Chapter 4: pay attention

Allen had tried his hardest to not look at Kanda when he had entered the class room. He couldn't think of anytime before that he had ever done so, and didn't want to make things look different. He was utterly shocked when he succumbed to his inner wishes and glanced up to find his teacher staring at him! He could have sworn the teacher had a lot more control than that! The Asian man turned away sharply, but Allen kept staring, it was his turn to be at fault.

Kanda was writing essay points on the board; preparing them for their exams, he always started the lesson like this; no greeting, no "get out your books" he just began writing, and if you didn't go with him, you fell behind. You didn't want to fall behind in this class; there was no sympathy, no body was gonna pick you up. Allen finally tore his eyes away from the confused man, and began hurriedly scribbling the notes down. Lavi was already working away beside him, the red head was smart, and he didn't always pay attention – he didn't always need to- but when it came to exam help, he was always glad to take pointers from the teachers, it was his indirect way of cheating. He had often told Allen that in all these notes teachers would be dropping hints, letting slip important details that a student would want to know. Details that would come in handy. For most teachers, Allen would have agreed; but for Kanda? That just didn't seem to fit the guy's character. The Japanese man was constantly testing his students, to see how well they could do without his help, under pressure how much of their raw understanding could show through. In a sense it was good, but in another; it was bloody annoying. Some seemed to think he found some kind of sick enjoyment from failing students.

The white haired student was quite anxious to get home. He hadn't had a chance to talk to his English teacher yet; they hadn't fully discussed what was going on. The previous night had been so hectic and awkward there was no point in trying, and then Kanda had left with out leaving a shadow. Obviously what they were doing was horribly illegal, since Allen was still under Marian Cross' care. Not to mention the kiss, Allen blushed as he thought back to that. He couldn't deny that it felt good. So warm, welcoming. And he couldn't deny that he'd do it again, that he wanted to. (A/N this does happen, one of the first heavy crushes I developed slapped me in the face when I hugged the person. I then desperately had to hug them again.)

He never thought he'd fall in love with another man, an older man, an older man that just happened to be his teacher. It was odd, unexpected. Exciting.

"Walker!"

He snapped out of his dreamy reverie hearing his name called by the object of his thoughts. He hadn't realised he'd been gazing out the window and he turned to find the class looking at him with amused faces. Kanda didn't look too entertained though.

"My class not interesting hmm?" he asked, glaring pointedly.

Allen looked at him with wide eyes, he was obviously expecting an answer; "uh no sir! I mean- it's not, not interesting."

"Tch. I would like to think that you would be writing poetry about the city, which seemed so alluring moments ago. But since we are currently on the topic of drama perhaps not."

"Ah I wasn't-"

"And I don't care," Kanda cut him off; "stop day dreaming and start paying attention. You can't pass an exam by just looking at the paper."

Allen looked hurriedly back down to his notes page as the teacher turned back to the board. Eventually the other students also stopped staring and began to take notes again. He hadn't meant to day dream, and Kanda didn't have to be such a bitch about. Allen wasn't even sure if he treated other students like that. Sure he had heard the stories that the Japanese male had successfully made students cry but at least those situations were for valid reasons, or circumstances that weren't entirely his fault. But day dreaming? Come on! Glancing up, though, Allen noticed that no one else seemed to find anything wrong with what had occurred, and looking to his left he saw that even Lavi was rapidly writing notes down. Allen was quick to do the same. He and Kanda really needed to talk.

When English finished Allen hurried quickly from the room to his next class, not wanting to hang around. He couldn't help but feel that he was acting like a girl. It was almost embarrassing, but in the end; he couldn't face Kanda when he was at school. Did that even make sense? It was like the man was two different people, the stoic dickhead at work, and the stoic... understanding? Something else. Allen wasn't sure what it was yet but he was sure it was better than what he had been experience at school. The kiss had something more behind it. He knew it did; it had to.

Allen walked back 'home' after school, to Kanda's house, having virtually remembered the way; it wasn't too hard. He wondered what time Kanda would be getting back, he knew most of the teachers finished later than the students; towards 4 or 4:30 but he just wasn't sure. He had a book that he really wanted to read as well; that would help to pass the time til the Asian got back. He found himself actually getting quite excited, and not about the book either. He found a bounce in his step as he hurried his way home. He'd thought that word through a couple times now; home. Thinking of Kanda's home as his home, made him feel warm inside, it sent curls of smoke up through his chest, becoming a compact cloud it the top of his throat. It felt as though he was going to be sick, but the butterflies in his stomach told him otherwise. It was an overwhelming idea to have this place as his home, and he found himself hoping that Timcanpy was enjoying it as much as he had.

The shock hit him full force. He hadn't seen Tim that morning; his cat hadn't been on the couch sleeping with Allen. What if he had run away? What next? Where would Allen look? The happiness bubble had popped and he found himself breaking into a run as he became more and more panicked about the presence of his cat. Pounding down the foot path he finally arrived at his teacher's residence, leaping up the stairs, he began calling for the tabby cat.

"Tim! Timcanpy!" he yelled, now at the front door, "Timcanpy are you here?"

He knew that cat's can't talk; he's not stupid. But in his current frame of mind he didn't know what to do. And now rose a new dilemma; he didn't have a key. He grabbed the door with both hands, looking stricken, before placing his ear rough against the wood. He could hear no noise coming from inside, no meowing. He knocked loudly a couple of times and when he still heard no cat like noises he grabbed on the stairs' barricade and pulled himself onto the ledge. Gripping the brick wall he took a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily before gripping the bricks as tightly as he could, edged his way onto the balcony. He slipped as he jumped down but caught himself with no more than a stinging grazed hand. The balcony door was made of glass and he peered through it into the apartment like house. He saw no sign of a bushy white tail, no golden fur, and tapping on the glass door showed no progress. He climbed back onto the cement stairs and ran back down.

The flat mate downstairs, which was a cranky looking old man had come out to see what all the commotion was about and glared at Allen as he jogged back out of the compound.

There was only one other place that Allen could think of to look, and if Tim wasn't there then he really was screwed. He could only vaguely recall the directions to his guardian's house, and he knew it was a long walk. It would be even yet a lot longer, but he had to find his cat, Tim was really important to him, giving him light through the dark times.

Finally the day was over. Kanda leant back into his desk chair with a soft sigh. He just had a few things to clear up and then he could head home. He knew the beansprout would be waiting for him; they had a lot to talk about. And Kanda really wanted to set some ground rules. Talk about graduation and remaining inconspicuous. Perhaps he had been a little cruel in class today. But the Japanese man found that the only way he could stop feeling these feelings was to get angry. Anger was a powerful emotion and he found it could mask his interest in his student, if only temporary.

Not to mention that stupid, goofy, cute day dream look he had. Kanda wanted to know what he had been thinking about, and wanted to get jealous of that object. God forbid were it a person, they would have hell to pay.

It only occurred to him when he reached the car, but the keys in (no central locking for this bomb) that Allen will have walked home, with no key. Kanda didn't keep a spare key, never having the possibility of losing the original. What was he, stupid? He had the sudden image of a lonely and dejected looking Bean sitting outside his door, waiting to be let in; looking something close to a miserable cat. Why was it raining?

He looked to the sky; not a cloud in sight. Well at least he didn't have to worry about the kid getting pneumonia. He climbed into the black car and drove off, admittedly a little quicker than usual. But when he arrived at his place he was so pissed; he was calm.

That annoying old man that lived down stairs decided to come out and give him a nice warm welcome that went something like; "some young'un tried to break into y'ur 'ouse lad. But when I goes up there to check. Nothin'. So I don't call no cops."

Kanda scowled as he strode towards the old man; "what did he look like?"

"Was a boy," the man seemed to be thinking really hard. At least Kanda got the gender; that pretty much solved the sleuth anyway. Who else would try to break into his empty apartment other than the only other person that lived there? "an' 'e 'ad umm a school uniform on yes-"

Kanda rolled his eyes and walked away; why had he even bothered, he looked to the top of the stairs to see a discarded school bag. It was that easy. Allen had been here, he had tried to get in, he had left. How idiotic could a teenager get?! Kanda was furious; was this kid hormonal or what? Kanda wouldn't have taken that long at work, he would only have to wait around an hour tops! And Kanda being the lazy arse hater of schools that he was wasn't likely to breach the half hour mark, had he honestly thought Kanda had ditched or something? And where the heck are you supposed to find a teenager in this place?!

Turning back to the car he figured he'd check the school first, you just never know. As he got in he heard the old man call out excitedly.

"White hair! 'e 'ad white hair see!"

Kanda just ignored him, slamming the car door unnecessarily loud and driving off, leaving dark tire marks behind him.

He drove back to his work place, even got out to have a scout around. He didn't spend more that ten minutes there though, figuring it to be a pointless use of time and he was quick to return to his car. Why was he so worried? The student would be graduating soon enough; he should be able to take care of himself. Kanda really didn't want to admit he had a soft spot, though it was painfully obvious.

Searching the streets seemed to make time pass a lot faster than the school day, or perhaps it was the fast setting sun. But as the sky turned orange Kanda braked hard, he wouldn't. Would he? He though and thought hard about all the possible reasons as to why Allen would return to his old home. He settled for the most realistic; he was just an idiot, and turned his car around, driving a lot faster now.

Street lights were being turned on by the time he arrived at the place that brought this whole mess upon him just the previous night. Turning the car off in the driveway he had a brief look whilst still seated in the car. After seeing no signs of movement he stepped into the purple glow of twilight. The street was noiseless except for the motorway that could be heard in the distance, and his footsteps crunched on the gravel drive as he walked onto the porch. He tried the door, only for it to be locked. It was only a small house so he took a quick look around the back. His heart skipped a beat when he saw a flash of white, but felt his eye twitch when he realised it was only the bushy white tail of a tabby cat. He turned to leave and continue the search when he stopped suddenly; the cat.

He looked back at the glowing golden eyes gleaming at him innocently. If the foolish teenager had runaway surely this would count as an almost valid reason, valid in the albino's books anyway. So the kid would have been on his way over here now, picking the cat up, surprised to find that it let him, he suddenly remembered seeing it outside that morning. Perhaps it had tried to follow the sprout on his way to school.

The cat obviously wasn't overly comfortable in his arms as it was growling, barely putting up with his presence. He felt like yelling at it, telling it that if it wanted to be fed it had better shut up. Instead he settled for throwing the fat thing onto the back seat of his car. He started the engine and followed the road he had taken home the night before.

It was really dark now and Kanda had to put his head lights on. He couldn't stop the worry from creeping up like vomit into his throat. But he honestly didn't know what to do. He didn't know what was going on through the kid's head, didn't know how quickly he would have given up and just walked home. Just as Kanda was getting ready to just head home he caught a flash of white in the head lights.

That was definitely him, the Beansprout. He was walking with his shoulders slumped and his head whirling around; he was definitely, undoubtedly very lost. And pulling the car over to the side of the road, Kanda was definitely undoubtedly very pissed. He leaned over threw open the passenger side door.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he yelled out, catching the boy's attention.

Allen looked shocked at the sudden voice yelling at him and he ran to the open door; "Kanda!"

"Yes it's me you idiot! Now get in the fucking car." The white haired boy hurriedly did as he was asked and turned to face the driver as soon as the door was closed.

"Kanda! We have to turn around," Kanda just glared at him, "it's Tim! He's run away, I think he may have gone to my guardian's house. Please! We have to get-"

Kanda just reached into the back and, causing a loud screech, pulled the tabby cat into the front by the scruff of his neck.

"You mean this fat thing." He asked, dumping the animal onto Allen's lap.

"Tim!" Allen hugged the animal tightly, then looking back at his teacher; "where did you find him how-"

"Shut up! Fuck you're so annoying." Allen looked seriously taken aback, Kanda was furious and it was written all over his face, "I have been driving all over these god forsaken streets looking for you. And you've been wondering around for hours looking for one god damn cat?! What is wrong with you?!" he yelled.

Allen swelled indignantly; "well I didn't ask you to come looking for me! You could have just left me wondering around!"

"What the fuck? Why would I do that?"

"I dunno cause you don't fucking care!"

"Fuck it." Kanda muttered darkly and he started to drive.

"No! No you don't fuck it! You don't understand! You don't know anything! Jesus! What's wrong with you! Listen to me will you!?"

"No!" Kanda turned angrily to him quickly before focusing on the road, sending occasional glares as he spoke; "no you listen to me got it? You don't just go running around aimlessly when you don't even know where you are! Just fucking wait for me and I'll fucking drive you got it?!"

Allen remained silent at that, but didn't lessen his glare. After glancing angrily at him one more time the Asian man turned sharply to the right, making Allen grip his cat hurriedly, into a well lit area.

"Where are we going?" Allen asked nervously, peering out the window now, though he was still angry, just a little shocked at the change of scenery.

"Dinner." Was the curt reply, as the car pulled up into a drive thru at a fast food restaurant. Allen's stomach growled anxiously, glad to have the mention of food. But now Allen was a little concerned; when were they going to talk? Kanda seemed so eager to just won every argument, he didn't understand that Tim had been Allen's only friend, that he had wondered the streets alone for entire nights before. Kanda didn't understand that Allen didn't know what it was like to be cared for.

A/N I told you we was gonna have some angst. Was that angsty enough for you? I know it wasn't overly longer than the other chapter but it's still longer so I hope that satisfies your minds ^_^ ermmm things should be moving along a lot quicker now. Can you tell I don't like old men? No offence...

Anyway please review XD