"Wow."

Kiku thought that Heracles would never stop saying that. They had left the hospital a mere five minutes ago, and he had already said it three times. His enthrallment with every little detail of the outside was interesting to say the least and downright heartwarming at the most. It was as if everything was breathtaking, exciting, new. Maybe to him, it was. Kiku didn't ask. Instead he just pushed the wheelchair along the sidewalk, listened to the birds chirp, and watched Heracles's eyes light up at every new thing that seemingly amazed him with careful fascination.

Kiku didn't speak for what felt like an eternity. He was far too lost in his thoughts to come up with anything that resembled small talk –not that he had ever excelled in that department to begin with. His mind stirred with about a million questions that he felt would never have answers, a million statements he thought were best left unsaid, a million feelings he never knew existed. Finally, after phrasing and rephrasing it over and over again in his mind, Kiku came up with a single thing he would allow himself to say. "Did you have a job before coming here?"

Heracles continued to look side-to-side, seemingly intent on taking in absolutely everything in sight. "Yes, I did," he said. "I worked at an animal shelter."

"How fitting." Kiku figured he should have expected as much. Heracles did seem to be happiest when he was around animals. He tightened his grip on the worn handles and spoke without thinking it over first. "How about other than that? What else did you do before-" Kiku clamped his mouth shut. Where was he going with that? Certainly he could have found a better way to phrase such a question.

Heracles turned in his seat to meet Kiku's eyes, his hair falling over his shoulder as his tilted his head to the side. "You are asking what my life was like before someone told me it was ending."

The words sent a shockwave of pain through Kiku's chest. He realized that was in fact exactly what he had been trying to ask, but he would have never said it so bluntly. "Well, I suppose," he said quietly. Right after, he wondered why he suddenly felt so guilty. In an attempt to evict the feeling from his body, he attempted to steer the conversation in a lighter direction. "Do you have any hobbies?" 'Do'. Not 'did'. Kiku wanted to avoid using the past tense as much as possible.

He paused for a moment as if to think it over. "Yes," he said. "Aside from cats, I love philosophy. Especially Aristotle. I like architecture, too. I went to museums when I could afford it."

There was that dreaded past tense. Kiku tried to push it to the back of his mind, but ultimately failed. "You say it like you never will again."

From looking at the back of his head, Kiku could see Heracles shrug. "I have been through all of the ones in the area. I don't need to see them again." For a moment, there was no sound save for the wheels turning against the pavement and the leaves rustling in the breeze. "If there is one place I want to go again, it would be the shelter. There's a girl that works there- Lili. She is very nice."

Kiku felt his breath hitch and his hands clasp the handles even tighter. The sudden, intense feeling the clutched his chest was new and indescribable. "Oh." The word came out in a whisper. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"No," Heracles said immediately. "Just a friend. Almost like a little sister. I would want to go mostly to see the cats, anyway."

Just like that, the indescribable emotion rushed from Kiku's system. It almost felt like relief. How ridiculous. He shook his head as if to clear it, grateful that Heracles was facing the other way. "I see. Maybe you can some day," he finally managed to say. He supposed he had yet another goal.

"That would be very nice." Heracles stopped speaking for a long moment, made a small sound as if he had begun speaking but changed his mind, and then finally managed a full sentence. "Do you have a girlfriend, Kiku?"

Kiku felt his face flush and his pulse grow too quick. This was just embarrassing. At twenty-nine years old, he had never had any kind of romantic relationship to speak of, with a girl or otherwise. Back in high school and college, he had always been far too absorbed in his studies to even think about it. Right after, he dove headfirst into his work. "No, I do not."

"Oh." Heracles sounded faintly surprised. With that, the conversation was over. That was another thing about Heracles. He never pushed matters that didn't need to be pushed. Kiku was relieved.

There was another long pause as Kiku pushed the wheelchair through the nearly vacant sidewalk. He found that he was growing more and more relaxed with every step he took that brought him further from the hospital. As the looming, grey building gave way to fields of trees and quaint residential houses, he felt nothing but liberation. Finally, Heracles broke the silence. "You ask a lot about me, Kiku, but you haven't told me much about yourself. What do you do for fun?"

I work. Kiku blinked against the automatic thought, dumbfounded that was the first thing to pop into his mind. Was that really all he did these days? Was that all he had ever done? After his shock faded, Kiku was able to think back to his high school days and remember one thing he had genuinely enjoyed doing. "Photography." He omitted the fact that he hadn't actually picked up a camera in years. He also omitted the fact that he had spent nearly all his little free time reading comics, and when he had time, still did. It seemed far too juvenile to mention.

"Do you ever take pictures of cats?" asked Heracles. Kiku almost smiled. Heracles may have a wide range of interests, but they always seemed to get back to this.

"No, I do not believe so," he said. Then he thought for a moment; tried to remember where he had stashed that old camera… "Maybe I will soon." He said it half as a response, and half because he was thinking out-loud.

"What do you take pictures of, then?"

Kiku quickly realized he barely remembered. Had it really been that long? "Silly things," he said finally, relying on only a few faint memories. He sparsely recalled photographing trees, flowers. He had always enjoyed taking pictures, but none of them were particularly exciting or innovative. He never even showed them to anyone. "Things in nature. They were never very good."

"I bet they are very good. I do not think they would be silly, either," Heracles said. He paused, and then continued softly. "Aristotle once said that nature does nothing uselessly. Did you know that, Kiku?"

"No, I did not," said Kiku. At first he found the statement irrelevant, but the more he thought about it, the more it seemed to go right along with what they were talking about. Maybe his pictures weren't as trivial as he once thought they were. Before he could give that idea much thought, however, he spotted the park in the distance. "There it is," he said, raising a hand to point.

Without warning, Heracles put his feet flat against the pavement, thus stopping Kiku from pushing the wheelchair. "That isn't too far."

Kiku's face went blank. "Well, yes, if you would let me push you-"

"Come around here for a moment."

"Is something wrong?" asked Kiku as he stepped in front of him. He wondered for a moment if Heracles was in pain. His worries were cut short when Heracles reached out and tugged on his hand. Taken off guard, Kiku stumbled, tripped and ultimately fell forward. It took a moment to register that he had landed on Heracles. He swore his body temperature doubled in an instant, and embarrassed flush setting in as though his face had caught fire. "S-sorry, I-"

Heracles looked unfazed, as if he had expected this. "Sit."

Kiku blinked, unable to even feel flustered due to his overpowering confusion. What was going on, here? More importantly, why was he not moving? "I do not think I understand."

"You've done this much work. My turn." Heracles did not give Kiku time to object, or even to fully register what he was about to do. After some struggle, he had managed to pull Kiku onto his lap, put his hands on the wheels, and manually propel the wheelchair forward.

Finally, it clicked. He was trying to give him a ride. "Heracles! What-"

"Hush."

Kiku did not bother to argue. He was far too busy being humiliated, or possibly guilty, perhaps concerned… really, it was an odd mix of the three. It wasn't until his initial discomfort with the odd positioning passed that he realized there was yet another emotion stirring beneath the three he was already feeling. He was unsure what to call it, but he knew it was instigated by the rising and falling of Heracles's chest against his back, the warmth of his skin that seemed to radiate through his soft white t-shirt, and his flyaway strands of hair that brushed the base of Kiku's neck. Whatever the feeling was, it made Kiku feel as if he could barely breathe.

"Are you comfortable?" asked Heracles, effectively breaking Kiku out of his thoughts.

Even though Kiku had to keep his legs at a strange angle to keep his feet from scraping against the ground and he had to grip the back of the chair somewhat awkwardly and his face was hot with embarrassment, he could not say that Heracles's lap was the least comfortable place he had ever been. "I am…fine," he said, immediately wondering if he had chosen the right word. Not wanting to start overthinking things again, he added, "Are you?"

"Yes." Kiku noticed that Heracles said the word in a weak breath. The turning of the wheels slowed, then stopped abruptly the moment they reached the park's entrance. Kiku felt Heracles's body go limp seconds after, the way one would after running a long distance. He brought a hand to his chest, bowed his head, and the rising and falling of his chest grew more rapid. Kiku began to feel like something was wrong, and that suspicion was proved true when Heracles finally spoke again. When he did, he could barely be heard. "Can't…breathe…"

Kiku jumped to his feet in a panic when he was able to fully grasp what was happening. Propelling the chair forward as well as their combined weight must have been too much, Kiku should have known it would have been too much, why had he gone along with it? He realized with a jolt that he had neglected to bring any oxygen, or anything else for that matter. What had he been thinking? Where had his logic gone today? When Kiku realized he was helpless to stop this, all he could do was stammer. "Oh my god, Heracles, I am so sorry, I-"

He stopped speaking when Heracles reached out and grabbed his wrist, shaking his head. "No." That was all he could manage before he closed his eyes and concentrated on nothing but breathing, the pained expression on his face sending another anxiety-riddled, guilty shock through Kiku's veins. All he could do was stare at Heracles with wide eyes, watch him take gasping, desperate breaths of air, listen to the trembling in his inhales and feel his grip on his wrist tighten. After what felt to be about fifty years of watching him suffer, Heracles caught his breath and released Kiku's wrist.

"Heracles…" whispered Kiku. He blinked away his shock, ignored the now-familiar sinking feeling in his chest and dissolved into a mess of unthinking words. "I am so sorry. Are you all right? I was unprepared, I should have brought oxygen…oh, did I even give you your medication? I didn't! Goodness, I-"

He stopped only when Heracles took his wrist again, causing his breath to hitch in surprise and his chest to tighten. "Kiku. It was just a spell. It has happened before." He paused to take another long breath, and then smiled slightly. "You should relax."

"But…" I feel responsible. Kiku trailed off, pulled his hand away and stared at his shoes. He had dealt with heart failure patients before; he had seen this kind of thing happen. Why was it only now that seeing it was hitting him like a ton of bricks? He felt so… helpless. "I apologize." In the end, reverting back to that habit was all he could do.

Heracles tilted his head to the side, his expression now blank and unreadable. "It's over now. I am fine," he said. "Let's just enjoy the scenery."

Guilt continued to course through Kiku's blood, but after looking around the park, he decided that enjoying the outside didn't sound too bad. The sky was dotted with white clouds, the air was light and mild, and patches of colorful flowers were scattered across the green field. Since it was early in the morning on a weekday, they were the only ones there. It was the kind of thing he would have loved to photograph. "That sounds like a good idea."

Heracles turned his head and looked in the direction of a large tree. "We can sit over there, if you would like. I always loved sitting under trees."

Kiku nodded, took the handles of the chair again, and started off in the direction of the tree. The silence that fell between them felt natural, and Kiku felt no need to fill it with small talk that he would only struggle through. Heracles keep his gaze fixed high, his eyes wide in fascination as the clouds floated past the high branches of the smaller trees in the area. In that moment, Kiku wished he still carried a camera everywhere. Never mind the scenery. He wanted to capture Heracles's expression, free of pain, full of wonder …and keep it forever. It was just about the purest thing he had ever seen.

He wanted to keep it for the days when it no longer existed.

Once the thought passed through his mind, he quickly shoved it to the back of his thoughts. He would cross that bridge when they came to it. When he stopped pushing the wheelchair, Heracles got out immediately as if he could not stand being in it. He sat down on the ground, propping himself up on his arms. Kiku did not realize he was staring, his mind blank and his eyes unseeing, until Heracles met his gaze. "Sit down, Kiku. It is very nice in the shade."

Kiku wondered for a brief second if he should, worrying he would get his scrubs dirty, but ultimately allowed the anxieties to breeze past him. The shade did look nice. He sat down next to Heracles with only a bit of hesitance, brought his knees to his chest, and looked into the sky. It was so blue, so endless. The clouds seemed to pile on top of each other like white icing on a cake. This time, it was Kiku who said, "Wow." Did the sky always look like this?

Heracles must have noticed his fascination. "In Greek mythology, cloud nymphs are called Nephelai. They nourished the earth."

"Oh. That is interesting." Kiku could not say that he knew that before. Though the fact seemed fairly insignificant, Heracles said it with such passion…it was more emotion than he had ever heard in his voice. "How do you know all these things?"

"Before I got sick, I went to college. I took classes on mythology and philosophy." When Heracles's arms began to tremble under his weight, he laid flat on his back. "My major was actually pre-med, though. I wanted to be a vet. But then I started getting really tired all the time. I couldn't study, because I was always sleeping. I had to drop out." He rolled over on his side, now facing Kiku. From that position, he attempted something that was nearly a shrug. "Now, here I am."

Kiku felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. He was not sure what kind of response he had been expecting, but he was fairly sure it wasn't that. "I'm…sorry." He closed his eyes briefly when he realized what he had just said. Sorry seemed much too hollow, too disposable for something like this. There was no words- not in English, not in Japanese, or any other language in the living world- that could fix this. Nothing could fix this. Kiku let his emotions speak for him. "Are you alright?"

Heracles blinked. "Yes. Why would I not be?"

Kiku was sure he had heard that wrong. Why would he not be all right? A better question would be how could he be anything other than awful. "Well…" But he did not finish. He simply did not have the heart.

"I'm here with you. That makes things alright."

The air in Kiku's lungs was suddenly gone. He wondered what he had done to merit such a statement. After all, all he had done was his job…and recently, he had not even been doing it well. "I have barely done anything."

"Yes, you have." Heracles knitted his brows together, a faint stitch of confusion passing over his face. "You treat me like a person."

Now, it was Kiku's turn to be confused. "That is what you are. What else would I treat you like?"

Heracles turned onto his back, folded his arms under his head, and stayed quiet for a long moment. When he finally spoke, he sounded flat, detached. "Most people treat me like someone who has already died."

Kiku felt as though the blood in his veins had frozen. His stomach dropped to his feet, his gaze fell to the grass beneath him, and his hands balled into fists at his knees. He could barely stand to even look in Heracles's direction anymore. After a long, painful silence, all he could do was whisper. "No," he said. "You are alive."

"I know," Heracles said softly. The words lingered between them until he lifted a hand and pointed upwards. "You should lay down. You can see the clouds better this way."

If anything, Kiku was thankful for the change of topic. He shifted onto his back, rested his head on the soft tufts of grass, folded his hands together on his chest and stared into the blue abyss. In a way, it brought back memories. "When I was young, I always tried to look for clouds that looked like other things."

"When you were young?" said Heracles, a faint smile tracing his lips. "I still do." He brushed the hair from his eyes, and a second later pointed up again. "Like that one. It looks just like a cat's face."

All Kiku saw were clouds that were shaped like…clouds. "You see cats in everything," he said. "Which one?"

"That one. Right there," said Heracles. Kiku just blinked. He did not see anything but fluffy white blobs. While deep in concentration, he felt something brush his hand. It took him a minute that Heracles was touching him; bringing the hand he had allowed to lay idle in the grass up into the open air. With their hands loosely joined, Heracles pointed again. "That one."

Kiku felt a dull, faint spark of energy run down his arm. In the past few days, he had experienced more physical contact with one person than he had in months –maybe even years. When he got over the odd feeling, he saw it: a mostly round cloud, the edges pulled up into small points. It did kind of look like a cat's face. "Oh," he said finally. "I see it."

Heracles did not release his hand. He only guided it farther to the left. "And that one looks like a rose."

Kiku was able to see the resemblance in that one, too. He searched the sky with his eyes, and he soon realized he was having trouble keeping them open. "That one looks like a dove." He let his hand slip out of Heracles's, finding he was too tired to keep it suspended. Maybe he needed to get more sleep.

Heracles twitched his head to the side in place of pointing. "And that one is a heart." The slow, deliberate way he said it was an indication that he had the same feelings of fatigue.

"A heart…" Kiku barely heard himself repeat the words. He allowed his eyes to drift shut, and he told himself he was only resting them. That was his intention, anyway. His hearing took over as his major sense, and he was able to focus on only the faint singing of a bird in the distance, the wind rustling the branches on the tree above them, and Heracles's steady breathing beside him. He had forgotten that relaxation like this was possible.

Before he slipped under the pull of his exhaustion, he thought for a moment that Heracles moved closer to him. But maybe he had imagined it.

To be continued..