she doesn't know it yet. And the boy with the amber hair and golden eyes is the handsomest boy she's ever seen.
His face melts away, becomes something like a monster with sharp teeth and blood drips from the corner of his lips. And the ground is filled with corpses. Her hands are stained with blood, Jessica's wide eyes staring blankly back at her, her mouth twisted in a scream that never came out. Angela's glasses lie on the floor next to her, the broken frame leaving shards behind.
He turns his gaze towards her, golden eyes replaced with deep crimson red. Bella wants to scream as he licks his lips and lunges. But no sound comes out.
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"Bells." Sunlight streams through the glass, makes it impossible to see properly. She shuffles into her seat, tries to find a comfortable position. Victoria stares straight ahead, eyes covered with thick, dark rimmed sunglasses. Her hair, usually falling in a mass of red, is pulled in a high ponytail.
"Where are we?" She can't remember falling asleep, all she knows is that sleep is so rare these days. The road stretches in front of them. She can't shake the sleep away from her voice.
"Close, we're so close." The vixen sends worried glances her way, but Bella is too groggy to notice them. She nods her head at the red head, she trusts her even if she can't remember why or how they got here in the first place. "You just have to hold on a little longer." Again, Bella nods her head, settles back into her seat and enjoys the wind from the opened window.
Out of nowhere, someone appears in the middle of the road, Victoria's foot hits the brake so hard the car topples over and over, until it slows finally. Her seatbelt pulls her back, her head collides with broken glass and she feels warm liquid rolling down her forehead. She wants to move, but she can't.
Red eyes peek at her, curious. She feels dizzy, her heart beating so fast she thinks her heart will literally rip through her chest. She wants to speak – she can't.
"Mom?" She manages to turn her head to the side, everything in her body cracks, broken bones and torn muscles. He has her hair color and her nose, but everything else is foreign. "Mom, you have to wake up. Now." Her breath gets sucked out of her lungs, her eyes close.
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She's in her room, her old room in Phoenix. She's packing, her mom talking with Phil with a low voice so Bella won't hear – but she can.
"You ready for your new life?" Blond hair, chiseled jaw and piercing eyes. He sits on her bed like he always belonged there. She smiles as she pushes more books in boxes, clothes in suitcases.
"I'm not so sure. Maybe I should stay here." He nods his head, finally stands up from her bed and catches her hand before she can grab another pair of shoes. Her bed is unmade, pillows and blankets thrown carelessly about. She could've sworn she made it earlier.
He pulls her hand up to his lips, kisses her knuckles one by one. It tickles, she laughs, but doesn't pull away. Something about him is so familiar, makes her forget about all the packing she has to do. Feelings bubble in her chest, a swelling that cannot seem to stop. Her eyes dart to his neck, to the exposed collar bone there for the taking.
Her face becomes tight; a hunger consumes her like nothing ever before. She licks her lips, looks around her trying to find anything to calm her nerves. But it doesn't stop, thirst clogging her judgement and her conscience.
"It's time to wake up." She snarls, grabs at him almost breaking his neck in the process and digs her teeth into the flesh, liquid burning in her mouth, not at all what she needs. Her body burns, her throat clenches from thirst. She doesn't let go of him until she cannot hear any other sound in the room, not even a heartbeat.
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Jasper has to pin her down to the bed, it's not like he wasn't expecting it. He knows that look in her eyes when they open wide – the disorientation, the overflowing senses, the thirst.
"You have to get her out of here." He almost tells Peter off, but his hands are preoccupied. She'll attack anything with a heartbeat right now and he can't risk it, not his son. Victoria bursts into the room and actually has the nerve to feel amused.
Jasper wants to comment on how the two are really not helping, his momentary lapse costing him his shirt. Bella rips it with her fingernails, a brand new scar on his chest to compliment the others. He huffs and grabs her tighter, sending a final glare to the two before zooming out of the house.
Good thing about Texas is that the neighbours are miles away. He throws her on the ground, a bit more forceful than he intends and she sinks into the sand. The sun is setting; his skin burns in the last dying rays.
It seems to calm her. Her red eyes wide as she takes in him and then stares at her own translucent skin. She's like a feral animal and he has to find a way to tame her. He can think of several ones, not at all appropriate for the situation.
"Bella. You have to listen to me, okay?" But it's not really a question and she recoils at his tone, almost like he's slapped her. He can't allow himself to feel guilty, not when he's trying so hard to control her emotions. "You have to control the thirst, it's the only way." Her eyes trail on his face examining it. "If you come with me, I can make it better." He thinks Bella would trust him, her true self would trust him. But this Bella raises an eyebrow and hesitates, is planning ways that she can bypass him and make a run for it.
"Come with me." His hand presents itself to her and he's fully prepared that she might try and break it before running off. In a painfully slow movement, she reaches for it, her fingers as cold as his now. He doesn't stop to think about the poetry of it all and instead, pulls her up.
She goes with him willingly – that's a start.
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A body falls on the floor and then a second one, right next to the first. The one she's currently holding has stopped screaming and she releases him, watches crumble. She's a monster now, just like she wanted to be. She regards the dead bodies with a slow pause, thinks that she should feel bad about it.
She doesn't, even with the memories of old her flooding her mind – strange, what venom pumping into your veins can do to your conscience. Jasper watches her, his shirt ripped and the brand new scar oozing something that isn't blood. She can concentrate on it now, the smell strangely familiar – it's his venom coursing throw her body.
"I'm sorry about your shirt." She's regained a bit of her senses, the thirst not clouding her judgement anymore. Stepping over the bodies, she pulls herself closer to him. He smiles at her, wipes the blood from her lips with him thumb and then sticks it in his mouth.
"You can buy me another one." She nods, feeling quite full. Her hands reach to touch the scar she gave him. It matches with the others, except this one is fresher. He's still guarded around her – she doesn't blame him. Her fingers get coated in venom and she licks it because now that blood has filled her, it's the only thing that calls out to her.
"Where's our baby?" Something about a boy with hair like hers still haunts her memory. Things come back in a rush – she remembers carrying a child. She remembers dying for it.
"At home, with Victoria, Charlotte and Peter." The vixen's name makes her smile; Victoria would protect the baby from anyone coming for it. "It's a boy, still waiting for a name." She blinks because they haven't name him and then smiles. She gets to name her boy, the one she died for – it seems fitting.
"I want to see him." Her voice is soft – the noises still hurt her head and her strength is still volatile at best, but it's coming back slowly; control.
"Of course." Her hands reach for Jasper's face and before she can stop herself, she's reached upwards to kiss him. At least, the change has given her courage.
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"Five more minutes and we were sending a search party." Jasper rolls his eyes at Peter, the other blonde smirking at him like he knows what they've been up to. Victoria raises an carefully sculpted eyebrow and is about to make a comment when Bella moves to pull her in a hug.
The vixen's neck cracks and if she were human, she would be chocking. But she's not and she lets out a surprised snort, eventually returning the hug. They've been through so much together, Bella remembers. Her baby would not be here if it weren't for the vixen.
"It's weird." Bella eventually lets her go and the redhead stares. "Seeing you with red eyes." It is for anyone, even for Jasper. He'd always expected that if she were to become a vampire, her eyes would be golden. How wrong he was.
"At least now, you won't have to hunt my dinner for me." The vixen snorts, flipping her red curls over her shoulder in a theatrical move.
"I'll take that as a 'thank you'." Bella squeezes her shoulders – she wouldn't have it any other way and she wants Victoria to know that. Charlotte appears, holding the tiny infant in her arms, his head on her shoulder. She's the only one with a maternal instinct.
"And that weirdo, is uncle Peter. And look at that, the strange woman is aunty Victoria." She sniffs the air. "And it seems that mommy and daddy are trying to make you a little brother or sister." Peter loves that woman; it shows by the way he grins at her. Victoria rolls her eyes and Jasper smiles. Bella's gaze softens.
"Your mommy wants to hold you. She's beautiful, ain't she?" The baby's eyes are the lightest shade of blue she's ever seen. He has Jasper's eyes, the ones before he was turned. Charlotte carefully slides the baby towards her, gently so he doesn't start to cry.
She wants to think he recognizes her, the way he looks at her. She recognizes him instantly, everything about him screams at her. She's carefully not to crush her, rests his head on her shoulder. Jasper kisses his forehead.
"Jason Swan-Whitlock." Everyone stands still for a second and then Jasper grins, kissing her forehead this time. Victoria nods to no one in particular. Peter claps his hand.
"It has a nice ring to it."
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"Not that I mind having a big family, but I think we should consider a bigger house." Charlotte is the planner, the organiser and the mistress of the house.
"But I like this house." And Peter is the whiner and the complainer, the one who sees and understands very much and very little.
"Just build an extension." Bella is apparently the voice of reason. All four heads turn to look at her and the sleeping infant in her arms. "I like this house too." And then she turns to Victoria, with a very serious look. "And you're staying." The redhead holds her hands up in defeat.
"Careful, Jasper. You might have competition." Jasper elbows Peter in the ribs, which doesn't affect his smugness in any way. This is the family Bella choose, a pain in the ass psychic, a blonde southern goddess, a vixen who'd tried to kill her and once brother of the man who'd broken her human heart. She snorts at the irony.
"Oh, I'll get the plans." Really, she's doing this now. Everyone turns to look at Charlotte as she busies herself with blueprints and pencils and even produces a laptop which has Peter muttering under his breath about 'women and their decors'. Bella can't really hold it in anymore and laughs.
Yeah, this is the family she chose. She finds that hilarious, especially when Victoria asks if everything's okay and Jasper steals the baby from her arms to hold him to his chest.
a/n : this is an extremely short chapter for me. the reason for that is that I wanted a chapter dedicated to Bella's change, what she experimented and how she'd react to her son and Jasper. I would also like to point out that their makeshift family is hilarious to write. In the next chapter, you will hear about the Cullens, Victoria certainly did not forget about her revenge plan and a grown up Jason living with his twisted family. As always, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who takes the time to write reviews. They are very much appreciated and a huge support. You guys are the best and this story would not be here if it weren't for you. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed and drop a review, I love to hear what you are all thinking. Till next time!