JACK: We got the transceiver, but we don't know what to do,
The monster ate the pilot, and now we're all blue,
He said we were near Fiji,
He said things were not peachy,
And now we're getting this transmission and we do not have a clue.
SAYID: Let me listen please.
SHANNON: What a gentleman he is…
BOONE: Shannon-
SHANNON: What?
BOONE: Shannon-
SHANNON: What, Boone?
BOONE: Shannon, I love you….
SAYID: (Handing transceiver to Jack) It's French.
BOONE: No it's not- but I can say it in French- Mon ami.
SHANNON: That's not what he,
Was talking about, Boone.
SAYID: It's a French transmission hoop…
JACK: Or so appears…
SAYID: It's been repeating on a loop,
For sixteen years.
ALL: Say what?
CHARLIE: Where are we?
SAYID: Yes and I don't know.
SAWYER: What is the terrorist saying now?
SAYID: I am not a terrorist, I'll tell you how!
My Nadia, My Nadia,
In prision in Patiqua, In Patiqua,
For crimes she did not slew,
For things she did not do.
She was my friend, My childhood love,
My darling, my dearest, my friend,
I knew that when we go above,
It would be a bittersweet end…
CHORUS: For him and his-
SAYID: Nadia, Nadia, My darling, my dearest my friend,
I was told to hurt her in Patiqua,
To bring about her horrid end.
I was induced in the Republican guard,
To hit criminals good, to punish them hard,
But not for my Nadia, my Nadia,
I helped her escape to Saudia.
JACK: And now, where can she be?
SAYID: I know only that she's somewhere, apart from me…
CHORUS: He's…..a-part…from…his-
SAYID: (Reprise) Nadia, Nadia, the woman I want for a wife,
Nadia, Nadia, who helped me through pain and through strife,
She is beautiful, and lovely too,
Punished for crimes that she did not do,
My Nadia, dearest Nadia, lovely Nadia……whoooooooooooooo….
(Everyone leaves, except for Shannon and Sayid)
SHANNON: So, Sayid….You're already…kinda taken, huh?
SAYID: I do not know what you mean by 'taken'?
SHANNON: Well, that you've already found love.
SAYID: Love is not found once in a lifetime, Shannon.
SHANNON: I thought I knew what to do,
I though I was in love with Boone,
But then my mother said 'Hey Gus!'
And his father married my mother in Vegas,
And now we're related and I ask you- what should I do?
CHORUS: What should she do?
SAYID: (taking her hands) You are lovely, certainly lovely,
And he's lucky for someone like you,
Don't let relations get in the way,
Of what love was meant to do….
SHANNON: Oh..Oh…You're so…gentlemanly. I feel an asthma attack coming on. (she wheezes) Oh- my- gosh!
(Spotlight flashes to Sawyer, who is hoarding medical supplies from the plane)
SAWYER: (to himself) Ex-con Kate, Ex-Con Kate,
Someone wants to get a kiss from Ex-Con Kate…
SAYID: Sawyer, I need that inhaler-
SAWYER: Forget it, you jet-engine failer.
SAYID: Quickly, now.
SAWYER: But…I say…..(Sayid tortures him) OWWW!
SAYID: Sawyer, you've really gotten onto what Shannon calls 'nerves'
It wasn't my fault, that our plane hit some curves,
But now she needs, my good hand,
She's having asthma attacks and you need to be a man,
So Sawyer! Give me that inhaler!
SAWYER: Forget it.
SAYID: (to the Chorus) Now hit it.
CHORUS: Sawyer, you've gotten on Sayid's nerves,
And after he's done with you, you'll be so perturbed,
But now Shannon needs, a real man,
Because Boone's her stepbrother and Sayid is doing what he can,
So Sawyer! Give Sayid that inhaler!
SAYID: Yes give me the inhaler!
SAWYER: Never, you anthrax-mailer!
SAYID: Sawyer, I've got a lot to show-
SAWYER: You can break my arm, but don't tase me bro!
SAYID: SAWYER! GIVE ME THAT INHALEEEERRRRRRR…..
SAYWER: OW! Ok.
CHORUS: Hey!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey 'you all everybody'! Just read and review, please! :D
lola
DISCLAIMER: I'm not making fun of middle easterners, or American southerners. This is a parody, so it makes fun of everyone. I hope I'm not offending. If I am, please let me know.