Disclaimer ; I don't own Naruto.
Chapter 4 ; Sasuke Clause
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Under the glaring sun, despite it being winter, down the main street of Konoha ran the famous copy ninja Hatake Kakashi, being chased by the equally if not more famous Sasuke Uchiha.
"Stay back, I've only just managed to convince people I'm not your boy-toy." Yelled Kakashi desperately legging it away from the Uchiha, knocking over many people.
"Come back and take it like a man." This caused a few interested looks, but it was mainly passed of as the Uchiha's new found insanity.
"Stop saying things like that, you'll encourage the fan-girls." Bellowed Kakashi flinging an old lady out of his way.
The chase continued until Sasuke finally managed to capture Kakashi, Sadly for Kakashi he did so right in front of Anko.
"Playing hard to get, eh Kakashi ?" oddly she was holding a notebook.
"I'm not hard to get, no wait, I am hard to, no he's not getting any, no that's not right, he's getting some, no that's worse…" as Kakashi continued to ramble Anko turned her attention to Sasuke.
"So when did it start ?" this caused Kakashi to shut up and start giving Sasuke pleading looks, Sasuke smirked.
"He called it 'training', that was before the chunin exams." Kakashi gave out a wail, now everyone would think he was a paedophile too.
"How's Kakashi in bed ?" for some odd reason Kakashi wanted him to say 'the best I've ever had', egos, it seemed worked it mysterious ways, mysterious and stupid ways that is.
"Loud ." this earned another strangled wail from Kakashi, he also finally noticed the notebook.
"Why are you writing ? Stop writing ! I said stop the Fucking Writing !" Kakashi had now taken out a kunai to stop the writing.
"I'm writing a book, I'm gonna call it 'Student and Teacher ; Forbidden Love', don't worry, I'll credit you two." Said Anko walking off.
Kakashi had a rather simple thought running through his mind, 'MUST DESTROY NOTES'.
Sasuke was just running.
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Sasuke walked through Konoha in the direction of the Hokage's tower, where he would make another attempt to win over the fair Hinata, with Hanabi in tow, the wailing sound of a thousand birds following them.
Hanabi had managed to learn enough of the Chidori to create a semi Chidori, couldn't do a lot of damage but the sound effects where useful, they certainly cleared a street quickly.
Hanabi also discovered it had interesting effects on people, Naruto jumps 10 feet in the air, summons a Rasengan and attacks the first thing that moves.
Garaa of the sand screams like a girl and hides, it was the first thing that ever hurt him.
And Neji, Well Neji would tilt his head to the side, and after a few moments get a nose bleed.
After one such occasion he had barraged into one of Hiashi's meetings with the elders and demanded that Hiashi lock him in a tower and give a speech Neji had written to Konoha.
The speech had read 'I have locked my sexy beast of a nephew in a tower and challenge any brave hero, Sasuke Uchiha, insert large cough, to save him and have Hawt animalistic sex with him, insert maniacal laughter.'
The looks on the elders and Hiashi's faces were hilarious.
They had finally arrived at 'the north pole', a little set up where young children could meet 'Santa', it was ridiculously funny because on a drunken' whim Tsunade had declared that the Hyuga's would play Santa and his elfs.
This was why Neji was sitting on a candy cane throne with a little girl on his lap.
Sasuke however failed to notice as he had noticed Hinata in her rather revealing elf costume. This set of an interesting series of events.
Sasuke while staring at Hinata's legs had unconsciously formed Chidori.
The sight of which caused Neji to 'form' something in his pants that sure as hell wasn't Chidori.
This caused the girl to see 'Santa' magically make a present appear, so she grabbed it.
This caused Neji to moan.
This brought everyone's attention to Neji.
This didn't end well for Neji.
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After Neji had been tarred and feathered, Sasuke had stepped in as Santa, why ? because Hanabi had gotten Hinata to ask him.
As the first kid sat in his lap Sasuke began to wish he'd asked Hanabi about her plan.
"S-Santa, I w-was w-wondering if you couwd hewp me w-with a buwwy ?" asked a young boy of about 5.
"Have you tried fighting back ?" asked Sasuke.
"He's b-bigger than me, and t-too stwong." Said the boy, causing Sasuke to root through his bag, not the Santa bag, and pull out a pouch of Kunai.
"If you come to the Uchiha training grounds at 11a.m. tomorrow a friend of mine will show you how to use these." Giving the pouch to the boy, the crowd gAve a pleased sigh, this was a ninja village, and Sasuke made a deep impression on a member of the crowd.
No, not Hinata, Tsunade was the one he reached, she'd realised how many more ninja's she could get like this, Sasuke didn't know it but he'd just become Konoha's Santa for life.
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The 'north pole' was closing and from his throne Sasuke could see Hinata approaching him, only to trip over some chakra strings her younger sister was manipulating from behind a wall.
Before she could hit the ground however Sasuke had caught her.
Suddenly she looked up, turned beet red and started staring at the ground. Looking up Sasuke noticed there was some mistletoe above them.
"Why put that there, It's like there asking for paedophiles." Sasuke could hear Hanabi smack her head in the distance.
"Y-you don't h-have to." Came Hinata's soft voice.
"Oh hell no, I've worked to hard to give this up !" with that he pulled her into a fierce and heated kiss.
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Okay what ya think, we're not finished yet do, by the way I actually like Neji, torturing him just comes easy.
R&R