Hello everyone. I'm sorry if it's been a while since I have updated but I can't always cave in and give you everything you want when you want it. But I imagine it has been long enough. So here it is, enjoy.
Chapter Four
Ginny's POV:
Walking through the long corridors with Draco Malfoy at my side was disquieting to say the least. But it wasn't terrible. These last few hours haven't been awful at all… with him that is. My whole situation I found myself in was right out from so many of my worst nightmares. Perhaps that's why he wasn't so bad. I pondered all of this as we drew nearer to the dinning room.
I can sense his uneasiness and it's making me more nervous than I already was. I don't know what to expect anymore. I don't even remember how I ended up here. All I remember was falling asleep next to Harry. His vibrant green eyes were the last thing I saw before I awoke in a dark, cold room bound and gagged.
I wonder if everyone was okay. Did anything happen to mom or dad? Was it possible that my whole family was here too? The idea made me feel queasier than I already felt. I wanted to know that they were all home at the borough safe and sound not going through the same terrors I was going through.
"Are they safe?" I can't help it anymore. I need to get answers. Darn it, I deserved to get all my questions answered and so much more. And Draco would be the one to do this for me.
"Who?" I stop him in the middle of the hall and make him look me in the eye. "Listen, we don't have time for this right now." He sounds worried. I wonder if he knows what I'm talking about. My eyes start to tear up but I make myself look at him, even if I am showing weakness to the enemy. 'He's not the enemy' I tell myself as an afterthought. 'He's trying to help, I can tell.'
"I don't care if we're late damn it!" I cry and stamp my foot childishly just so I can make a point. I wobble a little on my feet and he takes a firmer hold on me. He then tilts his head towards mine. Surprisingly my heart starts to race as he draws closer. He's now an inch or so from my face.
"I'm going to say this once, and only once, Ginny, so listen carefully." I nod meekly but my mind is transfixed on the fact that he called me by my name. I'm not sure if I really like it when he does. It makes the situation I'm in so real. We both aren't in school where he can just call me Weasley and make fun of my red hair. But I sincerely wish we were.
"We can't afford to be late!" I open my mouth to ask why but I catch myself. Of coarse we can't afford to be late. He-who-must-not-be-named will not excuse us being late just because of me. I should have known this. I hang my head while silent tears run down my cheeks.
"I promise I'll tell you everything you want to know once we get back to my room." He cups my face in his smooth hands and wipes away my tears carefully before taking hold of my arm. "But we can't speak of it now."
He hurriedly, leads me down yet another corridor and then stops at a set of double doors.
"Follow my lead. That's all I can offer you." He reaches for the door handle but I grab for it and hold his hand still.
"I'm scared," I choke out, my heart thumps in my throat and I feel like I could pass out at any moment. I have been haunted with the memory of Tom Riddle for five years now. I wasn't ready to face him again. It was bad enough last night having him watch as I was defiled but I couldn't sit in a room with the man who had ruined my life so many years ago. "I can't do this, please don't make me."
Gently, he takes my hand within his and offers a small squeeze. I'm trembling from head to foot now. I feel like a leaf that's about to plummet from the tree to the ground.
"I have to make you do this. You don't have a choice in the matter." I didn't have a choice. I hated the sound of that. But I knew this. After all I didn't have a choice last night. 'Neither did he' I tell myself. I would have to forget last night. As awful as it was, it was over with. Nothing more could come of it.
I nod as he slips his cool fingers over my hand, sending involuntary goosebumps to rise. "I won't let anything happen." He then turns the door handle and pushes it open.
I almost collapse on the floor in sheer terror once I catch a glimpse of Voldemort. Quickly, Draco takes my hand from behind my back, offering some courage. It was nice to know I wasn't doing this alone but chancing a glance at him he looked oddly distressed. He didn't often show emotion, but this emotion I could read clearly in his eyes.
"My Lord," Draco says and bows obediently. I say nothing. I can't even make myself turn away. Voldemort glances at Draco for hardly even a moment then turns back to me. I can feel his eyes on me, piercing through my flesh. I feel utterly exposed even though I am completely covered from my neck down.
"Too long has it been, Ginerva." He whispers in a silky voice that sends shivers down my spine. "Come, sit by me." He pulls out the chair from under the table and gestures for me to come forward and sit. I couldn't move. I willed myself to take a step towards him but it was like my feet were nailed to the floor.
Silently, Draco takes my arm and leads me to the chair. I look up at him fearfully and ask with my eyes why he was doing this. He didn't answer back, he just sat me in the chair and pushed me in.
"You may take a seat, Draco." He nods and walks to the other side of the table, across from me. Effortlessly, he pulls a chair for himself and takes a seat.
I wish he wasn't so far away. I needed his comfort but I trusted what he said. He wouldn't let anything happen to me. I didn't know him, he was practically a stranger to me but I trusted him with everything I possessed even though my mind told me over and over that this was Draco Malfoy and he was not to be trusted.
Voldemort's cold, shrewd gaze brings me back from my thoughts and I make myself look away from Draco to him. I can only look into his crimson eyes for a moment before I turn away violently.
"You must be hungry, my dear." At this the table fills up with the most delectable foods I have ever seen in my life. Some of the choices I have only imagined and now they were laid out before me. My stomach lurched at the vision before me. It truly was ironic that I had to become ill now.
For a minute I wondered if I would be sick. I looked to over at Draco. He was poised to jump up from his seat at any given moment. All I had to do was vomit and he would be at my side. And perhaps I could even get out of this whole horrible ordeal. The idea was tempting but I don't want to embarrass myself further. And something told me that I wouldn't be that lucky for my little plan to work. I would just end up sitting here soiled and feeling even worse then I already did.
"You don't look well at all, Ginerva." Merlin, did I hate when he called me by my given name. It made me feel dirty, ashamed…defiled. Like I didn't deserve to be loved since it reminded me what I was capable of doing.
By my second year I made sure everyone had forgotten that Ginerva was once what I was called. The unique name was transformed to 'Virginia' or even 'Ginny'. He made me hate my own name. That was just how terrible he really was.
"Perhaps I can help with that." I turn to him in confusion. I don't even know what he's talking about. But on the other hand I don't care. I just watch as he smirks and summons a small vile from across the room. Odd how I didn't notice it's existence until now.
I wonder what it's for but decide that I'll probably find out in a matter of moments. One thing about Tom, he never lets me ponder something for too long. He thinks I'll hurt my pretty little head. I almost snort with the irony of the thought.
I watch as it the glass vile slips firmly into his awaiting hand. He fingers the cap and eyes me possessively. The expression is familiar, however I think I enjoyed it more on a handsomer face.
"This will make you feel better, my dear." Yes, anything would make me feel better but why was I feeling so horrible? I can only remember waking up and feeling as if my insides were on fire.
My gaze wonders over to Draco and I try to remember if he had anything to do with how I'm feeling now but nothing comes to mind. I shrug helplessly and gratefully reach for the vile. Believing that whatever it contains will make me feel well again but just as my fingers skim the surface of the glass it's pulled away out of my reach. He then laughs.
His cruel simper ignites a familiar feeling of anger inside me. It replaces my current feeling of terror. For a moment and for that moment alone I feel stronger, braver, more like myself than I have in the last twenty-four hours.
"Ah, you never cease to amuse me, Ginerva. You really are a trusting person, aren't you?" I look down in shame as my cheeks tinge pink with embarrassment. I hated how he knew me so well. It irked me how he knew me better than all my brothers combined. "You will trust anyone who proceeds to help you. It's an admirable quality but extremely naive." I wish I knew where he was going with this.
"Take Draco for example." I look over at him and notice how he's fidgeting in his seat. He looks quite uncomfortable with having attention thrown at him. Strange, the Draco Malfoy my brothers ranted on about would have loved to have any sort of attention thrown his way. This Draco Malfoy before me, however, looked ready to pass out under Voldemort's scrutinizing stare.
"You trusted him enough to drink what he had offered you this morning. After all the years of him torturing you and your family you readily take what he gives you without question." I shake my head frantically back in forth. 'It was just water. He tried it himself'. I tell this to myself but I can now remember that after I drank the water I became violently ill.
"It was just water." I look at him, silently asking if that really was what it was. After all I trusted him. He promised that nothing would happen to me. He promised.
He looked at me for then quickly turned away. For I moment I could have sworn I heard a whisper of 'I'm sorry'.
"Just water," Voldemort laughed in pure amusement. "You're more clever then I would have taken you for, Draco. Or perhaps you really are as stupid as you look." He blanches at the comment but no longer am I analyzing him for clues. I look to Tom for answers like I had done so many years ago.
"You silly girl, you didn't just think I had him fuck you for kicks and grins, did you?" I hang my head even lower and wait for him to continue. "No, you're not that stupid. And you know me far better than you lead on. You know that everything I do is for a purpose." I start to tear up. I have an inkling of an idea where this is headed but I still pray to whatever gods that will listen, that I'm wrong.
"Ginerva, my dear child, I promised you long ago that I would make you mine. And now I have. You will be giving birth to my heir." A strange, strangled cry that I have never heard before leaked out from my parted lips as I slipped from off the chair, gracefully onto the floor. I felt as if everything was falling apart around me as I panted pitifully on the Malfoy's regal dining room rug. I take one look at Draco as he stands to look over the table at me and then I suppose I pass out because that's the last thing I remember.
Many hours later, or it could have been a few minutes later for all I knew, I woke up in a room that was yet again unfamiliar. I didn't panic though. After all I knew that I was still somewhere in the Malfoy Manor. I just laid on whatever surface I was placed upon and let everything that had happened so far flood my mind.
Flashes of memories swam before me. I close my eyes and let them all wash over me until they were drowning me in shame and self-loathing. I rock under the pressure and begged for my life all to come to an end.
The oh so bitter sweet feeling of my breath hitching in my throat while my lungs constrict gasping out for another breath of air was the only thing that makes me open my eyes. I wanted to die but I couldn't be so god damn lucky now could I? I choke back a sob now remembering the last thing that had happened to me.
I had been raped of my last shred of innocence and in replace had been impregnated with the spawn of the devil. I had always believed after my first year of school that the horror would end there. I had always been so quick to believe that Harry would come and rescue me from all of the injustices of the world.
'Well where was he now?' I shook my head refusing to allow myself to think that way. Harry was the only shred of hope I had left and I wasn't about to go and ruin it just because I was looking for someone to blame. He would come find me and save me from this horrible nightmare and make everything better I knew he would. That was the only thing I could look forward to and believe and trust. Just as I thought this, the door opened and in walked Malfoy.
He looked as self assured and pompous as ever as he walked into the room carrying what looked to be a bowl of soup and a glass of water. He set them carefully on top of the bedside table then leaned against the wall and eyed me curiously.
"What the hell do you want, Malfoy?" I hiss. He was the last person I ever wanted to see and yet I was almost glad he was here so I could work off some of this anger. I wanted someone to blame and now I had someone. And he truly was the perfect candidate. After all he was the one that impregnated me with his demon spawn.
He cocks a brow and folds his arms across his chest. "So we're back to last names, hmm, Weasley?" I stand up from the bed and take a dangerous step towards him but he doesn't even blink an eye.
"Why shouldn't I call you Malfoy? It was stupid for me to be fooled into thinking you were someone I could trust. All your promises…" I snort to cover up the sob that spills from me pathetically. "More like lies." He shakes his head but doesn't say anything in his defense. I wish he would though, just so I could scream at him for being wrong, wrong, wrong!
"I thought you might be hungry," he points to the bowl of soup. I eye it warily. I am hungry, but I wasn't about to show it. I walk over to the other side of the bed and take hold of it. It doesn't look like much but I suppose it would suffice. I carefully take aim and throw it strait towards him. He moves out of the way just in time though. 'Damn'.
The china bowl shatters in three proportionate pieces while the contents of what was to be my dinner runs down the dingy wall leaking onto the floor is a sizable puddle.
I'm not completely satisfied with how this all turned out. I would have been much happier if the soup was running down his arrogant face instead but I supposed this would have to do.
"So this is how it's going to be?" He asks with an amused smirk. I shrug as I lift the glass of water up to my lips. I pause and make a show of it by smiling wickedly as I tip the glass, allowing the water, or whatever it was this time to spill onto the floor.
"I'm not a fool, Malfoy." He nods, the corners of his mouth twitching as he suppresses a smile.
"Ah, of coarse not. So then you knew that was all you were getting till morning? Or whenever I decide, which in your case could be a while. Especially if you plan to make a habit of throwing things at me."
"I'm not hungry." As if on cue my stomach rumbled disproving the point I was attempting to make.
"Right," He agrees with a chuckle. I wish I had more to throw at him. If I did have something to throw the odds of me hitting him this time were pretty good. After all I was a fairly good chaser. I hardly ever missed the goals. This one just happened to move.
"Weasley, you can believe what you want about me. I never said that you had to like me or trust me for that matter. That was your own doing." He walks slowly to the door. "I just wanted you to know I never lied to you-"
"So the 'water' was just a little trick, was it? I bet you had a right ole laugh about that. Make her as sick as a dog and then see how much fun she is, right?"
"I didn't know what it was or what it did. It was a mistake me giving it to you, but I had my orders."
"Oh your orders. If he told you to jump off your broom would you?"
"Yes," he yells, throwing his hands up in frustration. Then takes a few steps closer. "You don't quite understand the predicament I'm in, do you?" I open my mouth but he cuts me off. "I screwed up last year and now I'm paying for it. Do you think I want to do everything I'm told to do? Do you think I like torturing house elves for hours on end just so I can perfect my 'killing technique'? Do you think I enjoy it? Well if you do, your wrong!"
He stalks to the bed and pushes me roughly upon it. I fall awkwardly but I don't have time to do anything about it since he is now on top of me. My breath hitches in my throat and I began to panic. Having him so close only brings back unwanted memories.
"Do you think I wanted my first time to be a pitiless rape with a girl I had never even met," he hisses in my ear. He then grabs my wrists roughly and raises them above my head.
"Malfoy, please."
"Do you think I enjoyed toying with you in front of all those people, my own mother and father?"
"I'm sorry, please, Malfoy you're scaring me."
"Scaring you? I'm hardly even touching you." He smirks and licks his lips. "But I suppose you would be quite frightened of the man who raped you, wouldn't you?" I don't know what he wants me to say. But I'll do anything if he would just stop.
"I-I'm sorry." He looks into my eyes for a moment then lets go of my wrists. He crawls off of me. He looks frightened. He breaths a shaky breath then turns back to the door.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't intend to. It just…I don't like to see you cower before me when you don't even know me. It's sickening." His silent confession moves me and I cautiously get off from the bed and make my way over to him. But before I can reach him, he opens the door and departs into his own room, leaving me with my own thoughts.
I feel bad about treating him the way I did. But I was just so upset and confused. I didn't stop to realize that he was in this with me. I slowly made my way to the bed and carefully lay down so that I wouldn't wrinkle my dress and think about one of the last things Harry and I had seriously talked about.
He had told me about what he witnessed the night of Dumbledore's death. How Draco didn't go through with Voldemort's plan. Yes, Dumbledore had died but not at the hands of Draco. He was given the chance to fulfill Voldemort's wishes and refused…or didn't go through with it. Either way he proved he wasn't a killer. Harry had even said that for a moment in time Draco considered taking Dumbledore's offer and go into the protection of the Order of the Phoenix along with his family.
I wondered what would have happened if he had agreed. Would I be in this same position? No, I suppose I wouldn't. We both would have been better off I imagine. If only he hadn't hesitated in taking Dumbledore's offer. I wonder if that's what he meant by not knowing him. I was probably one of the only people who did though.
I close my eyes and shake my head of all these thoughts. There was no use in making myself feel worse about something I couldn't change. Some things we all would just have to live with. I sigh and try and find a comfortable spot on the bed. Once at ease, I will myself to sleep and to try and think of a time when I was truly happy. Funny how so few memories come to mind…
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. Seriously, I love knowing that people are enjoying the story so far. Once again if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to throw them out to me. I'm kind of having trouble getting these two crazy kids together (but never fear it'll happen) Thank you all and Chapter 5 will be updated shortly.