Chapter 4

"Don't make me go back. Doctor. Please. Please, don't make me go back."

The Doctor looked on numbly as he took everything from Donna, everything that he'd given her. Her tears and breathless, terrified pleas burned into his hearts all over again.

"No. No, no, please! Please no. No. No, no-"

He forced her frantic voice from his ears, turned away from the inevitable end. He had buried this pain already! Why was it so fresh?

Knowing that the Dream Lord was watching him with sadistic glee, he refused to let his own tears fall. He had survived this before, and he would again.

But as soon as he steadied himself, the world shifted around him. Suddenly he was back on the Valiant, the Master falling before him as someone wrestled the gun from Lucy's trembling hand. His body moved of its own volition, cradling his friend.

"Dying in your arms," the Master taunted. "Happy now?"

He reminded himself sternly that his oldest friend had not died here. Though it had seemed so permanent at the time, he'd found a way back. And they'd even regained some of that cameraderie, if only out of the Master's selfish desire for revenge.

The reminder didn't help. It was almost worse that he'd lost Koschei later, after that tantalizing hint of friendship had emerged between them. No, better not to think about that. He turned back to the scene playing out in front of him.

"Regenerate!" he was screaming.

But Koschei didn't.

The Doctor turned to the man beside him. "What's the point of all this?" His voice came out hoarse. "Why keep me here? Why show me these things?"

Instead of his usual gloating and mockery, the Dream Lord regarded him with hard eyes. "Because you deserve them," he hissed. "Because I'm sick of you ruining everything you touch. Because I want you to hurt."

Rose had been, to be honest, a little relieved when she'd been greeted by a companion instead of the Doctor himself, even if he was pointing a sword at her. Since the end of John's recording, her stomach had been twisting itself into knot after knot after knot.

This wasn't like the last time she'd returned. There was nothing accidental in the way they'd parted, and she couldn't help worrying that maybe he'd moved on or didn't want her around anymore. In fact, she'd started hoping that she wouldn't be able to locate his TARDIS and Emergency Program Ten's second control loop would kick in. She knew Jack would always be happy to see her.

Now instead of nervous, she was furious. This useless companion had known the Doctor was in danger, and he hadn't done anything about it. All her hesitation about coming here was washed away. She was going to save her Doctor and then she was going to give this Rory an earful.

Until she noticed his expression - not guilty or afraid, but hard and a little sad.

"Why didn't you go after him?" she asked, pushing her anger aside and keeping her words neutral.

Rory dropped his face into his hand and shuddered. "The Doctor went mad, like a wild animal, when - when Amy died. It was all I could do bring her back here. The ones who killed her, they're still standing guard outside the TARDIS. I'd never have made it back to him in one piece, and I can't exactly afford to die any more than I already have. I thought he'd come back, so I waited." He paused to gather himself and looked back at her. "It's been three weeks."

Rose was stunned. So many questions ran through her head and she wanted to ask them all at once. She managed to restrain herself. One at a time. "Who's Amy?" Her Torchwood training took over, and she slipped into questioning mode. Firm, but kind.

Rory's composure wavered. "My wife. We've both been traveling with the Doctor since before our wedding. It's hard to tell how long it's been for us, but it's been about two years at home."

Rose felt his grief pierce her heart. She knew what that loss was like, and Amy's death had clearly devastated the Doctor. "How did she die?"

"Blasted by a Headless Monk."

She'd come back to that later. "But then you brought her back to the TARDIS."

"Yeah, so we could bury her at home. Or maybe I was hoping the Doctor would manage some sort of miracle, bring her back to life. It's happened before. But since he never came back, the TARDIS showed me this... this casket where I could put her body. It's preserving her, but it seems a little pointless now. I can't go after the Doctor, but I can't pilot the TARDIS and get us out of here, either. We're still stuck."

He sighed. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's just - there doesn't seem much point to hiding it now. The Doctor's probably dead or worse, and Amy's gone, and I'm stuck here in limbo until I die of old age."

His words stirred a memory within her, faint but clear. She hadn't really understood it then. Hadn't understood how it was possible. "Life is easy, just Nature's way of keeping meat fresh." Now it made sense to her, but she'd ignored those words for so long when she realized they wouldn't save John. But maybe they could help Amy and Rory.

But first she wanted to satisfy her curiosity. "You said you'd died before. Are you..." Are you like Jack? she wanted to ask.

Rory looked startled. "Those were flukes. A lot of strange things were happening and I sort of got caught up in it." His eyes went distant, recalling old memories. "I died in the Silurian city, and then I was unwritten. Like I never existed. Then I woke up as a Roman, with both sets of memories. I was the Roman soldier and the boy from Leadworth. That's where I got the sword," he added as an aside.

"The Doctor and Amy showed up, but she didn't remember me. That was awful, but it only got worse. It turned out that I was just a plastic dummy that these aliens had created from Amy's subconscious in order to trap the Doctor. And I shot Amy. Couldn't stop it, they were controlling me."

The Nestene Consciousness, she'd guess. Rose nodded encouragement to continue.

"I thought that was the end. The Doctor said no. He put Amy in this box, the Pandorica - supposed to be a prison, but it had healing capabilities, too. A lot happened that day, it's too complicated to explain. Basically, the Doctor rebooted the universe. Amy and I woke up on the morning of our wedding day and it all went on from there.

"But you see what I mean. I'm not immortal or anything. I don't think anyone really is. Even the Doctor can die."

Rose nodded again, wondering whether the Doctor had explained regeneration to his new companions. "Everything has its time," she echoed Sarah Jane. "Still, I know a man who's near enough immortal that it makes no difference, and I think we could use his help."

She stood and grabbed Rory's hand to drag him to his feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To visit a friend." She pulled her new acquaintance through the door and back toward the control room. "We have two ships at our disposal, remember, and I can pilot them both. I think we'll take mine so as not to raise any alarms among the enemy. You locked your doors, right?"

Rory followed along helplessly. "Yeah. But, hold on, shouldn't we bring Amy? We can-"

Rose cut him off. "No. We'll come back for her. I'll explain later." She pushed open the door to her TARDIS. "Go on, get in." And before he could protest any more, she was steering them back into the Vortex and then on to 2011 Earth. Cardiff, to be exact.