Five Friends, a Blonde and the Mystic Wind Princess Omake Theatre
Randomness. I'm writing all three of the next chapters simultaneously. At this rate I may end up squashing Rozy's and Alex's together, as they're quite similar. I like to write random crap to blow off steam.
Omake Theatre 1- Growing Pains.
---
-chik-chik-
---
"Can you say 'runes'? Or, can you say 'magic'?" Cerrin said, waving a book in front of her baby brother.
"Goo ba ba." Ryan Wyver gurgled. Yes, they were all trying to get little baby Ryan to speak, with varying degrees of success, but so far he hadn't said a word. Well, a real word.
"Say 'I'm going to be football player'!" Mr Wyver waved a football in front of Ryan. Ryan grabbed the football and chewed on it happily. "Aw..."
"Say 'bunny'! Bunny bunny bunny!" Rozy giggled. Ryan stared at her blankly, and tossed the football away. Mr Wyver picked it up.
"Ew, baby drool."
"Hmm. Well, I know he is not eighteen months old yet, but surely there should be a little more development that this."
"Well, I know you started talking at fourteen months, but Rozy didn't start talking till two years." Mr Wyver said as he wiped Ryan's spit off the football. "Aw, Cer, you won't remember, but your first word was 'daddy'. Oh, you were so cute."
"Do not embarrass me, daddy."
"My first word was bunny!" Rozy giggled. It probably was.
"And they haven't stopped talking since. Don't rush him." Mrs Wyver muttered as she sat on the sofa, knitting another hat for Ryan. He grew out of stuff really quickly, and everyone reckoned he'd be tall when he grew up.
"Ma..." Ryan gurgled and Mrs Wyver looked up from her knitting.
"I think he's going to say mama!" She squealed happily, dropped her knitting and picked Ryan up. "Go on, say mama! Mama!" She was smiling so widely it looked like her face would crack from the strain.
"Ma... da... daddy." Mrs Wyver's face sprung back into a gurning frown.
"No! Mama! Or Mommy!"
"Daddy!"
"Mommy!"
"Daddy!"
"Mommy!"
"Daddy! Daddy Daddy!" Ryan gurgled happily and bounced up and down in Mrs Wyver's arms. She handed Ryan to Mr Wyver, kicked her knitting off the sofa and collapsed on it, crying.
"That's my clever boy! Now, say 'football'! Say 'I'm going to be a football player'!"
---
-goooonnnnng-
---
Omake Theatre 2- Misadventures Stand-Up
---
-chik-chik-
---
Alex: A hooded creature went into a store and asked the guy working at the counter; "Can I have a worm burger and a large tankard of ale, please?" The guy replied "You must be a goblin."
Obviously, the creature was annoyed by this. "That's such a stereotypical remark. If I came in here and asked 'Can I have a raw steak' would you ask me if I were a barbarian?"
"No." The guy replied.
"If I came in here and asked for
"No."
"If I asked for battered squid, would you ask me if I were a Mogre?"
"No."
"And if I asked for some MRE's, would you assume I was a soldier?"
"No."
"Then why the heck are you assuming I'm a goblin?"
"Because this is a hardware store."
-badum-tish!-
Alex: Thank you, thank you, I'm here till Thursday. How many half-demons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just sit in the dark and brood. How may witches does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just set fire to something instead. Now, did you hear the one about the thief with the D cups-erk! (Alex is yanked off stage and pummelled to within an inch of his life. Ansela, Shade and Cerrin step on and take the microphone.)
Cerrin: How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten, one to screw it in and nine to boast about the screwing.
-badum-tish!-
Ansela: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? No one knows, it's never happened.
-badum-tish!-
Shade: What do you get when you cross a demon and a kitten? Ansela's damn cat. (Fiona is chewing on his trouser leg)
-badum-tish!-
Ansela: Rozy walks into a bar. She says 'Ouch'!
-badum-tish!-
Cerrin: A monk, a dark wizard and a druidess come to a fast flowing, wide river. The monk prays to Saradomin for the strength to cross the river. Saradomin grants him great strength and he swims across the river. The dark wizard prays to Zamorak for the power to cross the river. Zamorak grants him magic powers and he levitates over. The druidess uses the bridge.
-badum-tish!-
Ansela: We'll be here all week, folks!
---
-goooonnnnng-