CHAPTER 4

When she returned to her chambers, Gwen was there folding linens.

"Oh, good, you're back," she said. "It was getting dark, I was worried."

Morgana plastered a smile on her face. "You're so good to me, Gwen. What would I ever do without you?"

"Merlin stopped by with a message for you." She opened the wardrobe and starting putting things away.

"Oh?" Morgana tried not to let herself appear too interested.

"Arthur's invited you to dine with him tonight."

She rolled her eyes and removed her cloak. "Truly? How unlike him."

Gwen came over to take it from her and she noticed how intently her handmaiden was watching her.

"Perhaps he wishes to speak with you about something?" Gwen offered, hanging up the cloak.

Morgana sat down at her vanity and removed the clip from her hair, letting the long locks tumble past her shoulders. The release felt nice.

"Now what on earth could that be?" she replied. "Knowing Arthur, it can only be about two things – swords or idiocy. What could I possibly have to offer him on those topics?"

Gwen flinched ever so slightly that she almost missed it. Morgana stared at herself hard in the mirror, trying desperately not to laugh. Was everyone in this castle so ridiculously easy to toy with?

"I do not know, my Lady. Arthur might surprise you."

"Arthur surprises me every day. Without him, I would never know the depth of mankind's capability to make fool of themselves."

"What reply shall I give him?" Gwen said abruptly, coming to stand behind her. She had her hands clasped tightly in front of her and averted her gaze so she wouldn't see the mirror.

Suddenly, Morgana felt the urge to slap her across the face.

Instead, she smiled and turned around. "Oh, Gwen, surely you know I say the things I do in good fun."

She nodded tightly. "Of course, my Lady."

"Tell Arthur I would be delighted to dine with him tonight."

She watched the maid leave quickly and shook her head in disgust.

"Really, Arthur?" she said to herself. "Her?"

"Is there a particular reason for asking the Lady Morgana to eat with you here tonight?" Merlin asked as he scrubbed the table.

"None at all," Arthur replied without bothering to look up from the papers on his desk.

"So you just… felt like it?"

"Why is this of such interest to you, Merlin?"

"It's not!"

"Good. Then you'd do well to shut up and keep cleaning! I'm of no mind to endure her complaints about the state of my chambers."

Merlin looked around the tidy room proudly. "She won't be able to find a thing to complain of. I've scrubbed this whole place spotless!"

"Then surely you underestimate Morgana," Arthur said dryly. "And, by the way, get my good shirt out, the one I wore to the feast last month."

"Isn't that a bit overdressed for just a dinner with-"

"Did I ask for your opinion?"

Merlin thought about it. "…No."

"Then perhaps you should keep it to yourself," Arthur said through clenched teeth.

He sighed at that and continued to clean the table.

"But why-"

"MERLIN!"

"Alright, alright, shutting up."

Arthur jumped to his feet when Merlin opened the door for Morgana to walk in. Dinner was already laid out on the table with candles lit per Arthur's request. Silently, she scrutinized his quarters with an amused look on her face before sitting down adjacent to Arthur, who was fidgeting nervously.

"You missed a spot on the window, Merlin," she said.

Glowering, he was tempted to say something biting, but Arthur gave him a fierce look, warning him to stop it.

"Erm - I'll just go fix that then," he replied tersely.

"No, don't bother." She gazed teasingly at Arthur. "I don't believe, in all the years I've known you, your chambers have ever been quite so clean. Is it driving you mad?"

He made a face. "I don't know what you're talking about. I've always been mindful of the state of my quarters."

Merlin snorted and Arthur gave him a death glare while Morgana pretended not to notice.

"Shall we?" she inquired, raising her goblet to him.

He nodded and held up his own in return. "What should we toast to?"

"Why, to Camelot, of course."

"Perfect," he agreed. "To Camelot."

They started to eat their meal and Arthur tried to make small talk while she gave just the right amount of interest in return. Merlin stared blatantly at Morgana as he stood a few feet off to the side from them holding the wine jug.

He knew she was up to something, but couldn't figure it out just yet.

Arthur was in the middle of discussing a new policy his father was putting into effect about the state of the village when Morgana leaned towards him, putting her hand on his arm. She whispered something into his ear that Merlin couldn't hear. Only he noticed how pointedly Arthur swallowed at her touch.

"Merlin, get out," he said brusquely without taking his eyes off Morgana.

"What? But what if you need-"

"OUT."

Merlin knew there was no mistaking that tone. He put down the wine jug on the table, seeing Morgana smile at him surreptitiously, while Arthur was impatient. He gave the pair one last look before reluctantly leaving the room.

Arthur sighed in relief when the door closed. "Better?"

She nodded. "Thank you. It's not that I dislike Merlin, it's just… nice to be alone together sometimes without servants hovering over us. Is that alright?"

"Of course!" he said a little too eagerly and caught himself. "I mean… yes, sometimes it gets a bit crowded."

Morgana smiled shyly and went back to eating.

"I, erm, I haven't seen much of you these last few days - heard you were spending some time in the woods."

"Keeping tabs on me, Arthur?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No!" he blushed and tried to backtrack. "Not at all. I'm the crown prince, I must be aware of the things happening in Camelot, particularly the comings and goings of people in the castle."

"And I am just 'people' to you?"

He tilted his head questioningly. "What would like to be to me?"

Morgana glanced at him slyly, not replying right away. "Not just 'people' that is for certain."

His heart leapt with the flutter of hope. "Spend the day with me tomorrow," he blurted.

Morgana was a bit taken aback, but Arthur didn't regret saying it, only wanted to know her answer.

"And do what, precisely?"

"We could go riding, have a picnic, browse the marketplace, chase the wind, I don't care. Anything you like."

Her eyes lit up. "Anything?"

Perhaps he shouldn't have said that. There was a devilish grin playing on Morgana's shapely lips that both aroused and terrified him. He knew from experience that it meant whatever she had in mind would be risky, dangerous, and would without a doubt cause him a world of trouble.

Yet, he would never say no. Never could. Not to her.

Merlin watched in horror as the sound of clashing swords rang out across the field.

"I really think this is a bad idea!" he called out. "What if the King finds out?"

"Stop being such a worrywart, Merlin!" Arthur shouted back, chuckling. "It is what the lady wishes. So what if we get a disapproving glare from my father? I assure you, I've faced far worse!"

"Would you two shut up!" Morgana huffed impatiently. "We're fighting to the death here, Arthur, I would hope you'd pay more attention."

She swung her blade over his head and then lunged forward. He dodged and parried her attack.

"Yes, please pay more attention, Arthur," Merlin muttered under his breath.

"I'm paying attention!" he protested. "But you need to get your feet together, your stance is all wrong. Have you forgotten everything you've been taught?"

"Can I help it if I'm a bit rusty?" she snapped. "I don't exactly have daily sword training what with my life as a Lady of Camelot. Now, what's wrong with my feet?"

Merlin swore if this continued much longer, his heart was going to give out. Seeing Morgana with a deadly blade at Arthur's throat didn't exactly calm the nerves. How on earth had it come to this?

Only a couple hours earlier he had gone in to wake Arthur, only to see him already awake and dressed for the day. He had ordered him to collect some things from the armory and bring it to the training field without giving a word of explanation as to what it was for. It was still relatively early so there were few people around to witness what Merlin would regard with sheer panic. Arthur was going to help Morgana take up her sword training again after she had been denied further tutelage when she came of age. Such activity was not befitting of a lady.

Morgana spun around and thrust her sword right past Arthur's side, it scraped lightly against the chainmail.

"Oi! Watch it!"

She laughed. "Perhaps you should defend yourself better, my Champion."

With newfound determination, he started to attack Morgana with a little more force.

"Perhaps you shouldn't goad me, my Lady."

She only seemed delighted at the increased vigor of their sparring.

"And keep your feet moving!" he barked.

Merlin really couldn't believe what he was watching.

Arthur and Morgana were practically inseparable for the rest of the week. When he wasn't rushing through his duties, he was off somewhere with her. They went riding every day alone together, a couple hours were spent early each morning for Morgana's combat lessons, Arthur accompanied her twice already to the village marketplace, and they dined together for every meal.

Merlin's initial concerns had developed into a full-blown panic. Gauis tried to dismiss his suspicions by pointing out that Morgana and Arthur had always been close growing up, so this behavior really wasn't out of the ordinary.

However, Gwen shared Merlin's feelings and grew more melancholy with each passing day. Arthur was avoiding all contact with her, even when they were in the same room he couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. It hurt her more than she could say to have him treat her with such cold indifference. This wasn't the Arthur she knew.

Merlin tried to talk to Arthur about his sudden desire to spend time with Morgana, but he merely dismissed him, unwilling to discuss it. Then he tried to make a few attempts to keep them apart, such as forgetting messages and pushed him to go off hunting more often. It never worked and only resulted in Arthur thinking him more inept than usual. He brought up Gwen only once. Arthur's reaction had been so volatile that he dared not to broach the subject again. Merlin was utterly baffled as to what was going on with his Master. Morgana was plotting something and he was going to find out what.

It had been eight days since Morgause cast the enchantment when Morgana went to Arthur's quarters for dinner. He was there, standing at the head of the table as always, waiting for her. Merlin was nowhere to be found as Arthur had taken to making sure he left them alone. Instead of exchanging the usual pleasantries as they had fallen into doing, she simply walked up to him and kissed him on the mouth.

Arthur stared at her, dumbfounded, but she only smiled and seated herself. It took him quite a long beat to sit as well.

They didn't speak of it and he spent the rest of the meal watching her, not touching his food, while Morgana acted as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

The next day, when they went for a walk on castle grounds, Arthur kissed her back. She allowed it for a scant few moments before gently pushing him away.

The rejection wounded him deeply, but he was determined not to let it show. Fixing his gaze on the horizon line behind her, he asked, "Did I… should I not have done that?"

"What are we doing, Arthur?" she asked a bit impatiently, twisting her healing bracelet.

He didn't have an answer.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

Arthur couldn't believe she had to ask him that, Morgana was hardly that thick.

"I should have thought that obvious from what I just…"

"No," she cut him off. "I mean do you have… feelings for me? Or is this just some passing fancy to hold your interest because if it is-"

"Don't even dare," he said vehemently, looking straight into her. "It is much… much more."

Morgana didn't seem convinced and it surprised him. He never knew her to be so unsure, so evasive. From childhood, the one thing he could always expect from Morgana was that she would speak her mind, damn the consequences. What held her back now? She had kissed him, and allowed him to kiss her in return (at first). Surely that meant something?

"I know about you and Gwen," she said suddenly.

The words struck him like a fist to the gut. Morgana saw his reaction and turned away, distancing them a little bit.

"I doubt you'll try to deny it."

"H-how…who told you?"

"Arthur…" she said sadly. "I know you better than anyone. How could you believe I would not see it?"

"I'm sorry - so sorry." He hung his head, ashamed. "It's true. I don't really understand what happened. I made a terrible mistake, I – I don't know how to repair it, but you must believe me, I never meant to hurt…" He wanted to say 'you' and then he wanted to say 'her', but neither seemed right. "…anyone."

Morgana looked at him after a long silence. "Are you still with her?"

"No," he said strongly. "It's over. I'm not sure how it even started. I never thought…" he trailed off. "For as long as I can remember, my heart has only known one love, and however mistaken I've been these past two years, I swear to you… that still holds true."

She was quiet.

"Do you have feelings for me?"

"I…" she hesitated, "care about you deeply."

The reply couldn't have frustrated him more. "Yes, but how? As your friend? As your brother? As your…"

Her eyes landed on him sharply and the space between them seemed to crackle with electricity.

"We should go back," she said softly, head tilted towards the sky. "It will rain soon."

"Morgana…" He took her arm as she walked past him. "Please."

She seemed to recognize the painful need in him, the desperation to be put out of his suffering. With a deep breath, she raised her eyes to him and said the most beautiful words he had ever heard.

"I love you, Arthur. As a friend. As a brother. As a lover. So it has always been."

With that, she pulled away and started to walk back to the castle, leaving Arthur rooted to the spot.