warning:
there are some non-consensual themes at the beginning.

also i have severe writer's block and this chapter isn't very good. there's going to be some new characters in the next chapter! since i didn't get to the angst this time around. o:

"So do you go chasing after every person with low self-esteem?"

"No! Jesus, Luke. Do I seem like that much of a douchebag to you?"

"Yeah, you do."

"Well I guess I gotta fix that, huh?"

"You can try but I'm pretty convinced you're like every other guy I've dated."

"All your exes say you're a frigid ice queen."

"How charming. I'm assuming you want a challenge?"

"If there's a challenge then it's usually worth it."

Lukas smiled at him and pulled him down for a chaste kiss. They had been watching TV, some office-comedy on late at night while they were eating Chinese food out of styrofoam containers and trying to finish their reports. They hadn't made much progress between Mikkel snorting at cliche jokes and Lukas catching horrible second-hand embarrassment for the characters on the show.

"That's sweet."

This was just a memory of course, a memory infiltrating a dream that was soon to morph into a terrible nightmare. It started to shift out of pattern only a few seconds later. It wasn't how Lukas usually remembered it;; they had continued with light kisses and holding each other and then they had gone to sleep fully clothed on the couch in the next room.

"God, you're such a whore."

"No, Mikkel-"

"Don't "No, Mikkel" me you little slut."

Lukas could do nothing but stare at him. They say if you realize you're dreaming while you're dreaming then you wake up. Lukas realized and he was frozen. He felt stuck. Mikkel felt so real between his legs, jeans rubbing together. But it wasn't Mikkel. His face was wrong. His teeth were too long and his mouth was too big and his eyes were all but missing.

"What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know, Lukas, what is wrong with you?"

"I was asking you."

"You're sick in the head. You're having doubts about the people you love and I'm here now and I'm going to tear you apart from the inside out and you're going to melt and I'm going to be the one eating all the leftovers."

"Get off of me. I want to wake up."

"Good luck with that, princess. I'm not done with you yet."

Those teeth plunged into his neck and he could feel each one of them, stabbing through skin and vein and touching the other teeth going to meet them. It hurt. It hurt so much.

"Lukas, Lukas!" There was a hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him still, even though Lukas's fist was drawn back to hit Mikkel in the face. Lukas slowly came to his senses and lowered his hand as Mikkel drew him close to his own body. He was already clean and dressed. Lukas could only focus on one thought in his head.

"What time is it?"

"It's around two in the morning." Mikkel said in hushed tones, trying his best to soothe the other who was still shaking.

"Jesus, how are you even dressed?"

"I was hungry. Also you were screaming."

"…Sorry."

"No, it's okay, I mean I don't know what you were having a nightmare about. So I can't really say you don't have a reason for it. If you want to talk I'm right here, all right?"

"All right."

"I think you should get up. Berwald got Peter but I don't think I can get Emil up by myself."

"What are you, helpless?"

"Yeah."

"Fine."

Lukas had a hard time even looking at Mikkel after he got dressed. He combed his hair and smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt like he normally did, then he shoved his feet into his shoes and went down the hall to wake Emil. Hana and Emil were under the comforter, the dog was cradling Emil like she would a puppy; their chests rose and fell together.

He felt bad when he had to approach them. Hana didn't wake up, but growled in her sleep when Lukas approached. Lukas chuckled as he scooped Emil up in his arms. Bright blue eyes fluttered open to look at him and tiny fingers touched his cheek as if Emil was making sure that everything was real.

"Good morning, baby."

"'morning Daddy."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Good." Emil dragged out the 'oo' and giggled softly when Lukas carried him out into the hallway.

"I think today is a pajama day." he cooed.

He walked out into the living room where everyone else was sitting at the table and made a beeline for Berwald's unoccupied reclining chair. Lukas sat down and threw his legs over the armrest - Emil started to suck his thumb and leaned against Lukas's chest. Lukas closed his eyes and tried his best to ignore the noise everyone was making. There was a pounding in his head and he wanted to ignore it; he was already extremely grateful that he hadn't thrown up yet. Now it was just the drowsiness and the sleep-deprivation lulling him to unconsciousness.

It was about fifteen minutes later when Mikkel shook Lukas awake (again). Lukas's head felt clearer now, despite skipping breakfast, and Emil was still asleep with his limbs draped across Lukas's sides.

"We heard a distress signal on the radio this morning. It was coming from the fitness center a few miles away."

Lukas looked up at him, weary and unwilling to go attempt to rescue some survivors who had probably already been slaughtered.

"But it's daytime, they don't like the light."

"I don't know if you've noticed, babe, but it's been dark for a while. I dunno if it's smog or clouds but it's doing the trick."

"I don't want to go."

"Babe."

"Stop calling me that... I'm not your whore." The words came out before Lukas could stop them. He covered his mouth with his hands and stared at Mikkel wide-eyed, whose face had contorted into one of confusion and hurt. "Mikkel, I'm so sorry. I-"

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting so strange. If you're afraid of me just say it. Say it!"

Emil woke up just as Mikkel raised his voice - it startled him. His fingers dug into Lukas and he held fast and the tiniest whine escaped him. Lukas cradled him close and kept his eyes downcast; he could feel Tino and Berwald watching them, but it was just background to the betrayed look in Mikkel's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mikkel. I didn't mean it."

Mikkel moved away and left Lukas sitting there. Emil hiccuped as Lukas got to his feet and began gathering their things alongside the others. Everything resumed as it had been - the packed up the supplies and the food and Peter said his goodbyes to the house and fastened Hana's leash onto her collar. They loaded everything into the cars. Tino suggested that Lukas ride with Berwald and Peter - maybe all Lukas needed was a break for himself.

Maybe.