Dear Santa, I Can Explain…

A series of Holiday stories featuring Christmas letters the characters write to Santa trying to explain themselves before they end up with a lump of coal.

Warnings: Tendershipping, Bakura being a pervert, and mentions of AHEM! toys.

Chapter 4 Bakura

Dear Fat Guy,

I can explain everything.

You see, that thing with Pegasus's plush?

Total accident.

Malik got knocked down during the pillow fight and when he tried to break his fall those sharp things on the sides of the Millennium Rod tore through the thing like the mutt through an all-you-can-eat buffet.

So we went looking for something to fix the rabbit with. Honest!

And y'know? Pegsy should really do something about his security. I mean all of that priceless antique silver was just sitting there in an underground, lead-lined vault with a sixteen-digit pass code where anyone could just walk off with it.

Same with those surveillance tapes.

Speaking of which, I have no idea how all of that stuff made it to my house.

I'm totally innocent.

Unlike Yami.

Did you know that he hit me last week at the mall for no reason?

I was just standing behind him, getting ready to steal his wallet, and he decks me!

Anyway, for Christmas I want a set of lock picks (Ryo got rid of my last set), something I can use to climb walls, four new fake I.D.s, handcuffs, anklecuffs, cockrings, a collar and leash, bondage rope, and a clean police record. (None of those were my fault in the first place!) And if you can do something to make Ryo more receptive to the use and… enjoyment of those gifts that'd be great.

Oh yeah, let the priest win against the pharaoh, it used to be amusing but now it's just pathetic.

And the look on that bas- baka's face would be priceless…

-Bakura

(I am a time who has changed)

"Bakura?" the hikari's tone was suspicious.

"Yes, yadonushi?" asked Bakura sweetly.

"Where did all of this silver come from?"

The former spirit started sweating, "Ummm… what silver?"

"The antique silver shoved under your bed with a flying horse engraved on every piece that I found while trying to collect your laundry," Ryo told him flatly, holding an ornate goblet in one hand and a laundry basket tucked under the other arm.

"Oh!" Bakura cried, "THAT silver! Well, I'm uh," Damn when did lying to him get so hard? "I'm keeping it safe for Pegasus!"

Ryo raised an eyebrow, "Really? Does he know that you're keeping it safe?'

"Well his secruity's awful, Ryo, he should be grateful that I'm helping him out. I mean it was all just sitting where anyone could take it!"

"Kura?" he asked giving his lover 'the look' (Yeah you know the one) "Where was the silver?"

"Ummm, in the vault?"

"Uh-huh. Well at least I know what to get Pegasus this year."

"What?"

"HIS STUFF BACK!" Ryo yelled, stalking off to finish his laundry and retrieve the rest of the stolen property.

Bakura pouted, Ryo was only fun in bed, anymore.

ROTF! Man I think I set the bar high with this one!