Pokémon plays SPY Fox in Dry Cereal

You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about! You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your…

"We interrupt this dance to bring you breaking news," Baser said on a TV that May was watching. "The author has once again started the story incorrectly. We are sorry for the inconvenience. The story will now continue as planned. That is all."

The author played the hokey-pokey on the piano. Once she finished the song, the whole dang nabbed cast, consisting of Ash, Brock, Dawn, Drew, Gary, Max, May, Misty, Paul, and I, met together in Fortree somehow. Misty was dragging Ash because he was asleep, stubborn, and wouldn't get up no matter how hard anyone tried. Dawn and Paul were arguing.

"I think Pachirisu are completely useless, if it were mine; I would have released it the same minute I caught it!" exclaimed Paul. "And your Piplup is so weak, it couldn't scratch my Chimchar!"

"Strength isn't everything!" retorted Dawn. "My Pokémon are cute, and that's what I need to win contests. They're definitely strong enough to win a contest, and that's what I do! I'm a coordinator!"

"For a coordinator, you're uncoordinated!" replied Paul. "You're so clumsy, you could probably injure yourself writing a note! If you're smart enough to write, that is."

"I am so smart enough to write!" screeched Dawn. "I can read, write, spell, coordinate, do math, conduct a science experiment, and I know some Greek mythology!"

"Arghhh!" I screamed. "There are better ways to settle this argument, like a Pokémon battle!"

"We already had one. I won," bragged Paul.

"Humph," said Dawn.

"I don't mean against each other," I said. "I meant both of you against me. Whoever's Pokémon is the last one standing wins. Two Pokémon each for you two, and four for me."

"Fine. Chimchar, out now!" demanded Paul.

Dawn twirled around and exclaimed, "Let's go, Piplup!"

"Hmm… Chimchar and Piplup, huh?" I asked. "Going for the classic fire and water combo, then? Okay, now let's go Drew and Azumarill!"

"Did somebody say my name?" asked Drew, who was chatting with May, Max, Gary, and Brock.

"No, I named my male Roselia in the Sapphire video game Drew, after you, of course," I giggled. "I also have another Roselia in the same game, which I named May. I left them in the Pokémon day care for five flippin' minutes, and when I come back, they've grown three levels and laid an egg!"

"Chimchar, use flame wheel on Azumarill!" commanded Paul.

"Piplup, use bubble beam on Azumarill!" exclaimed Dawn.

"Drew, use magical leaf on Piplup!" I exclaimed. "Azumarill, use waterfall on Chimchar!"

"Piplup pihhh!" exclaimed Piplup as it was hit by the attack. It nearly fainted and its HP was red. Chimchar was also greatly weakened by the attack.

"Chimchar, use ember on Drew!" exclaimed Paul. Accidentally, it used ember on Drew the person. His clothes lit on fire and he stopped, dropped, and rolled. Unfortunately, his shirt was burned to tatters and his pants had a hole burned in them, which showed his slightly scorched Roselia-printed underpants. Everybody laughed, and I fixed his clothes with my uber-cool author powers.

"Chimchar, I MEANT ON DREW THE POKéMON!!!" screamed Paul at Chimchar. "Now use ember on Drew the Roselia!"

"Piplup, use pound on Azumarill!" requested Dawn. Both Drews fainted. I sweatdropped.

"Go, May! Use absorb on Piplup!" I commanded, making Piplup faint. "Azumarill, use Aqua Tail on Chimchar!"

Chimchar fainted. Dawn sent out Buneary and Paul sent out Torterra.

"Buneary! Use Ice beam on May!" exclaimed Dawn. Buneary used ice beam on May the person. She was now frozen in a block of ice carbonite, the stuff that Han Solo was stuck in during the end of episode five and the beginning of episode six. Drew, of course made it his first priority to crack her out of it. He continued doing so for the remainder of the battle.

Dawn sweatdropped and said gently, "No, Buneary. Try it again, this time on May the Pokémon."

Dawn's Buneary used Ice beam and managed to make May the Roselia faint. I sweatdropped.

"Torterra, use Giga Drain on Azumarill!" yelled Paul. Azumarill almost fainted, but managed to get up.

"Go, Staraptor, use Aerial ace on Torterra!" I belted. "Azumarill, go out with a bang and use waterfall on Buneary!"

"Buneary, use dizzy punch on Azumarill!" exclaimed Dawn, thus making Azumarill faint.

"Torterra, use Frenzy plant on Staraptor!" commanded Paul. Unfortunately, it missed.

"Staraptor, let's use Aerial ace again!" I demanded. Torterra fainted because it has double-weakness to flying-type attacks. Dawn was left alone in this.

"Um, Buneary, use ice beam!" she requested. However, it missed. I took advantage of this.

"Staraptor, use Brave bird to make Buneary faint!" I exclaimed. It really did make Buneary faint. Drew failed at fixing the carbonite. Dawn burst out in tears. She stole Paul's jacket-thing and bawled into it like a handkerchief. Paul realized the only way to get his jacket-thing back was to comfort her, so that's what he did.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" snored Ash. "Pancakes…"

Gary said, "Did you hear that there's a SPY Fox contest in La Rousse?"

"Of course," said Brock. "It's right in the handbook I have right here."

"Duh," I said. "I'm the one typing this thing up, remember?"

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" snored Ash. "Jango Fett…"

Jango Ketchum popped in suddenly and sprayed Ash with Awakening (the potion). Ash woke up.

"Why didn't I think of that?" asked Misty.

"May signed up for the contest," said Max. "And she got frozen."

"Well, that means you, Max, have to take the place of her," said Jango. The whole group dashed to La Rousse, with Drew and Jango lagging behind because carbonite blocks weigh over two hundred fifty pounds (250 lbs, 113 kilograms) including the weight of the person inside it.

When at last they reached La Rousse, they all signed up for the contest, which was being MC-ed by Joan and John. Both Joan and John tried to get May out of the carbonite, but they failed. Sara, Rei, Harley, and Esteban were also there. Esteban was wearing a Boba Fett costume, or at least what would have been a Boba Fett costume… if Boba Fett wore lime green armor with pink highlights.

"Artoo-Detoo, Where Are You?
We got some work to do now.
Artoo-Detoo, Where Are You?
We need some help from you now.
Come on Artoo, I see you
pretending you got a silver
But you're not fooling me
'cause I can see how you fix my ship.
You know we got a Dark Lord to defeat
So Artoo be ready for your act
[Artoo Uh-uh, Uh-uh
Don't hold back!
And Artoo if you come through your going to have yourself an oil bath!
That's a fact!
Artoo-Detoo, where are you
you're ready and you're willing
if we can count on you
Artoo, I know you'll fix my ship," sang Jango.

"Good song," said Joan. "Wanna hear mine?"

"Yes, please!" exclaimed Jango, John, and Max.

"Okay, I call it Everybody Bakes," said Joan. She sang to the tune of Nobody's Perfect by Hannah Montana, "Everybody makes a cake, Everybody has those days: 1, 2, 3, 4! Everybody makes a cake, Everybody has those days, Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about, Everybody gets that way, Everybody makes a cake, Everybody has those days, Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about, Everybody gets that way, Sometimes I'm using jam, I gotta make a plan, It might be crazy, I'll bake it anyway, The way to know to bake, I figure out a cake, I'm patching up the holes, But frosting overflows, If I'm not bakin' too well, Why be so hard on myself? Everyone bakes! Some are fakes! Again and again, 'Till I get it right, Everyone Bakes it! You live and you make it! And if I mess it up sometimes, Everyone Bakes! Sometimes I work a scheme, But then it flips on me; Doesn't turn out how I planned, Gets stuck in quicksand, The problem can be solved, Once I get involved, I try to be delicate, Then bake right into it,
But my creations are good, (Yeah, Yeah, Yeah) Sometimes just misunderstood, Everyone Bakes! Some are fakes! Again and again, 'Till I get it right, everyone bakes it! You live and you make it! And if I mess it up sometimes, Everyone Bakes! Some are fakes! I know in time I'll find a cake, everyone bakes!"

"That's long!" I exclaimed.

"You wrote it," accused Joan.

"True, true," I reasoned. "And it's only half over."

"It's contest time!" exclaimed John. We ran to the contest place.

"Get ready to start!" exclaimed Joan, clearly in a rush. They all scrambled to their computers and started the game.

"Go, go, go!" shrieked John. "We're under a time limit of three hours! GO, GO, GO!!!"

An hour later, Max finished the game because he is a huge fan of SPY Fox, has played all the SPY Fox games at least twenty times each, and even has matching SPY Fox screensaver and computer wallpaper. In honor of his sister, he said stuff in French to bother people.

"Drew, toi c'est démodé!" exclaimed Max. "Gary, toi c'est bon marche!" (Translation: Drew, you are unstylish. Gary, you are cheap.)

Drew was in the maze part of the game, and Max caused him to run off a dead end. Gary was ahead of that, so he wasn't affected much. Drew finished a half hour later. I was bored, so I put on the radio. It was playing Glamorous by Fergie, but the lyrics were mixed up. Drew and Max started break-dancing with Gary, who just finished. (The following lyrics are on the radio. Sung by YODA, ANAKIN, and OBI-WAN.) Max did the really cool spinning move.

YODA: If killed a Jedi you have; take your dark butt home! You say, if killed a Jedi you have; take your dark butt home!

ALL: J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S, We are J-E-D-I, J-E-D-I-S!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy! Have them code and lightsabers, those things mean everything! Tatooine and podracing, making do with Spartan things. I am on the TV screen, newspapers and magazines. I'm all clean, always pristine. I'm no king or a machine.

ANAKIN: I still married Padmé; She's the best I always say. I don't care, I'm still real, no matter how many Sith I kill. After the war and after the planning, I really wish I had a family, sippin' reminiscin' on the days when I went podracin'!

OBI-WAN: Flying with Anakin, up in the sky! Fighting evil, this isn't the life! Follow the code, I wish it would change, I'm a Jedi, with the flossy flossy!

I suddenly turned the radio off because the upcoming verses had a few curse words in it that aren't really curse words for us but are for Jedi (such as Sithspit and sai cha), but they were also words Jango would rather not hear.

When everyone was finished, which was two and a half hours later, Joan and John started announcing the winners. There were just two ribbons, the Slowpoke ribbon and the Speedy Shoes ribbon. The winners got medals.

"Third place for last person finished is Paul!" exclaimed Joan.

"Second place for last person finished is Dawn!" continued John.

"And first place for last person finished, with the Slowpoke Ribbon, is May, who didn't even start!" finished Joan.

John started again, "Third place for first person finished, with a weird-hair styler is Gary!"

"Second place for first person finished, with a sparkly green tutu and sparkly green ballet flats is Drew!" exclaimed Joan enthusiastically.

"Ugh, what a defective prize," said Drew pessimistically

"And first place, with a SPY Fox bedroom makeover and the Speedy Shoes Ribbon is Max!!!" completed John. Max was very, very, very happy. After the contest, Drew walked over to the carbonite that was May. He once again tried to take May out of it, but failed.

"Hey!" exclaimed Drew suddenly.

I said, "Hay is for horses."

"No! I meant that I found a decarbonization switch on the carbonite," said Drew, putting on a mask and flicking the switch. A green light flickered on and off the life system monitor screen. The case made a weird sound and the carbonite started to melt. Bright energy positively poured out the carbonite, and May's body fell forward on to the tiled floor.

Drew picked May up with ease and studied her a moment. She was wet, cold, and shaking all over.

He said, "Relax, you're free of the carbonite."

May opened her eyes and blindly reached for Drew's mask, which he realized he still had on. She missed, pulling his ear instead.

Drew winced and murmured, "You have hibernation sickness."

"I can't see," said May weakly. "Where am I?"

"Your sight will return in a couple of days. You're at the La Rousse game contest hall," answered Drew, gently moving May to a sitting position.

"Who are you?" asked May.

Removing the mask, Drew said, "Someone who loves you."

They kissed.

THE EN-

"WAIT!!!!" exclaimed Gary. "The story isn't over yet!!!"

"Yeah," agreed Brock. "You haven't seen what was happening with Ash, Misty, Brock, and Dawn!"

Okay, Gary and Brock. With Ash and Misty, Ash decided to drag Misty to the closest fast food place, where they declared undying love for each other. They went into a closet afterwards, and stayed there for a whole thirty seconds! With Dawn and Paul…

Dawn asked, "How come I never get any romantic moments like that?"

"Too bad," said Paul. He kissed her on the cheek and walked away into the sunset wearing a SPY Fox tuxedo.

The REAL End