SUPERNATURAL

No Matter What

AN: I try to have less mistakes this time. Bare with me, okay? Anywaaay...I'm sorry I didn't up-date sooner. I was on a camp with 7 to12 old girls (joy) and right now I have an exam-week going. Or a test-week, whatever. (Sorry, I just have this need to explain myself.) But now I'm here and I try to make this chapter as long as I can.

Warning: Self harm and language

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

oOOOOOoOOOOOo

I'll be there for you

When the rain starts to fall

I'll be there for you

Like I've been there before

I'll be there for you

Cuz you're there for me, too

Rembrandts, I'll Be There For You

Chapter four

200 hundred miles and 4 hours after the crash Dean was trying to make Sam talk. He had figured an hour ago that there was no way he was gonna make Sam smile so now he was trying to make him say more than one word at a time. But he was slowly giving up on that, too. As a last resort he decided to try how the 'good old Dean' talk would work on Sam.

"So, you think after San Francisco we could go to L.A?" he asked as of he had no secret motive.

"Sure", was the short reply.

"Good. You know, we could have an actual road-trip with no hunting for a change, what do ya say?" At this, Sam actually turned his gaze from the road to his brother and he looked surprised. "Aw, come on, Sammy! Think about the chicks that run down the California beaches! Man, I wish Baywatch was real..."

Sam made a sound that could have been an agreement or a groan. Dean allowed himself to feel a little disappointed and worried cuz his goal had been to make Sam either smile or even make a sarcastic comment. Or hell, why not even both? Well, as that wasn't happening, maybe he could make some salty and un-healthy food go down his little brother's throat.

"Heeey, McDonald's!" Dean yelled as he spotted the large yellow M. "Hungry?"

"Maybe", Sam said.

"Good enough", Dean replied and pulled the car to the McDonald's parking lot. But when he opened the door, Sam made no effort to get out of car. "Sammy?"

"Tired..." Sam explained. Dean sighed as he nodded.

"I'll go pick something to go. You'll be okay?"

"Just.. don't stay long..." Dean frowned. Now he knew that Sam was FAR from okay. Dean had heard Sam pleading him to stay or to hurry back only when they were kids and he was afraid of the monster under his bed... No, Sam wasn't okay. And it was gonna take a lot of out of Dean 'til he would be.

"I won't. I just take what's ready", Dean promised and shut the door. Sam hugged his knees against his chest and tried to shut the voice that was now whispering to him when he was awake.

"Your kind should not exist... your kind should not exist... your kind should not exist..."

Sam shut his eyes shut, refusing to give in to tears. He would not give the voice that satisfaction anymore.

"Your kind should not exist... your kind should not exist..."

"Shut up!" Sam said, quietly but as firmly as he could. He could swear he heard a little, mocking, laugh and then it continued again:

"Your kind should not exist... Your kind should not exist..."

"So, I got us both double-cheese burgers, cokes and f... Sammy?" came Dean's voice, overpowering the one in Sam's head. Sam looked up and Dean was relieved when his face wasn't covered with tears. "You okay?" he asked as he settled down on his seat.

"Yeah, just... tired", Sam said, half lying. He was tired... God, he was tired. But that was not all and both of the Winchesters knew it. Dean decided not to push the subject for now. Sam would talk when he was ready. Right?

"You really should eat before it gets cold", Dean said as he turned on th engine. Sam took a burger from the paper pack Dean had put on his lab and unwrapped a paper that covered it. After a moment of hesitation he took a bite. Then another. And another. "Victory", Dean said so quietly that Sam didn't hear.

SNSN

Dean was bored out of his mind. The journey had been quiet for the last hour, ever since they had left the McDonald's. They were going to California for Heaven's sake! Dean was suppose to be dreaming about the girls and Sam was suppose to bring him down from the clouds. It was not suppose to be quiet. Hell, it was suppose to be anything but quiet. Even if the music was playing Dean didn't like the silence between him and Sam. It was just not natural. Sure they had their quiet moments from time to time but... never like this.

"You wanna stop somewhere before we get to San Francisco?" Dean asked, shattering the silence into thousand pieces. "You know, so you could get some sleep", he added. Sam nodded ever so slightly. His eyelids were trying to close but he kept them stubbornly open.

"Okay then, cheap motel it is", Dean said lightly, pushing the gas down a bit harder. He didn't know why, maybe it was the big brother in him telling him that his baby brother needed sleep or the proud car owner who didn't want his brother wake up screaming and making the car crash. Whatever, it wanted to find a motel as fast as possible.

Half an hour later they had checked in to a VERY cheap motel. Sam, who was not bothered by the odd smell or the coloring of the room went straight to bed, curling under the covers. He fell asleep in matter of minutes. Dean, however, was bothered by the odd smell and the coloring of the room. He put the lights out so he wouldn't have to look at the walls that were painted with something between green and yellow. That didn't block the smell though.

"Geez, did the last visitors have a cat or something...?" Dean wondered. He lied on his bed, going through channels, trying to find something to get his mind of the smell. Finally he found some old TV-serial and settled to watch it. "I swear, all the good shows don't start 'til 10 pm..." he muttered under his breath, glancing the clock. It was only 7.45 pm which meant there was not gonna be killing, blood or boobs in the TV for the next two hours. "I miss Baywatch so much..."

SNSN

"No, not again..." Sam begged. He hated his pleading voice but he couldn't help it.

"But Sammy, I have a special show for you tonight. You see, you're the reason your mom, dad and girlfriend are dead, you get that right?" the voice said. Sam didn't even realize that he nodded. "Good. So, how are you gonna feel when Dean's gonna die, too? And yes, Sammy. I said when".

Sam shook his head. "No, he's too strong, he won't die... He can't die..."

"Oh but he will Sammy. And you will be responsible for that, too. But not in a same way. You wanna see? You know how many times your brother has cheated dead. Let's go to the die he's actually gonna die."

Before he knew it, Sam was in a new motel room. He looked around and saw things flying in the air. When he looked around more, he saw himself in the middle of the room, watching as a knife flew in front of his eyes. Suddenly, the door opened and Dean got in. He stopped dead when he saw what was going on.

"Sam, what...?"

"Dean, this is what I've been holding back! Look! I can do things like this and I've been holding them back! How stupid am I?" Sam said, excitedly. Dean gave out a nervous chuckle.

"I uh... I thought you didn't want to get control of your powers, Sammy", he said.

"That was then", Sam said, shrugging.

"Okay, so... what're you gonna do with this new power of yours?" Dean asked, even more nervously. Sam noticed it.

"Scared, Dean? Scared I might do something... bad. Like... demon-bad?" he asked, his voice low, almost sad. But Dean heard through it.

"Would you, Sam? If someone got into your way? Would you use your powers to get rid of him?"

"Like who?"

"Like me." Sam thought for a about two seconds. Then he sent the knife he was watching before to Dean, forcing him to back up to the wall. The knife went right in front of his heart.

"You wouldn't dare", Sam said dangerously.

"You ain't that scary, Sammy", Dean said.

"Oh yeah?"

Sam knew what was gonna happen a second before it did. He covered his eyes and screamed as he heard the knife going through Dean's chest.

"You still think so, big brother?" he heard the other Sam saying.

"No... I would never do it, never! I would never... He knows I wouldn't..."

"Can you promise that, Sammy? What if the powers get the best of you? Huh? It's just like I said, your kind should not exist. Go. Leave your brother so he'll be safe. Go Sam... Go..."

The last thing Sam saw before waking up was Dean's dead body against the wall and then everything went white.

SNSN

Sam woke up with a gasp. He was cold and he was covered in sweat.

"Sammy?" Sam turned his head sharply to look at Dean who was lying on the other bed. He looked worried. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"I'm... I'm... I have to go..." Sam said, getting of the bed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked, getting of the bed, too. "Go where?"

"Somewhere. I can't stay, I can't... I can't hurt you", Sam said, getting some of his stuff together.

"Hurt me? Sam, what is going on?" Dean grabbed Sam's arm and forced him to face him. "Did you have another nightmare? What was it about?" Sam shook his head.

"I can't... tell you Dean. I want to, I do... But have to go..."

"Did you hurt me in that dream? Sam, it was just a dream, it's not gonna happen!"

"You don't know that!" Sam yelled. He put his hand through his hair and took in a shaky breath. "You have to let me go. Please, Dean! It's the only way, I can't let you die. I have to go." It was Dean's turn to shake his head.

"No way, you're not going anywhere. Not like this. We're gonna figure this out, Sam, okay? Nothing's gonna happen to me." Sam looked at him and almost, almost, believed him. Then he sighed.

"I'm sorry, Dean..." he whispered. The, with a quick move, he hit Dean on the back, knocking him out. After checking him out and putting two painkillers and a glass of water next to him he got out of the room. He stopped for a second before pushing the door shut. "I'm so sorry... But if it's gonna safe you, it's worth it..." And with that, Sam left.

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AN: I'm evil, right? First I keep you waiting and then I make Sam leave... Now Dean has to find him. Oh dear... Anyway, I hope you liked it and I wish to see a lot of new reviews! They would be nice to read along with a chemistry and maths book that I'm doomed to go through for this whole week. Someone up there help me!

You've been so great this far, than you!

Lots of Love

Devil of My Family