Chapter Four: A Detour

No doubt, what had happened that day had left Burns in an odd situation. Within the matter of just a few hours, everything had changed and he could feel the tension in the air whenever Smithers was near. For the remainder of the workday, Burns remained mostly silent at his desk and tried to keep his mind on his work. Though, it was becoming increasingly hard to concentrate with Smithers passing by his desk, occasionally lingering there just a little too long to be considered normal. He'd never realized before how often his assistant actually passed through his office in one day! Maybe it's just that he'd never really paid attention before. Little things that he'd always ignored before, now stood out glaringly obvious.

When it was time to go home they walked out to Burn's car, only this time Burns noticeably lagged behind instead of walking so close as they usually did. Everything was just so awkward now that it was simply impossible to relax.

Is this how it was going to be from now on? He wondered as Smithers held open the car door for him. Now that he knew Smithers' big secret, he had the feeling that this situation and the tension he felt around him would be hard to get accustomed to and would only become worse with time. He glared at Smithers as he started the car, annoyed at the position the man had put him in. This was Smithers' problem. It wasn't his fault that he was witty, charming and completely irresistible.

The rest of the car ride was mostly silent. Normally the two would be talking, joking around or even arguing. Now, because of what had happened, Burns couldn't even bare to say more than a few words to him. Now that the truth was so blatantly clear, it was almost too much to handle so suddenly.

"Mr. Burns, you're certainly quiet today. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" he laughed, but his tone was tinged with concern as the car rounded the corner.

"Oh, no. I'm perfectly fine." he replied. "It's just been a long day, nothing to be concerned about." The silence continued for a moment and Burns silently berated himself for not remembering to raise the glass privacy window between them.

"Uh, Mr. Burns... I have a huge favor to ask... " Smithers finally interrupted.

"What is it now?"

Smithers hesitated, "You see, it's my dog. He went to the vet yesterday and I have to check on him and give him his medicine at precisely three-thirty."

Burns leaned back in his seat, he was kind of relieved that Smithers had brought up something ordinary to talk about, anything to take his mind off of Smithers and his damn feelings. Burns relaxed a little. Good, he thought, we're back to normal conversation.

"Oh, well, that's no problem. Just drop me off then and then take care of that mutt of yours." said Burns.

"Uh, there's kind of a problem with that. It's already three twenty-five so..."

"Smithers, you're my driver and I say you take me home first!" he ordered, his tone unnecessarily more irritable than usual.

"But sir, I really need to make sure Hercules is okay! He has a skin infection and he really needs antibiotics! It'll be a really big favor and I'll owe you! I'll owe you big time!" Smithers pleaded, looking into the rear view mirror at him, in his eyes a silent plea. With Smithers groveling, it almost made him believe they were back to their old routine. It wasn't as if Smithers knew that anything had changed between them so it should be easy to just move on as if nothing had changed.

"Well, since I'm such an opportunist, then what's in it for me?" asks Burns playfully.

"Uh, my undying love, admiration and servitude? Is that good enough?" he answered

"Hmph!" Burns snorted, rolling his eyes. "Give me something I don't already have."

"Something you don't- what?" Smithers asked nervously.

"Nothing! I just meant that... ah... " time to avert the subject, "Just go deal with that flea-bitten mongrel of yours! But make it snappy; I don't want to wait in the car all day!" Burns ranted. He really had to choose his words more carefully if he were to avoid more slip-ups like that; though, speaking carefully really wasn't one of his strong points.

"Right! I can't thank you enough! Herc would thank you too!" chimed Smithers appreciatively.

"Hmm."

When they finally arrived a few minutes later, Smithers pulled up to his apartment and parked the car, quickly rushing inside and leaving Burns alone to wait for him. After about ten minutes of waiting, Burns became even more annoyed.

"What is taking so long?" Burns spoke aloud to himself. He had assumed that Smithers would just be in and out once he'd dealt with that dog of his and he really didn't want to have to go inside to see what was holding him up. He hadn't been in Smithers apartment in quite a while and given the current situation, it was the last place he wanted to be. After another five minutes of waiting and staring at the leather interior of the seat in front of him, he began to feel a mixture of curiosity and concern. Something must be going on in there for Smithers to be taking so long.

"Don't be ridiculous Monty." he told himself, "Everything's just fine."

Still, it sounded somewhat unconvincing even to himself. Finally, curiosity got the best of him and he got out of the car, scaling the flight of steps to Smithers' apartment and opened the front door, peering cautiously through the doorway. The place was just as he'd remembered, completely immaculate and surprisingly neat for a bachelor pad.

Of course it would be. thought Burns. He hardly ever spends any time here... always at my house or at work...

"Smithers? Where on earth are you?" Burns called out.

"I'm looking for Hercules! I can't find him anywhere!" said Smithers. Burns let out a sigh of relief and followed his assistant's voice to the back room where he found him on his knees looking under the bed. Smithers looked up and seemed a little surprised to see him standing in his room and stood up quickly.

"Uh, I'm sorry I took so long sir," Smithers apologized, "but as soon as Herc saw the medicine bottle, he took off and hid somewhere! I'm so sorry for making you wait out there!"

"Enough with the histrionics Smithers. Just find the dog and get on with it! I'll be waiting in the living room." He turned to leave the room. "All this trouble for a little fluff ball... much better as a coat if you ask me..." Burns mumbled before walking out of the room. As he came into the living room, he saw a little black nose sticking out from the bathroom door. Burns crept as quietly as possible and stood near the door where he could see the dog now peeking out at him.

"Well hello there little pup! Are you hiding from someone?" Burns raised his voice to a slightly higher pitch as if talking to a child. The dog had never really liked him all that much and let out a low, warning growl as Mr. Burns picked him up, brushing a stray tuft of greyish fur away from its eyes.

"Aw, you never did like me did you? You know Smithers is looking everywhere for you." the dog continued its low growl. Clearly he didn't trust this strange man in his house even though he'd seen Burns a few times before.

"You know you're such a cute little fellow. You'd make a nice fur collar for my jacket!" Burns joked, still using his playful, childish voice. Of course he would never harm Smithers' dog and was only joking, but the dog seemed as if it understood him and quickly began to wriggle out of his grasp.

"Grrr, arf arf ARF!" Hercules squirmed and yelped in his arms until finally snapping at his finger. Burns promptly dropped the dog and shook his finger which was now starting to burn.

"Ouch! You stupid little son-of-a-!"

"Oh there you are Herc! You found him Mr. Burns!" said Smithers excitedly from the doorway. Hercules seemed to have forgotten about the bottle of medicine in Smithers' hand and ran over to his owner, wriggling all over as if happy to have been saved.

"Yes I found him!" Burns yelled, shaking his sore finger, "-and that rabid little beast of yours nearly took a finger off!"

Smithers reached down and picked up the wriggling, excited ball of fur. The dog gave him one of his trademark sad looks. "Poor little guy. Did Monty scare you?" Both looked over at Burns accusingly.

"He bit me and you're consoling him? I'm the one that needs consoling! I could be bleeding to death over here! -and stop calling me Monty!" He looked down to his index finger. Sure he had exaggerated a bit; it was only a small scratch, only now, he wished he hadn't even mentioned it at all since Smithers was standing so close and reaching for his hand to inspect the injury. Smithers usually did attend to all his cuts and scrapes before, but now it was just too awkward. He felt his face growing flushed at the sudden contact, but before Burns could protest, Smithers let go of his hand.

"I'm sure it will be fine sir, all I need is to get a little antiseptic and a bandage and you'll be all patched up."

How dare he think he can just touch me! Burns thought. So many irrational, conflicting thoughts coursed through his mind. He was just checking your injured hand, isn't that what an assistant is for? he argued with himself a moment before Smithers returned with the first-aid kit and took out the antiseptic spray.

"Now let's see that scratch." Smithers took his hand again and applied the medicine and then a bandage. "There, I think you'll live through it sir!" said Smithers with a hint of sarcasm. Smithers' fingers lingered on his hand longer that he felt necessary until Burns finally withdrew from his touch.

"Well... it could have been worse..." said Burns, sulkily holding his sore hand close to his chest.

"Yeah, you could have lost a drop of blood!" Smithers joked. Burns walked over and sat down on the sofa as he waited for Smithers to finish up whatever he had to do so that he could drive him home. Burns would have driven himself, but whenever he was behind the wheel, no one in Springfield was safe. Smithers picked up the dog's medication from the coffee table. "Now, I've got another patient to deal with."

Burns sat on the couch watching amused as Smithers attempted to catch the fluff ball. He stood comically with his arms in the air ready to lunge at the dog who stood firm, defiantly glaring at him and patting the floor with its paws. Smithers then took an ungraceful leap, landing with a thud to the floor. The terrier hopping around happily, just out of reach.

Burns burst out laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach. "This is better than Charlie Chaplin!" Smithers stood and brushed himself off looking incredibly flustered and quite comical at being out witted by the little terrier. Burns had always found his constant physical comedy to be great entertainment. At least that was one thing that hadn't changed and it actually felt good to break away from the tension for a bit. "I believe you're more of a court jester than an assistant!" his laughter finally slowing as he caught his breath. Smithers flashed him a quick smile and shook his head before turning his attention back to the dog.

"Herc! You're going to have to take this medicine!" he said sternly before dashing forward and chasing the dog into the bedroom. Burns could here a loud thud and then a bit of struggling, then scratching of claws against the floor and after a short while, Smithers finally returned to the living-room, running his fingers through his hair tiredly. He then crossed the room; Burns' pulse climbing the closer he came, until he stopped and sat down next to him on the sofa. Such a simple action he'd done many times before, yet now it seemed so uncomfortable and unnerving.

"Feisty little fellow isn't he? He reminds me of someone." Smithers admitted. "Maybe that's why I picked him out of the litter."

"Well Smithers, are we ready to go now?" Burns asked. He couldn't take to much more of the man's praise; it was much better back when he thought it was mere hero worship, but receiving a complement from him now just seemed strange and unsettling.

"Aw, we just got here." said Smithers disappointingly, "It's been such a long time since you've been to my place and... the night is young. I was hoping we could, um... do something." said Smithers in a sort of nervously flirtatious tone. It was unmistakable his intentions and a moment of panic gripped Burns as he wondered just exactly what kind of 'something' that Smithers wanted to do. Smithers leg was touching his, eyes fixed on him admiringly, waiting for some sort of response. It was all behavior that Burns was well acquainted with coming from Smithers and it was nothing out of the ordinary as the man had always been a little too overtly friendly towards him, but now that he knew the true nature of Smithers affection, it suddenly seemed all too real and he uncomfortably scooted a couple of inches away from him.

"Uh, I'd rather not!" Burns replied hastily.

"Hm? You'd rather not what?" asked Smithers, the look of uncertainty apparent in his eyes. Burns looked away, unable to stare too long into those eyes which held such undeniable longing and confusion.

"Oh, well...ah... never mind." Burns stammered. He felt kind of ridiculous really. Smithers didn't have the guts to try anything like that; if he did, he would have done so by now. It was all just harmless, albeit flirtatious, innuendo and Smithers probably wasn't even aware of it as his amorous behavior seemed to come almost second nature to him.

"What did you have in mind sir? I'm up for anything that you want to do." Smithers turned towards him and leaned back, relaxing against the comfy white sofa and stretching his legs.

"Nothing in particular. Though, you could take me home now." Burns replied, refusing to make eye contact, a bead of sweat rolling down his brow as he felt Smithers watching him; likely sizing him up as a tiger would its prey. Or perhaps it was only his over-active imagination playing tricks on him.

"How about I get us a drink? Scotch? Brandy?" Smithers offered.

"Water! Just... water." answered Burns, a little too quickly than he'd meant to.

Smithers laughed, "Not feeling very adventurous tonight huh?" he joked as went to the kitchen to fetch the drinks.

Burns sat stiffly, Trying to get me drunk eh? I know the game you're playing! he thought. This was just insane; everything Smithers said lately seemed to be laden with double meanings. One minute things were normal and he was laughing at Smithers idiocy and the next he was sitting there blushing furiously, angry with himself and Smithers. Something had to happen! He couldn't go through this nonsense everyday!

Smithers came back and sat the two glasses down on the coffee table. The one closer to Burns appeared to be water, but the one near Smithers looked like some sort of dark brown liquid, probably brandy. Smithers seemed to take notice of him eying the glass curiously and quickly explained.

"Oh, it's just a soda. If you're sober then I want to be too." Smithers took a sip from the glass and sat it back down onto the table. Smithers was a little sensitive when it came to his occasional drinking problem, so Burns had only seen him drunk a couple of times, but the thought of a stumbling and disoriented Smithers was both amusing and a bit uncomfortable.

"Hey, why don't we play a game or something?" Smithers suggested.

"A game?" asked Burns.

"Yeah like charades, truth or dare or spin the bottle..." Smithers sort of mumbled the last one but Burns still managed to hear it. He would usually let such a ludicrous suggestion go without question, yet he couldn't just let this one pass.

"Spin the bottle eh? How does that game go exactly?" Burns bated, eager to see how he would explain his way out of this one. Time for him to squirm for a change.

"Oh! Uh... it's where you uh... sit in a circle and um..." Smithers rubbed his forehead apprehensively, obviously struggling for a response, "did I say spin the bottle?"

"Yes, I believe you did." Burns was definitely enjoying this way more than he should. Maybe this crush that Smithers had wasn't such a bad thing after all if it gave Burns a reason to torment him with it for his own amusement. It would serve him right for bringing all of this awkwardness upon them in the first place.

"Well, it was a stupid suggestion anyway, I don't know why I even mentioned it." Smithers looked down to his hands in his lap, studying his fingernails as his face and even his ears grew redder by the second. Yes, this was definitely going to be fun.

"I have a suggestion, why not a game of truth?" Burns suggested. Finally, a chance to fish for a little information under the guise of an innocent game. Smithers looked visibly uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat, but he reluctantly a greed to the game.

A.N. - Sorry for the delay folks, I was distracted by the Winter Olympics and this awful headache. Fully recovered now!

Up next: Burns decides to toy with Smithers a little more. Always a sadistic side to him! Will Smithers sit back and take it or will he try to beat him at his own game?