Chapter Three: "Then you run out of oxygen and die!"
Nobody's POV
It was a bright, beautiful morning in the Congo. Birds were singing, cows were mooing, and lions were viciously mauling people. In one small village there sat a tiny hut house, in which lived the family Price. On this lovely morning, the girls of the house were just beginning to rise.
Adah's POV
I woke up and left the bedroom. As I entered the kitchen, I noticed Mother was already up and was staring out the window.
"What's for breakfast?" I asked her.
Orleanna's POV
I woke up particularly early today and, with nothing better to do, I went to stare out the kitchen window. Suddenly Adah entered the room. She asked me what was for breakfast.
"Fruit," I answered her.
Adah's POV
Mother told me we would have fruit for breakfast. I nodded and ate.
Orleanna's POV
Adah nodded and ate, so I ate as well.
Rachel's POV
I woke up from the smell of deliciously rotting fruit. I walked into the kitchen and saw my sister the Retard and my mother eating said fruit. I joined in eating said fruit.
Orleanna's POV
Adah, Rachel, and I ate fruit together happily. Ruth May and Nathan walked in next. Leah was following behind, completely naked.
"Why are you naked?" I asked.
Leah's POV
I walked in the house behind Father and Ruth May, naked and ready for breakfast. I heard Mother ask why I was without clothing. Shrugging, I answered:
"My clothes magically transferred from my body to Father's mouth."
Nathan's POV
I would have made a comment at this point, but Leah's bra was obstructing my windpipe.
Ruth May's POV
I walked into the kitchen with Daddy, and I noticed he was strangely quiet. Momma, Rachel, and stupid Adah were already in the kitchen, eating. When Momma asked Leah why she was naked, I was shocked cuz I didn't realized she was behind us. Then I was really jealous because I want Daddy to pay more attention to me.
"Daddy, how comes you didn't eat my clothes off?"
Nathan's POV
I opened my mouth to respond, but all that came out were Leah's panties. This was disappointing, because I had planned on savoring those for a long while, but now that they've been on the floor it's just gross . . .
Rachel's POV
I watched as panties fell from Father's mouth. I was sad because those used to be mine. When I heard Ruth May speak about them not being hers I got angry, and stormed out with my handy dandy flashlight.
Leopold's POV
Why hasn't that sexy man written me back?!
Kurtz's POV
Orleanna . . . Mmm . . .
Nobody's POV
And suddenly the world shifted to script format!
Nathan: Little kids . . . Yummy!
Orleanna: Shut up, ass!
Adah: Daddy, do you love me?
Nathan: No.
Leah: How about me?
Nathan: I like your body
Ruth May: You love me, right?
Nathan: Yes, my little angel.
Ruth May: I love you too . . . Can we play now?
Nathan: Yes.\
*Nathan and Ruth May leave to play*
*Rachel returns from carrot time*
Adah: . . . I hardly talked in the real book!
Orleanna: *facepalm*
Rachel: *sweatdrop*
Leah: *headdesk*
(With Nathan and Ruth May)
Nathan: *love makes*
Ruth May: *plays*
Random Villager 1: *watches*
Random Villager 2: *masturbates*
(With Kurtz and Leopold)
Kurtz: . . .
Leopold: . . .
Kurtz . . . . . . . . . So . . . Wanna make out?
Leopold: Meh . . .
Kurtz: . . . I'll be in the basement . . .
Leopold: Doing what?
Kurtz: What do you think?!
Leopold: . . . Is it legal to do this?
Kurtz: . . . . . .
*Kurtz goes to basement and finds a Jewish party in progress*
Random Jewish Guy 1: *dances*
Random Jewish Guy 2: *also dances*
Kurtz: The Horah! The Horah!
*Caroline appears out of nowhere*
Caroline: You called? *seductive voice*
Random Jewish Guys: *cheer* *wolf-whistle*
Kurtz: I said Hor-ah!
Random Jewish Girls: We didn't call for a whore!
Caroline: Damn . . . *disappears*
Random Jewish Guys: We'll have fun with you now! *attack Kurtz*
(Back with Leopold)
*Leopold begins to walk to the post office*
Leopold: *sings "Walking On Sunshine"*
Random Villager Kid: You suck! *throws ants*
Leopold: *eats kid's head off* Mhere . . .
Leopold: *stops at a stop sign* *sees backpack on sidewalk* *kicks backpack*
*baby rolls out of backpack and begins to cry*
Leopold: *squishes baby*
Baby's Mom: You bastard! You killed Kenny!
Leopold: *rapes woman* There, now you'll have another baby in nine months.
(Back at the kitchen)
Leah: Mom, can I go play with Father?
Orleanna: No.
Rachel: No.
Adah: Go screw yourself.
Leah: Okay. Rachel? May I borrow your carrot?
Rachel: *thinks* It's pretty big . . . I bet we both could use it at once.
Leah: Okay.
Adah: Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy night!
Orleanna: You girls have fun!
Adah: If we grab a few more carrots, we could make this a three-way . . .
Rachel: Good idea!
Leah: Mmm hmm! *nodnod*
Adah: *grabs carrots*
*Leah, Adah, and Rachel exit*
Orleanna: *laughs* Those darn kids!
(With Leopold)
*Leopold arrives at the post office*
Leopold: Has my response arrived?
Postman: No.
Leopold: Dammit! My dearest Nathan, why must you make an old man suffer?!