"But his love of life is wonderful; I go further: I, who sicken and freeze at the mere thought of him, when I recall the abjection and passion of this attachment, and when I know how he fears my power to cut him off by suicide, I find it in my heart to pity him."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

He pushed himself away; tore his hand from the sweaty, limp appendage keeping him in place and crumpled to the floor breathing erratically. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to forget he could see, trying to forget he could hear. A wisp of smoke tickled his nose and he squeezed the metal handle until his fingers hurt. What looked like white snow danced in his vision and on the back of his eyelids. A strained, "oh dear God," shot out of his mouth as he put his head between his knees. His lips and throat felt dry, and his hand ice cold where a warm palm had been moments before. An inhuman white hot silence burned his ears and his eyes started to water under the pressure.

"I've had enough."

He raised his head to glare painfully at the spitting image of himself, who sat watching him from the couch. Negaduck's face was lax and his eyes indecipherable. A tiny hole in the back cushion could be seen just above where the bullet had grazed his shoulder. If he was bleeding it was impossible to tell as any blood would have blended in with his shirt. As for the back of the couch . . . well, considering who the gun belong to and all the cotton in the air, "non-existent" was the understatement of the year.

"Enough of arguing, of stupid fights that never go anywhere . . . I . . ." He sighed, pressing his free palm against his eye and tossing the gun on the couch with the other.

Drake wanted to go home and take that nap he meant to earlier, and forget about this whole thing. Then it dawned on him, why not? Why not just leave? There was nothing keeping him here, his curiosity was gone as was his composure, and it was a straight shot . . . scratch that . . . it was a straight line to the front door. Lanton hadn't locked it.

He got to his feet, sparing a glance at his silent double. His countenance had changed, but what had changed Drake wouldn't have been able to put to words. The idea that someone should know he had, however briefly, seen inside his twin's mind wasn't something he relished.

He gazed at him thoughtfully. Should he bother to tell him he was leaving? Drake shook his head. What was the point? His actions would be obvious enough and yet he couldn't bring himself to move. He felt he was entitled to an explanation, or at least a darn good reason for everything that had happened, except he wasn't sure he wanted one. The expression his twin was wearing -if you could call watching somebody an expression- was downright eerie.

Their eyes met and Drake found himself wondering if his eyes looked as translucent as his twin's. His twin -since when had he thought of him as that? He honestly couldn't remember, but the sickening knot in his stomach told him it had been for a while now. Did Negs think of him that way?

Drake blanched. What in the world was he thinking! He needed to go. He had been here too long. Negaduck was being far too quiet and staring way too much; something Drake found more than a bit creepy, especially since his repertoire consisted of everything loud and obnoxious. And having those liquid blue eyes continuously on him made him feel like he was in one of those dreams people have about going to school and realizing they're naked.

It was the house. It had to be the house. It was driving them insane, which explained why Negs was acting funny, why he was over analyzing everything, and why for some reason he noticed that Negaduck's eyes had gold streaks in the exact same places as his. Except, why did he assume they would be different? And why was he dwelling on it? Oh, yes, the bunnies, the colors, Neg's stupid gun -the house was crazy and so was he. It made perfect sense, didn't it? Crud, he really, really needed to go home and take that nap.

He turned to leave, but nearly gave himself a heart attack instead. He was already at the door to the foyer and in the process of reaching for the handle. He had left the middle of the room and not even known it. Okay, now he had a headache.

"Don't leave."

Okay, make that a migraine.

Drake looked back to see Negs hop up from the couch to stand beside it.

"You can't leave."

He knew it. He was going to die. He was going to be killed in a house of bunnies by a nutcase who . . . sounds exactly like me? Drake rubbed his ear. Maybe he wasn't hearing right, but he could have sworn Negaduck had sounded like Darkwing Duck.

He considered asking, but instead heard himself speaking softly, "give me one good reason why I should stay."

"Do you want to stay alive?"

This time Drake knew he wasn't imaging things, Negaduck had definitely sounded like Darkwing Duck, which meant he should really run away instead of walk away. He hadn't opened the door two inches when Negaduck grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He snapped.

"What's the matter with you? Do you have any idea just how weird you're acting?"

"Can it." Negs snapped, eyes not quite meeting his. He glanced in the hallway, then closed the door. "You can't leave, DW."

Drake stared at him as if he had just seen him save a kitten. "Okay, what's going on? What are you up to? What's with the "DW" all of a sudden? Why do you sound like me? And why can't I leave?!"

Negs growled irritably. "If I knew all of what was going on I still wouldn't tell you."

"Now you sound like yourself!"

"How do you sound when you're madder than hell?"

"And what do you mean you wouldn't tell me?"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION."

"Uh, I guess a lot like you -sometimes anyway."

Negs smiled mockingly. "Very good. How do you think I would sound if I wasn't angry?"

Drake shrugged. "I don't know, like me I guess."

Negaduck motioned with his hand."Come on now, finish the thought . . . "

"Wait, you mean for that one second you weren't mad about anything?" Drake knitted his brow. "What changed?"

"You started talking."

"Oh." Well that was simple enough. "Now do you mind telling me what's going on? You have a huge amount of explaining to do, so why not start with why I can't leave this hell hole."

Negs raised a brow. "For someone who doesn't like foul language, you've sure been using a lot of it."

"I have not! A creative phrase or two yes, but I don't cuss."

"Do you know what the word "foul" means?"

"Of course I do."

"Then you should know that I wasn't strictly accusing you of cussing."

"Well of course! Eh . . . um."

Negs crossed his arms. "Moron."

"Anyway . . . Why are either of us still here? It's plain as day this place is driving us both crazy. Let's just leave and forget all this ever happened."

"Can't."

Drake groaned. "And why in the world not?"

"Since when is the two of us being in the same place at the same time ever really by accident?"

"It's not -usually. But this couldn't have been planned, there's no way, my decision to go into the park was last minute."

"Yeah, but if I saw you walk into the park, who's to say Lanton didn't."

"That guy's an idiot, and why would he be interested in us?"

"That would be the million dollar question, wouldn't it?"

Something was off, very off. "What do you know that I don't?"

"What are you talking about?" Negs was now staring at him as if he'd just asked where Southern California was.

"You can't expect me to buy that, you've been acting stranger than usual all day. You never drink, you've been in this place over an hour and nothing is broken," Negs chuckled and pointed to the couch, "er, except that . . . AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING! You would never, and I mean never put a gun to your own head and tell someone to kill you, especially me! It goes against everything you stand for!"

"Is that what you think that was?"

Drake felt like a wind tunnel had opened up between his ears and blown everything out to sea. "Eh, huh?"

Negaduck gave him a half smile and sat back down on the couch. A cold chill wearing cleats ran down Drake's spine. He supposed any minute now the White Rabbit would jump out of the wall, tell him he was late for his date with a girl named Sadie and that she was waiting for him on a piano in Paris. He flopped down next to Negs utterly lost and confused.

"Do you hate me that much?" He asked softly to himself, not realizing he had said it aloud.

"Do you?" Came the reply.

Startled, Drake said, "I feel like I'm in a bad episode of The Twilight Zone."

"Who's to say you're not?"

Drake tossed his head back. "Oh, I don't know, they might argue otherwise."

"Who's they?"

"You won't like it."

"I don't generally like anything."

"Yeah, well this is different."

"How? What are you staring at anyway?" Negs threw a glance over his shoulder and nearly turned purple in the face. "MOTHER FUCK, NOT THEM!"

He fell off the couch in a fitful mix of horror and pure loathing. Three framed posters advertizing "The Little Lost Bunnies" movies stared down at him tauntingly.

Drake looked at him pitifully. "I told you not to look."

"This lady is sick," he muttered, "and I have half a mind to pluck every last feather off your sorry..."

Drake clamped Negs's beak shut as Tiffy had rejoined them with the tea tray. She stared curiously at the two, her large brown eyes drifting from Drake's overly zealous grin to Negaduck's narrowed gaze.

"Oh dear, are you all right, Steve?" She asked obliviously, as Negaduck picked himself up off the floor.

Drake swallowed. He wanted to laugh, he felt he should laugh, but for some reason he couldn't remember how to laugh. Negs eyed him briefly, then glared at Tiffy.

"Don't call me Steve, lady."

Tiffy seemed perplexed. "Why not?"

"Because my name isn't and never was Steve." He said hotly. "Your drunk of an idiot husband just started calling me that. Who was I to shatter his preconceived notions?"

"You." Drake whispered, prompting Negs's lips to twist horribly.

Tiffy pursed her lips. "Oh," she paused, "then what is your name?"

Broadsided by the question, Negs simply stared at her, eyes wide. He smiled charmingly. "You want to know my name?"

Tiffy gazed him like he had spoken to her in Latin, as the wheels in Drake's head spun out of alignment, trying desperately to come up with something. The last thing either one of them needed was their usual names to come to light.

"Uh, his name is . . .uh," a light went off, "Draco! His name is Draco."

Negs momentarily looked derailed. Flopping back onto the couch, he asked in low, harsh tones, "Where the hell did you come up with that crap name?"

"Uh, a book."

"A book."

Negaduck paused, then nodded to himself. "You've done it again."

"Done what?"

"Just when I think you've reached the end of your limits, you find a new level of stupidity."

"Hey! I don't see you batting one hundred, either."

"This is just a though, but don't you think it would have been better to go with something normal, like, oh I don't know, Mike or David; something a little less conspicuous and believable."

"Uh, well, yeah probably, but it's only one letter off from our name, so I though why not. Besides, we could tell Tiffy your name was Bunny and I bet she'd believe us."

Negaduck growled."There's a two letter difference you dunce, and had you told her my name was Bunny I would have turned you into rabbit food the hard way."

A brilliant light suddenly flashed before their eyes, forcing them to squint in confusion. Tiffy had unleashed the full power of her sugary smile on them.

"Oh, what a nice name! And what about your brother?"

Drake forced a grin. "Drake, Mrs. Waffleburn.

Tiffy smiled thoughtfully. "Hm, Drake and Draco. That is so cute!"

Negs smiled falsely.

"You're dead, Dipwing," he spat out so low that Drake wasn't quite sure he had heard it at all.

"This lady could cause diabetics to go into shock," Drake answered.

"I'll send her into shock, just give me an hour and a blow torch."

"It would take you an hour?"

"Use your head, moron, decent torture sessions aren't bathroom stall quickies, and it would take a while to melt all those damn figurines."

"Little too messy for my tastes."

Negs nearly cracked a real grin. "That was almost funny."

A squeaky noise snapped the two back to reality and to Tiffy, who was giggling at them like one would a baby.

"You two are too cute whispering amongst yourselves like that. I guess it's true that twins have a language all their own, because I couldn't understand a thing," she said brightly.

"Why do I have the feeling that's a common occurrence." Drake mumbled.

"So," she beamed, "what's it like being an identical twin? Do people ever get you mixed up?"

"What's it like?" Drake repeated. "Uh, I don't know, never thought about it. Never wanted to." The latter said out of Tiffy's hearing range.

Not sparing a glance at Drake, Negs picked up the question. "It blows. Any other stupid questions?"

Tiffy sat in confusion, moving her lips like a fish before saying, "okay, but what does it feel like?"

"Go look in a mirror." Negs snapped.

Tiffy thought for a moment. "I suppose I could, but I look in mirrors all the time and it feels normal. Besides, I can't touch a mirror."

"Then go touch someone else."

Drake snorted, knowing Negs had meant that in every conceivable way, but that it had sailed right over Tiffy's cute little head.

"Other people don't feel like me, though."

"Holy..." This time Drake burst out laughing, drowning out the rest of his words.

Tiffy smiled. "What's so funny, Drake?"

Negs gave her his first real smile that day. "Don't worry about it. It's a twin thing."

Drake choked back another laugh. "Yeah, a twin thing."

Another high squeal sailed out of their hostess. "You two are just way too cute. Oooh, I just want to lock you up and keep you!" Negs started to snort, but turned it into a cough as Tiffy launched into a tirade on why she wanted to keep them. It was like watching a caffeinated squirrel on a trampoline.

"Energetic isn't she?"

"No rechargeable batteries for this one."

Drake leaned over slightly. "Then why does she need us?"

Negaduck smiled. "My guess is she can't read instructions."

"Read? I'm not entirely sure she doesn't have tunnel vision."

Drake had a point. Tiffy had yet to notice all the cotton strewn about, or the damage to her couch. In fact, Negs was starting to wonder if she'd notice if he set the window seat on fire.

He must have been broadcasting his thoughts loudly, because to his surprise Drake slipped him a lighter and said, "well, this is The Twilight Zone isn't it?"

"Must be, hell isn't supposed to be nearly this cruel. But I was thinking of something larger." He flicked the lighter on and off, his eyes twinkling. "Something to cause a mushroom cloud -a small one, but big enough to send this place back to hell."

Drake frowned. "I'm curious . . . why haven't you set fire to anything yet?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Tiffy started laughing harder and harder until it was more a series of shrill gulps and hiccups. The two mallards exchanged looks of repugnance; this lady was definitely beginning to grate their nerves. Finally she stopped, but not before drawing a deep rasping breath.

"Uh, Mrs. Waffleburn, are you okay?"

Negs snorted, "no," and Tiffy answered, "I'm just fine, Drake."

"Uh, o-kay, just checking."

Tiffy giggled. "Well aren't you sweet. So how do you feel about having a twin?"

"You're really stuck on that, aren't you?"

"Oh, it's just that I'm so curious. I've never met twins before."

"It's nothing to get excited over, trust me."

For once Tiffy's bright smile faltered. "You don't feel special, or anything?"

Drake thought about it for a moment. "If feeling cursed is special, then yes."

Her eyes started tearing up, and her lip quivered. "That's so tragic I don't even want to think about it."

"Then don't." Negs piped up.

Tiffy was horrified. "I can't believe you two, being a twin is supposed to be something joyful and special -kind a like a secret club."

"Lady, the only special thing in this room is you."

Drake felt his stomach drop. Tiffy had finally noticed "Draco" wasn't joking playfully, and she was staring at him with a mix of uncertainty and fear. Drake knew the look currently on Negaduck's face all too well, which meant he should have left five minutes ago. Only, once again, Negs surprised him.

"Hey, where did that big lug you call a husband get to?"

Tiffy pointed to a sliding glass door half hidden by pink curtains.

"It's been nice bit of hell talking to you, but I've got business to attend to." Negs promptly stood up, smiled at Tiffy - to which she recoiled- and headed out the sliding door.

Drake watched him go wondering what was wrong with the law abiding part of himself. Normally, he would have been right on Negaduck's tail putting a stop to whatever scheme he had put into action. But taking one, long look around, and then at Tiffy, Drake decided right then and there that he didn't care if Negs set fire to it. He had always been of the mind that some things just shouldn't be, and this place was definitely one of them. He started after Negs, but an annoying little voice stopped him. Leveling with Tiffy, he smiled at her wearily.

"Don't worry about it, he's like that with everybody. In fact, I'm surprised he stayed civil as long as he did."

"But why?" She implored softly, her eyes two big brown pools of tears.

"Ah, well, I don't know. I don't know what made him like this, but I do know you shouldn't take it personal."

"How can you stand it?" She sobbed. "How did you grow up to be so sweet, and he's, he's . . ."

Drake handed her a tissue. "A jerk?"

"Yes!"

"Truthfully, I'm kind of a jerk too -I'm not as mean as him, but I have my moments."

Tiffy blew her nose. "So? Everybody does, but I haven't heard you say one mean thing the whole time you've been here."

Drake laughed uncomfortably. "That's because you were in the kitchen."

"What?" She asked timidly.

"Well," he kicked at the ground, "Draco and I had a huge argument while you were in the kitchen, and we both said a lot of horrible things to each other, so I really can't say I'm better than him at this point."

"But did you start it?" Now she was gazing at him like a heartbroken puppy, making Drake feel like he'd stolen bread from a starving child.

"Yes and no."

"Yes and no?"

"Er . . . yes, because we always fight and it's no longer a matter of who started it, it's just something we do. No, because he was trying to provoke me and he did."

Tiffy relaxed a bit. "Then you didn't start it."

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter which of us started it."

"How come?"

"Because this really is the Twilight Zone," he mused.

"Huh?"

He snapped out of it. "Sorry. Um . . . It," he sighed, not believing himself. "It doesn't matter which of us started it because . . . because . . ." He stared straight into Tiffy's wide eyes. "Because . . .," for one instant he wanted to die, at least I think he did, "never mind . . . it doesn't matter. Excuse me, Mrs. Waffleburn, but I should go find my wayward twin."

Tiffy stood up crying and gave him a big bear hug. "Of course." She took him hard by the shoulders, gazing into his eyes earnestly. "You go find that brother of yours and tell him you're sorry, and that . . . and that you love him."

She broke down in Drake's arms, hiccupping into his shirt. Drake, not sure what he should do, patted her on the back and set her down gently. He smiled kindly and assured her that he would fix the rift between him and his brother . . . with bars and thick concrete walls.