"Sick of all the insincere, so I'm gonna give all my secrets away." ~OneRepublic
Nick's P.O.V.
"I should tell everyone else, shouldn't I?" I sighed as Claudia and I sat in my office a couple of days later.
"Nick if you're not ready, then-"
"Thanks, but I really probably should tell them. They have a right to know," I said.
"Should we ask everyone to meet us at the Home Office?"
"Yeah, sounds like a plan. I'll call Stephen. Would you mind calling Abby and asking her and Connor to come?"
"Of course not," she said, pulling out her mobile, dialing a number, and walking out in the hallway.
"Hey Stephen, it's Nick," I said when he answered the phone.
"I figured out it was you after the 'Hey Stephen' bit. That accent's pretty hard to miss. Anyways, what's up old man?"
"Old man?" I scoffed. "Keep in mind I'm only four years older than you."
"And I'm a lot prettier," he laughed, and I couldn't help but to laugh with him.
"Anyways, can you meet me and the rest of the team at the Home Office?" I asked.
"Sure, what's going on?"
"I'll explain when you get there," I said, hanging up.
"Connor and Abby are on their way," Claudia informed me.
"Good. Let's go," I said, grabbing my keys off the desk.
Connor's P.O.V.
"I wonder what's wrong," Abby said as walked into the Home Office.
Claudia had told us to meet up in Lester's office, so we cut through the main room and found his door already standing open. Stephen was leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest, and Lester was sitting in his desk chair, looking positively bored.
"Oh wonderful, the circus has arrived," he said, folded his arms behind his head and leaning back in his chair.
"We could do without the sarcasm," Stephen replied.
"And I could do without a group of dinosaur chasing dimwits cramping my office, but we can't always have what we want," Lester said dryly.
"Thanks for meeting us here, everyone," Claudia said as she came in with Nick at her heels.
"Of course. What's wrong?" Abby asked, looking at Nick worriedly, who was looking slightly pale.
"We have something we need to tell all of you," he said, his voice low and serious.
"While I would rather throw myself off the roof of this building than be here talking to all of you idiots, you have our attention, so go ahead and inform us," Lester sighed.
"I know that you all want an explanation for why I've been behaving a bit oddly lately," he began, cracking his knuckles.
"Stop, I hate when you do that," Claudia scolded, pulling his hands apart.
"Sorry," he laughed, and then continued, becoming serious again, "I'm sick," he said, staring down at his shoes.
"Oh please tell me you didn't round us all up just so you could whine at us," Lester said just as I said "What do you mean, Professor?"
"I don't mean I have the flu or a head cold," Nick said, and Claudia rested her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Seeming to draw strength from her simple gesture, he continued on. "I have…cancer," he finally said.
"Cancer?" I repeated quietly, feeling my little world go to pieces.
"Yes, cancer. It may or may not be fatal," he explained.
"No. No, it can't be fatal. You can't die," I said, trembling.
My head spun with denial, and suddenly it was like losing Tom all over again. Nick was like the father I'd never had. My own father had never approved of my dreams and my love of computers and software programs. He'd thought I was a wimp. Nick, though, had been with me every step of the way. When I'd wanted to quit everything that had to do with the anomalies after Tom had died, he had reassured me how much the team needed me. I needed Nick. We all did. He gave the team wisdom and guidance, and he kept us straight. We wouldn't even be able to function the same way without him.
"They don't know yet. They won't be able to tell if the surgery helped at all until I either get better or worse," he said, and I felt tears come to my eyes. I blinked, but the tears still clung to my lashes.
"There has to be something we can do," Stephen said, the logic in his tone flawed by the trembling in his voice. For the first time since I'd known him, the strong, stoic man looked broken and afraid.
Stephen's P.O.V.
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I could barely speak.
I tried to still my trembling body, but it still shook on its own accord. Nick had been my best friend, my teacher, the one I confided in for years. He was my balance, the one that kept me grounded. He was the one I turned to, the one I trusted more than anyone else. I would lay my very life down for the man, but I couldn't even process the thought of not being able to protect him from something.
It was what I did; I protected people. I kept them safe, I put my life on the line to make sure everyone came out alive. I had long since dedicated my life to the anomalies and protecting people from the harm they caused, and it made me feel weak and powerless not to be able to protect Nick from this. I would take it from him if it was at all possible.
I stared blankly as Nick pulled Connor into a tight embrace just as he had after Tom died, and I couldn't help but notice how bleary eyed Abby looked. It broke my heart even further to see the feisty, sassy, beautiful Abby reduced to tears, and I walked over and put my arm around her. She leaned into my side, crying into my shoulder. I looked over at Claudia, who's eyes were bright but didn't shed tears. I had a feeling, judging from the pained expression on her face, that she had shed plenty of tears already. Even Lester's expression was more closed off than usual.
I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together, but no one in the room seemed to be trying to hide their pain. Even Nick, who usually tried to remain closed off and focused no matter what, looked grieved and pained. He looked more worried for his team, though, than he did for himself.
"I need all of you to promise me that you're not going to treat me any differently," he said as he released a still trembling Connor.
"I promise," Connor said, nodding shakily.
We all agreed to treat him the same, but deep down I knew that things would never be completely as they had been. No matter what, we would all have that nagging feeling of How long does he have left?
Claudia's P.O.V.
"Let's get something to eat on the way home. I'm starved," Nick said as we walked out of the Home Office. The team had slowly dispersed, all looking broken in their own way.
"I am too. I don't even think I've ate breakfast this morning," I said, trying to keep the conversation light and easy. I had promised not to treat him any differently, so that was what I was going to try to do.
"What do you fancy to eat?" he asked as we sat down in a small café.
"Anything that won't eat me first," I laughed, opening the menu.
We talked and laughed as we ate, falling into our usual routine of easy banter. At some point our fingers ended up interlaced on the table, and he made no move to pull away, so I left it be. I took reassurance in the warmth of his hand against mine. When we left, we still held hands as we walked back to the car. It felt simple and natural, a wonderful change from the day's events.
"Thanks for lunch," I said when he dropped me off at my flat.
"No problem," he smiled, and then leaned in and gave me a very gentle kiss on the cheek. It was soft and feather light, just a short brush of his lips against my skin. He smiled and left, and I found myself staring after him. They say you only live once, I thought, following him outside. There was something I needed to tell him. After confessing his illness to me, the least I could do was be honest about how I felt.
When I walked out onto the sidewalk, I found that he had already gone. Rain began falling, and I was quickly soaked from head to toe. I sighed and crossed my arms, too lost in thought to care about the wetness seeping through my clothes.
"I don't mind spending every day out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile, and she will be loved. She will be loved." ~Maroon 5
Author's Note:
Sorry for all the angst! I promise this story will have lighter, happier chapters soon, but I wanted to get some of the angst stuff out of the way first. This chapter is dedicated to Squabble, a constant reviewer and the author of "Survivors," a totally kick a** Primeval fiction you should definitely check out!
Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone!