Okay so this is where a lot of you will hate me...

One night turned into two, which turned into a week, and Stan watched helplessly as Vicki started to fall apart. She lived in the tree house alone, checking every morning with the McCormicks to see if Kenny had turned up in his old bed overnight. And then she'd spend the rest of the day walking around the school like a zombie. She didn't answer when the teachers asked her a question, didn't bother taking notes or doing the work. It was like she was in suspended animation, waiting. Only every once in a while, talking to one of their friends, or breaking down in tears.

The only one she would really talk with, was Kyle. Of course it was Kyle—he was her best friend—but Stan couldn't help feeling a little jealous. They didn't say it in so many words, but everyone knew that over the years, his best friend had shifted from Kyle to Kenny. And with the other two best friends doing their thing, and Kenny gone... he was alone. Even with Wendy.

"Stan, I'm worried about you."

"Me?"

They were walking home from a movie, having spent most of the date in near silence. "Yeah, you. I know everyone's worrying about Vicki because she's taking Kenny being gone so hard, but I see that something's wrong with you too. Can you tell me what it is?"

"...I miss having my best friend here." He said quietly. "It's not that you're not enough, Wends, but everyone needs a best friend too. You have Bebe, Vicki has Kyle, Token has Craig...and I have Kenny. He's the one I'd talk to about this kind of thing, but I can't because he's the one that's gone. So it kind of sucks."

Wendy bit her lip. "Well, I may not be Kenny...but you could give me a shot."

"I think I just did." Stan admitted.

"And how do you feel?"

"... A little lighter."

She smiled knowingly. "That's 'cause you shared the burden, Stan. And that's what being together's really about. You have to share your shit, or else you can't totally trust each other, and if you don't do that, you follow your superhero boyfriend to the park, shoot the villain, and get hit by a car."

He'd never really thought about it like that. "I thought Kenny and Vicki were the super couple."

"No one's perfect, Stan."

That was true enough. "...I think that even if Kenny's...even if he doesn't come back, we should build the house for Vicki anyways. He would want that."

Wendy nodded in agreement. "That's really sweet, Stan."

"I'd build a house for you, you know, but then I'd just be copying Kenny, and that would be really lame."

"Going to Columbia with you will be good enough for now."

Stopping in the middle of the side walk, Stan took both Wendy's hands in his. "Wendy, I don't have a ring, or a big fancy ceremony, or any of the stuff that Vicki and Kenny had. But I'm gonna promise you that I'm always gonna love you, for better or worse. You're the only girl I've ever really wanted to be with, and that's never gonna change."

Wendy smiled up at him softly. "I love you too. And I promise that I always will."

If there was one thing that Kenny had kept showing them since he convinced them that he died, it was that life was too short not to take the time to say it. 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' There was too much uncertainty not to say it, because it might all be gone tomorrow.

ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ Remember when we were such fools ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ

"...And so we let him go one last time, into the hands of our Lord forever."

After a month, they had all decided it was time; Kenny wasn't coming back. So Vicki was sitting there in the front row, staring at the casket that held the remains of her fiancé. He was gone. That was all she could think about, that he was gone. Never in her worst nightmares in the seven years they'd been together, had she expected him to be taken from her like this... And by that Goddamn heroin addict brother of his!

Beside her, Kyle was holding her hand tightly, and she let him. He was trying to comfort her, or at least be the one that she could hold on to. If she didn't think too much about it, she could pretend for half a moment that it was Kenny's hand in hers, and someone else—anyone else—in the casket. It could be Cartman again, or Craig, or even Kyle... It was horrible to think, but it was the truth. She would have rather had her best friend dead than her fiancé.

"...I'd now like to call up Vicki to give the Eulogy speech." Father Maxi concluded.

Gettin up, Vicki felt her body move automatically to the front, and she took a moment to stare at the picture of Kenny resting on the casket. It was the last one she'd taken of him—the day he'd finished the plans for the house. She'd been so proud of him, she'd made sure to get a picture of him holding up the plans, grinning like an idiot. Seeing it now broke her heart.

Turning around, she faced them all—the entire town, same as it had supposed to have been for the wedding they'd been planning for three months from now. They were all there, their friends, their families, their acquaintances, and their pseudo enemies. She could even see Eric Cartman's grave just a few meters away! Her entire life for the past seven years was here, watching her world fall apart. Watching her fall apart.

"The past seven years with Kenny, have been some of the most difficult and most incredible years I've known. Because no matter how often Kenny died, and no matter how often I woke up in the hospital because of Eric Cartman, we were together, and we had each other. I loved Kenny more than anything, and I know he was hoping to spend the rest of his life being the best husband and father he could be. And now he doesn't get to do that, because some bastards his brother got in trouble with decided killing him would be a good idea.

"You see, life is not fair, and God is not just. Because Kenny spent his whole life bouncing between Heaven, Hell and Here, and not once did Kenny decide to quit, or not get out of bed, or even just stop living. Kenny had more life in him than any of us, and he made us live when we didn't want to. He made me believe in love when I had lost mine; he made me complete again. He made me so happy...

"I loved Kenny more than anything in the world, and I don't know how I'm supposed to live without him. But I always knew this day would come—when Kenny wouldn't come back—and I accepted that when I gave him my heart and accepted his. He promised me forever once, and now I know that there really is no such thing. There's only now. But I know right now, I can't give up. I just have to let you go, Ken. That's all I can do, until we meet again."

Stepping down, Vicki felt like a light inside her had flickered out. She'd finally accepted wholly that he was gone, and not coming back. Resuming her seat, she let Kyle put his arm around her shoulders as they watched the casket be lowered into the ground. A couple of seats over, Wendy was sobbing into Stan's shoulder, and Butters was crying quietly with Jason, who's arms were wrapped protectively around him. On the other side of the aisle, Carol and Karen were holding each other, as Kevin stared into the air in front of him, ghostly pale except for his red-rimmed eyes.

Father Maxi droned out the last of the funerary rites, and then it was over. They all began to quietly disperse, heading back to the privacy of their homes to either mourn, or wonder why they'd come at all to see Kenny McCormick lowered into the ground. Until the only ones left were her and Kyle.

"I talked to my mom, and she wants you to move in with us for now." He said quietly. "It's not that you couldn't stay with Carol and Karen, but with Kevin there..."

They were afraid she'd murder him like she'd wanted to for weeks. Now she just hated him. "I couldn't do that to your family, Kyle—"

"You're part of my family too, and family look after each other."

"I'm gonna be a shitty houseguest."

"I don't care."

He would when she was locked in her room, staring at the wall and refusing to get out of bed. He would when she woke up screaming in the middle of the night. He would when she still couldn't figure out how to move on with her life. "I'll just apologize ahead of time then."

ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ And so convinced and just too cool ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ

He found Vicki in the guest room—her room—when she didn't come down to dinner. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed and staring at the framed photograph in her hands. Kyle knew which one it was—the one from their promise ceremony—and he knew his mother had probably put it there trying to make her feel better. "Vic..?"

"I should have known better." She said, voice deadened and hollow. "If Matt's death taught me anything, it's that nothing's forever. So why the fuck did I believe..?"

Without warning, she flung the photograph against the wall, and it shattered. "It's not fucking right, Ky! We made it through Cartman trying to rape me, we made it through his parole hearing, we made it through The Coon, we made it through me almost dying... and it was his goddamn brother's dealers that did it. And that was the one time I wasn't there!"

Ignoring the glass on the floor, Kyle knelt down in front of Vicki, and pulled her into his arms. Vicki clung to him, sobbing against his chest. The same things she'd been doing all month. He'd become her anchor and armour—her protector. "it's not your fault, it's not Kevin's fault. It's those goddamn dealers' fault."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do, Ky! I'm so fucking scared I can't do it on my own. I never thought that I would be having the baby without Kenny, and now—"

"Am I enough?"

She pulled away, shocked out of tears. "Kyle—?"

He grabbed both her hands and pulled them up to his heart. "I'm not Kenny—I know you don't love me, and I don't love you quite the same way he did. But I promised Kenny I would take care of you and the baby, and I'm gonna do that as best I can."

"Kyle, if you're gonna ask me what I think you're gonna ask me—"

"Please marry me, Vicki. It might not be like you dreamed, but we can get by."

She looked dismayed that he'd asked. "But what about your dreams? University, a career, real love? You can't just...give it up."

You'd think she didn't understand. None of that mattered more than keeping his promise to Kenny, and making his best friend okay again. Not even the love. "I'd rather spend my life with my best friend."

She shook her head, staring past him and at the photograph lying among the broken glass. "If you say it's what Kenny would have wanted, I will punch your lights out."

"I won't say it then. And I'll wait however long you need to answer me."

Kyle made to stand up, but Vicki grabbed his hand tightly. "I can't do this alone."

That was all the answer he needed. "Do you want to keep the wedding date?" She nodded stiffly. "I'll let them know then."

Vicki said nothing, but let go of his hand. Kyle knew it must have broken her heart to do it, but he'd spend the rest of their life together making her believe she'd made the right choice. She'd probably never really love him, but like he'd said—they'd get by. They'd raise the baby together, and she'd be surrounded by their friends who loved her, and the sex would be good... It would be okay. It would be a life.

ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ Oh no... no, no... ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ

Bebe couldn't believe what she was hearing. "YOU'RE MARRYING VICKI?"

Of all the things her ex-boyfriend could have told her, that he was marrying Vicki was the last one she expected to hear when she'd stopped by to see them. And he'd told it to her with a smile on his face—like he was actually happy! What gave him the fucking right to be happy when Vicki had probably broken her heart by agreeing? What gave him the right to ask?

"I know it's soon," He explained. "But the baby's not waiting, and the wedding's half-planned, and the house is being worked on. And Vicki's not ready for any of it, because all she can really focus on now is that Kenny's gone."

"Okay, I understand that, but marrying her? Kyle, this isn't the fifties—you can live together without getting married."

"The whole town expects it."

The whole town... "The whole town used to expect you and Vicki to get together, and when that went nowhere, they all expected her and Kenny to spend the rest of their lives together. And in case you didn't notice, neither of those things happened. So even if they do expect you to marry Vicki, doesn't mean you actually should. In fact, you really shouldn't."

He didn't say anything, and Bebe knew what he was really thinking. "Oh my God...do you seriously think she's gonna fall in love with you? Because that's just fuckin' delusional, Kyle. She loves Kenny—she will always love Kenny. she might like you, she might share a bed with you, and knowing Vicki if she does both those, she's going to have sex with you. But she's never going to give her heart to you! Because she doesn't—"

"I KNOW!" He shouted. "I know, okay? But I can't just let her... I have to help Vicki somehow. And this is the best way for me to do that; by giving her stability, and a partner to raise the baby with. Kenny got fucked on that front, so I'm gonna pick up the pieces."

"But why should you be the one to do it?"

"Because I'm her best friend."

Like any of them believed that for a minute. "I'm going upstairs to talk to Vicki."

Bebe found her in the guest room, sitting on the bed and staring at the wall. "Hey..."

She didn't even blink. "Hey."

"Kyle told me the big news. Vicki, are you really going to marry him? Do you think Kenny would want—?"

"Who gives a fuck what Kenny would want? KENNY'S DEAD!" She screeched. "And he's not gonna know what the fuck's going on unless someone tells him in Heaven, or Hell, or wherever God decided to trap his soul for eternity. So what he wants doesn't fucking matter anymore, does it? He's gone, and we're still here! ALONE!"

And Kyle was going to make her feel less alone? "Vicki, I know it seems like the right thing to do now, but in five or ten years, are you going to be happy in a loveless marriage? Is Kyle?"

Vicki let out a dry, sarcastic laugh. "You think marriage is forever, Bebe? Nothing ever lasts in this world. Not family, not marriage, not love. We break apart and we die, and it took losing two men I loved to finally accept that. And considering your track record, I don't think you're in a place to judge what Kyle and I do with our lives."

That stung. "I tried to make it work with Token, and Kyle. Even though one didn't want me, and one only wanted me to make sure he was over you. I did my part. But if you marry Kyle, you're just giving up. And I have never seen you give up before. So that scares the shit out of me. It means you're broken, and I wonder whether or not you should even be keeping the baby."

Vicki looked like Bebe had slapped her. "That's the reason I'm doing this."

"Are you sure it isn't because you don't want to be alone?" Bebe countered.

"...Get out."

"You know it's true."

"GET OUT!"

Kyle came running just as Bebe stormed out of the room. "What happened?"

"I told her the truth and she didn't want to hear it." Bebe replied darkly. "And you know what, you two are both in fucking denial, so I think you're fucking perfect for each other. Go ahead and get married and be miserable together, Kyle. But three years from now, I will tell you 'I told you so'. Until then, fuck the both of you."

Bet you never thought Bebe would be the voice of reason. But I really wanted someone to point out to Vicki and Kyle the insanity of what they're doing, and even though Wendy would seem the obvious choice, Bebe's closer to Kyle and Vicki both.