Hello and welcome to the twisted confines of my mind. :). Sorry about the wait, life is just…well. Life lol. Anyway, I'm sorry if my story lacks certain points from other characters. There are A LOT of people in this fic and it's really hard to involve everyone and keep it entertaining. So with that being said, I hope you enjoy this one. I'm not too confident about it, so let me know please :)
FYI: there is smut in the beginning. If you DON'T want to read it, skip to the FIRST LINE BREAK.
I don't own OUAT. (I'm still waiting for you Lana.)
Chapter 4. Spider
Ruby soon made her way upstairs after getting her dose of entertainment from watching Emma get in trouble with her wife. She took the steps one by one with a content grin on her face. Now that the drama has died down, it was time for some uninterrupted…fun, with her girlfriend. The red streaked brunette entered the shared bedroom and gaped at the sight in front of her. Belle was sitting on the bed in a black lacey negligee and red pumps. Ruby nearly drooled.
"I hope you had fun," Belle purred as she stood and swayed her hips while walking towards Ruby.
"Not as much fun as I'm going to have with you," she said as she leaned in for a kiss but was stopped by a slender index finger.
"Oh no, it's not that easy." Belle bit her bottom lip and grabbed her girlfriend by her belt loops. She smirked as she pulled Ruby towards the bed. "I will be making all the rules tonight." She quickly turned their positions and pushed her girlfriend roughly onto the bed.
Ruby gave a saucy hum, "mmm, is that so?"
"Yes," Belle moved to the nightstand and took out a pair of handcuffs. "You're under my control."
Ruby felt her arousal pool between her legs. She loved this side of Belle; it was so rare yet agonizingly sexual. Brown eyes watched as the younger brunette hand cuffed her to the bed poles. "You're so hot when you're like this Belle."
"Ah, ah," she answered with a wag of her finger, "it's Lacey."
The red streaked brunette nearly came on the spot from that piece of information. Having sex with Lacey was a complete 360 from having sex with Belle. She was beginning to think that this vacation was the best idea ever.
Belle…Lacey strutted to the foot of the bed and crawled on her hands and knees her girlfriend and slip up the other woman's body. Their lips met hotly as Lacey shoved her tongue between Ruby's lips, dominating the kiss. The red streaked brunette moaned into the kiss and tried to bring her hips up to create a much needed friction. She had been waiting for this all day. Her patience was thin.
Lacey showed a seductive grin before sliding down the other woman's body nibbling through the fabric. Stopping at the jean clad waist she used her hands to unbutton them and leaned down bringing the zipper into her mouth, opening the pants more with her teeth. Blue eyes looked up directly into brown as her soft tongue ran along the hem of Ruby's underwear, making the brunette squirm. Lacey then grabbed Ruby's pants, tugging them off and letting them fall to the floor. She stood on her knees and leaned over to the night stand to grab a soft red stress ball. "Keep this in your mouth," the blue eyed brunette husked as she held the ball to her girlfriend's face who complied without question and bit down onto the soft rubber skin. "If you drop it, you'll regret it."
Ruby nodded her head in understanding. The younger brunette then crawled back down while keeping eye contact. Stopping at the red underwear, she gripped it with her teeth and proceeded to pull them down with ease. Glancing back up into Ruby's wanton filled eyes again she dipped her head into the other woman's sweet core to lick up the entire length.
The red streaked brunette bit down on the ball that muffled her moans. Lacey wrapped her tongue around the swollen clit, bringing it into her mouth and sucking harshly. Ruby pulled against the restraints while rolling her eyes back in pleasure. She bit down hard on the little red ball and groaned.
The blue eyed brunette continued to suck on the engorged bundle of nerves before entering two fingers and plunging them deep into her girlfriend's wet core. Ruby's toes curled. Her entire body tensed as her orgasm threatened to spill over.
Feeling her girlfriend's core tighten around the slim fingers, Lacey picked up her pace. Ruby moaned loudly, dropping the ball as her orgasm took over; making her convulse.
Without giving the red streaked brunette a chance to come down from her high, Lacey removed her fingers and crawled up the other woman's body. She placed a knee on either side of her girlfriends head. "You dropped the ball, so I need to put your mouth to better use." She lowered her wet sex onto the other woman's face and moaned as a soft tongue shoved itself inside her.
Lacey rocked her hips against her girlfriends face as a hand shot down to tangle itself in brown hair. Ruby then removed her tongue to nibble and suck the other woman's clit. Unable to hold on any longer, the younger brunette shuddered as she climaxed on her girlfriends face.
Belle motioned to lie beside Ruby as they both tried to catch their breath. The red streaked brunette licked her lips with a grin. "Damn I love how you taste."
A giggle, "thank you."
"You're welcome…although I still am a bit hungry."
"What do you want to eat?" Belle questioned as she sat up ready to go downstairs to the kitchen.
"Why don't you un-cuff me and I'll show you."
The young brunette grinned as she straddled Ruby to un-cuff her.
The next morning….
A ray of sun shone through the window placing itself directly onto tanned skin. Regina wrinkled her face before slowly opening her eyes. She felt a strong arm snake around her waist and pull her closer. Emma mumbled something unintelligible and buried her face in the back of her wife's neck. The brunette smiled softly, even though she was still slightly upset with Emma for coming home drunk yesterday, it didn't put any damper on the love she felt for her blonde wife.
Regina decided that she wanted to mess with her wife a little and sensually pushed back against the other woman's belly. Emma stirred only slightly before falling back into dreamland. The brunette then turned around a little too lightly poke her finger in the blonde's ear. A pale hand lazily went up to the ear to swipe at it.
Regina snickered softly before repeating the action and shoving the tip of her pinky finger in her wife's ear. Emma growled this time as she swiped at her ear again and mumbled something about 'stupid mosquitos.' The brunette snorted while pressing her hand against her mouth to keep quiet.
Regina wanted to take their little game to the next level. She gingerly turned herself to face the blonde, careful not to wake her. Softly, she traced a finger along her wife's jaw and down her chest, stopping at a soft breast and tweaking the nipple slightly. Emma moaned lightly.
The brunette smirked and continued down her wife's body to feather her nails on a pale taught stomach. Judging by her wife's furrowed eyebrows and sporadic moans, she knew Emma was definitely aroused and would wake up any moment.
Time to go in for the kill, she mused. Regina slid her hand further down towards the blonde's core. She traced a finger along the hem of her wife's boy shorts before sinking her hand inside and quickly finding the hard long shaf-
Wait, what?
Regina looked down at her wife's hips and noticed an engorged phallus bulging from Emma's shorts. "What the hell is that?" The brunette screamed and jumped back, overestimating the width of the bed and falling onto the floor in a heap of sheets.
The commotion woke the blonde in a confused state as green eyes found her wife sitting on the floor with her hands behind her to keep her upright. A fearful and incredulous look on her face. "Regina, what are you-"
"You have a dick!"
In her sleepy state Emma was sure she had heard wrong, "wha-"
"Emma you have a dick!"
The blonde saw her wife point to her hips. Green orbs followed and set sight on a large bulge coming from her shorts. Emma's eyes grew wide, "AHHHH," the blonde rose in the bed and starting slapping away at the appendage as if to knock it off. Only succeeding in hurting herself. "OW! REGINA! WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
"I didn't do anything!"
"So how the fuck did this get here!? Give me my vagina back!"
"Emma I didn't do it."
"Someone had to; I can't just sprout this thing out of the blue." Emma started slapping at her growth again. Slap. "ow." Slap. "ow." Slap "ow…fuuucckk."
"Stop doing that, you're going to hurt yourself!"
The blonde looked down at the phallus and quickly stood from the bed pacing back in forth. "Regina…I have dick…" she looked down, "and balls…how can…FUCKING...GIVE ME MY VAGINA BACK!"
"I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T DO IT!"
Just then the couple heard a knock at the door and Snow's voice sounded on the other side. "Are you guys ok?"
"Mommy help me!" The blonde shouted.
Snow the barged in, "Emma what's-" her eyes feel to the bulge. "Regina what did you do?"
"I didn't do anything, your daughter probably fucked up her magic after getting drunk last night." She turned to her wife, "that's what you get."
The blonde moved towards her wife, "I didn't do it."
Regina jumped back, "don't come anywhere near me with that thing!"
"Ok, everybody just calm down," Snow tried. The couple stood silent and looked her way. "Now…how do we get rid of Emma's…friend here?"
"It is not my friend! It's magical evil sausage."
*silence*
"Calm down Emma," Snow tried.
"I can't calm down! I have a dick that's hard enough to cut fucking diamonds and my balls hurt. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP CALM!?"
Charming then came running towards the room to see what the commotion was about. "Everything ok in-" his eyes feel onto his daughter's hard appendage. "…NOPE." He turned to leave.
"Daddy help me!" The blonde shouted.
"NOPE."
"James," Snow yelled.
"UNCOMFORTABLE!" Charming then went into his bedroom and slammed the door.
Snow let out a breath after realizing she wasn't going to get any help from her husband. "Regina…is there anything you can do?"
"It's not my magic. Something like that has a biological connection. If I try to fix it I can either kill her or make things worse."
"What kind of worse?" Emma asked.
"Well…you could end up having…both."
"Oh fuck me with a pine cone."
Snow tried to ignore her daughter's language, "so whose magic is it?"
Regina shrugged, "the only ones here that have magic are me, Emma and…." There was a brief pause. "MOTHER!" The brunette yelled.
Cora strolled into the room with smug grin; "yeeessssss?" The queen of hearts scanned the room and set eyes on Emma's new growth. "Oh I see you got my gift, how do you like it so far?"
"You did this!?" The blonde asked incredulously.
"Of course I did…you really needed to grow a pair. So, I gave you some."
"You gave me a dick!"
"Well you can't exactly have one without the other. Duh." Cora shook her head, "are you really this stupid E-swag."
Regina interrupted, "mother give Emma her vagina back."
"Why? She needs to learn to stand up to you more." Cora grinned, "And would you look at that, it's already working." She said referring to the blonde's still hard member.
"Give my daughter her proper genitals please." Snow tried to appeal to the better side of Cora.
"Ease up off me Martha Stewart."
"Stop calling me that."
"I call it like I see it."
"EVERYBODY JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Emma screamed, she was more than angry at this point.
"Calm down bro," Cora stated.
"I AM CALM OK, BRO" she mocked.
Cora tisked, "so hostile."
Emma growled.
Regina placed a hand on her wife's shoulder, "honey please calm down, you might hurt yourself with all that extra magic."
The blonde shrugged the hand away, "don't tell me how to live my life!"
"Wow E-swag, your balls are finally in place. See, you are how you behave."
"It's, you are what you eat mother," the brunette corrected, "all the more reason you should give Emma her vagina back."
Granny walked towards the room with a disgruntled look, "what in the hell is with all the yell-…Emma the fuck…what kinda freaky shit is going on in here?"
"Cora won't give Emma her vagina back." Snow answered.
Granny turned to her friend, "c-drizzle…you can't just go around taking people's vagina's all willy nilly."
"I do what I want."
"The fuck are you going to do with Emma's vagina?"
The blonde suddenly felt the need to throw up. Regina was ready to smack fire out her mother and Snow just stood appalled. It was the most awkward question of the century.
Cora seemed to pause for a moment before raising her hand and restoring the blonde's proper genitals. The bulge slowly faded away. "Fine…I try to help you pussies out and all I get is a big fuck you. Well fuck you all too!" Cora turned to Granny, "Rebel Squad out! Deuces bitches." The two older women left.
Snow looked around awkwardly before turning to leave.
Emma faced her wife, "who the fuck wakes up to shit like this?"
"Language dear."
"I'm sorry, I just…" the blonde looked into her pants to confirm that her proper sex was there. It was. She placed a hand over it and made a pouty face. "I missed her."
Regina rolled her eyes, "I'm happy for you." Sarcasm.
"So…I think I need to run some tests," the blonde stated with a grin as she walked towards her wife.
A raised eyebrow, "tests?"
"Yea...to make sure she still works." A wink.
"Hmm…I suppose I could see what I could do." The brunette stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her wife's neck and tiptoed slightly for a kiss.
Later that day…
Granny, Cora, Henry, Snow, Charming, Emma and Regina sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. The table was once again over flowing with a variety of breakfast foods. The conversation seemed to go normal for the most part. That is until they got interrupted by a glowing Belle and a very tired looking Ruby. The couple silently sat at the table. Belle fixed a plate of food for her girlfriend before making one for herself.
Emma looked at her wife, "how come you don't do that for me anymore?"
"Do what?"
"Make my plate."
"Your hands aren't broken."
"So? You still used to do it."
"I guess I just…forgot."
Cora intervened, "that's why you should have kept my gift E-swag. Then you'd know how to handle your woman."
"I handle her just fine."
"Excuse me? I am not some object you need to 'handle'." Regina defended with air quotes.
Cora shook her head, "I don't let any of my hoe's talk to me like that."
"Damn straight," Granny agreed
"Mother! Henry is sitting here."
As if on cue the small brunet got up and left the table. Charming followed behind; he still wasn't completely ok with the events that happened earlier this morning and wanted to avoid anything else that may scar him further.
"I'm just saying…don't step on my stylo."
Regina and Emma both rolled their eyes.
Snow decided to speak up, "I think Emma has a point Regina. It is a nice gesture."
"See," the blonde stated with a hand towards her mother, "my mom still makes a plate for my dad."
Regina grabbed a muffin and tossed it onto her wife's plate, "happy now?"
"Not if you're gonna be all bitchy about it."
Belle spoke up then, "guys…it's just food. I wanted to do something nice for Ruby because she did something nice for me." The brunette looked at her girlfriend, "right baby?"
Ruby nodded and chewed her food slowly, almost as if it was causing her pain.
"You ok Rubes?" Emma asked.
The red streaked brunette nodded again.
"You sure?"
A nod.
"Speak girl!" Granny yelled.
Ruby sighed and mumbled.
"Huh?" Emma asked as she and the other's at the table leaned forward to hear better.
"I can't…"
"Can't what?" Snow questioned.
"My jon hursh." She slurred. Belle blushed.
"What?"
"My…jaw…ish hursh."
"The fuck are you trying to say?" Cora asked irritated.
Ruby blushed a deep red and Emma started to laugh with Regina following suit. The Swan couple doubled over in laughter.
"Did I miss something?" Snow asked.
"Where the fuck is the pot these bitches were smoking?" Granny asked.
Emma wiped a tear as her laughter calmed into a chuckle, "I…I just…" she looked at Ruby, "did you too happen to go…how you would say…"
"Digging for pearls," Regina answered and the two started laughing again.
"The fuck is going on!?" Cora stated, "And why aren't these bitches sharing their weed. There are laws against that in my hood. People get shot."
The couple calmed down and Emma spoke first, "let's just say…Ruby may have eaten more that she could handle."
"It's happen to us before," Regina clarified. "It's like when you eat too much on thanksgiving and your stomach hurts. Same thing except, the ache is in your jaw."
Ruby and Belle blushed an even deeper shade of crimson.
"I'm too old for this shit," Granny stated as she got from the table.
...
Regina, Belle and Ruby were in the kitchen cleaning things up from the breakfast. Belle had her hands submerged in water as she washed dishes, while Ruby 'helped' by standing pressed against her back and placing kisses for 'motivation' to finish faster. Regina was packing all of the unused food into the fridge.
She tried not to get annoyed by the constant giggling from the nearby couple. Her ears twitched upon hearing the familiar sound of kissing. Brown eyes looked over to find Ruby kissing up Belle's neck hungrily as the younger brunette bit her bottom lip. Regina sighed, "We do have rooms available."
Ruby stopped her kissing but remained behind her girlfriend; she turned her head to reply but froze on the spot. Her body tensed and her eyes grew wide. Sensing the tension, Belle turned towards Regina and gasped.
"What?" The brunette asked.
Ruby just pointed.
Regina followed the finger and looked above her head to find a large black spider dangling above in midair. "EMMA!" She screamed as she ran from the sight and ducked under a table.
The blonde came running in upon hearing her wife scream, Snow, James, Cora, Henry and Granny in tow. "What babe, what happened?"
"Spider," she squealed.
"Seriously Regina, you called me in her for a fucking- HOLY SHIT!" Emma screamed upon seeing the large spider.
"It's a mutant!" Cora yelled.
"KILL IT, KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Emma screamed.
Granny then ran upstairs to retrieve a proper weapon for battle.
Snow guided Henry over to the table where his brunette mother, Ruby and Belle were hiding. The blonde then walked over to her wife and kissed her, "if I don't make it today…know that I love you."
"Be careful dear."
"I will."
James rolled his eyes.
"Henry," Emma started, "protect your mom."
The small brunet saluted, "you got it ma."
"Ok…I'm going in." Emma stood and puffed out her chest as she walked over to her father and Cora.
"Alright," Cora started, "we bout to throw down up in here! Turn up!" The queen of hearts the pushed the palm of her hand forward allowing red magic to seep through towards the spider; knocking it down.
Charming grabbed a broom and chased after the fast moving spider. Emma grabbed a large soup pot cover and a wood spoon.
"What are you going to do with that?" James questioned.
"I'm working with what I have! DON'T JUDGE ME!" the blonde yelled.
"Hey! Brady bunch," Cora interrupted, "concentrate on the fucking spider."
Emma ran after the insect with the wooden spoon raised high in the air and using the pot cover as a shield. She swiped at the spider with as much speed and force she could muster. The bug continued to zigzag across the floor.
Charming jumped out in front of it. But as soon as he saw the oversized spider coming his way he panicked, "oh, shit. WHY IS THIS SPIDER SO BIG!?" He tried to stomp on the large bug but ended doing something similar to a river dance.
"The fuck are you doing?" Cora hissed, "this is a war not soul train!"
Emma ran after the spider again, "FOR NARNIA" she threw the pot cover at the insect which landed directly on one of its leg's taking it off completely. "YEAH! CHEW ON THAT YOU SEVEN LEGGED BASTARD!"
"REBEL SQUAD BITCHES!" Cora screamed and shot more magic at the spider, which disappeared behind the cabinet.
"What do we do now?" James questioned as they corned the bottom cabinet they saw the spider go under.
"I don't know, it's probably back there training…getting stronger." Emma stated. "Lifting weights and shit."
"True that…that little shit was gangsta." Cora agreed.
Just then Granny came behind them holding a small torch blower, "step aside you pansies. I got this."
"No wait," Emma placed out her hand, "you can't burn the cabinet. You'll ruin the house."
"And I'm not paying for that," James chimed in.
"We have to draw him out," the blonde suggested.
"Hand me the broom Charming," Cora asked. James acquiesced and handed the broom over. The queen of hearts then shoved the broom roughly in the space behind the cabinet; successfully fishing the spider out, causing it to scurry across the room.
Emma and James ran after spider leading it towards the sliding door that lead to the outside. As the insect made its way over Granny quickly jumped in front of the insect and pointed her torch towards it. "SAY HELLO, TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" She pressed the trigger releasing a wide line of fire and successfully burned the spider to a crisp.
Everyone, including the one's hiding under the table, came over to form a circle around the barbequed insect.
"Is it dead?" Henry asked.
All eyes peered down to the lifeless spider.
Regina placed an arm around her son shoulders, "yes sweetie, it is. We're safe."
"I need a drink after this shit," Cora stated before turning to the kitchen.
"I seconded that," Emma stated but changed her mind after receiving a glare from her wife. Apparently she was still in trouble.
Ruby and James decided to clean up the charred spider as everyone else went to sit in the living room to plan out the events for the day.
Hope I didn't disappoint. Again if you guys want to see anything tell me please! Please review, they make me happy.