Hello again, everyone!!! Guess what…I GOT MY HAIR COLORED!!! Sorry, I just had to tell someone. So anyway, while I was getting my foils in, I was planning past what I've written already, and I've realized that this story is going to take a more solemn and serious turn, so all of you looking for happy stuff, then I'm sorry to disappoint. I will have a few rays of "sunlight" but the story will mostly be dark and grey.

Remember, I love the fact that people read, and I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS!! C U on da flipside!

Chapter 4: The Heart Wants, Then Again The Heart Lies

Soda stayed silent. He continued to stare at the floor, looking completely lost. I took a seat next to him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sodapop, what did you say?" I asked him quietly.

"I said no," I felt my tense shoulders relax. Darry let out a sigh of relief. Steve, who all the while had sat silently, excused himself to go to the bathroom. Darry took the seat on the now vacant side of Soda.

"But you wanted to go, right?" Darry asked.

Soda nodded his head. "I really wanted to go, but somehow I knew that if I went, I would make the worst mistake of my life."

"Well, the heart wants, then again the heart lies," I said in barely more than a whisper. Both my brothers turned to look at me, their eyes wide.

"Where did that come from? That is exactly what I meant," Sodapop said to me.

"I wrote a poem this year for creative writing. It sort of fit the context."

"And you're exactly right," Soda said, putting more energy into his voice and jumping up from the couch. "Enough with this depressing stuff. Pony, go upstairs and show Darry his room. I'll go finish the dishes."

I grabbed the smaller of the two bags Darry had brought inside and lead the way up the stairs. I pointed out to him the bathroom, "my" room, and then his. I plopped Darry's bag down with a grunt, while he began getting his things in drawers.

"So Pony," Darry started. As always, he seemed a little awkward talking to me, "you're finally out of school."

"Yep," I said kinda lamely, "I'm all done."

Darry's eyes opened wide. "I didn't miss graduation, did I?"

Seeing my brother worried like this made me smile, just a little. "No Darry. It's Friday night," I said, "Soda's coming and you can too if you want."

Now it was my turn to feel awkward. Half of me felt that Darry wouldn't want to come, but the other half was saying that it would be polite to invite him.

When I looked up, I saw my bigger brother smiling. It was kinda unsettling seeing him smile, for any lines on his face were from previous stresses and frowns.

"Pony," he spoke kindly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world. I may have been the first Curtis to go to college, but you're the first to graduate! I couldn't be prouder," and with that he gave me a hug. "And Mom and Dad couldn't be either."

Now I would be the first to admit it. Over the years, Darry had become a lot softer. It probably had to do with the fact that as I got older, I started using my head more and I really began to appreciate everything my brother did for me. We saw eye-to-eye now (and I mean that figuratively because he's still a head and shoulders taller than me) and I think it made him softer.

But he usually wasn't this emotional. To tell the truth, it kind of unsettled me.

"Thank you, Darry. And what's with all the emotion?" I said, wriggling out of his hug and giving him a playful punch on the arm. "Are you going soft?"

Darry just rolled his eyes. "Is being mouthy something you're inflicted with? 'Cause you're still as bad as you were when you were younger."

"And I bet you're just as slow," I retorted, wagging my eyebrows. Darry shot a playful glare at me and before I knew it, I was running for dear life down the steep stairwell.

I realized that one thing I hadn't given up with maturing was my lack of coordination. I drew a lot of laughs as I tumbled on the lip of the carpet edge. Two pairs of hands grabbed my arms as both of my brothers hoisted me to my feet.

"Thanks," I muttered, slightly embarrassed.

As I watched them go to their predestined places in the small living room, I let a smile play on my face. While Darry grabbed the newspaper, and Soda and Steve began a card game, I wished with my whole being that life would stay like this: happy, fun, carefree, and well, perfect.

So yeah, this was a happy filler chapter. There may be a couple more of those, but I promise that soon enough there will be a drastic plot line, so readers, PREPARE YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K~A~W