CHAPTER 4- AN ESCAPE ROUTE

We all watched in silence as Kakuzu walked back towards us.
"It's all clear. They seem pretty confident we won't get out." She sighed, Throwing her school bag over her shoulder.
"And what if they track our scent or something?" I asked, Tying my hair up in a pony-tail.
"That's why we 're splitting up, moron!" Itachi spoke as if she was above me.
"Watch your mouth." I hissed, and she gave me a bitter smirk.
I opened my mouth to yell, but Kakuzu cut me off.
"Do you WANT to lose your vocal chords? Both of you?" She barked, as we followed her silently through the underground corridor.
Kakuzu paused.
"Alright… Deidara, Sasori and Konan. Remember the procedures we went through?" She asked, handing Sasori and I various weaponry. (Deidara couldn't be trusted, considering she's gone all crazy on us.)

"Okay, so maybe this is some kind of practical joke." Konan suggested, folding her arms, and looking at Pein hopefully.
"No." None other than Tobi himself stepped out from the shadows.
"They are not Shinobi, Konan. They don't even have chakra. I do, truthfully believe they may be from a parallel world." He spoke, his voice darker and serious.
"Leader-sama! They got out!" Kisame ran into the room, looking out of breath.
"WHAT?" Pein shouted, enraged.
"They got out of the ropes, and ran off!" Kisame repeated, huffing.
Pein sighed irately.
"Go find them. We can't have them revealing our location. Bring them back, and for the love of ME, keep watch on them this time!" He spoke, as Konan and Kisame nodded, rushing out of the room.

We'd split up into different groups, and planned to meet up where we woke up.
The groups were as follows;

1) Itachi and Kisame
2) Deidara, Sasori and myself
3) Hidan and Kakuzu

Now, from what I know- Kisame used to do karate- plus Itachi had a mean bitch-slap.
But, honestly we didn't care what happened to her.
Deidara, Sasori and I? Well, we're all pretty much useless. Hell, I couldn't even swim.
So, we got a bunch of handy weapon supplies and Kakuzu's lecture on what to do in an emergency.
Hidan and Kakuzu? Well, both of their families are famous for their skill in martial arts. They'll survive. Trust me.

"What planet do you reckon she's on right now?" I muttered to Sasori as we both glanced back to our crazy blonde friend, who was still temporarily crazy.
Sasori snickered.
"Who knows. Hopefully she won't be back for a while." She muttered back.
I KNOW, we were being bitchy, but we're adolescent teenage GIRLS! It's our way of staying sane.
Okay, I wasn't THAT adolescent, but Sasori was.
I rest my case.
"Well, well. We found three of them Danna, hm." A male voice spoke from the tree's above us.
Now, Kakuzu had already instructed, that if we came into trouble, me as the oldest has to take responsibility for the others.
Sasori cowered behind me, whilst Deidara remained totally out of it.
"Deidara! What are you DOING? Get behind me, NOW!" I shouted to the blonde who was giggling like crazy.
"Well, you could at least buy me dinner first, un." The man spoke, jumping down with a redheaded boy that looked around 15.
"I wasn't talking to you…" I trailed off, my eyes widening.
He was the male mirror image of Deidara.
Deidara paused for a moment. Then stepped back in dismay.
"Wh-where am I?" She cried, moving back and staring up in horror at the man.
"She's back." Sasori let out a sigh of relief.
"A parallel dimension." She muttered in reply to herself.
Wait a second.
There was no fucking way…
"Who are you? Why are you in my head?" She screamed, falling to her knees.
We all stood in silence, exchanging looks as Deidara started giggling manically again.
"What's wrong with-"
"She's lost it." I answered the blonde man immediately.
"Oh, please." Sasori muttered, pushing past me and walking over to Deidara who was now, crying and laughing at the same time.
"GET UP." She snapped, as Deidara turned to her, with a terrified expression.
"B-but I-"
"GET UP, NOW." She barked again, looking scarier than I thought possible.
Deidara, raised her hand to wipe away her tears, but Sasori grabbed it in mid-air harshly, and pulled her to her feet.
"S-Sasori…" She stammered, her eyes wide.

What happened next was something I never expected from Sasori.

Deidara whimpered, and started sobbing.
Sasori clenched her fist, and slammed it violently into the blonde's face.
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" She screeched, as Deidara fell to the ground again.
"IF YOU DON'T STOP CRYING- I'll… I'LL KILL YOU!" She shouted, pulling out the craft knife Kakuzu gave her, and holding it above her head.
Deidara clamped her hands over her mouth to keep from making any more noise.
"STOP!" I shrieked, shaking in fear.
I was a wimp. I could never face death. Ever.
"What the HELL IS GOING ON, HM?" The blonde man shouted over the commotion.
"None of your business, brat." Sasori growled lowly, chucking her best threatening side-ways glance at the man.
"Danna. Let's just capture them and go already."

"Could these ropes be ANY tighter?" I whined, trying to wiggle out of the uncomfortable position, but failing and falling over on my side.
We were tied up again, but this time, from out feet to our necks.
Hidan and Itachi had their mouths duct-taped, and they knocked Deidara out cold.
Hopefully she'll wake up as one person.

"What do we do?" Sasori whispered, laying completely still "I'm so scared…"
Kakuzu said nothing, glaring holes into the floor.
"Kakuzu! Think of something please!" She begged, starting to cry.
I rolled around on the floor helplessly.
"HELP MEEEEHHH!" I cried, looking like I was having an epileptic fit on the floor.
Sasori sniffled and started giggling.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY! I'M SERIOUSLY STUCK!" I tried to stay serious, but choked on my laughter.
Even Kakuzu snickered.
"You look like you're on drugs or something!" Sasori managed between giggles.
I tried to kick my legs under the ropes, but couldn't.
Kakuzu was laughing her ass off by now.
"Sexy dance moves. Right here girlfriend." I spoke, doing 'the worm' but in this case, I looked more like a maggot.
"Stop it! Konan, please I'm gonna piss myself!" Sasori begged, still laughing uncontrollably.
"I should be a fricking cheerleader!" I breathed between my hysterical laughing fit.
"It's okay if I look like a maggot,
Let's all go and eat some carrots!
Then when we're all done with that,
Let's eat take-out and get really fat!"
I shouted, attempting to do cheerleader moves, but once again, failing.
"You couldn't rhyme if your life depended on it!" Kakuzu snorted.
"Do these ropes, like, make my butt look fat?" I asked in a really snooty tone, wiggling my butt in the air, as my friends couldn't stop their giggling.
"Oh, No way Neji! How could your gorgeous butt EVER look fat? It's MY butt that's SO big!" Sasori responded poshly, rolling over next to me.
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha! I'm a whorish bitch who does nothing but have lesbian make out sessions with Naruto." I called, watching Itachi's snickering.
The door burst open, and The pretty blonde man, and the red headed guy walked in.
"What are your names?" The red-head asked Kakuzu, ignoring everyone else completely.
"Isn't is common courtesy to introduce yourself before asking for someone's name?" she spoke.
"Speak, or I kill you." He reasoned, pulling out a weird knife and putting it to her throat.
"Let me go, and I'll speak" She said bravely,
She didn't even wince as he sliced her cheek with the knife.
"I don't care how much you cut me up, Hun. All you have to do, is cut a rope or two. I'm not leaving here without my friends, so don't worry." She spoke calmly.
Kakuzu always had a way with words. She's always calm and collected, and for some reason, she can draw anyone in with her sweet, sweet lies.
The guy, cut a rope, and she shrugged the whole lot of the restrictions off.
"My name is Kakuzu. This here is Konan, Kisame, Deidara, Itachi, Hidan, and Sasori." She spoke, pointing to each of us.
"So, we can safely assume you people are our female equivalents." He muttered.
Kakuzu shrugged.
"Well, what's your name?"
"My name is Akasuna No Sasori, and the brat here is Deidara." He spoke simply.
"EH? Are you telling me, THAT is ME?" Sasori shrieked, wide eyed.
Sasori-no-M (Male) turned to her, and crouched down to her.
"Well, I'll quiz you." He spoke in that rather annoying mono-tone of his.
"Birthday."
"November 8th"
"Hobby?"
"I-Uh… Well.." Sasori blushed, as Kakuzu and I exchanged amused glances.
"Extending my porcelain doll collection… My family has made them for generations…" She mumbled, looking to the side bashfully.
Sasori-no-M raised an eyebrow.
"Porcelain dolls creep me out, personally." I muttered.
"OH! So that's why you latch on to me whenever you sleep over!" Sasori realised, turning her head to me.
I went to retort something, but Sasori-no-M interrupted.
"What I'm curious to know, is why Konan is the only one who hasn't been gender-switched."
"She's uber-sexy! Is that not enough reason for you?" Sasori spoke, looking devastated.
He shook his head irately.
"Whatever."
Deidara-no-M removed Itachi, and Hidan's duct-tape, while Sasori-No-M cut our ropes.
"About fucking time." Hidan muttered.
"We're taking you to a hot spring for some dumb reason, un." Deidara-No-M spoke, kicking his female equivalent's unconscious form.
"A HOT SPRING?" I squeaked, looking back and forth between the men holding us captive.
"Please don't say we'll have to get naked in front of each other." Itachi groaned, as I subconsciously covered my hardly-existent chest.
"On a vote, we're letting you stay. We'll train you up and send you off to different villages as spies." Sasori-no-M shrugged.
Sasori and I fell to the ground clutching our stomachs.
"YEAH RIGHT! ME? Fight?" Sasori gasped, as we rolled around in hysterics.
"Sadly, they have a point. Konan can barely run in a straight line without tripping over herself, and Sasori's the biggest coward ever!" Itachi added.
Both me and Sasori glowered at her.
"Only Hidan, Kakuzu and possibly Kisame have any chance of being your henchmen." I sighed, turning back to Sasori-M (Yes, I got rid of the 'no')
He and Deidara-M were grinning evilly.
"Oh, don't worry. You'll be fighting in no time. We're VERY harsh teachers." Sasori-M almost snickered.
I gulped.

SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE!
R&R Please!