Comforting Arms
Chapter Four
She stood outside his door for what felt like hours. She strained her ears for any hint of noise but nothing came. Just as she was about to give up and head back to her room, the door creaked open.
Luffy's gaze wasn't sleepy, it wasn't bored, or anything else that she would expect at this time of night. His gaze searched her, it even fell on her body not in the way that was lustful but in a way that was studying, as if he was searching for a weakness. His eyes were burning with some unknown emotion when their eyes met. He sighed and relaxed the hold he had on his door to open it more for her to enter.
He still hadn't said a word, and she was beginning to wonder what she could possibly say. It was almost as if he had been waiting up for her and if that was the case then she needed to be the first one to speak. She slid past him and walked to his bed, making herself comfortable she leaned back on her elbows and let her back hit the wall behind the bed and her legs stretched out before her. She patted the bed weakly beside her gesturing to Luffy who still stood beside the door. He frowned for a split second, before sighing again and making his way to his bed. He sat on the edge, wearily and far away from her.
She wasn't sure why that hurt her feelings.
"Do you remember that first night?" he finally said quietly. She knew he wasn't talking about recently; he was talking about the first time they had ever been alone for more than five minutes. She wasn't sleeping then either, but back then it was only an occasional night's sleep that she missed.
It had been a long day, a long fight for them all. Luffy was still partying, everyone else was winding down getting ready for bed. Often times parties like this would last until the next night, but everyone was too worn out from their fight. Although she was just as tired as the rest she wanted to feel the breeze of ocean air, and listen to the crash of waves lapping against the ship.
"Nami!" Luffy called excitedly. "Come here!"
She looked around nervously trying to pawn off Luffy on Usopp or even Zoro but she was the last one on deck. After months of being aboard this ship it was really the first time she had been alone with her Captain. She didn't resist and went to him obediently.
"What Luffy?" she half growled. She wasn't sure why she was so irritable. She just knew she was tired, it was late, and whatever Luffy had in mind it more than likely didn't end with her relaxing or getting any sleep sometime soon.
He didn't say anything just smiled softly and patted the ground next to him. She hesitated for just the slightest of seconds before letting her legs fold beneath her and join him on the wooden floor. They stayed in silence for a few minutes, but Luffy being… well himself… the silence was too much and he began fidgeting.
"You don't have to stay here and sit still with me," she said trying to hide her laughter, even though he had technically invited her.
"I know," he said quietly. He stood up then and offered her a hand. She looked at him questioningly but accepted it. He grinned deviously as his arm wrapped around her waist and he shot up to the crow's nest. She had the decency not to scream too loudly.
"Luffy," she hissed. She was about to scold him and beat the living tar out of him when she noticed something. Being this much closer to the sky made it seem like she could reach up and touch the stars, the sea stretched out forever, and the dark waves and sky seemed to be hugging in the most elegant way. The moment was too beautiful to destroy with violence, even if he did deserve it.
"You always go on about Belli," he said after a moment. "And jewels and tangerines," he added chuckling. She nodded not quite sure where he was going with this and feeling very uneasy. She wasn't sure what to expect. The air was tranquil with the crisp breeze and the night was calm. She was never sure of what to expect when it came to her new Captain and friend. Only the night couldn't be calm with the bundle of energy that was right next to her. He wasn't unbearably close, maybe a few feet, enough to give her space from him but still enjoy the moment together.
"You don't have to pretend anymore," he said quietly. It felt so odd, having Luffy be almost calm like. She would have believed his fake calmness if he hadn't been tapping his foot restlessly.
"I'm not-" she cut herself off sighing. There was no use in explaining to him that to keep up with the rest of the crew she sort of had to pretend. Pretending kept her strong. Arguing with Luffy about why it was easier that way would get her nowhere either. She stared hard at the stars then with a wicked grin she looked up at him.
"What do you see when you see the stars?"
"I see something that I am going to surpass someday," he said easily. There wasn't a moment of hesitation, a moment of doubt. He answered so easily and so surely it left a bitter taste in her mouth. He knew without a shadow of doubt he could become so famous he would surpass the stars. He knew it. It wasn't like he dreamed of it or thought of it occasionally he knew it with every fiber of his being.
"I see jewels that I am going to steal," she said with a grin.
"Of course you do. You're a thief."
After that they both just stayed up and looked at the stars. Well Nami did, Luffy passed out after a few minutes claiming he was bored. Not that she minded. She didn't mind spending a little time with her Captain even if he was asleep.
"Of course I remember," she told him. It wasn't like she could forget her first night of freedom, her first night on the ship, her first night without Arlong. She would never be able to forget that.
He nodded and an awkward silence seemed to fill the air and settle between them. He stared at his hands which where clutched in his lap, before he reached up and took his hat off, placed it in his lap and stared at it instead. A small smile caught his lips as he figured the patch job she had done for him.
"We're always like that," he said quietly. Luffy being insightful and this quiet was enough to make her worry.
"Always like what?" she asked sitting up so she could put her hand to his forehead. He was a little warm but nothing more than normal.
He caught her hand and stared deeply into her eyes.
"Fixing each other. Sometimes without even realizing it," he said before dropping her hand and smiling at her sheepishly. "I asked Zoro to get you the other day and you never showed…"
"I thought that was just Zoro messing with me," she muttered darkly trying to ease her serious captain. "You never ask for private talks. Ever," she added quietly.
"I …" he paused for a moment, chewing on his lip. She could almost see the steam rising out of his ears as he chewed over his words very carefully. "I'm not good at this," he said sheepishly chuckling.
She wasn't sure what he was implying so she kept her silence, silently egging him on with a soft smile.
"The thing is, Nami. I am your Captain," he said firmly. His nerves showed more so as a fine layer of sweat glistened off his body. He scratched his head nervously, it wasn't often Luffy reminded others that he was in charge, or that he was serious. She knew he hated doing it, but it didn't feel like he was playing the Captain card, it felt like he was trying to make a point about something else.
"I know?" she said feeling confused.
"I don't want to talk as Captain and Navigator. I want to talk as friends… like we used to," he said quietly. A flood of old memories came surging at his words. All the nights she had secretly snuck into his room or met him on the deck, all the nights of talking, and laughing, they all seemed much further away than 2 years. It seemed like a life time ago when they had done that. But that was then and this was now. Things were different now.
"We still talk as friends," she said feeling her lips tighten in a fake smile.
"No, Nami. It isn't as friends. You treat me differently than the rest of the crew. You think I can't tell? You talk to Zoro, Robin, Chopper, and even Usopp, yet you won't even talk to me and yet you come into my room at night."
She was at a loss for words. Luffy's voice had gradually risen during his little rant and his fists were shaking violently at his sides, his hat clenched tightly in one hand. Since when did her simple Captain look into things so deeply? His speech seemed to remind her of Vivi, of the time he called her out. Luffy wasn't as cut and dry as she made him out to be. Of course he would notice this type of thing. The other night when he had been asleep and asked her not to leave, he was really worried about her and it was showing.
"I feel like I'm losing you… not as a navigator but as a friend. Why Nami?" he pressed when she still hadn't answered him.
She shivered.
"I don't know," she mumbled weakly.
"You don't know?" he scoffed. He set his hat down on the nightstand beside his bed as he gently took her hands in his. "Nami… please? I'm so worried about you."
His voice was so soft, almost broken sounding, that tears stung her eyes. She had promised she would support him. Two years apart made her promise she would make things easier for him and yet here she was making him like this. Tears started falling quickly and unbidden down her face.
He didn't say a word after that. He just silently scooped her into his arms and let her bury her face into his chest. She could have stayed like that all night, crying and being wrapped up firmly in his arms. To credit Luffy he had matured greatly and didn't once fidget, just held her. After a while she hiccupped and looked up at him.
"I'm sorry Luffy. I just –" she pushed herself out of his arms. Immediately she felt colder but she resisted the urge to fall back into his inviting grip.
"You just…?" he questioned his eyes still burning with worry.
"It's stupid really," she hiccupped again. "I'm happy that the crew is together, happy to be back with everyone but I just feel like something is missing. And when I sleep in your bed with you near it doesn't feel like it is missing anymore," she whispered. She was well aware of how unbelievably corny that sounded and braced herself for Luffy's harsh innocent laughter. It never came. She chanced a look up at him.
He blinked, tilted his head, and let out a noise that he only makes when he is thoroughly confused by something.
"So just sleep with me at night," he said simply.
She nodded. After a while they chatted about a few idle things, catching up on things that had happened during their two years of separation. It felt like a small weight had been lifted off of her chest as he finally yawned and suggested they get to bed. As Luffy threw the blanket over them she couldn't help but let her mind start to wander.
That was it? Luffy loves everyone in the crew so much he would cuddle Brook and Franky every night if it meant their well-being, she told herself. He was constantly trying to cuddle with Chopper enough as it was. It wasn't a big deal. She wasn't getting special treatment. As much as she told herself that it didn't stop the pounding of her heart as his arms wrapped around her as he sleepily and happily told her goodnight. Even with Luffy next to her (holding her) it still took a while for her to drift off to sleep.
A/N: You guys rock! Not sure how long this story is going to be but it shouldn't be too much longer. I actually had this chapter already written as the last chapter and then scrapped it to make a better ending (in my opinion). Anyways~ I love all the reviews (and it even made me update earlier). Thank you guys so much.