That night, I slip a long black jacket over my bare shoulders and leave the apartment with Christina and head to the cafeteria. Christina wears a pair of jeans and a tight-fitting black v-neck which shows more skin than I would ever have the courage to. She also wears her crimson lipstick, and black eyeliner, which she forced on me as well. I have to admit, we both look pretty good.
In the cafeteria, I see Tobias sitting with Tori and Harrison at one of the tables across the room from our normal seat. He smiles at me, and gives me a small nod, indicating that I should sit with Christina, Zeke, and Uriah. After a few moments, the room is full and everyone is seated. Tobias climbs onto the table he was sitting near and shouts, "Everyone, we have come to a decision!" I can barely hear his deep voice over the din, but slowly the crowd quiets down. About 30 seconds later, he repeats himself.
"The other leaders of Dauntless and I have made a decision," he says. "We have chosen to let each member of Dauntless decide for himself –"
"Or herself," Tori interrupts.
"Or herself," Tobias corrects, "whether or not he or she wants to leave the city. We have been told that Candor has made a similar decision, but those Candor who chose to leave will be forbidden to return. We will not make such a rash decision. Any Dauntless who decides to leave will forever be welcome back here at headquarters, although any new people met outside of the fence will not be welcomed. This is for the security of what we have here. I realize that lately there has not been very much security surrounding Dauntless headquarters, but Tori, Harrison, and I are working to resolve that. As for me…" Tobias's voice trails off.
My heart skips a beat. Has he already made a decision? If he decides to stay, we might never know what lies beyond the fence. By palms begin to sweat.
"As for me," Tobias continues, "I have not yet made a decision on whether to stay or go. That decision is not one I could make alone." From across the room, his eyes lock onto mine. "Tomorrow morning at ten o'clock, everyone will gather in the Pit, and those who have chosen to leave the city will all venture out together. This will not be your last chance to leave, but it may be your last chance to do so in relative safety. The Dauntless traitors still roam the city, and the factionless are both armed and completely out of Evelyn's control. I will see you all tomorrow." He climbs down from the table in silence as everyone begins to look around at one another. He walks swiftly over to me and sits down, locking his hand with mine.
Once the initial shock wears off, the Dauntless begin to shout at one another. Tobias and the other leaders have left them every freedom they could want, but still they shout about deciding by the morning, about the new leaders' capabilities, about anything they can.
"It seems like they just want something to complain about," Christina says.
"I think you guys made a great decision," Zeke says, clapping Tobias on the shoulder. "Dauntless freedom at its best."
"Harrison didn't think so," Tobias says. "Tori and I overruled him, but he thought the Candor had the right idea. He thought it would be dangerous to allow people to return."
Zeke shrugs. "And the Dauntless can't handle danger?"
"That's what we said," Tobias laughs. "Listen everyone, I've got something to discuss with Tris. I'll see you all in the morning, okay?"
Christina winks at me, a huge crimson grin spreading across her face and I roll my eyes and shake my head at her.
In the hallway, I stop and turn to Tobias.
"How can you even think about leaving? You're a leader now," I say.
"Only because you didn't want to be," he says. "You know they all would have voted for you."
"That's not the point. My point is," I say, "if we go, what will happen to Dauntless?"
"Harrison is staying behind. He already decided that much. And Tori is too weak to do any real traveling anyway. Dauntless would be fine," he says, brushing hair from my cheek with his fingertips. His voice suddenly low and soft, he asks, "Do you want to go?"
"More than anything," I say. "I need to go."
"I thought that Erudite need to know would make you say that," he laughs, and we walk toward his apartment.
He places a black duffel bag on his bed, and I help him to place everything he might need inside. I remind him to bring things like underwear and toothpaste, and he rolls his eyes at me. Tobias doesn't have very much to fill the bag with, which makes me think that somewhere inside him, the Abnegation way of life has stuck around. When we finish, we head up to my apartment. Christina meets us at the door.
"So you two are going, huh?" she asks. "I figured you would." She holds out an empty black bag almost identical to Tobias's. "Didn't think you were getting away from me that easily, did you? I grabbed you one too, Tris," she says, tossing me another bag.
We collect the items that Tobias had brought up for us, then take the elevator back down to the Pit to gather what things we had left in the dormitory.
"Why didn't we do this when we were downstairs before?" I ask. Tobias just shakes his head.
In the dormitory, Tobias sits on my old bed while Christina packs all of the clothes she can possibly fit into her bag, then uses extra space in mine for a third pair of shoes and her makeup box. I don't have that much, although she makes sure I pack the dress she made me buy during initiation. I have no idea why I would need a dress, but since Christina packed two, I don't ask.
"Christina," Tobias says, a solemn look on his face, "Candor isn't allowing any Dauntless to enter their headquarters right now. If you come with us, you might not be able to see your family again."
Christina pauses in the middle of stuffing another shoe into my bag. "I know," she says quietly. "I've thought it over. I love them, and I hope they think like me and choose to leave too, but I need to see what's out there. I can't live the rest of my life not knowing."
Tobias and I nod, understanding, and Christina gives up on trying to fit in a fourth pair of shoes.
"Chris, I only packed an extra pair of sneakers. What are you going to need stilettos for, anyway?" I say as I pull the black suede shoes back out of my bag. The heels are about as long as my hand, and sharp. I can only think of one good use for them.
She shrugs. "You never know."
I sigh, and zip my bag closed. Lifting it onto my good shoulder, I'm pretty sure it weighs about as much as a small elephant, but I don't complain. It feels good to put my muscles to some use. All of the activity has helped to keep me from thinking about this morning.
"Let's go back up to our apartment," I say, looking at Christina and Tobias. "We can leave with the group in the morning. Let's get some sleep."