Disclaimer: I do not own House or Once Upon a Time. Would love to, but I don't.

A/N: Yay, this chapter is all about House! And Wilson shows up! (= How much better could this get? Read on and see...enjoy!

Chapter Four

Princeton-Plainsboro

4:30 p.m.

This should be against the law, House thought bitterly as he contemplated the exact reason as to why he was walking-stratch that...limping-into work on his day off. The majority of it was due to his curiosity being peaked by Cameron's unexpected phone call.

Taking the bottle of Vicodin from his pocket, he paused at the elevator to pop two white pills in his mouth. Sharp pains shot up his leg at the mere memory of Cameron. At this rate, he would require plenty more Vicodin before the sun rose tomorrow morning.

"Wow. Never thought I'd see the day that Gregory House willingly walks into work on his day off," Wilson teased him lightly, brown eyes dancing with glee. House scrutinized him strangely. Wilson was practically bouncing on air.

"Either you just succeeded in getting another dying, crying cancer patient to sleep with you...or you're recently batting for the other team. I'm straight, by the way," House mocked his only friend.

Only Wilson could shrug the snide comments off like water on a duck. A sickeningly happy duck.

"House, despite your negative views and beliefs, there is nothing wrong with waking up in the morning and wanting to be happy," Wilson replied, arching his eyebrows.

"Wanting to be happy is one thing. Being happy is another." House jabbed at the elevator button insistently. Was the damn thing broken today or was God deliberately trying to make him miserable? God has a horrible sense of humor, he mused, tapping his cane impatiently. "Seriously, what's wrong with you?"

The number 4 above the elevator was dimly highlighted. With a low beep, it shifted to the number 3 and stayed there. Beside him, Wilson tilted his head upwards and shrugged.

"Believe it or not...nothing. I happen to have two tickets to the sold out monster truck rally," he announced enthusiastically and waited for a response from House. If he was searching for a sign of excitement, he would be disappointed. "Excellent seats and only worth-"

"Sorry, can't," House intercepted, kneading his fingers across his forehead. Another dull beep and the elevator had descended to the second floor.

Wilson had paused and was eyeing House oddly, almost sympathetically.

"That's it? I know you're not busy. You don't have any cases or girlfriends, for that matter. I also have it on good authority that you're broke, so no hookers. What other reason is there?"

"I'm going on vacation," House replied before his mind even decided to accept Cameron's case. What the hell was she even doing in Maine? "Can't this elevator move any faster? Some of us doctors have lives to save."

"Yes, most doctors here come into work wanting to save lives. You, House, only want to solve puzzles. Somehow I don't think God sees that as equally important," Wilson said, an amused grin on his face. "Where exactly are you planning on going?"

House sighed. There was no getting rid of Wilson on the best of days. This was not the best of days.

"Storybrooke, Maine. I hear the babes there are to die for," House offered, tapping his cane even more rapidly. Tap, tap, tap. If his leg wasn't killing him, he'd take his chances with his nemesis-the stairs.

Wilson's brow furrowed in confusion.

"House, you're going to Maine? What's in Maine that could possibly interest you?" Wilson questioned. House fought an internal battle. To tell Wilson or not to tell Wilson-that is the question.

"Oh, same old, same old. Boring case, Cameron, sick patient that needs curing," House ticked the items off on his fingers and prayed that Wilson would dismiss the second one. No such luck.

"Whoa, wait a minute. What was that?" Wilson's expression became one of shock and awe. His mouth was agape; to House, he could be the long lost twin of The Scream.

"When?" House feigned ignorance as the elevator finally reached the lobby, the silver doors sliding open noiselessly. Wilson stepped in front of House, blocking his path.

"Just then! What did you say?" House made a show of struggling to remember. Perhaps he could make the excuse that he fell down on his way here and had amnesia as a result. Would Wilson buy that?

"Sick patient?" House attempted to shift past Wilson, but the oncologist spread his arms wide.

"Before that."

"Boring case."

"Yes, but after that. House," Wilson warned him with his "serious" tone. House sighed with frustration.

"Oh, you mean the part about Cameron. She called me. Apparently, she's lonely and wants to...what's the phrase? Hook up," House sarcastically explained, using his good side to shove past Wilson.

End of conversation, he thought, only to be dismayed when Wilson stepped onto the elevator with him.

"See, the whole point of me getting on the elevator was so you'd get the hint and walk away." The doors closed and the elevator lurched upwards.

"Being your only friend allows me to outsmart your evil plans, House." Wilson casually folded his hands across his torso. "Cameron didn't call because she misses you. She hates you," Wilson bluntly pointed out.

"That's not my fault. Blame the Aussie," House mumbled, leaning more heavily on his cane.

"Yes, it is. House, you ruined her marriage. Her only chance of happiness was wasted. Moving...starting over is how she copes."

Normally, House tuned out Wilson's meaningful lectures but even he had to admit there was some truth there. Wasn't he the first to claim that Cameron was broken?

The elevator dinged-they had reached the desired floor. House stumbled out of the elevator, Wilson easily keeping up with him. House tossed him an annoyed glance.

"Don't you have a dying patient to comfort? Like, now?" Wilson drew in a long breath and stalled. House sensed he was not going to like Wilson's next words.

"Maybe...maybe it's a sign. You're running out of chances for happiness, House," Wilson told him.

The two walked in the direction of House's office. For once, House willed his team to have a case ready for his consideration, so as to avoid this subject indefinitely.

"Yes, God is telling me to jump into bed with my Australian colleague's ex-wife. Very subtle up there!" House exclaimed towards the heavens. Wilson rolled his brown eyes.

"Have you ever considered that there might be more to it than simply...jumping into bed? For instance, a relationship?" The pair paused at House's office door and House gripped the handle as a hint to Wilson. The message: go away.

"My relationship with Cameron-"

"Was nonexistent. You went on one date that ended in a disaster. And you kissed...once," Wilson reminded him. Those memories were better left untouched.

Wilson held up his hands in surrender.

"All I'm saying, House, is that it might not hurt to make an effort. Talk to her. Reconcile with her. For God's sake, jump into bed with her. Just...don't screw it up. Or you will end up alone."

It was one of Wilson's favorite lectures and the one that House despised the most.

"Enjoy your monster trucks...alone," House grumbled. Wilson chuckled and flashed the two tickets from his back pocket.

"Oh, I'm not going alone. I just wanted to see if you'd be interested. I already asked that day nurse, Natalie. Turns out, she said yes," Wilson stated, pumping his fist into the air for victory. House shook his head-typical Wilson.

His lackeys were sitting all cozy inside. As he entered the office, his team glanced up in disbelief.

"Yo, peeps. We're taking a road trip."

...

So House is going to Storybrooke!

How was that? By the way, I'd like to thank those that have given me reviews so far-I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

I am anticipating tomorrow's Once episode. Have you guys seen the sneak peeks for it? They are very good and now I am impatient for the episode! (-;