Chapter 4: The Illusion

Nix woke up and saw she was in another black area. "Oh, dammit." She stood up and rubbed her head. "What now?" She looked around at the black area. "Cole?" She kept looking around. "Yo! MacGrath!" She couldn't find him. She started growling. "MacGrath! Come on, man! I need you to get out here! I already don't wanna go get this chick! Now, ya go and disappear on me, too! C'mon, man!"

"Still so loud, Nix?" said a voice familiar to only Nix.

But the fire Conduit didn't believe it. She slowly turned to face the source of the voice. "What da hell?"

"Ya don't recognize me?" A woman emerged from the black. Somewhat heavy set, a black woman with long brown hair and was wearing reading glasses.

Nix stared at her but then stepped back in fear. "M… Mama?"

"Hey, baby," she walked toward her.

Nix stepped back again. "What… what is dis?"

"Your chance, baby…"

"For what?"

"To be free."

"From what?"

"All the pain in your life."

Nix suddenly heard the happy laughter of children. She suddenly saw images of her own childhood, replaying before her like a movie screen. It was happy… at first. Nix wondered how that is supposed to be painful…

Then it shifted… to something very ugly… a most unpleasant memory… of her father beating her, mercilessly.

"YOU AIN'T NOTHIN', YA LITTLE HEIFER!" her father would scream at her more than once. "YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' AND YOU AIN'T NEVER GON' BE NOTHIN'!"

Nix started shaking at the memory… more so for the hits that came with those shouts. "Get ya hands off me…" she whispered.

The scene shifted to her schoolmates taunting her… for her voice, her mannerisms, and her family. "LIL' NIX! ALL ALONE! CAN'T EVEN GET HER DADDY ON THE PHONE!" A little rhyme the school children gave her after her father was arrested and put away for abuse. She remembered how much she hated it. She remembered how much it irritated her how some of the children in the exact same position still tortured her.

She remembered how much she hated them all.

She remembered being so very alone.

"Shut up, shut up!" she gritted.

"You ain't nothing special, little girl," one of the teachers told her, after she beat up another little girl for calling her mother a slut. "Nothing will ever special about you."

Gnashing her teeth, Nix shook her head. "No… stop it!"

Then… the most horrible image of all showed up in front of her: the night Bertrand used his modified Ray Sphere. The same event that gave Nix her powers. The same event which killed her mother… by ripping her apart, atom by atom.

Nix could still hear her mother's final scream…

She slammed her hands over her ears, "STOP IT! STOP IT! CUT DIS SHIT OUT! I DON'T WANNA REMEMBER DAT SHIT!" She sank to her knees, tears falling and erratic breathing. If Nix didn't know any better… she'd swear she was crying.

Her mother approached before her, "This is just it, babygirl… you don't have to. Stop all dis runnin' around. Dis fightin'."

She took a few deep breaths, composing herself. She somehow held on to why she was here. "I can't. I'm… I'm tryin' to save a friend, Mama…"

"'Friend,' baby?"

"Yeah… I gotta…"

"And what this 'friend' ever done for you?"

Nix paused. Wow. What a question. It made her question again why she was saving Kuo. "Well…"

"Come on, baby… let's just go… stop this…"

She looked at her mother confused. "Go… Mama?"

"Yes, baby. Let's go on to get some rest."

Nix's mother offered her hand to her daughter. The fire Conduit looked apprehensive… but started to reach out.

Short of breath and mind cluttered, Cole looked at Trish, his first love… who died in Empire City. Didn't she? He was trying to comprehend this. How this was possible… so befuddled was his mind, he was struggling to even try to remember where he was.

"Cole…" Trish said. "You look so different."

"Trish, what…" Cole could barely concentrate. "What is this… what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" She giggled, "What are you doing here?"

At that moment, Cole remembered his mission. "I, uh… I'm here… to save a friend…"

"Zeke?"

Cole shook his head, "Uh… no, no… Ummm… someone… else…" It was so hard for him to concentrate. What was going on?

"Oh. And who is that?"

"Uh… K-Kuo… Lucy Kuo…"

Trish looked hurt. "Lucy? A woman?" She started breathing heavy. "A woman?! You came down here for a woman?!"

"I… I…" Cole couldn't think.

"You let me die! You let ME die! But you came here for someone else! Is that how it is, Cole?!"

"No, no, Trish… that isn't…"

"You bastard!" She got right in his face. "YOU LET ME DIE BUT YOU WILL FIGHT THROUGH HELL FOR SOMEONE ELSE!"

Cole tried to speak… but he couldn't deny a thing.

"DID YOU SUDDENLY FORGET?!"

The image of that fateful day appeared before Cole. Him racing through the streets of Empire, trying to get to Trish. Kessler's voice telling him he had to choose: save the doctors… or save Trish. In a choice he is not sure about to this day, he chose the doctors… and Trish fell to her death.

Despite all he had done, despite everyone he saved, despite even Trish telling Cole that she loved him in her brief moment of Cole reviving her, that was the one choice Cole was never sure was the right one.

"You betrayed me, Cole…" Trish said. "By coming here… you've betrayed me. How could you?"

Wanting to answer so badly, Cole couldn't help but sink to his knees and grab his skull as he tried to figure out what to say next. What could he say? What could he do?

Did he honestly betray Trish? Did he?

Nix almost reached her mother's hand… but she stopped. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Nix?" her mother asked. "What's wrong, baby?"

"No…" Nix stepped back and rubbed her face. "No… dis… dis ain't right…"

"What do you mean?"

Nix lowered her hands, staring at her mother. "I'm… I'm not here to get some free ride back home…" She chuckled, "Not yet, anyway." She steeled herself. "I'm here to help…" She remembered. "Cole… MacGrath! I gotta find him! Sorry, Mama. But I gotta go."

"Nix, you can't…"

"I gotta!" Nix turned to leave.

"Nix! Baby!"

"Mama… you said for me to make friends because there are some good people in the world… I actually got one, now. And I can't let him down." She paused. "Funny. I actually got somebody I can't let down." She smirked. "Gotta go, Mama."

"Nix, Nix, you can't!"

"I'm sorry, I can't stay!" She kept walking away. She had to get to her friend. She had to finish this.

Her mother got angry. "Nix?! NIX! Nix, you get back here right now!"

Nix paused. That sounded… so very wrong. She slowly turned back around. "Mama?"

Her voice turned sweet again. "Yes, baby?"

She gave her mother a skeptical look. "Did you just yell at me?"

The elder lady recoiled, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just… got upset."

"No. Not the point." She stepped closer… very menacingly. "My mama… never raised her voice to me. Ever."

Her mother looked shocked.

"She always said… since my daddy always used to treat me like shit, she would never once raise her voice to me. She never did. She never even hit me 'cause of dat damn bastard, bless her soul. And she never yelled at me. Not one day."

She said nothing. Her "mother" knew she was caught. She scowled at the fire Conduit.

Nix scoffed. "Betcha didn't know dat… did ya… Mama?" She gave the woman and dangerous glare. "I shouldn't even be callin' ya that, should I?" A sudden realization hit her. "No… I shouldn't… because my mama sure as shit wouldn't be in Torment."

Instantly, the face of Nix's mother melted away, replaced with something demonic. "Torment or Paradise, I don't need to know how your mother was, human!" the demonic voice growled. "All I need know is that you will NEVER LEAVE HERE!" The demon turned into a long lanky, 7' tall, pale skinned creature, a Wraith. It lunged at Nix…

…who stood her ground. "I know somethin', too." She let the heat course through her body. She gritted against her teeth, "You ain't my mama, bitch…" She unleashed a merciless, rage-fueled fire blast, incinerating the Wraith. The Wraith cried out in agony as it burned and Nix just watched the evil spirit disintegrate into cinders. Her attack dispelled the black area she was in and she was back in the pasture under the red sky.

The fire Conduit growled, visibly shaking in anger… and sorrow. She started seething; that demon dared mimic her mother. She wished she could burn it all over again. An orb appeared from where the Wraith was destroyed. The orb flew into Nix, causing her to grab hold of herself… as a new power awakened within her. She felt the ability to create a tower of fire, almost like an inferno… but she didn't have time to dwell on this new power. So much was going through her mind. That Wraith brought up a lot of painful, repressed memories. They were no easier to see the second time around.

She got a hold of herself and looked up. She realized that if this was happening to her… it was happening to Cole. She raced off to find him.

The Wraith felt the defeat of its twin self and the loss of their combined power. It knew it had to one finish Cole off quickly for when Nix showed up. It looked down at the prime Conduit as he was still gripping his skull, the pain of Trish's death weighing on him even harder than the day of her death.

"You failed me, Cole!" the Wraith-Trish screamed. "But, here you are! Going through HELL for HER!"

Cole was near tears. "Trish… please… I… I tried… I really did!"

"LIES! ALL OF IT LIES!"

Cole didn't even notice the demonic echo that came through her voice. He couldn't even bare to look up at Trish… who had morphed into a Wraith.

"Don't worry, darling…" The wraith-Trish reached out to grab the prime Conduit, its hands morphing into sharp talons to kill Cole. "It'll all be over soon…"

Cole didn't even look up. He knew what that meant… and he didn't care. He was resigned to his fate.

Out of nowhere, a ball of fire hit the Wraith hit it in the face, causing it to scream. The black was shattered as Nix charged in and threw several more fireballs, finally destroying the Wraith.

Nix seethed, "Damn bitch… quit messin' wit' our heads." She looked Cole and saw that he was still in shock. She kneeled down next and placed a strong hand on his shoulder. "Hey! Hey, Cole!"

"Sorry…" he mumbled over again. "Sorry… Trish… I'm sorry…"

"Cole, c'mon, man! Snap out of it!"

"Sorry… so sorry…"

She started shaking him. "Cole, will ya c'mon?!"

He fell very silent.

Nix knew there was only way to get him out of this. She had no alternative. Nix reached back… and slapped Cole as hard as she could across his face, "MACGRATH!"

Cole inhaled, sharply and loudly. He took deep breaths and focused on the red dreadlocked woman who had her hand on his shoulder. "N…Nix…" he breathed out.

She nodded, "Yeah. It's okay, man."

He looked around for Trish. "Wh-where…?"

"Calm down…" She shook her head, "It ain't real. Nothing was real. None of it."

The Empire native looked around. He was still holding his breath. A part of him wanted Trish to be real. But, somewhere, deep down, he knew better.

She shook him, again, "C'mon, man!"

He regained his breathing. "Yeah… yeah, Nix… you… you're right…"

Nix helped her friend up. Cole got to his feet, clearly unsteady. He grabbed his head while Nix held on to his arm to keep him from falling over.

"You sure you alright?" she asked.

Cole shook his head. "No." He took a few deep breaths. "But… we need to keep going."

"Yeah, we do. We gotta end dis."

He looked at her, shocked. "Okay, now, I'm startin' think you're fake. What's with the change of attitude?"

"Somethin' is tellin' me we shouldn't be here. And ya know me… I gotta know why."

"Still not convinced…"

She shrugged one shoulder, "I could beat the livin' hell outta you then we can go."

He smirked. "Alright. You're real."

She smiled back, "Damn right!"

He sighed. "How'd you find me?"

"It's real quite down here." She grinned, "I heard you cryin'."

Cole just looked down at the ground. "Not surprised."

Nix looked at his face and saw his anguish. She put a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Hey, man… I was kiddin'."

He looked straight ahead remembering that day… that moment… when he lost Trish. "I know… I know why it happened… and yeah, maybe it had to." He paused again. "Just… that part of my life? Still hurts."

"Ya did what ya had to. And, if the real Trish knew ya like we knew ya, she don't hate you at all, man. She knows ya did what had to… no matter how it ended."

"Yeah… still… there was nothing I could to make up for that loss." Cole's faith and strength were resolved. "But I can make up for this one, at least."

She patted his shoulder. "Le's do it, then."

They walked on, finding another portal that opened to a staircase that led to deeper descent into Torment. Soon, they didn't hear the wailing as loud anymore. In fact, it was growing quite silent where they were. And the further they walked, they realized the most important thing…

It was getting colder.

They paused for a second when they realized the temperature drop and looked at each other when they notice something else: they could see their breath. They looked down the winding stairs and kept going. They soon found themselves on what seemed like a frozen lake and there was light blue light pulsating in the distance. They looked straight ahead at it and ran as fast as they could. The further they ran… the colder it got… the more the air chilled… the more determined they became.

After minutes of racing, they arrived at their destination: a giant icicle tower jutting upward and, at the base buried deep in the ice, was the pulsating blue light was brighter… and there was a person inside, curled up in the fetal position.

Both Conduits knew who was in the ice.

But only Cole spoke the name, whispering, "Kuo…"

A/N: Well... that was... quite the ordeal. What did you guys think of that? I think this is the most plausible past you can give Nix. It just makes sense to me. But I love feedback! REVIEWS, PLEASE!

Next Chapter: The Guilt

Cole and Nix have found Kuo and the Judge returns to add further to their mission of the Ice Conduit's redemption.

We are about halfway through and entering the thick of it now, folks!

You can't miss what's going to happen next!