Party Poison
A/N: Man I'm not even gonna lie this is late because I binge watched Death Note and Grey's Anatomy.
Also, fair warning that this chapter is going to be pretty angsty. There's a lot of personal negative feelings that went into making this chapter and I'm overdramatic as fuck, so expect a lot of Kurt making something out of nothing I guess. This chapter is pretty long as well and I'm not sure if I should say you're welcome or I'm sorry. I guess that's up for you guys to decide.
Kurt and Blaine had a pretty nice night after that. Kurt got his reward, Blaine was satisfied with the progress Kurt made, and they both slept happily ever after. However, the next morning brought a battle that neither were prepared for.
"Kurt, we've been going at this for almost half an hour now. I'm losing my patience. You need to get out of bed. You have to try, honey. Please don't make me drag you out of bed," Blaine said with his arms crossed.
"No! Fuck you! I'm not doing this. You won't make me and I won't fucking do it! Leave me alone Blaine. Go to work or whatever the fuck, I don't care. Just go away!" Kurt shot back angrily.
It took a lot of self control not to get angry at Kurt's harsh words. He was a massive dick when he was scared. "I'm not leaving without you, Kurt. You are doing this. Get out of bed now."
"No."
Blaine rolled his eyes, growing frustrated with Kurt's defiance. He'd already tried the sweet and gentle approach, but naturally Kurt took advantage of that. He pulled back the covers and grabbed ahold of Kurt's ankles and pulled him out of bed.
Kurt let out an angry, "BLAINE!" as he was pulled out of bed. Blaine however seemed unfazed by Kurt's outburst as he expected them now. Kurt most definitely did not like being forced to do things, especially get his face fixed.
"Blaine let me go!" Kurt shouted again. "This is illegal. You can't make me do this against my will. You'll lose your license and you'll never be allowed to practice again. I'll call the cops!" he threatened uselessly.
"Oh Kurt, I might take your threat seriously if you could speak the name of my profession out loud," Blaine said calmly.
That seemed to get Kurt fired up more as he kicked his feet out angrily. "You're a dick! I'm never letting you anywhere near my face you asshole!"
Blaine again had to hold back what he actually wanted to say for Kurt's sake. Argument wouldn't get them anywhere. "Kurt, I understand that you're deeply afraid of what we're going to do today, but I assure you there's no reason to be. I'll get you super high and you'll sleep through it. What's the big deal?" Blaine tried to reason with Kurt, letting go of his legs so Kurt didn't kick him in the face.
"Because you wanna stick me with needles and drill holes in my teeth with tiny drills and it's not okay Blaine! That sounds insane! How would any sane person be okay with that?"
"Kurt honey, what sounds insane is letting yourself die because you're afraid of the dentist. You're at risk of infection, and that can literally kill you. Is this really worth dying over? I get it, you're scared and that's fine, but I'm offering you a fear-free experience. It will be painless and you'll probably fall asleep. Where is the sense in all this fight I'm getting from you? I'm trying to help you Kurt."
Kurt eased back into the bed he was currently refusing to get out of and stopped trying to kick Blaine. He sighed a frustrated sigh before speaking. "You don't get it Blaine. That's what it means to have a fucking phobia. That means I'm really afraid, so afraid that sometimes it seems like dying might actually be easier. I'm not saying that lightly, I mean that. It isn't logical and it doesn't make sense, but it feels real. Can you imagine being held over the side of a really tall building, okay? Imagine that. The person who's dangling you over the building says they're going to drop you if you make any kind of sound. Your heart is pounding in your chest and you're absolutely terrified. Right? Because that's what happens when someone holds you over a building. That's what it feels like when I have to sit in that chair and take whatever you're dishing. It's terrifying! You can't get it, I can't make you understand, Blaine; but it's fucking terrifying. Give me a damn break okay, I'm scared!" Kurt ranted, sitting back up again.
Blaine ran a hand through his hair. "Kurt, I don't understand it, you're right. I'm sympathetic of your phobia, and I'm trying to give you a break; I've given you every break I can. I'm sorry that you feel this way and I assure you that I'll make the experience as fear-free as I possibly can. I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but please consider that. You can use every simile that comes to your mind, and shower me in beautiful metaphors that describe how scared you are, but that won't change what needs to happen. You have to get your tooth fixed, your fear of the dentist doesn't change that."
"Please stop saying the word," Kurt muttered, his frustration melting into defeat. He wasn't going to win this argument.
"It's just a word Kurt, it can't hurt you. You're only making yourself more afraid by refusing to speak it. It's just a simple word. A combination of sounds that represent my profession. It isn't a bad word, and you shouldn't pretend that it is. Your boyfriend is a dentist. In fact, your boyfriend is a loving dentist that's really sweet and just wants to fix your tooth so it doesn't hurt anymore."
Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's self proclaimed tenderness (A/N: this word makes me think of chicken tenders). "I'll admit that you have good intentions, but I'm still really fucking scared. I can't do this," he said weakly.
"Kurt, as soon as we get to my office you won't have to worry about that anymore. Nitrous is a magical creation that makes your fear go bye bye."
"I don't believe that," Kurt mumbled.
"Okay, then don't, but I need you to get out of bed now. I'm serious. I'm gonna go start getting ready, and if you aren't out of bed in the next 2 minutes I'm dragging you out of bed," Blaine said, giving Kurt a warning glare so he knew he was serious. Then he went into the bathroom to carry out his morning routine.
Kurt let out an angry huff as he got out of bed because he didn't have another choice. He went into the kitchen and noticed Blaine didn't make him coffee too. That was rude. Then he remembered he wasn't able to drink it anyway and got more annoyed. He went back into their bedroom and threw on some clothes. It was a pair of dark blue joggers with a black V-neck, and just some black and white high top converses to top it off. He was annoyed with how boring his outfit was, but he didn't feel up to dressing fancier.
Then Blaine walked out of the bathroom and looked pleased with Kurt's progress. "Oh Kurt, what a pleasant surprise to see you out of bed."
"Oh, bite me smart-ass. I've already planned out 5 different ways to kill you. Let's not make it 6."
"That's kinky Kurt, but if you're down I'm down," Blaine commented. "I mean the bitting thing, not the murder thing. Murder is illegal and not all that sexy if you ask me."
"Okay, now it's 6," Kurt yelled, shutting the bathroom door behind him.
Blaine waited patiently for Kurt to finish getting ready, but he was taking his sweet time getting out of the bathroom, and Blaine was getting impatient.
"Kurt, we need to go soon. Are you almost ready?"
"Noooo," Kurt said slowly.
"Kurt, what are you doing?" Blaine sighed.
"I don't wanna," he whined.
"Kurt, don't start this," he said, walking towards the bathroom door. He tried to open it, but Kurt locked the door. Blaine let out an angry huff. "Kurt, unlock the door right this second."
"No. I'm not coming out."
"Kurt baby, you have to. Come on, please honey. You need this done," Blaine tried.
"No Blaine. I don't wanna. It's gonna hurt," Kurt whined.
"It will not, Kurt. I'm going to numb you so you don't feel it. It will turn off the pain receptors in the area I'm working on."
"Then the needle will hurt. Needles always hurt."
"Not necessarily. I have topical numbing gel that will numb the area where I'm going to give you the injection. You hardly feel it." While Blaine was talking he was also picking the lock. Then he was able to open the door. Kurt's face blanched at the realization.
"Blaine, no please. I don't wanna do this!" Kurt cried. He was starting to tremble and shake his head frantically. "No, no, no, no, no! Blaine don't make me! It's gonna hurt!"
"Kurt, no it won't. I promise it won't. Don't work yourself up like this," Blaine soothed, wrapping Kurt into a hug.
Kurt fought against it. "Don't touch me! Don't put me through all of this and then pretend you care. You don't. If you cared you wouldn't make me do this," he yelled, crying angry tears and crossing his arms.
Blaine was so tired of arguing, and it was beyond exhausting having the same one over and over again. He understood Kurt was pretty much terrified, but this had to be done. So he gently be debunked all of Kurt's arguments and reassured him that everything was going to be okay. He had no idea how much time it actually took to get Kurt in the car, but after enough convincing he did. Though, it all seemed to melt away on the car ride to his office. It was a Saturday so he didn't have any other patients, but he did call in his favorite assistant. He was hoping she'd be able to help him out with Kurt. She was always the best with kids and phobic patients.
"Okay Kurt, I know you don't like the idea of trusting me with your mouth, more less anyone else, but I called someone in to help. She's a sweetheart and I promise you'll like her. Her name is Ashlyn and she's going to help hand me the stuff I need, she'll basically be my second set of hands," Blaine explained as they pulled up.
Kurt didn't say anything, just nodded his head a little; which told Blaine he wasn't doing so well.
Kurt could feel his heart beating violently in his chest and he felt extremely weak and dizzy from the anxiety pumping through his body. It was eating him alive right now. He was also trembling terribly and he felt like he was going to throw up. The anxiety was so overwhelming he couldn't think about anything but how absolutely terrified he felt in that moment. It was one of the most terrible feelings and he didn't think he'd ever felt this scared before.
Blaine parked the car and looked to Kurt sympathetically. He got out and walked over to the passenger side and helped Kurt out of the car.
"Blaine, I feel like I'm going to pass out," Kurt said weakly.
"The anxiety is just making you weak, baby. You aren't going to faint. Let's just get you inside so you can sit down and I can start you on the nitrous. That will make you feel better," Blaine explained, holding onto Kurt as he walked incase he did actually faint. Then he saw Ashlyn get out of her car and he smiled at her. "Hi Ashlyn, thank you so much for coming in to assist me. I know it's the weekend, it means so much that you did this. This is my boyfriend Kurt. He's a little bit nervous but it's nothing we can't help with, right?"
"Absolutely. It's no problem at all, Blaine. I love to help. It's nice to meet you Kurt. I know you probably aren't that happy to see me, but this will go by faster than you think." Ashlyn said with a kind smile. She was a short girl with shoulder length brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail and purple scrubs. She seemed pretty young, she couldn't have been any older than 25. She had a beautiful smile as well, but that was pretty much a given considering her line of work.
"It's nice to meet you too Ashlyn. Though, I wish it wasn't under these circumstances," Kurt tried to say politely. He was trying to be nice, but he also felt like he was going to vomit or kill Blaine, he hadn't decided yet. Either way, it was pretty safe to say his mind was a little preoccupied.
Ashlyn smiled sympathetically. "Awe, I understand. I got a filling replaced last year and I was a mess. It turned out perfectly fine though. Blaine is amazing at what he does."
Kurt chatted with her while Blaine unlocked the doors to the office and flipped on the lights.
"You've had fillings?" Kurt asked curiously.
Ashlyn laughed at the question. "Of course, being a dental assistant doesn't make me immune. Everyone had problems when they were younger. I only know a few people who've never had a cavity."
Kurt nodded at the information. "Interesting. Blaine, have you ever had a cavity?"
Blaine thought for a second. "Well, no. My parents were really good about regular visits to the dentist when I was little and I had really good hygiene habits, but in dental school I had Nick take out my upper wisdom teeth."
Kurt frowned. "You asshole. How can you never have had a cavity? That's not fair. Besides, what happened to your other wisdom teeth? Did you just magic them out or something?"
"Uhhh, last time I checked they're locked down in my jawbone and hopefully they'll stay there." Blaine gently pushed Kurt inside, happy that the talking was keeping him from panicking at the moment. "What about you Kurt? Where are your wisdom teeth? I didn't see them on the X-rays. Have you had them out?"
"No, I haven't. Where'd they go?"
"I guess that means you don't have them. Hm, lucky you. That means your body is more evolved than mine because it got rid of useless teeth you don't need," Blaine babbled. He walked Kurt back towards the room, and he felt Kurt tense up and start walking a little slower. "It's okay Kurt, don't freak out. Like I said, I just want you to come back here with me and sit down so I can start you on some happy gas, sound good?" Blaine spoke as he gently pushed Kurt towards the treatment room.
Kurt was less willing when he caught sight of the treatment room and looked around. He didn't like this at all. Being in here was making him feel sick. He clung to Blaine's arm and refused to let go or move, refusing to go into the room. "Blaine wait, I need a minute. I'm not ready yet. I can't go in there."
"Kurt, baby. It's just a room. We aren't doing anything yet. I'm just going to have you laid down a tiny bit and start you on the gas. It'll help you feel better," Blaine coaxed.
"I don't care Blaine, just give me a minute to gather myself. Unless you want me to throw up on you I need a minute. Okay?!" Kurt snapped.
Blaine took a second to remind himself that Kurt was only acting like an asshole because he was scared, and then thought of a solution. "Okay baby, I understand. I'll give you as much time as you need," Blaine said gently. He wrapped Kurt into a tight hug and started rubbing his back. Kurt instantly melted into the hug, and Blaine was pleased with that. His poor Kurt just wanted comfort. "It's okay Kurt, I'm here. I know this is scary but I promise I'm going to be here every step of the way. Everything is okay," he soothed.
They stood there in the hall for a few seconds before Blaine gently tapped Kurt on the shoulder. "Okay baby, you're okay now. Let's go into the room and I'll sit down with you, can you do that for me please?" Kurt nodded into Blaine's shoulder. "Okay Kurt, thank you." Blaine lead him into the room and sat Kurt on his lap in the chair. Kurt still had his face hid in Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine kept playing with Kurt's hair to make him feel better. Kurt reacted much better to slowly taking small steps. So that's how Blaine did it, he let Kurt sit there and relax on him for about 5 minutes, and when he felt that it was time he spoke up.
Kurt felt more relaxed once he was close to Blaine and was able to breathe in the soothing scent of his boyfriend. He felt so safe in Blaine's arms, they made all of his fears melt away like magic. He enjoyed the relaxing time while it lasted, but then Blaine spoke up and his stomach was back in knots.
"Baby I think it's time to get moving with this. Do you think I can start you on the nitrous now?" Blaine asked gently, getting out of the chair and leaving Kurt sitting there by himself.
"I want it to take away the fear, Blaine."
"Alright Kurt, then let's start you on the gas. It'll help, I promise." Blaine scooted the tank of NO2 over towards Kurt and put a new nose piece on it. "I'm leaning the chair back a little so the mask will stay on your nose," Blaine warned before setting the chair back and sitting the mask on Kurt's nose. "Adjust it so it feels comfortable on you, okay? Try to suck in a whole bunch of that stuff Kurt, it's like 50 bucks an hour. That's some expensive air stuff," Blaine joked, squeezing Kurt's shoulder a little.
Kurt fiddled uncomfortably with the mask on his nose, trying to get it to rest correctly. "This feels stupid," he muttered. Kurt laid there trying to breathe in as much gas as he could, silently hoping for it to take away the fear. He could feel the vanilla scented gas spreading from his throat to his chest, and through his entire body, creating a sensation of tingles everywhere.
"You look adorable Kurt," Blaine cooed.
"Well I feel stupid," Kurt complained again. He didn't like being here, it made him feel too vulnerable. He was at Blaine's mercy, and soon he was going to be completely exposed to them. It didn't feel right. He was going to have to lay there and take whatever they were going to do to him.
"Blaine, you'll stop if I ask you to, right? You won't keep drilling if it hurts?"
"Of course Kurt, I will not let you feel any pain. If you raise your hand I won't hesitate to stop, okay?"
Kurt nodded minimally as he continued to breathe in the gas.
"You'll be okay, you're in good hands my love. You're safe with me," Blaine soothed, rubbing Kurt's shoulders. "Can I get you anything? A blanket, a cold or warm rag?"
"No," Kurt mumbled. "I'm okay."
"Okay, well I'm going to get Ashlyn to go over the treatment plan with her. I'll be back in a few minutes," Blaine said, giving Kurt's shoulder another reassuring squeeze before walking back out.
After a while Kurt's thoughts became more foggy and harder to understand. It was hard to focus on more than one thing at a time. Kurt's thoughts wondered as Blaine came back in and went over the X-rays with Ashlyn. He tried to tune out the conversation because he didn't feel comfortable hearing people talk about his teeth. He didn't want to know about the gross details because then the shame would come back. He didn't want to think about how this would already be over if he'd done it years ago, he didn't want to think about how close he was to needing a root canal, and he certainly didn't want to think about how literal drills were going to be shoved into his teeth in a few minutes. He groggily pulled some earbuds out of his pocket and put them into his phone unsteadily. The gas was messing with his coordination he noted. He pressed shuffle on an upbeat playlist and shoved the earbuds into his ears so he wouldn't have to hear the stupid dental talk occurring a few feet away from him.
Kurt saw Blaine walk back over to him and he pulled out one earbud to see what he wanted. "Hey Kurt, is it okay if I look around again before we start to make sure everything's the same?"
"I doubt anything changed in the last 24 hours but okay," Kurt replied.
Blaine laughed lightly. "I just want to look with the better light baby, okay? No need to be sassy," he countered. He clipped a paper bib around Kurt before flipping on the light and adjusting the chair.
Kurt felt a little uncomfortable, even with the gas making his brain fuzzy, but nothing scary was happening yet so he was okay. He watched Blaine cover his face with a mask and put on loupes. He didn't like Blaine when he was like this, it didn't feel like his Blaine. "I don't like you like this," Kurt mumbled.
Blaine frowned from under his mask. "I know baby but it's still me." He picked up two different tools and held them under Kurt's chin. "Kurt can you open for me?"
Kurt opened and allowed Blaine to poke around his mouth again, only mildly annoyed with all of the tapping and scraping. Didn't Blaine already do this last night? It seemed unnecessary. Kurt laid there numbly as Blaine poked around at his teeth, watching in somewhat of a daze as the tools stuck out of his mouth. The gas must have been working somewhat because he wasn't scared at the moment. Blaine called out different things as Ashlyn typed them into the computer, and Kurt pieced together that Blaine was probably charting things or something. This went on for a few minutes before Blaine finally retracted the tools and Kurt closed his mouth.
"Okay Kurt, thank you. You're doing really good. Do you think you're ready to start now?" Blaine asked sweetly.
Ashlyn pulled up a chair and sat on the left side of Kurt, and he tightened his jaw unconsciously and his whole body tensed. He was starting to realize that the gas only dulled the fear that was still very much there.
"No Blaine, you're going to stick needles in my face now," Kurt whined.
"Kurt, you need to be numb. Unfortunately it's a necessary evil. This restoration I'm doing is way too deep to even consider doing without anesthetic," Blaine tried to reason with his stubborn boyfriend. He reached over and turned up the gas a little.
Kurt laid there indecisively for a few seconds, glancing between Blaine and Ashlyn and realizing he was starting to embarrass himself. Then his head started to feel more fuzzy so he just settled on asking a question. "Blaine, will it hurt?" Kurt questioned.
"It won't hurt, Kurt. I'm going to use some topical first so you don't feel it," Blaine explained. He accepted the two q-tips with topical lidocaine on them from Ashlyn and showed them to Kurt. "Can you open for me Kurt?"
Kurt realized that now he was basically giving Blaine permission to stick him with needles, but opened his mouth anyway and allowed Blaine to put the topical in the two different spots. One went in the top right side of his mouth and the other on the bottom left. The gel tasted bitter and disgusting.
Blaine let that sit for a few seconds and then took them out. Ashlyn handed him the syringe and Blaine kept it out of Kurt's line of sight as he prepped it. "Good job Kurt, can you open up for me again?"
Kurt laid there for a few seconds, scared and unsure. The gas could only help so much, he was still scared. He knew he didn't want to do this.
Ashlyn took Kurt's hand. "You can squeeze my hand, okay? It's just a tiny prick, I promise. I hate needles too, but these are the easiest kind to endure. You hardly feel them."
Kurt nodded minimally, now feeling embarrassed and wanting this to be over with. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth. He felt Blaine enter his mouth with the heavy syringe and tensed up a little in anticipation. Ashlyn squeezed his hand reassuringly. Then he felt it, and it sure as hell wasn't a tiny prick. It was a sharp pain that was closer to a stab. A distressed whimper-like sound escaped from the back of his throat as he opened his eyes in a panic.
"Kurt baby I know it doesn't feel nice but please shut your eyes. I'm almost done," Blaine said quickly.
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He could feel the medicine going in now and it stung. It tasted vial and it was damn painful. He took in a deep breath through his nose, begging the gas to do whatever magic Blaine claimed it would do and make the fear go away. It didn't. There was still a needle stuck in his mouth, and it still fucking hurt. His breaths were uneven now and he was pressing himself into the chair in a panic. It seemed to last forever, but in reality it couldn't have been more than 30 seconds. Finally Blaine took the needle out of Kurt's mouth.
Ashlyn and Blaine both felt terrible for Kurt but nothing they said was helping right now. Ashlyn squeezed his hand and Blaine tried to say comforting words but Kurt was still panicking. The instant it was over Ashlyn wasted no time on damage control.
"That was great, Kurt. You did so good. Here, let me rinse the rest out of your mouth, okay?" Kurt opened his mouth back up numbly and let Ashlyn rinse out the gross taste.
"Kurt that was so good. You only have to do it one more time and then the hard part is over," Blaine comforted.
It was only then that Kurt realized he had to do that again. The anxiety in his chest started to rise and he shook his head. "Blaine, I am not doing that again," Kurt protested seriously. "It hurt, Blaine."
"Kurt, we have to do this today. Then you're finished. I know you don't want to come back. Please let's just get this over with, just one more prick."
Kurt wanted to scream about how it wasn't a fucking prick, but Ashlyn was right there and he had enough self respect not to embarrass himself like that. He was still damn terrified but he opened his mouth back up again anyway and let Blaine do it again, if anything just so he didn't embarrass himself more than he already had. It hurt the second time too and this time tears escaped his eyes even though they were squeezed shut. The stupid gas that was supposed to be some kind of cure hardly helped as his fear still seemed to leak through. It finally ended and Blaine was praising him for the good job he did, but Kurt didn't care. He felt miserable and humiliated. His face was starting to feel puffy and gross and he couldn't rest it normally anymore.
"That was the worst part, Kurt. You did great. I'm really proud of you," Blaine continued to praise but at this point it was just starting to piss Kurt off. He was tired of all the bullshit praises, they were making him feel like a damn child.
"Blaine, I am a grown ass man. Stop talking to me like I'm your child!" Kurt snapped.
Blaine knew Kurt got angry when he was scared but he definitely wasn't expecting that one. Ashlyn left the room awkwardly and gave the two their privacy.
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I was only trying to help you feel better," Blaine said simply.
This time Kurt just kept all of the angry comments to himself because he didn't have the energy to argue. "I'm drugged, Blaine. I don't have the coherence to even try to explain to you how terrible I feel right now. This is just really sucky, okay? The gas isn't helping, I'm still scared."
"It's helping you, Kurt. Just try to submit your mind to it. You have to relax if you want it to work."
"You don't think that I'm trying to relax, Blaine? I want to relax so badly but I'm terrified. I'm trying my best," Kurt said in a small voice. He was getting to the point where he just wanted Blaine. He was scared and he wanted comfort more than he wanted to argue. "I'm sorry that I'm being mean. Please just come hold my hand or something. I'm scared and I need you."
Blaine smiled a little. "I know, and I understand why you're being mean. Let's sit here for a little while and I'll rub your shoulders, okay?" Blaine sat there and helped Kurt relax by rubbing his shoulders and reassuring him over and over that he'd be okay. Kurt was visibly calming down more as Blaine rubbed his shoulders and soothed him.
After about 10 minutes Blaine spoke up. "Honey, does your face feel weird yet?"
Kurt nodded. "My tongue and lip feels funny," he mumbled.
"That's good. It seems the anesthetic worked quite effectively," Blaine commented. He scooted over and pulled his gloves back on. Then he flipped the light on and picked up the mirror and explorer. "Okay Kurt, can I check really quick? I'm going to mess with your tooth a little to make sure you're completely numb."
Kurt's mind was pretty scattered at this point, so instead of talking he just opened his mouth and let Blaine poke at his face again. He heard Blaine scratch at the tooth with the broken filling a few times, and he could faintly feel the pressure but it certainly didn't hurt like he expected it to. It was a very odd feeling. Though, it was good to know that the anesthetic was working because that would have hurt like hell otherwise.
"I suppose that means you can't feel it?" Blaine asked, taking the tools out of Kurt's mouth so he could reply.
Kurt shook his head. "I can feel it, but it doesn't hurt. Just kind of a faint pressure, is that normal?"
Blaine nodded in affirmation. "Yes honey, that's perfectly normal. I'll be right back, I'm going to go get Ashlyn so we can start." Then Blaine popped back out of the room to bring his assistant back.
Kurt felt okay for the most part. The nitrous definitely made it harder to feel scared, and consciously trying to relax helped a lot, Blaine was right about that. Perspective was a very powerful thing.
Blaine then walked back in with Ashlyn, who smiled warmly at Kurt who seemed to be doing much better now. The two sat back down and hovered over Kurt, the calmness now starting to slip away again at the realization that this was happening now. He hated them being so close in his personal space. It made him feel vulnerable and powerless, even more so when Blaine lowered the chair more to the point where Kurt was completely flat.
"Okay Kurt, I know you probably aren't going to like this too much but I'm going to prop your mouth open with this," Blaine explained, showing Kurt the mouth prop. "It's going to help you keep your mouth open incase you fall asleep, and that way I don't have to keep reminding you to hold your mouth open. I'm also going to put a rubber dam over your tooth to keep out bacteria and keep the area more clean. Do you have any questions? After this you won't really be able to speak."
"Blaine, those are the things people need when they get root canals. You said I didn't need that," Kurt argued. "You're not lying to me and doing a root canal, are you?" he fretted.
"Kurt baby, I promise I'm not doing a root canal. I just like using rubber dams. They make the composite last longer and help keep out bacteria more efficiently. Tell him Ashlyn, don't love using rubber dams?"
"It's true, he loves using them. They make the restoration last longer. It's a preference thing really, but it's not uncommon to use rubber dams for fillings. Some people just like using cotton rolls to isolate the tooth, others prefer rubber dams. I promise you Blaine isn't doing a root canal without telling you, even if you are his boyfriend it would be illegal to keep that information from you," Ashlyn supplied.
Kurt seemed satisfied enough with that answer. "Okay, I don't have anymore questions. I guess you can silence me now."
"Awe, Kurt. It's only for a little while, and then your face won't hurt anymore. You're gonna be okay. Raise your hand if you need me to stop at any point, okay?"
Kurt nodded in understanding, but hesitated to open his mouth. "Blaine, what if it hurts?"
"Kurt, it won't. I just checked, remember?"
"But this is gonna be different," Kurt argued.
"It isn't, and if you need me to stop you raise your hand. Remember? Now why don't you turn your music up all the way and let me start? Please Kurt," Blaine coaxed.
Kurt seemed to still be displeased with Blaine's reply. He didn't really expect him to say anything that helped, at this point Kurt just really didn't want to do this, but he didn't really have a choice either. He sighed. "Okay, sorry. Just start," he said, opening his mouth.
"Thank you Kurt," Blaine said sweetly, placing in the mouth prop.
Then Kurt felt Blaine putting the rubber dam around his tooth and couldn't help but feel stupid. It wasn't a nice feeling to be this out of control, and now he couldn't even close his mouth if he wanted to. Kurt turned his music up as loud as it would go and closed his eyes, trying to check out of the situation. He was still scared, but trying to stay awake and watch what Blaine did in terror wasn't going to help. Maybe if he was lucky he'd be able to fall asleep and when he woke up it would be over.
Blaine was pleased with Kurt's willingness, his boyfriend was stubborn but he still trusted him. Then he accepted the spoon excavator that Ashlyn handed him and started scraping out the now unhealthy tissue that had previously been hard but now grown soft. The restoration would have been much smaller if Kurt came in when it first happened, but now decay had eaten away at a lot of the surrounding tooth structure. When be was finished he handed the tool back to Ashlyn and accepted the hand piece. Then he started getting rid of all the rest of the unhealthy tooth.
Kurt wasn't as bothered by Blaine working as he thought he'd be at first. He could have almost convinced himself that his tooth was just getting sprayed with water because that's all it felt like. However, as it got deeper it got harder to deny exactly what Blaine was doing. There was more pressure and it was more uncomfortable. It definitely wasn't painful, but it still didn't feel nice and Kurt wasn't able to fall asleep like he hoped. In between songs he was able to hear the loud squeal of the drill and it wasn't nice, but he'd calm back down when the next song came on. Thankfully the gas was making him kind of dazed, so time seemed to pass by faster and if he tried hard enough he could almost forget what was going on. It wasn't that bad.
The restoration prep itself wasn't taking that long, but Blaine took his time to make sure he was saving as much healthy tooth structure as possible. Unfortunately this was a rather large filling due to all of the decay that accumulated in it over time, but it was fixable nevertheless. It took a little while, but he got all of the decay out of #3 and moved onto working on #2. Luckily that cavity was significantly smaller than he initially anticipated, and the restoration was very small. This was a small filling and it probably wouldn't ever need to be replaced with good hygiene.
After a little while Kurt got used to the odd sensation and was able to relax, now sure that it wasn't going to hurt. His jaw was growing kind of sore from his mouth being open like this but it wasn't that bad. He focused on the music that was blasting in his ears intently, and if he thought about the different sounds in the music hard enough he forgot what Blaine was doing. He listened to the different instruments playing in the music, about the lyrics, and about the meaning of the song. Anything really so he didn't think about what Blaine was doing. It worked pretty effectively, this wasn't bad.
Blaine handed the hand piece back to Ashlyn and accepted the next thing she handed him. He got to filling the two holes he made, taking his time to do quality work. He dried the composite filling material one layer at a time for the larger restoration, but for the smaller one it wasn't necessary. When he was finished it look very nice and he was pleased with himself. It would be hard to tell there was even a filling in either tooth. He took off the rubber dam and took the mouth prop out of Kurt's mouth. He pulled out one of the earbuds. "Hey baby, you did so good. We're almost finished with this side, I just need to check your bite. Can you bite down on this? Okay, good. Now grind a little... Alright. Looks good. Let me polish over it for you." Blaine polished over the fillings and then let Kurt close his mouth.
Kurt could easily tell when Blaine stopped drilling and started filling his tooth. That meant the hardest part was over, he was so close to being done with this. When Blaine asked him to he completed the small tasks to so make sure the filling was even or something, he wasn't sure. "So that means I'm almost done?" Kurt said happily when he could close his mouth.
"You are so close to being finished with this, honey. We just need to change out that other filling, but this is all easy stuff now," Blaine replied happily. "Just a little bit longer and then we're out of here, okay?"
"Okay," Kurt answered. "Let's finish this. Will you check again before you start though? Just to make sure? It's not that I don't trust you I just really don't want to feel it."
Blaine chuckled lightly. "Of course baby, let me check for you." Ashlyn handed him the explorer. "Open up for me Kurt."
Kurt did, expecting to feel the same lack of feeling as before, but this time he felt a faint pain. He could feel Blaine scratching at his tooth this time. It was a small pain and it certainly didn't hurt a lot, but it was there nevertheless and he didn't want to think about how that would feel if it wasn't just scratching.
Blaine saw the panic flicker in Kurt's eyes. "Are you feeling that a little bit? Don't worry honey, I can give you a little more anesthetic. Sometimes certain areas are harder to get completely numb, but it's not a problem to give you more."
Kurt nodded quickly. He didn't like needles obviously but that was the better alternative. He really didn't want to feel this. So he opened his mouth up when Blaine asked him to and got stuck with a needle again, only this time it didn't hurt as much because he was already kind of numb.
"Okay Kurt, you're good to go. Let's finish this, shall we? Open up for me."
Kurt opened a little and Blaine put in the stupid mouth prop again. Kurt was beginning to hate it. He didn't like not being able to close his mouth and quite frankly the thing was making his jaw start to hurt, but obviously he didn't say something because he couldn't. His mouth was stuck open. Kurt didn't have the energy to fight it, so he just put the earbuds back into his ears and tried to ignore what was happening. He could only hope that Blaine knew what he was doing. The anesthetic probably worked fast or something, there probably wasn't any point in waiting. So Kurt just let Blaine do it.
Blaine got right to work with replacing the filling, first cleaning out the old one. It made sense that this filling wasn't doing its job very well, quite frankly it didn't look that well done. "Geez, am I the only one who knows how to do quality work around here? This filling was done terribly. The work is lazy and sloppy. Probably the same guy who did the filling that broke. It baffles me that someone cared little enough to do work like this," Blaine commented to Ashlyn.
"I know, it's infuriating. You know, I can understand that some people are in this field solely for the money and stability, but it isn't that hard to send your patients home with quality work in their mouth. You don't have to be extremely passionate about something to do a good job," Ashlyn agreed as she suctioned.
Kurt was trying so hard to think about anything but what was happening right now, but it felt different this time and he physically couldn't ignore it. He wasn't sure if bottom teeth were just generally more sensitive or if he wasn't numbed properly, but this was really uncomfortable. It wasn't that it hurt, but the deeper Blaine drilled the more he could feel it and the more unnerving it was. It was freaking him out. The intense pressure never really crossed over into pain, but it was so unsettling. Kurt was trying so hard not to freak out, but this was really getting to him. His whole body was tense and his heart was racing, this really wasn't nice. He kept reminding himself that this was only temporary, chanting the word in his mind loudly over and over again until it didn't sound like a word. 'Temporary, temporary, temporary.' It wasn't working, this was scary even with the gas that was slightly dulling the panic so it didn't reach the stage of an anxiety attack. He sucked in deep breaths of the gas, wanting it to take away this terrible feeling so bad.
Kurt wasn't having much of a physical reaction to the overwhelming fear, it was more of an internal panic that only made his heart beat hard and fast and his body grow just slightly stiff. On the inside however it was a terrible all-consuming anxiety.
At one point Kurt could have sworn the uncomfortable pressure was starting to progress into a stinging sensation, but he couldn't have been sure if it was real or not. The anxiety could have been milking nothing into something, this had to have been his brain. It wasn't actually that bad, but damn perspective really was everything in the sense that Kurt's phobic perspective was making this feel like hell. It was utterly terrifying.
Then he started doing the most absolutely ridiculous and desperate thing he could think of. He started praying for some kind of relief from this terrible panicked feeling, praying for the very uncomfortable pressure not to get any worse, and praying for any kind of peace. In all honesty Kurt considered himself more of an agnostic, but if there was even the slightest chance that there was some upper power out there that gave a shit about him being scared during this stupid filling; despite all of the people dying from terrible illnesses and starving to death, then he wanted that relief, even if it was just enough to get through this.
Whether some unappreciated panda god gave him just enough self control to push through the last bit of this or he got through it because that was literally the only option, he wasn't sure, but it did stop eventually. At some point Blaine set down the loathed drill and he didn't pick it back up, and Kurt couldn't have been more relieved. He relaxed back into the chair and his heartbeat slowed back down. It was over. It was finally over.
After a few more minutes of laying there Blaine finished for good and Kurt shut his mouth for the last time that day. Ashlyn left and Kurt laid there for a few more minutes while oxygen flushed all of the nitrous out of his system and Blaine cleaned up. It wore off pretty quickly and Kurt came out of his slightly dazed state. He ran his tongue over the new fillings in fascination, they felt smooth like glass. The one on #3 felt the strangest because there was previously a huge chunk of tooth missing and now it felt whole again. It was kind of pathetic in a way because he'd forgotten what it felt like to have something there.
"They feel nice," Kurt commented. "Almost too smooth in contrast to the rest of the tooth."
"That will go away after a while, your tongue just isn't used to the filling yet," Blaine explained casually. "You know I'm really proud of you. I also know you're probably tired of hearing that but I'm going to keep telling you anyway. You did it. You don't have to worry about this anymore, it's over with. Kurt, even though you were terrified you did it and I'm so so so proud of you."
Kurt couldn't help but smile a little at the praise, this time it felt genuine. "Thank you," he said in a whisper. "Not to sound cocky or anything, but I'm pretty proud of myself too. That was hard and it freaked me out a lot at some points, but it's over now and I'm more than happy that it's behind me."
"You should be, baby. I know that wasn't easy for you," Blaine said, walking back over to Kurt and taking the mask off of his nose and sitting the chair up.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked.
"Yes honey?"
"My mouth tastes like tooth dust," Kurt complained seriously. "I think there's still chunks of shaved tooth in my mouth, this is really gross."
Blaine laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess that's the less glamorous side of things. There's disposable cups by the sink. You can rinse your mouth out."
Kurt got up and walked over to the sink a little unsteadily, and filled the small cup up with water and tried to swish with the water, but only now did he realize how numb his mouth actually was. The water didn't stay in because he couldn't press his lips together effectively with the whole not being able to feel them thing and water shot out of his mouth and all over the counter and the small container of paper towels sitting on it. He covered his mouth in shock and embarrassment and he wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. "Oh my god Blaine I'm so sorry I just spit water everywhere," Kurt apologized profusely and he tried to clean up the spill.
Blaine wasn't angry at all and he just ended up laughing. "Awe baby no don't apologize, you can't feel your face, it's alright. They're just paper towels, we have more. I need to sterilize the counter anyway, I promise it's not a big deal." He walked over and wrapped his poor numb boyfriend into a hug. "You look oddly adorable right now," he added. Then Blaine tried to kiss Kurt but he quickly turned his head away.
"Uh uh, my mouth still tastes gross hold on," he said quickly. He rinsed his mouth out again, this time holding his lips in place so water didn't shoot out of his mouth, and then allowed Blaine to give him a peck on the lips.
They got in the car a few minutes later and Blaine started driving home, but Kurt had another idea. "Blaine, I want ice cream."
"Okay Kurt, we'll get ice cream if you can manage to eat it with your numb face," Blaine chuckled. "Not to be a party pooper but you know you still need a cleaning, right? It's been a while."
Kurt grimaced. "I don't need it," he argued.
"You do need it. It's nothing compared to what you did today, you'll be fine. I'm scheduling your appointment for next week," Blaine said simply.
"Nu uh!" Kurt protested. "Next month. I did good today, I deserve a break."
Blaine rolled his eyes. "Okay fine, I'll give you a break, but you're not allowed to put up a fight the day of if I agree to this. Got it?"
Kurt nodded. Then another question popped into his head. "Oh my god I didn't tell you that I don't want silver fillings. Please tell me you used the white kind Blaine, please."
Blaine furrowed his brows. "But the silver kind lasts a little longer than the white kind, Kurt. It's the better alternative."
Kurt inwardly swore. "Blaine I swear to god if you put ugly fillings in my mouth!" He quickly pulled down the visor and opened his mouth to look at the fillings in the mirror, and Blaine was laughing at him the entire time. When he saw they were all tooth colored he relaxed and lightly shoved his boyfriend in the arm. "Not funny Blaine."
"I thought it was pretty funny, you're so dramatic Kurt. Don't worry, your fillings are super pretty. You're welcome."
Kurt put the visor back up, rolling his eyes. "You're right though, they are really pretty."
"Hell yeah they are!"
A/N: what did you guys think? I think this is the last of this story but I could continue it if you all really want more. Maybe I could add a small bonus chapter of Kurt being overdramatic as fuck over a cleaning? Or maybe make Kurt need a root canal for that one tooth? That would be so mean, poor Kurtsie. Shall we leave Kurt alone? It's up to you guys.
Also shout out to Sora for always being awesome and leaving super sweet reviews. Thank you! I really do appreciate it. You should make an account so we can PM.
Thank you to everyone who's read/reviewed/followed/favorited this story, I appreciate it!