Part IV: Leave Your Hat On and Give Your Heart a Break
When Rose got home she shut the door behind her and leaned against the cool wood surface, trying to calm her breathing. She had faced the Queen, and nothing more had happened. For the first time since being in this new world, she felt elated, relieved. She could finally see the possibilities of this new life, starting fresh and perhaps finally finding a content happiness that had eluded her in her last life. Women in this age were powerful, in control of their destiny. She no longer had to worry about arranged engagements, being put on display at dances where intellectual conversation took a backseat to fashion and wealth. In this life a woman with a mind was considered perfectly normal, and just the thought brought a smile to her lips. Rose took a deep breath, her nerves settling. She could be whatever she wanted to be here.
Settled on the thought, she went to her small kitchen down the hall. She sat her purse on the counter, when there was knock at the door. Frowning, and a bit wary, she went to the door, looking through the small peephole to see who it was. She felt the air in her lungs rush out of her, and for a moment, she hesitated, not making a sound.
"I know your home dearie. Open the door."
Rose bit her lip, slowly undoing the latch and bolt lock before she opened the door. Mr. Gold stood on the porch, looking up at her. Though still dressed impeccably in a dark suite, he didn't look well. He looked haggard, his usually sharp attire seeming not quite as put together as it used to be. He lifted a ringed finger from the handle of his cane.
"May I come in?" He asked her, expecting. Almost like a challenge.
Rose felt her anger return to her, giving her strength. Tilting her head up, she turned away from the door, letting him come in and shut the door behind him. He looked around her apartment, noticing the humble surroundings, the subtle tones of brown that made the place feel a little more like home.
"Was there something you wanted to discuss?" Rose asked as she got a mug out of the cupboard to make herself a cup of tea.
"No, nothing in particular," He told her, seeming a bit on edge, "I've been doing a lot of thinking."
Slamming the cup onto the counter, she turned her him. "Why did you do it?" She asked him. "Why did you even bother getting me out?"
Somewhat caught off guard by the question, Mr. Gold quickly recovered himself.
"Sorry," Gold said bitterly, not asking how she had found out about his involvement in her release. "I thought I was doing you a favor."
She glared up at him, her gray eyes lethal and stormy, "The only favor for me you've ever done was to benefit your conscience."
He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. He hadn't meant to fight with her. He had set out to do something and he was already making a bungle of it. He hadn't been able to stand the last few weeks. He kept seeing her in his mind, in his thoughts. He kept seeing her, talking with other men. Laughing with them, allowing them to touch her. The thought had completely driven him mad. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stay away, nor could he seem to stop himself from becoming absolutely irritated with her.
"Belle," He said. That one word sounding both weary and impatient.
She finally looked at him then, really looked at him. His eyes intense on her face, but still unreadable.
A bit of time stretched between them, giving Rose a chance to think about what Emma had told her, what Henry had told her. "Why are you here?" She finally asked, barely above a whisper.
He hesitate,. "You see, I made a deal."
Rose felt her irritation spike. "That certainly isn't anything new" Rose asked, not looking at him again as she filled the mug with water and grabbing one of the tea bags from the box they came in. When would she ever learn? She thought to herself. Nothing about him had changed. He had never given her a chance to explain herself to him, never gave her a chance to be with him. Why did she continue to delude herself that in this life he would be any different.
"This is a deal that I have made with myself... a long time ago."
Trying to hide her interest, she looked over to him. "I have other things to do, I don't have time for your games."
She tried to sneak past him to grab her purse, but he grabbed her, and she found herself facing him, his brown eyes leveled with hers. He used to be taller than she when they had first known one another; it was strange how his bad leg changed him, made him seem more human.
"I made a vow, that should I ever have the chance, I would find you." He said, his voice level, husky, "and I would never, ever, let you go."
The dark intent in his eyes, the possessiveness within his voice sent a shiver to run down her spine. At the same time, she felt her temper boil, "I'm not yours, I was never yours to begin with."
He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. "Don't lie dearie."
She felt her cheeks warm, but she continued to look at him defiantly, "You didn't want me." She said, the words were hard to say, but she could see that they were as equally as hard for him to hear.
He knew he had hurt her, he knew that it would be an effort to get her back, but his feelings of frustration would still not abate at her stubbornness. He gritted his teeth, hesitant about what he was about to say.
"Alright, I'll make you a deal."
Sighing in disgust, she broke out of his hold and proceeded to walk away, "I'm sick and tired of your deals."
"Anything you want." He blurted, hating how vulnerable he was making himself, "I will do anything you want, as long as it gives me a chance to be with you."
She halted in her steps, slowly turning to him.
"It could take a measure of time, months...years." He nearly chocked on the last word, but he forced himself to go on, "As long as you want."
He couldn't read her expression, and he had this horrible feeling that he had just dug his own grave. She could string him along and then declare that she never wanted to see him again for the rest of this life. Perhaps she would simply use him and then leave him once she felt that his end of the bargain was met. He couldn't put anything past her or even blame her if she were treat him as such. There were too many loopholes in the contract and he cursed himself for not being more thorough.
Slowly, she walked over to him, smoothing her hands over the floral tiered peasant skirt she wore. The gesture reminded him of how she would usually do this if she were upset or nervous. "Anything?"
Rumpelstiltskin felt his mouth go dry, and he forced himself to swallow, "Anything."
She stood before him, placing one hand on the kitchen counter and leaning forward ever so slightly, "Tell me that you love me and mean every word."
He flinched as though he had been struck, and immediately, his frustration came back in full force.
"What?"
"Tell me..."
"I know what you said." He snapped, "I'm giving you the opportunity for anything."
"That's all I want." She said, waiting.
His face turned stony, "It makes no difference..."
"It makes a difference to me." She interjected, her eyes wide and expecting.
She had him in a corner, if he wasn't sincere then you could never say it. His feelings would be completely open, exposed and waiting to be hurt. She had yet to even tell him how she felt, it would be a bitter irony that he should be the first one to tell her how he felt without knowing that she felt the same way in return. He still had his doubts on whether or not she could ever even love him at all. How could she after everything he had done? The bargain was unstable, it was a risk. He couldn't even remember the last time he had taken one.
"Fine!" He growled, the words ripping through his throat. He grabbed her around the waist and she gasped as her body was pressed against his.
"I love you!" He hissed. Once the words were out, the anger, the pain of saying them, seemed to drain away, leaving him weak.
"I love you." He said when she simply stared at him, her eyes taking on that look she had had once their kiss had begun to break the curse, before he had rejected the curse from breaking. "I love you."
His cane clattered to the floor, his hand rising up to grip the back of her head, kissing her roughly. She kissed him back, there was no hesitation, no reservation. She was holding him tightly, her mouth moving over his, her lips reddening from the forceful contact of their mouths. This was nothing like the chaste kiss they had shared in the last world. This was heated, hungry, desperate. Belle felt heat pool in her stomach as she leaned into him, wanting more, needing more. They stumbled into the hallway, his back pressing to the wall, his hands running over her back, fervent, frantic as though she might suddenly disappear. He pushed back, her back now pressed to the opposite wall of the hallway. His hard body pressing into her soft curves, a groan escaping his throat as she opened her mouth to him, inviting, coaxing. As his tongue slipped into her mouth, stroking, her entire body shivered. Her fingers fluttered to the buttons of his jacket, suddenly shaking, nervous as she undid them. She hooked her thumbs on either side of the suite and eased it over his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He was wearing a black button up shirt, but she wanted to touch him, wanted to see him. Her fingers gripped the material, pulling the fabric from where it was tucked into his pants.
When he felt the cool touch of her hand on his stomach, he gasped, pulling away. He stayed her hands, nervousness tightening in his stomach, "What are you doing?"
She kissed his throat, breathing against his skin, "I'm through with waiting."
He felt fire scorch through his veins, burning through him. But he tried to tamper it down, he had to be rationale about this.
"We don't have to tonight. We can wait."
She looked up at him, clearly disgruntled, "Why?"
A burst of nervous laugher escaped him. He didn't know what to do, he felt like he should be more honorable, respect her. But truth be told, the only woman he had ever been with was Baelfire's mother. It had been awkward, nerve racking. She never had seemed to enjoy it so much, her body had been tense. She had always seemed distracted and uncomfortable.
Rose bit her lip, sensing some type of inner struggle he was having. She looked down, her cheeks reddening. Images flickered across her mind, images of people entwined, naked, caressing one another. When she had first discovered the exposure that television and the internet had provided, she had been shocked, mortified, always believing that such a thing was sacred and shouldn't be exploited so graphically. The only other side of it that she had ever known was that it was a marriage act that had to be endured. At the same time, Rose knew that things had changed. Women had more power here than she could ever conceive, and for the first time, that power wasn't condemned or looked down upon in society. It made her a woman.
"This is what I want." She looked up at him, her eyes serious, "I want you."
You could have had happiness if you had just believed that someone could want you. The words reverberated through him. She sensed it then, his usual mask of indifference beginning to slip back into place, but he was trying to not let it happen, trying not to reject her words. "I'm not as I once was," He told her, "I'm different here."
"That's true," She said, frowning as she reached up to touch the gray hair at his temples. "You're a bit more distinguished."
"That's a rather nice way of putting it dearie, but that's not what I meant."
Rose sighed in frustration. "I know." She said, still gripping the fabric of his shirt. She thought for a moment, what could she possibly do to convince him that she wanted him and no other?
"Nothing about you is simple." She told him honestly, "Even after everything that I have learned about you, all that I know, it only makes me want to know more. To discover every part of you, even the pieces of yourself that you hate so much."
He still looked skeptical, nervous. She kept thinking of how he had reacted before whenever he was scared, relying on his anger and sarcasm to hide any hurt or insecurity he felt. She remembered with vivid clarity how he had looked when he realized he was holding her in his arms, how he had nearly dropped her in his haste to let her go. He had tried to make the gesture seem like it was nothing in an effort to cover up how awkward he had felt about it. She remembered when he had offered her a rose, the carefree look he had given her as though his heart were not burdened by anything. When he had asked her to fetch straw from town.
I expect I'll never see you again.
How could she possibly ever explain how those moments had endeared him to her. She thought of all the people he had known, and all the people he had lost; the ones who had left him. How such hurt had made him reject her proclamation of love.
"This is just me," She told him, reassuring him in an effort to appease his nervousness. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going anywhere."
She swallowed nervously, her hands slightly trembling as she gripped the bottom of her white banded bottom blouse and slipped it up and over her head and let the garment fall to the floor, leaving her with only her nude bra that unclasped in the back. She didn't try to cover herself, wasn't trying to be modest or ashamed. A blush covered her face and neck as he looked at her, the sight of her stealing his breath away. When he made no move to touch her, she reached her hands up, unfastening the buttons of his dress shirt. Halfway through, she leaned forward, placing a kiss over his beating heart. She felt him shudder beneath her lips, and his reserve shattered. He reached his hands up, cradling her face as he kissed her. He ran his hands over her back, delighting in the soft warmth of her skin, groaning low in his throat when her body pressed to his.
They were suddenly in her room, he lifted his arms as she tugged his shirt up and over his head, not bothering to take the time to unbutton it more. He pulled on the strings of her peasant skirt while she went to work on his black leather belt, their lips still fused together. When the remaining articles of clothing were pooled on the floor by there feet, she looked up at him; grinning, eyes dark with lust and complete and utter happiness.
With a growl of pure possessiveness leaving his throat, he pulled her to him, his body shivering at the contact as he kissed her hungrily. They fell onto the bed, his nervousness stealing over him in an instant and then gone when he saw her looking up at him with neither fear or loathing, but with pure want and acceptance. He nudged her legs apart, heart hammering as he lowered himself into her. He stopped as soon as she tensed beneath him.
"What is it?"
She shook her head "No, it's nothing. Keep going, it will go away."
He frowned, "What are you..."
She sank her fingers into his hair, forcing him to look at her and her pure feminine frustration, "Don't you dare stop."
He smiled as she meshed her lips to his. Hating to deny her anything and yet still skeptical about hurting her, he rocked his hips against hers. A deep moan escaped from her throat, and her body started rising up to meet his, moving with him. He was nearly blinded by the pleasure of her body moving with his, never having felt anything like it before as she kissed him, ran her hands over him eagerly. She sighed as his rhythm quickened and she met him for each push. But then she did something that threw him off a bit. She pushed his shoulder, turning him over so that she was on top. At first he could only look at her as she stared down at him, biting her lip and smiling coyly as she started to ease her body over his, taking him inside herself. Rumpelstiltskin felt as though his eyes would roll back, the image of her riding him nearly finished him completely. She looked like a temptress, a fae set out to seduce him. Her body glowing in the dim light from the small lamp by the bedside, her dark hair falling over her face like a wayward nymph. He had never in any dream imagined that it would be like this, that it could be like this.
He leaned up, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her, relishing the feel of her body moving in his grasp as she took her pleasure from him. He touched her wherever he could reach, kissed whatever he could. Her breathing spiked as her movements quickened, grew more frantic, her breathing sawing in and out of her throat. He held her tight, moving with her as his heart pounded against his ribs. She suddenly went taut, a small whimper escaping her as she clutched him, her body trembling. Rumplstiltikin didn't have enough time to think about what had happened, in that instant, his own climax took him over the edge. He held her close, a guttural cry coming through his clenched teeth, his body shaking as it spent itself inside of her.
...
The next morning, Mr. Gold was getting dressed, grabbing his clothes and slipping them back on. Grabbing his shoes, he sat down on the edge of the bed to put them on. The shift of the bed caused Rose to waken.
"Where are you going?" Rose mumbled, her mind still foggy with sleep.
"There's something I have to do."
She was suddenly fully awake, fear and trepidation making it hard for her to breath. She suddenly had a horrible feeling that she could lose him. They were so fragile in this world, another car could lose control, another lifetime stolen when she had finally found him again. She knew what he was setting out to do. This was his chance to fight for her, and yet she found that she didn't want him to if it meant he could possibly get hurt. "No." She chocked, reaching out to him.
He saw her then, the look of terror in her eyes and he was beside her in an instant. He had noticed the scars last night, the ones that were not visible on the inside of her wrists. She had marks running down the right side of her back and over her thigh. Scars that could very well be from a car accident, or even from the torture of purification. That thought is what had sent him into action with the full intent of confronting Regina.
"You don't have to do this." She told him, "She never has to know."
He lifted up a hand to run a thumb over her cheekbone, "We can't hide this dearie." He felt his heart thud at the image she made, her hair rumpled and the sheets wrapped around her naked body. "I don't think I could even if I tried."
She sighed as well, leaning forward so that her forehead rested against his chest, "Nor I." She admitted. "But I cannot bear it...if something should happen to you."
A feeling of complete warmth settled into his stomach, here he was, trying to set his fear aside and fight for her; play the role of hero. And she was telling him not to. He knew that she had never seen the full extent of the curse he had created, it had not been finished when she had been staying with him, and he had not intended to ever finish it. It wasn't until he had found out that she had died, that he had lost her forever; that was when he had completed the curse. At that point, nothing else had mattered whether there was a world of happy endings or none. The worst ending he could have possibly imagined for himself had already happened. But now she was here, she was his. He would be damned if he ever allowed it to be otherwise.
He gripped her hands tightly in his, his eyes deadly serious, "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'm not going anywhere." He assured her, "I swear to you."
"I love you." She blurted, unable to keep the words from falling from her lips, "I love you."
He smiled, "I know dearie." He knew, and he believed her.
He kissed her then, fierce, quick, too quick, but she felt it. Felt the sincerity of his words. There was something he had to do, but his words felt powerful, binding them together. They would no longer live in fear over losing one another. Neither one of them had expected to have this second chance; they would fight to keep it.
...
Mr. Gold frowned, baffled and repulsed by what he had just heard. "You let her remember her other life?"
Regina smiled. They were in the main office of her home, she leaning against the front of her desk while he stood near the entrance of the room. "You caused her a worse life then I ever could come up with on my own. It seemed fitting that I should let her remember, letting her suffer with the knowledge that she had no idea what kind of life she had here, only thinking about the pain that you inflicted on her."
"Regina." He said, rage lacing the word, "Enough."
"I'm not even close to being finished." Regina said as she pushed away from the desk and circled to the other side, "I spoke with her last night, interesting girl, a bit odd. But she definitely has spirit. I can admire that in a woman. I see why you liked her, it's hard to hate someone so annoyingly naive. Always seeing the good in everyone. I plan on reintroducing her to her fiancé she had long ago. Figured I'll help her get a fresh start in this new life of hers. You don't mind do you?"
"No, not at all." Regina paused, looking at him and she felt her skin prickle with unease, he was smiling, really smiling. Not smirking.
"What?" She said, hating the feeling that she was missing something.
"Feel free to help her adjust as much as you like." He said coming closer, but his smile never faltered, "Although, you might want to rethink a few of you're tactics."
Regina paled and she looked him over as though seeing him for the first time as he leaned his hip against the front of her desk. "No." She growled.
"Yes." Mr. Gold shot back, grinning.
A look of repulsion marred her features, "With you?" She made a sound of disgust as she came back around to the front of the desk. "Poor thing, I would have thought she'd have better taste than that."
"Well, we all have our preferences."
"Don't get so cocky. This isn't some fantasy, the happy ending doesn't start just because you bedded the girl."
"No of course not, I think we both know that meaningless affairs, don't tend to work out as well as we had hoped."
She shifted, her posture like a lethal predator ready to spring, "Alright," She said tensely, "You might have won this one, but sooner or later it's all going to fall apart. All you've done is given me another opportunity to crush you under my heel."
"I wouldn't go that far Madam Mayor. I have something to protect, just as much as you do."
"What are you talking about?"
His look was patient, knowing. "I'm talking about your son, of course."
She straightened, instantly wary, "You have no power here."
"On the contrary Madam, I was the one who found him." He gave her a leveled look, "It would be a shame to let the authorities know what corners were cut in order for you to obtain him."
"You would just be hurting yourself. Your wealth, your status, all of that would be taken away from you." She said with self-assurance.
"Perhaps, but think about how many years it would then take for you to get Henry back. All that paperwork, every day allowing him to become older. Changing every day. Who knows, maybe while things are getting sorted out, someone else will be able to look after him."
The game was far from over, he knew that. She was furious, and for now, he had her in a corner. Neither of them would change, weather it was nine years or twenty-eight years. He had time, but she was tied to Henry. For now, they had an understanding. Henry and Belle were off limits, at least for the time being. That was all he really wanted. He knew she would protect what was hers, he knew that feeling all too well.
...
"You did what?" Mary asked in complete shock.
"Shush!" Rose hushed her as she looked around the diner. The moment she had walked in to meet Emma and Mary for lunch, she could do nothing to hide her happiness. Emma had all but looked at her, and the sheriff had given her a sly and knowing smile. It hadn't been long before Rose confessed what had happened.
Mary shook her head in bewilderment, hands placed flat on the table in front of her. "Will wonders never cease?" She whispered to no one in particular.
"What wonders?" Ruby asked, bringing over a pot of coffee.
Emma smirked as she scooped up a spoonful of clam chowder, "Rose has a boyfriend."
Rose wrinkled her nose, "Is that what he would be called now?"
"Sounds more like a lover." Ruby said.
"Have you guys even been on a date yet?" Mary asked.
Rose leaned back in her seat, unsure how things were going to be once Gold had spoken to Regina. Would they be able to have some peace or would Regina make sure that they could never have happiness? What would she do in order for them to not be together? The questions suddenly disintegrated, she found that she no longer cared what Regina did, or how she wasted her time in planning other people's destruction. They had found each other in two lifetimes, they would find each other again if they had to.
"Ahem," Ruby said, "First things first, whose the guy?"
Rose grinned mischievously.
"Mr. Gold." Emma supplied.
"Gold!" Ruby sputtered, nearly spilling the pot of coffee.
"Shush!" The three women told the promiscuous waitress.
"No way, I can't believe it." Ruby said a bit more quietly, "I mean, is he even a good lover?"
"Ruby!" Mary admonished as Rose felt her face turn bright red.
"Dammit," Ruby sighed when she saw Rose's reaction, "The man is filthy rich and he's a closet Casanova. I wish I would have thought of that sooner."
Rose gave the waitress a leveled look and Ruby raised her hand in surrender, "Don't worry, the guy still gives me the creeps. He's all yours."
There was a sound of disgust that came from one of the other tables and all four of them turned to look at Dr. Whale get up from his seat and throw down a tip atop of a folded newspaper.
"You got something to say?" Ruby said haughtily.
"I'm not ashamed to say it. Mr. Gold is a cold, ruthless excuse for a human being. Anyone who associates with him can't be much better." Dr. Whale said, giving them each a leveled look, his eyes momentarily fastening on Rose in condemnation. Rose met his gaze, refusing to back down. She had known that the judgment of others would be unavoidable because of her relationship with one of the most hated men in town, but she found that she no longer cared what other people thought, she never had.
"Dr. Whale." Gold said from behind the doctor, who turned around and suddenly looked a bit pale.
Gold gave him a cold smile, "Don't you owe me something?"
The doctor swallowed, "I promised you, I'll have the payment for the supplies back to you by next week."
"Good," Gold said, "See that you do."
He looked over to Rose, not even sparing a glance for the other ladies. He turned to the side, "Shall we my dear."
Exchanging a glance and a smile with Emma, Rose got up and wrapped her hand into the crook of his elbow that he had offered.
"You really shouldn't scare people like that." Rose admonished half-heartedly.
He smirked as they walked out of the diner, "It's what I do dearie. I see that you wasted no time in letting your friends know about us."
She gave him an unsure look as they walked along the sidewalk, "Are you terribly angry about that?"
He smiled at her reassuringly, "Not at all, though I do have one question."
They stopped for a moment at the sidewalk corner, his voice low, "What did you mean, with what you said last night. You seemed to have known something that I didn't."
Rose felt her face flush, she ducked her head a bit but did not hesitate in her answer, "Well, when one is curious about certain things, there are many recourses to find answers." She said matter-of-factly, as though they were talking about nothing more than the weather.
"I might have had certain expectation about what would happen." Rose explained, a blush rising into her cheeks, "Considering I have never been with anyone else."
His eyes widened, before a smile slowly spread over his mouth, an eyebrow lifting up, reminding her more of the side of him that was untamed and consisting of pure mischief. The look in his eyes was enough to cause her heart to pound within her chest.
"Well, then." He said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. "Perhaps I will have to accommodate and teach you a few things that you may not have learned."
She found herself trying to catch her breath, "I suppose we have all the time in the world for that."
"We could have forever." He offered her.
"Forever," She said, loving the sound of the word. How permanent it sounded, binding. Being bound to this man who had many layers, and who would always be a mystery to her.
"I like the sound of that." She admitted as he kissed her. She didn't delude herself that there would be many challenges ahead of them. The Evil Queen and her curse only being one of them. But for now, they were together. This was their second chance and that was more than she could have ever had hoped for.