Chapter Four – Time Warp

Stan, Kyle, and Cedric walked through the late afternoon sunlight, headed toward the Denkins ranch. Cedric informed them that it was there that all the trouble started. The ones responsible for the insanity that had gripped the town would be there, more than likely waiting for them.

"Whatever you do," Cedric warned, "do not accept anything they offer you. These Beings often try to trick their enemies with offers of redemption or great wealth, but they always have an ulterior motive. Nothing good ever comes from accepting help from monsters like them."

The boys looked at each other. Cedric seemed to have a great deal of bitterness toward these creatures. Kyle wondered just how much experience the cowboy had had with them; had they hurt him in the past? If so, what kind of unimaginable horrors were they capable of if they could hurt one as powerful as Cedric?

"Do not think of me as powerful, Kyle," he said, reading the Jew's thoughts. "I am but a servant of a greater good."

"Please don't do that," Kyle responded. "Stay out of my head."

Cedric almost looked hurt at the unfriendliness of the other's words, but composed himself quickly. He stopped suddenly in the middle of the street and looked around as though they were being followed.

"What is it?" Stan asked.

The man didn't answer right away. He simply closed his eyes and raised his clenched fists toward the heavens, as though doing so could help him to pick up on some supernatural radio station. He stayed like that for several minutes before he turned swiftly to Stan. There was an intensity burning there in his eyes like Stan had never seen and it frightened him a little.

"Are you---", he started to say, backing up a few steps.

"I must go," Cedric interrupted. "I will be back as soon as I can. Until then, do your best without me. Do not let your guard down for one second. Trust no one. Accept nothing!"

With that, he vanished as though he had never been there in the first place. Stan grunted in frustration, then looked to Kyle expectantly, as if his husband would just automatically know what they were supposed to do. Kyle resented such an assumption; just because he was a Jew everyone thought he had all the answers. Well, he was a Jew, not a rabbi, and he rarely had anything more than common sense to go on.

If people would use more of that, he thought bitterly, maybe they wouldn't need Stan and I to save their asses so fucking much.

"Well, I don't suppose it would do much good for us to go back now," Stan said.

Kyle nodded in agreement and they marched forward again, putting the erratic behavior of their new companion out of their minds. If their previous experience with him told them anything, it was that he'd be back eventually; hopefully, it was before the Beings made them both dead.

As they strolled peacefully through their old neighborhood, Stan smiled over at Kyle and took his hand. Kyle smiled back and squeezed it affectionately. They knew that their marriage wasn't perfect, and that they had problems from time to time, but they were so happy together that it made easier to forget about all of that and just love each other. Of course, Kyle had told him when they got together that if he ever got stupid and decided to try and "fix things" on his own again like he did in that Iowa fiasco, he'd find himself single and looking for an apartment before he could think "divorce". Kyle had had quite enough of his husband's attempts to "make things right" to last a life time.

Stan pulled his lover in for a passionate kiss, right there in the middle of the street where they used to play hockey. They locked lips for a brief minute, each savoring the taste and the feel of the other. It was such a euphoric feeling for both of them that they always lingered longer than was necessary, simply because they didn't want the moment to end. Even when it did, Stan would often pull away just enough to look longingly into his lover's deep green eyes, which complimented so well the cute little freckles he had on the bridge of his nose.

"I love you, Kyle," he said, pulling away just that far.

"I love you, too, Stan," Kyle replied.

They drew in for another kiss, but before they could make contact, they heard someone shuffle up behind them. They turned to look and saw Ike, Kyle's 16-year old adopted brother. He had a look in his beady eyes like he was deeply troubled and afraid. Kyle picked up on this right away and turned from Stan to comfort his sibling.

"Ike!" he cried, placing a hand on the young Canadian's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No," Ike said flatly, rudely slapping the hand away. "I'm not okay."

Kyle turned his head to give Stan a What-The-Fuck look, so he didn't see the brief flash of yellowish-red light that illuminated Ike's eyes. Stan, however, was staring directly in the boy's direction, so he picked up on it quite easily.

"Dude," Stan said, "there is something seriously wrong with your brother."

His husband looked offended by this. Not only was Stan insulting his family, he was suggesting that his brother was messed up in the head or something? Oh, there'd be no sex for him for a week.

"We've been over this," Kyle explained as patiently as he could. "He's Canadian. He's gonna be a little strange. Don't insult members of my family!"

"B-but..." Stan stuttered, "but it...was..."

Kyle waved an impatient hand at him while still focusing on his precious brother. This pissed Stan off more than anything. Never since they had been married had Kyle ever once waved him away, as though he were some kind of obnoxious child or servant. He decided he'd bite his tongue for now, however; saying too much at this point could result in no sex for a month. Since he was pretty sure he'd be romancing his right hand for at least a week already, he didn't want to press his luck.

"Tell me what's wrong, Ike," Kyle prodded, staring into the cold, lifeless eyes of what looked like the younger Brovlofski boy.

"It's mom and dad," the Canadian replied in a monotone voice. "They're different now. I'm really worried about them, Kyle."

Stan didn't buy it for a second; Ike sounded more like Ben Stein than a kid worried about his parents. Still, he could see Kyle falling for it hook, line, and sinker, and he had to make a choice. Should he speak up and voice his concerns, with the result being no sex again ever, or should he keep his mouth shut?

"Kyle," he said, opting to think of his husband instead of himself, "I'm sorry but there's something seriously wrong, I'm telling you."

"Stan," Kyle growled menacingly, turning his head to give him a scowl.

"No, Kyle!" the other barked back. "It's not just that he's Canadian. There's something wrong with his eyes."

Kyle looked at his brother, who just shrugged and scuffed his sneaker uncomfortably against the ground.

"All Canadians have beady eyes, Stan," he said without looking back. "Now please stop--"

"NO!" Stan bellowed, causing his husband to jump in surprise. "It wasn't just the beadiness. They were fucking glowing, you hear me? Glowing!!"

Kyle opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by the sound of his brother speaking in the same flat monotone.

"Why do you hate me, Stan?" he asked. "You've always hated my bond with Kyle and have always tried to come between us."

"Piss off, Canuck!"

"Stan! That's enough!" Kyle shouted at him. "My brother says there's something wrong with my parents, and I'm going to see what's up. If you can't respect my family, you don't have to come."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away with Ike. The Canadian gave Stan one last calculating look over his shoulder. His eyes flashed that strange color again, as if challenging him to do something about it. Stan cursed and followed moodily behind them, knowing that something about the situation stank like bad eggs. Still, if something was going to happen, he wanted to be there to protect his husband.

They arrived at the Brovlofski residence within minutes. There were several things about the place that set off warning bells in Stan's head, the biggest being the black pods in the front yard. If that wasn't enough, the stench of the place was almost unbearable. He knew before they ever got to the door that they were probably walking right into a trap, but telling Kyle would do no good, so he had to walk willingly into it, hoping for the best.

"Mom! Dad!" Kyle cried as he walked into the dark and dirty house. He ran through the living room, the kitchen, and through the entire upstairs searching for them. It was for this reason that he didn't see Ike deadbolt the door behind them. When he finally returned to the thing resembling his brother, he had a look of confusion on his face. "Ike, where are they?"

"Kyle, that isn't Ike," Stan said.

"Of course it is, Stan. Wha..."

"He's right, Kyle," the fake Ike said, his voice becoming a deep baritone. "I'm not Ike, and your parents are beyond helping."

Kyle looked over at Stan with a guilty look as if to say "Sorry I got us into this". Stan replied with a shrug of the shoulders and a "Shit happens" expression.

"What do you want with us?" Stan asked. "If you were gonna kill us, you could have done it in the street."

"Smart man," the Being possessing Ike responded with a smirk. "No, my intention wasn't to kill you, but to make you an offer."

"Forget it!" Kyle spat. "We're not taking anything from you."

"But what if I told you that you could correct all the mistakes of your past?" the Being countered. "I have no doubt that fool Cedric has been filling your head will all kinds of warnings against accepting anything from us. That's the type of hate speech I've come to expect from The Sent. However, I could send you back in time and let you fix what you both know is your biggest mistake."

"The day we separated for ten years," Stan said, staring intently ahead.

"Yes," the Ike-thing replied. "You could undo that. Think of all the years you'd have together if you went back and kept that from happening."

"What's the catch?" Stan asked.

"Stan!" Kyle cried, horrified. "You can't seriously be considering this, can you?"

"I'm considering it, yeah."

"No! Please, no! Our history...it's fine the way it is. Sure, we had our share of problems, but we ended up together in the end."

"Come on, Kyle," the Ike Being cooed. "Surely there's something in your past you want to fix? Wouldn't you like to have those ten years back that you lost? Wouldn't it be great if you'd spent that decade in Stan's arms instead of by yourself?"

"I want it," Stan said, "but what's the catch?"

"There is no catch," the Being told him. "It's very simple how this works. We want the both of you out of our hair. You want those ten years back. If you go back in time and fix your error, we estimate that there's only a 3 chance you'd actually still be living in this town today. You win, we win, you see?"

Stan stepped forward, holding out his hand for a shake.

"Deal," he said. "Do it."

"Stan!" Kyle moaned. "No!"

Ten minutes later, they were standing in the basement of the house, where a large futuristic platform straight out of Star Trek had been erected. Kyle was refusing to speak to Stan, but it didn't deter him at all. Stan was still determined to take the offer and fix the past no matter the cost.

"All you have to do, Stan," the Being explained, "is step up onto the platform. I'll hit a few buttons and you'll instantaneously find yourself on this spot in the past. I warn you, though, there is no coming back on your own. Once an hour passes, you'll find yourself back in the present day, regardless of what changes you've managed to make."

"I understand."

"Is there anything you wish to say to your husband before you go?"

"I...I love you, Kyle," Stan said, looking sadly at his husband.

"You're breaking your promise to me," the Jew responded coldly. "You told me that you would stay with me forever, that you wouldn't try to 'fix' things anymore. You remember that? It was right after I came after your stupid ass when you tried to run off to Iowa. You promised me that was the last time. I guess I don't mean as much to you as your own fucking pride, do I?"

With that, the red-haired love of Stan's life turned and walked up the stairs. After a moment, the Ike-thing motioned that they should get on with it.

"Okay, I'm ready," Stan said.

The Being hit a button and Stan vanished in an explosion of light.