Ch. 4

Karen POV

I slam the door as hard as I could on Matt's face. I start balling my eyes out. Suddenly a pair of arms hugs me, and then I remember Foggy. He was here this whole time and he got to hear that entire conversation.

"Oh Foggy... I ummm...I am... so sorry you... had... to see that..." I wail while trying to form sentences. I see the broken mug on the floor; and cry. It was the mug Matt bought me for my birthday last year. It's a reminder of the shattered friendship we have.

In embarrassment, I grab the broom and begin sweeping my memories off the floor. The memories that mug possessed for me are now shattered literally, I shake as I try to sweep.

"Here I'll take care of it. I hate it when I drop things and they break," added Foggy. He was always so kind to me.

"I threw it at Matt's head. I just threw a mug at a blind guy."

"He's not blind... well he is but he can you know sense the mug's presence. It's not a big deal. He was being a jerk anyways, and I'm sorry about the kiss... I told him to make a move on you Karen. And clearly you weren't ready for that, so my bad. I just want my two friends to just get together and be happy already."

"You did what? Oh God Foggy... why? I mean I enjoyed it. But... we can never and will never happen."

"Look Karen, I know you have feelings for Matt."

"Can we pretend we aren't in middle school. You can say it Fog, I love Matt and I screwed up... and we aren't happening. We will never be a thing."

I look at Foggy and all I see is a smirk on that lawyer face of his. "Okay Nelson, what you are smiling about?"

"You finally admitted you love Matt. I mean I always knew, sort of. But it's nice to hear you say it."

I thought for a moment. And I think Foggy is the first person, I have ever admitted that to.

"You need to tell Matt."

"No I don't. It doesn't matter.. I don't matter Foggy..." I say choking up. God all I do is cry over this day and night. I'm tired of being a wreck and for what? The beautiful blind disaster.

"You do matter Karen. And maybe you don't see that now. But we, your friends, missed you and forgive you for being distant."

"Thanks Foggy." I am not sure what expression is on my face, happiness or confusion perhaps. But Foggy knows and hugs me anyways like he always does. He knows the truth and that's okay... at least one of them does.

I know deep down I will regret throwing that mug at Matt. I will regret kicking him out of my life a second time. I hate myself for it already. But he has bigger things to worry about than me, stupid little Karen Page with her stupid insignificant problems. I know I "matter" to Foggy and maybe even to Matt. But after I killed Wesley, I hardly mattered to myself. At some point I will need to find self acceptance again, but that is unlikely to happen anytime soon.

"Well, Karen thanks for breakfast. I need to go grocery shopping. You're welcome to come if you'd like. And I can clean up this mess," he says gesturing toward the dishes.

"No that's fine don't worry about it Fog." I pick up the dishes and bring them into the kitchen. I look at my fridge and see the space of emptiness where Matt had kissed me just an hour or so again. How I wanted to go back in time and relive that brief moment. All I see is the vast emptiness and it makes me sick. I needed to get out of my apartment fast.

"Foggy, I would love to go grocery shopping. Let me grab my coat."

On the way to the store I tell Foggy everything. I tell him about the email and how Matt came over at 2am. I tell him about Wesley's murder and Fisk being out. I tell him my life story...

"Karen, listen you are safe right now. You are out with a friend and a grocery chart. Seriously, what could happen?"

But before Foggy can ask anymore questions or say anything else, a man, I have never seen before points a gun into my back. I really should be used to this by now and knowing my luck these assholes work for Fisk. I wish I was scared, but I am numb.

"Karen Page, come quietly and we will spare your friend here." The mysterious man whispers.

I do as he says. I don't try to fight, I don't try to scream. I don't run.

"Karen, don't" says Foggy. Attempting to be brave, to stop me. We both know he isn't Matt when it comes to confrontation or fighting.

"Foggy, I'll be okay. Just go..." I say pushing Foggy away. He knows and I know there's no way out of this alive, except cooperation. The mystery man takes me to a large limo, and drives off. While in the car, a large bag is placed over my head and I am left alone.