There is also a lot of going on, but this is also the chapter that pretty much lines out what will come the rest of the story. Though there is some surprises to come and it´s not as straight forward as it seems ;)
Not betat, so sorry for any mistakes since I´m not native English speaker.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, just playing with them.
Deacon
They stay in group hug for a while. Eventually Deacon is the first one to pull out. "I think that covered almost everything I needed to tell you. I just want to apologize once more going to see Frankie that night. I don´t know what I was thinking. I just wanted some explanation why he did it. But I admit it would have been better to do that only after the hearing was done, so I admit the timing was wrong. But what came to fighting, it was more on him. Since he started it while I was trying to walk away."
Rayna and Maddie just nod their heads. That part they have talked a lot before and have already decided to just let it go.
Deacon thinks for a while before adding one thing. "I just remembered something I think both of you need to know."
Both his girls are looking him now curiously. "What about?" Maddie asks when curiosity gets the best of her.
"The reason I got sober both times. It wasn´t exactly just Rayna like I have let people think, but more you Maddie." He states.
"What? How?" Rayna stutters. This is something she haven´t ever expected. `How in the first time, he didn´t know. ` She thinks.
Deacon just smiles to her nervousness. "Well I think you guess that latest time, since I had heard I was father and needed to be there for Maddie."
Both his girls nod to that. And Maddie encourages him to continue.
"As for the first time. The thing I think many doesn´t know is that I didn´t actually sobered up on fifth rehab." Deacon confesses one of his deepest secrets.
Rayna is horrified about this, how he had managed to keep that as a secret for all these years.
"Well, I should say I thought it was working until I got out and heard about Rayna having married someone else and having his baby. That bender lasted few weeks. I´m sorry Maddie that I lied to you about that night you were born. I just didn´t feel I could tell you that I don´t remember that time." Deacon says ashamed.
Maddie looks broken. "Why are you telling this now then?"
"I wanted you to know the whole story. I may have been mess when you were born and conceived for that matter, but just few weeks after you were born everything changed. I was walking around in little hangover one day and stumbled to newsstand. There was a magazine with you and your mama on the cover. At that moment I knew I really needed to get it straight for good if I wanted to be in your life in any capacity. And there was no way I could have missed it completely. I might not have known you were actually mine, but I felt so deep connection with you by just seeing your picture, that I knew I had to get to know you. At the time I just thought it was because of you being part of Ray, but now I know better. Something in me might have recognized something unconsciously. "Finally he got to tell this part, as bad as that falling of the wagon again was, this part is something he is proud of. "So I went back to that facility Ray had paid for me before. And that time I paid it myself and it really worked since the motivation came wholly from me."
Rayna
Rayna is stunned. Whether Deacon gets sober or not wasn´t really on her. He actually did get sober because of Maddie, even without knowing the truth. So he might have gotten sober if only she had told him the truth from the beginning. She felts like crying, but she couldn´t let herself do that now. It was on her; it has taken this long for them all to get together. But how she could have known then?
"I´m so sorry you two. Hearing all that just clarifies how big mistake I made when I hide the truth from you. But I couldn´t have known then." She sobs out, not being able to control her voice completely.
Deacon comes closer to her and takes her in embrace. "It´s ok Ray. I have already forgiven you. And it was best thing at the time. Do I wish you would have told me sooner? Of course I do, but it´s all good now."
When Deacon let´s her go, Maddie comes to hug her too. "I was so mad at you for that and I guess it was also a part of that whole emancipation decision. But now I know that people can make wrong choices when wanting to do something right. So I forgive you for real this time mom. I hope that you can forgive me too someday?"
"Oh baby girl, I already have. It´s the most important thing that you are back home. We just need to build our trust with each other again and I really mean all 3 of us." She breaths out relieved holding Maddie a little bit tighter. ´They have all really come a long way. ´She thinks.
When they sit down back on couch, Rayna realizes something. "I just realized why Maddie leaving put so big wedge between us." She starts.
Others look at her curiously.
"I haven´t even realized this before, but I think I have some of my feelings for you Deacon transferred to Maddie. When I had to made that decision to keep her a secret, I sort of lived forward with the knowledge that in her I kind of had you still with me. And obviously that haven´t really shifted back even when we got back together. I know it´s not fair to either of you. Maddie you shouldn´t have to live as being substitute for your dad and I shouldn´t circle my love for you Deacon through her, but love you each as you are." Rayna isn´t even sure she makes any sense now.
"I don´t know what to say baby." Deacon mutters perplexed.
Maddie just looks at her mom confused. "I don´t think I understand mom."
Rayna goes to take Maddie´s hand in hers. "I´m just trying to say that I should love you as you are and not because of who your dad is or who I want you to be. So I promise I try to learn to listen and see you as you from now on. And listen to what you really want even when it´s something I fear is too much for you."
"So you mean, you are learning to trust my judgement that I know what I do?" Maddie asks surprised.
Rayna nods. "Exactly, but you have to learn to also listen to our advice when it´s necessary, because we really could help you out."
"I promise. Thanks mom!" Maddie cries out and envelops her mom in tight hug.
Deacon interrupts their moment after he notices how much clock is. "Sorry to interrupt guys, but I just noticed it´s time to pick up Daphne from school. I can go to let you two have some alone time?"
Maddie shakes her head. "No dad! I think it´s better I go. You two have clearly more to still talk about. Plus, I want some time to think everything."
"Thanks sweet girl." Rayna says softly, impressed how thoughtful Maddie is.
After Maddie has left they sit back on the couch.
"I´m not sure I really understood what you meant, when you were talking about circling your love trough Maddie?" Deacon asks her.
"Well not literally, I guess. But what I meant was my love was split when I was pregnant with Maddie between you two and instead just loving Maddie as my daughter I mirrored some of my love for you to her." Rayna tries to explain.
Deacon nods. "Ok, I think I get it now. Somewhat understandable though I guess."
"Yeah, but not right. So I try to shift it on the right track from now on and love you each just as who you are." She says leaning in to him and kissing him deeply.
After pulling back she surprises even herself. "I don´t know where this idea came from, since I haven´t ever thought I would want this, but after all that talking it just feels like something I might want."
"What you are trying to say Ray?" Deacon interrupts her babbling like he does so many times when she goes too far off the mark.
She inhales deep before just blurting it out. "I think I would like to try for another baby."
"What?" Deacon is completely taken by that, he haven´t even thought it would be a possibility anymore.
"I just would like the chance to do it all right. Plus, I would really like to go through with it all with you by my side. I know that with my age it´s not probably easy if possible at all, but I would like to see what might happen." She explains.
"So you don´t mean really trying with any means necessary?" Deacon tries to get where she is coming from.
Rayna nods. "No, just stopping pills and letting then nature do its work whatever that will be. "
"I think I can be on board with that. And if baby comes I would be exited to get to experience all that, but wouldn´t be catastrophe either if not. We have it all good now." Deacon agrees.
"So it´s agreed then?" Rayna asks, little surprised how easily this conversation has gone.
"Yeah." He breaths out and leans to kiss her deeply. They don´t have a lot of time, but still end up making love before girls come back home, right there on the music room couch.
At that evening Rayna decides to skip taking her pills already, even though there isn´t much chance at this month anyways, since her pause week from those are already next week.
I know that baby thing has a different camps on favor or not. I just think it´s something that would be good for them, and Rayna being 45 it´s pretty much the last time to do it...