Author's note:

As always, it all belongs to JKR. I own nothing.

HPHPHP

Children of the Flame Saga

Book III: Flame's Final Burning

Chapter IV

I Didn't Understand How

Late afternoon of Friday September 27th found Ron Weasley reclining on the couch in the sitting area of his girlfriend's suite trying to occupy his mind. A week after the Scrubbing Incident, as the DA had come to refer to it, he still had to be mindful of his side. His damn sister had caught him with a charm so powerful the top layer of his skin had been scoured away entirely. Still, with his head tipped back and his eyes closed he looked to be at peace.

Looks could be deceiving.

The first month of school had flown by in a never ending wave of revision, classes, revision, DA meetings, revision, Quidditch and, well, more revision. In between he squeezed in time in the lab with various of his five closest friends and did his absolute best to be a surrogate father to Saraphina. He hated to admit it, but the planner Hermione had helped him with was a lifesaver. He really disliked the structure of his days with everything rigidly scheduled, but knew that without it he'd already be so far behind it would take till Christmas to catch up. All of that would have been quite enough for most people to be going on with, but there were other concerns as well. The incident with Crabbe and Goyle only added to the rumors and accusations going around the school regarding Harry and Ginny. Of course the most prevalent being Ginny was pregnant. Time alone would disprove that easily enough. At least Ron hoped so. He was fairly certain his sister and best mate had only recently begun to do … that. Accusations that Ginny had used a love potion were also very popular. The Slytherins sneeringly expressed how impressed they were with his parents' ability to entrap a wealthy man to their pauper daughter and wanted to know what Dark Ritual had been used. Those and a hundred others were tossed about as reasons why Harry had deigned to marry his sister.

It was enough to boil his blood. Ginny might be his sister, but he could admit she was an attractive girl. He didn't even need to admit it. The sheer number of blokes he'd caught ogling her was evidence to the fact. And the girl was powerful; at times frighteningly so. No, she might have been poor, but Ron knew his sister was a catch. Even the rich pure-bloods would have overlooked her financial situation for the chance to bring her magic to their descendants; especially if they thought she might produce children at the rate her mother did. It was jealousy, plain and simple. Every barb and accusation directed at his sister was pure jealousy and it bloody ticked him off. He honestly didn't know how she, or Harry weren't burning half the school to a crisp because he and the twins were waging a three man campaign of revenge … Madam Pomfrey had been having a very busy term.

Of course the rumors dogging he and Hermione were hardly any less irritating. One couldn't just show up at school with a toddler and not expect to be the subject of rampant speculation. There were of course the nasty, horrid, rumors going around; everything from Saraphina being the product of his father's illicit affair with a muggle and Hermione was being forced to adopt her to protect the Weasley family name – as if the Weasley family name was particularly well thought of by the people spreading the rumor – to the idea that Saraphina was a muggle born witch whose bursts of accidental magic had so horrified her parents they had thrown her in a dumpster and left her for dead. Disgustingly, the true story was even more horrifying than that particular rumor. As usual, Hermione seemed able to simply ignore the rumors and associated filthy looks. He on the other hand … well, as already stated, Madam Pomfrey was having a very busy term.

And then there was the issue weighing most heavily on his mind; what Tonks called his Fury-Little-Condition. The memory of his first transformation seemed to have hardly faded, yet the approaching full moon relentlessly bore down on him. His memories of that first transformation were little more than pain. Pain and the loss of himself as the madness and bloodlust of the wolf took his will away. And then nothing. Nothing because Bill had stunned him; and then he'd been heavily sedated to keep him unconscious. The headache had taken two days to abate to the point where he didn't feel like vomiting.

From there recovery had been relatively quick and he'd felt perfectly fine till two days ago; a simple admonishment that it was disgusting when he talked with his mouth full. It wasn't anything he hadn't heard from his sister before but he'd gone off the deep end. The rage had come over him so quickly. And it had been evil; really and truly evil. He'd actually seen fear in Ginny's eyes before he restrained himself. Nor had he missed Harry surreptitiously retracting his wand when he'd backed away from his sister. Thank Merlin they'd been in Harry's and Ginny's suite and not the Great Hall.

Even after viewing Harry's memory of his transformation in a pensive, he had found it difficult to reconcile that he'd actually tried to kill Hermione that night. Some small part of his mind just didn't want to accept that she could be erased from his memory. Nearly attacking Ginny had finally made it set in. Once a month he would devolve into a mindless beast; incapable of telling friend from foe, sister from enemy … or even lover from, well he didn't know what. But when he did eventually have a lover, once a month he wouldn't know her. Worse than that though was the realization that his already short and nasty temper now bordered on downright evil. Two nights ago he'd started taking a very mild calming draught. Even so, as the moon grew fuller, he could still feel the rage creeping in now and again. He hadn't dared let himself be alone with Saraphina. He loved the girl, but she was barely three and could try Hermione's patience. Add in that she also was suffering as he was and it took very little to set her off. He dreaded to think what he could do to her in a moment of wolf-induced rage.

He'd been so sure a month ago. Or maybe he hadn't. Maybe his subconscious had doubted Hermione was right all along. Maybe that was why he'd insisted it be him and not her to attempt a blood adoption of Saraphina. Because that made perfect sense to him. If one of them was going to risk their future, it shouldn't be the girl who would likely be Minister of Magic some day. No, it'd be him; perfectly ordinary, average … him.

"She certainly didn't put up much of a fight," Ron grumbled softly. He sat up abruptly, forcing the rage of the wolf back. "This isn't Hermione's fault," he berated himself vehemently. A knock on the door snapped him from his thoughts and he rose to answer it.

"Wotcher, Ron," Tonks greeted him. She sported spiky blue and pink hair, wore a tee-shirt, emblazoned with the missive PUPPY LOVER, Muggle style cargo pants and her ever present dragon hide combat boots. She'd also painted her nails neon green and since he'd last seen her gotten her nose pierced.

"Hello, Ron," Professor Lupin said quietly. He was dressed as usual, in brown slacks, a white button down shirt and worn black loafers.

"Hi guys," Ron answered. "Come on in." He led them to the sitting area and flopped back down on the couch. "Hermione, Luna and Ginny are just finishing the potion and Harry and Neville are keeping Saraphina occupied." He'd no more than finished speaking when the three girls came in from the lab.

"Oh good," Hermione said. "I thought I heard you talking to someone."

"How are you, Professor?" Luna asked.

"Nice shirt," Ginny snorted at the same time.

"You like it?" Tonks asked. "He wouldn't let me wear the other one."

"Nymph," Remus warned.

"Dare I ask?" Ginny asked.

"DOIN' IT DOGGY STYLE," Tonks cackled gleefully. Hermione, and Ron turned scarlet. Ginny collapsed, cackling gleefully. Luna seemed to not react at all. Which, for her, was perfectly normal.

"I have to teach these people!" Remus bellowed.

"Phishh," she waved him off.

Harry came in, carrying Saraphina, with Neville trailing behind. He took one look at Ginny gasping for air on the floor and asked, "Dare I ask?"

"NO!" Ron, Hermione cried.

"I'll tell you later," Tonks said.

Harry suddenly suffered a coughing fit from the memory Ginny sent across their bond. "Can't understand why you'd put your foot down at that at all, Remus," he chuckled. "It's not like she'd be parading it around a school or anything … Oh, wait a second, this is a school, isn't it."

Remus shook his head and muttered, "There are days, Nymphadora."

She laughed and kissed his cheek. "You'd be bored without me."

He sighed. "Be that as it may do you think you might exercise a bit of decorum in front of my students?"

"Sure thing, Wolfie."

Remus took a deep breath, slowly let it out and went for a change of subject. "I understand you've managed to brew the potion correctly?"

"Yes," Hermione answered. "We took samples to Master Snape and Professor Ravenclaw earlier. They both said it appeared to be brewed correctly and only needed the Essence of Moon Lily added just before it was taken."

"Alright then, it's an early moonrise tonight so we'd best get to it." Hermione produced the phials from her robe and passed them to Remus and Ron. "Thank you," Remus said. He quickly poured the Essence of Moon Lily into the larger phial, waited for the reaction and downed the contents in one long pull, forcing himself not to gag once he'd finished.

Ron copied his actions. "That's horrible," he gasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said. "We don't dare try any adjustments for at least a couple months."

"It's fine," Ron assured her. "Better this than the alternative right, Remus?"

"Undoubtedly," he agreed.

Hermione added the last ingredient to Saraphina's dose and approached the girl. "No, no, no," she protested. Hermione tapped the phial with her wand then Saraphina's tummy. In a blink the phial was emptied of its contents. She set the phial down and took the girl from Harry. Saraphina immediately burrowed her head into Hermione's neck and stuck her fingers in her mouth.

"I really hope I did that right."

"Of course you did," Ron reassured her. "Oh man, that's nice," he sighed.

"What's nice?" Ginny asked.

"First time I haven't felt fidgety all day," Ron said.

"Me too," Remus agreed. "Seems you three might have done an exceedingly good job."

"Well, we did add one ingredient," Luna offered.

"WHAT!" Tonks rounded on her. "Are you insane?"

"Some people seem to think so," Luna answered.

Tonks rounded on Hermione and Ginny. "What did you do?" she demanded angrily.

"We didn't do anything!" Ginny said. "I have no idea what she's talking about."

Remus put his hand on Tonks' shoulder. "We haven't got much time. Will you please let me handle this?"

"Well get on with it," she growled. "It'd be a good thing to know if I'm going to have to stun you tonight, don't you think?"

Remus ignored her, remaining focused on Luna who was unconcernedly examining her fingernails. "Luna?"

"Yes?" she asked dreamily.

"You said you added something to the potion?"

"Oh yes," she said happily. "Lots and lots of it."

"Bloody hell," Tonks muttered under her breath.

"Would you mind telling us what you added?"

"Well Love of course. Mother used to make the most wonderful scones. I didn't understand how she did it then, but she always said they tasted so good because they were made with Love. But I understand it now and I'm pretty sure I did it right." Seven people stared at Luna, slowly wrapping their minds around the girl's latest missive.

Harry wrapped her tightly in his arms. "You're brilliant, Luna," he said. "Confusing as hell but brilliant."

Luna beamed at him. "Thank you, Harry. It's good to know I confuse someone besides myself sometimes."

Tonks shook her head painfully. "Right. Whatever. If someone could just lead the way, let's get this nightmare over with."

"Certainly," Luna said. She broke away from Harry and skipped over to the door to the courtyard.

"Girl is gonna send me round the twist," Ron muttered before following her out. The others trailed silently behind.

Ron stood a few feet back as Hermione pulled the steel gate closed on his cell. He tried not to flinch as it clanged shut. She seemed incapable of meeting his eyes as she set the locking spells. "Hey," he said, reaching through the bars to grab her arm. "This isn't your fault," he said when she looked up at him.

"I was wrong," she whispered.

"We made the decision together, Hermione."

"No," she said. "I made the decision. You saved me from myself."

"I still love you."

Hermione's eyes widened. "You're telling me that now?"

"I know I haven't said it before but it's true. I loved you before. I love you now. And I'll love you tomorrow, Hermione." She stared at him disbelievingly and was still struggling to respond when he added. "Take care of her first."

She stepped closer, intending to kiss him through the bars of his cage but he recoiled suddenly, bending over double before collapsing to the floor. His cries of pain were joined by those of Remus and Saraphina as his limbs contorted and changed. Less than a minute later a very large wolf lay panting on the ground. It came back to itself slowly and staggered to its feet where it weaved about drunkenly before it seemed to shake itself and find it's balance. Curiously it sniffed around the cage for a moment before moving to the door and inhaling deeply.

Hermione edged closer to the door and the wolf looked up at her. Tears slid down her face as his tail wagged and a soft whine escaped from him. "I'm so sorry, Ron," she whispered.

It was still dark when the moon set and three sleeping werewolves were suddenly thrown into mind numbing pain as they left the madness behind for their human form. The transformation had barely finished before Hermione was ripping open the door of Saraphina's cage. She scooped the whimpering girl into her arms and rocked her, gently whispering softly, "Mummy's here," over and over again.

Harry draped a blanket over the two. "Come on, let's get her to bed." They emerged from Saraphina's cell to find Ron and Remus leaning heavily against Ginny and Tonks.

"Alright?" Ron asked.

"Yes. You?" Hermione asked.

Ron shrugged. "Been worse."

"I agree," Remus said. "I dare say that was one of the better transformations I've had."

"How so?" Ginny asked.

"Better or not, you're still exhausted," Tonks interrupted. "She gently pulled Remus back to Hermione's suite. "We can talk after we've all had a nap."

Harry caught Ron's arm as he stumbled, nearly sending both he and Ginny to the ground. "Easy, mate," he said. "You can kip on our couch."

"Works for me," Ron gasped.

"Why don't we all have lunch together?" Ginny asked. "We'll come to your office if that's alright with you, Remus."

"That sounds good, Ginny," he agreed. In short order she had seen Remus and Tonks out and tucked Ron in on their couch.

"Thanks, sis," he said.

Ginny leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Get some rest, big brother."

"K."

Harry came in as she straightened. "How is he?"

"Already out."

"Sara was out before Hermione even set her down. Didn't take Hermione more than a few seconds to crash either."

"Good," Ginny said. "Why don't we leave the door open in case they need something."

"Probably a good idea," Harry agreed.

Ginny held her hand out. "Come to bed?"

Harry grinned and let her pull him along. "I thought you'd never ask."

About half an hour later, Hermione poked her head into Harry's and Ginny's sitting area. She debated a second before quickly collecting Saraphina from her bed and hurrying back to Harry's and Ginny's. Before she could change her mind she crossed over to Ron and gently shook him. "Ron," she hissed softly.

He bolted up. "Wha– Hermione?" he asked when he focused on her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She waved her wand, widening the couch and summoned another blanket from her suite. "Budge over a bit, will you?" He stared at her. "I want to be near you," she said.

Ron scooted over and she laid down with her back to his stomach, spooning Saraphina in front of her while he spooned behind her. His arm came around her waist, wrapping protectively over her and Saraphina. "I could get used to this," he said softly.

Hermione shifted, moving more tightly against him. "Did you mean it?" she whispered. She could feel his confusion in his body as he tried to figure what she meant and knew the moment he did. His hand came up to her face, turning her to him.

"Every word, Hermione."

She bit her lip nervously and hesitantly said, "We're still really young."

He considered her for a second before gently kissing her forehead. "I'll still be here when you're ready, Hermione," he said and settled back behind her again. He didn't say anything else and once again the events of the night caught up with him, dragging him into an exhausted sleep.

"I love you too, Ron," she thought. Five simple words. She'd said them to herself so many times she'd lost count. They were true too. But for some reason she couldn't say them aloud to him. Her highly logical mind knew her behavior was illogical. She hadn't thought twice about taking up the mantle of Mother. Logically, moving forward in her relationship with Ron shouldn't scare her … But it did. She'd come here, dragging her dead to the world daughter, because she needed to be near him. She was now sandwiched between them, for certain appearing to be daughter, mother and father, and was more confused than before she'd laid down with him. She'd wanted to feel this, try this – dare she say it … family – on and it felt good. More than that, it felt right. Yes, that was the word. So why was she terrified. Her logical mind couldn't provide an answer. Nor did that annoying voice in our head that we all have seem to have any thoughts on the subject. Normally this situation would have had her up till all hours before she fell into an exhausted sleep minutes before her alarm was due to go off. Tonight though, it was already the early hours of morning and while no answer itself came, sleep, blessedly, did.

HPHPHP

Author's note:

Conclusion: Luna just might be onto something.

As always, thank you to all my readers. And a special thank you to those who have reviewed. I do appreciate hearing from you.

Sorcerer's Muse