A/N:

I am in fact writing one-shots now. As something to pass the time, really. I may or may not continue them if I get positive reception. This is a way to get the stress out, and the horri-bad ideas out of my head.

All one-shots will be titled 'One-Shot Wonder:' followed by the actual title of the fic.

That's just a heads up.

And now, for the disclaimer.

WARNING! The following fiction(s) contains the following:
Crack.
Emo-ness.
Bad humor.
Oc-ness.
Alternate universes.
Bashing.
Character death.
General stupidity.
Swearing, and crass language in general.
Ranting.
Illogical fights.
Idiot-balls.
Extremely long A/Ns.
And general insanity overall.

Viewer discretion is advised. Enjoy.

And one last thing: I don't own any anime or manga that is referenced or directly referred to in this story, nor do I own the characters, plot, etc. Basically, I don't own a single damn thing. Not even these ideas.

Viewer discretion is advised.

One-Shot Wonder: Once and Future King.

Evangelion and Fate/Stay Night.

Summary: Shinji Ikari. Son of Gendo Ikari and Yui Ikari. Pilot of a bio-mechanical construct known as an Evangelion. And, he just so happens to be the reincarnation of a king that reigned over a wet isle in the old country. And there is no mistake, this boy is a king. The one who ruled once shall come again. And so a King shall return.

Shinji Ikari lay awake in his bed, staring at a white ceiling.

"Unfamiliar ceiling..."

He had been abandoned. His father, Gendo Ikari, had foisted him off onto his uncle. Casting him away, like some unworthy sack of flesh, like some untouchable, some leper, some disease.

His father didn't want him. Not after his mother had died.

And that was how this little boy found himself. Staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, living with unfamiliar guardians.

And that was how this little boy went to sleep, musing on his unfortunate circumstances. He cried himself to sleep.

Why? Why did his father abandon him? Why did mother have to leave? Why was this happening?

Shinji Ikari wept. Wept, and despaired.

This cycle continued, for quite some time. His guardians could only watch, watch and try to comfort the sad boy. Try to give him some support, and hope that it could be enough.

(Line break Button Broken. Sour.)

One night, Shinji Ikari began dreaming. Now, this may not seem like a significant event. However, the nature of this dream was highly unusual.

A sword. That was the primary focus of his dream, the crux, the point. A sword. A magnificent, golden sword. A King's sword, a ruler's sword, a lord's sword. A sword fit for one who has dominion over his vassals. A classic, straight-edged European broadsword, a holy blade of light.

And he remembered its name.

Caliburn.

The sword was stuck in a stone, tip and blade embedded in hard unyielding rock. The sword and stone rested on top of a grassy hill, in a strange island country.

And on that stone, words were written. These words were in English, yet Shinji Ikari had no difficulty in deciphering the language, although he had not learned a single speck of English in his life.

Shinji remembered that inscription, remembered that stone.

He knew what it read.

'Whosoe'er pulleth out this sword of this stone is rightwise king born of England.'

Shinji remembered walking up to the sword in the stone. He remembered, grasping the hilt, feeling warm metal, heated from the sun's rays. He remembered pulling the magnificent sword free, golden blade shining as it was extracted from its prison.

And he remembered the light that filled the area.

As Shinji Ikari woke, from that dream, from that memory that he had no right possessing, he remembered.

Caliburn. The sword that chooses kings. The Golden Sword of Assured Victory.

But why? Why did he know this sword's name? What was the reason behind this?

It didn't matter. All that Shinji Ikari knew, was that that dream was one of the most peaceful he had had in a while.

(Line Break Button broken. Sour.)

And so it begins. The King that appears at the end of the world returns. A thousand step journey has been undertaken. A sword, recovered. A lost soul, reborn.

A King, resurrected like Lazarus from the long sleep. And he shall sing, a song of salvation, glory, sanctity. And the light of his soul shall shine through the city, and those that behold him shall know that he is the rightful king.

(Line break Button Broken. Sour.)

2015 AD, Tokyo-3

One Misaro Katsuragi cursed vehemently as she sped through the streets of the fortress city known as Tokyo-3.

Of all the times-!

In the distance, a massive behemoth lumbered, an enormous vaguely humanoid figure, with a stylized bird-like mask on what appeared to be its head. It was currently being harried by various military aircraft, bullets spewing from barrels, VTOLs buzzing about the giant like flies, or giant insects buzzing around a source of food.

The weapons were doing piss-poor damage to the behemoth. As in, one could throw water balloons filled with urine at it and do more damage.

Sachiel had arrived. He came, he saw. He destroyed.

(Line break Button... It's FUCKING BROKEN!)

"Due to the special emergency, all lines are currently unavailable."

A slim hand promptly hung up the phone, the owner of said hand realizing that he gained nothing from listening to an endlessly looping message.

Shinji Ikari sighed, in slight exasperation.

Oh, he knew that there was danger out there. His warrior's intuition allowed him to know that something, something was not right with the world.

But he could do nothing about it. Not in this position.

The sound of rotors grew louder. He turned his head, to see a helicopter, discharging its missiles at-

Wait. What was that thing? A giant? Just what was going on in Tokyo-3?

That thing was abnormal. That thing... That was not of the domain of man. Greater, lesser and more than what a puny mind could comprehend. So mighty that the ground shook with each step it took.

A spear of red shot out from an arm. Impaling a harrying helicopter. The helicopter fell.

Shinji Ikari watched on, slipping into a calm state of mind, oddly enough. Where others would have panicked, this boy retained his resolve.

The boy, no, young man, analyzed the situation with a steady, practiced eye.

It was at that moment that a sports car sped into view, screeching to a halt. The door opened.

"Get in!"

Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"You're Misato Katsuragi?"

The woman driving the car was dressed in a tight purple one-piece, face obscured by large sunglasses.

"Yes! Never mind that, hurry up and get in!"

Shinji got into the car, which promptly sped away, making several reckless turns and moving at considerably more than the speed limit.

Misato sighed.

"That was close. You idiot! Why did you just stand there? We could have been killed by that... That thing!"

Shinji closed his eyes.

"We're still alive, aren't we?"

Misato sighed.

"What's with that reaction?"

Shinji said nothing.

"...You're a conversationalist, huh?"

Silence.

Misato sighed.

"In any case... You're probably wondering about that giant that was attacking, right? Well... That's what we call an Angel."

Part of Shinji's mind wondered why on earth they would call a gods-damned demon an Angel of all things. Abomination seemed like a better fitting term.

Of course, he didn't actually voice this thought.

"So..." Misato mused. "You're Shinji Ikari."

"Yes."

"Don't talk much, huh?"

"Making meaningless quips at a time when we are fleeing for our lives doesn't seem to be conductive in any way, shape, or form."

Misato sighed.

"Well, you're cheery." She turned her head to regard the boy, causing his eyes to widen in horror.

Who the hell turns away from the road when they're driving?! Shinji didn't want to die! Je was quite fond of living!

Misato raised an eyebrow. At first glance, the boy seemed to be quite normal. He dressed in a black coat and black jeans, with a crimson shirt underneath the coat. He looked almost nothing like his father, Gendo Ikari. Shinji seemed to take after his mother in that regard. He wasn't solidly built, but he wasn't completely skinny.

However, on looking at his face, she paused. While Shinji wasn't completely unattractive (He was more 'cute' than handsome', there was a palpable aura around him. It was as if Shinji Ikari was more than human, and she could tell that he was different. Unique. Almost as if she was in the presence of nobility of sorts.

Hell, even the little fidgeting movements he was making were graceful! Add that to the fact that Shinji didn't seem to be panicking, like any other teenager his age would probably have been! He as cool as a cucumber!

Who the hell is this guy?

They continued driving on in complete silence.

"So. You're the one sent me that photo?"

Misato grinned.

"You like it?"

"I find your perverse sense of humor deplorable."

Her face fell. "Oh, you have got to be shitting me."

A/N:

Heh. And that's how things started for our Once and Future King.

ALL HAIL SHINJI IKARI! No, not really lol.

Yeah, this thing was pretty bad. I don't know WHAT I was thinking...

This entire one-shot came to me in a dream. It actually, came to me in a dream. I blame Evangelion and Warhammer 40k for this. Curse my strange imagination!

For the record, I am basing King Arthur off of the one from Fate/Prototype. You know, the one that was ACTUALLY a GUY?! Well, kind of, but not really. Gah! I'm tired!

Other Fate/Stay characters would have made their appearances, if I was going to continue this story.
As for pairings, well... Hmm. I don't rightly know. If I continued this, I'd probably throw my hands up in frustration, say 'Fuck it all', and get on with making a harem pairing.

I may or may not continue writing this after I finish F:ZHR. Really depends on the reception that I get for this one-shotesque thing.